Talk To Me

by facelesswriting

While finishing their education, the 8th years are picking up the pieces of their lives, but Harry's world is still crashing down around his ears. As he spirals apart, even the most unlikely people are banding together to keep him sane, but will he ever recover? And will he ever find his voice again? (TW for self-harm, panic attacks, and depression)

12. Chapter 12

12- Harry POV

I hadn't been down to Hermione's common room in weeks. I couldn't make myself go no matter how much I knew my friends wanted me to.

I don't want to. Why don't they get that. I can't. I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I-

"You okay Harry?" Hermione was looking at me like I'd been gone too long, her brown doe eyes worried.

I can't I can't I can't I ca-

I pressed my lips together tighter, then released the extra pressure.

I can't I can't I-

"If you're sure, mate."

I can't I can't I can't I can't-

I clenched my hands into fists.

I can't I-

"I don't want to leave you," Hermione hesitated.

No! No! No! No! No! No-

I imagined her sitting snuggled up to Ron on the couch in her common room and sent it to her.

I can't I can't I can't I can't I-

"Okay," She didn't sound sure, "You know where we'll be if you need us." The door clicked shut behind them, and after a simple wave of my wand to ward it, I was screaming.

The room was spinning and I didn't remember the walls being purple. I was sure things were shattering about. It was okay. So was I.

I could feel myself sobbing. I couldn't feel myself breathing. My chest was heaving, twitching, but there was no air.

My arms hurt. The underside of my nails felt full, and I knew I'd peeled strips of skin off my arms again, but there was no air.

I was choking on salt. My throat burned. I didn't know where I was. And there was no air.