Following the sounds of a song by a band she didn't know, Wanda made her way to Steve's room. Though she wasn't looking for him. The mug of hot chocolate was kept warm by the red energy pulsating softly from her palms. As she got closer to the bedroom, she had a brief thought that it would've been better to bring some sort of alcohol instead.
The music was much louder than it had been from down the hall, especially since the door was wide open. She peered into the room to see Steve's quasi-girlfriend crossing in front of the doorway, perfectly folded clothes in her hands. If she knew Wanda was there, she didn't say anything or even pause and look her way - entirely focused on her task at hand. Packing to go somewhere, even though she had just gotten there only a few hours earlier.
"Hi." Wanda tried to be heard over the music, but still there was no reaction from the other woman. She cleared her throat, but the woman ignored her again. Glancing to the soundsystem, she lifted one hand off the mug to extend a coil of energy to the system and turn the volume down drastically.
Startled by the sudden volume dip, Q stopped in her tracks. She glanced at the soundsystem, saw no one was there, then whirled around to see if anyone was behind her. Her eyes widened at the sight of Wanda momentarily, before narrowing. Though the grip on her shampoo bottles tightened, which gave away her fear of the younger girl standing across from her. Even if she was the adult, hell she was well past thirty years old, Q somehow never felt more like a scared at that moment.
"Hi." Wanda repeated herself, feeling herself shrink back a bit at the hard gaze she was receiving, "I, uhm, here." she extended the hot chocolate out toward Q who eyed it warily, "It's hot cocoa. I know you don't like coffee." she explained herself and the reasoning behind her actions in a lilted Eastern European accent Q had become accustomed to over the last couple of years.
"Right, because you've been in my head." she responded cooly, raising her eyebrows a bit at the younger girl. Wanda swallowed back the lump in her throat and shook her head enough so that part of her hair fell in front of her face to both hide from and hide herself.
"No, uh, Steve mentioned it." she corrected Q, "He talks about you a lot." she added with a glance at Q, hoping the mention of the man she loved would soften her a bit. The older woman studied her for a long moment, then took in a breath.
"I know what you're doing." she said matter of factly. Unceremoniously, she dumped the bottles she was holding into her suitcase, then planted her hands on her hips, "Coming here with that little peace offering of yours, bringing up Steve...all in hopes of me forgiving you." she read through Wanda easily, "It's not going to work." she shook her head, "Hot chocolate can't fix everything, trust me, I've tried." she sighed, glancing at her suitcase for a moment. Wanda chewed on her bottom lip for a moment, a little disappointed that her gesture of good will hadn't done anything. But she should've known better; if she was in Q's shoes, she probably wouldn't have fallen for it either. She set the mug of hot chocolate on the dresser that was by the door, still standing in the doorway since Q hadn't welcomed her in the room in any way.
"I'm sorry." she said quietly after a moment, "I'm sorry for what I did to you." she pulled down the sleeves of her cardigan over her hands. A nervous habit, but also to show that she wasn't going to do anything.
"You are now. You weren't then." Q stepped over to her suitcase to rearrange things around, "And the only reason you are now is because you have something to lose." she pointed out.
"Maybe," Wanda's brow furrowed a bit, "But maybe that's also because, before, I had thought I already lost everything." her point made Q pause, being reminded of what Steve had said on the roof a little bit earlier. "Turns out I hadn't." she finished with a sad smile directed nowhere, wrapping her arms around herself as if to try to contain the grief inside of her. A pose Q knew well; from seeing it on Steve countless times, and her heart went out to the girl for a moment before her head reminded her of all the pain she was put through under Wanda's hands. The visions crept back in; Steve's dead body heavy in her arms, eyes unfocused and last words echoing - telling her it was her fault he died.
"That doesn't excuse your actions." Q shook her head a bit, "We've all been through shit, most of us don't go around literally fucking with people's heads." she motioned to her head with her hand, swirling it around in a circle a bit. Wanda pursed her lips because while Q was right, it was a little ironic coming from her considering the things she had done in her past. All of which she knew from spending time in her head.
"I know this." she tried not to snap back, not wanting to get into a fight with the other woman, but her voice was tight, "And I'm trying to do better. Just like you." she added as both a dig and a reminder. Q paused, half bent over her suitcase, to glance over at Wanda and then straighten up.
"What's that supposed to mean?" she asked with a narrowing of her eyes. Wanda shrugged a bit, trying to control her nerves as appealed to one of her victims. Something she hadn't had to do before what happened in Sokovia. Try and convince others that she was trustworthy and could be of some use rather than a hindrance.
"You did bad things when you were my age," she reminded Q about how she knew about her past and just how young she was, "and then tried to...make yourself better." she awkwardly finished in English, then repeated herself in Russian, "Be a better person." she sounded more confident with the phrase in one of her native languages.
Although Q's heart returned, a small piece still ached to comfort the girl. The realization that the person you had become was not the person you wanted to be was something Q knew all too well. She had been there, been that angry teenager that was so against the world and wanted to cause as much pain as it had caused her. Then she was forced to see the consequences of her decisions and actions, just as Wanda had in South Asia with Ultron. Her adoption into SHIELD, while had been rough, had been the best thing for her. Just as Wanda's adoption into the Avengers had been.
Q studied the girl for a moment, wondering how she had gotten into this situation. She was so young, but somehow so old too. Thrust into a war at such a young age and forced to grow up. Q suddenly thought of her younger sister, even if Molly was a bit younger than Wanda. She couldn't bear to think of anything like that happening to her. The loss of a childhood, of innocence.
And it was painfully clear that Wanda wanted to move past what she had done, not only to Q personally, but in the name of Hydra because she had been under the impression that she had been on the right side. And while Q had never joined or worked for Hydra, she could understand wanting to leave a painful past behind. Start anew.
"Listen, I get it." Q gave her a small smile, stepping away from her suitcase as she did so, "I do. And while I can appreciate you wanting to turn over a new leaf, I'm just…" she trailed off and let out a breath, "I don't trust you." she raised her shoulders up, "Not after you tortured me, and Steve, with some of our biggest fears. How can I?" she asked with a gesture to Wanda, "How do I know that this isn't one big mind fuck?" she laughed a bit, "I'm terrified of you, Wanda. I mean, you have to understand that, right?" Wanda swallowed back a lump in her throat, nodding a bit because she did. It was strange; in the past, hearing that someone was scared of her was a good thing. She had succeeded. But now, she just felt...bad. It made her sick to her stomach. She didn't want people to be scared of her or what she would do to them. She didn't want to hurt them, she wanted to save them.
"I am sorry." she repeated herself, "And I'm really trying to make it better. Prove myself too." she added as if that would help. Q nodded, taking it at face value. She wasn't going to believe anything Wanda said in terms of apologies and doing the right things until she saw it with her own two eyes. And even then, she'd have to have someone back her up in that it actually happened and wasn't just a trick of the light - or whatever sort of weird powers the girl had.
"Well, good luck with that." she sighed, then turned back to her suitcase, "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to finish packing." she picked up a folded shirt and refolded it just to have something to do with her hands.
"You're not really leaving, are you?" Wanda asked, stepping into the room a bit, but stopping in her tracks at Q's warning look. "Why?" she asked another question, her first getting an answer on it's own.
"Because I don't feel safe while you're here. And I can't be around you." she put it plainly, without care of Wanda's feelings, "I can't be around you because I'm still trying to deal with what you did to me." the knife was twisted a bit deeper into Wanda's gut. Having PTSD was one thing, but being the source of someone's PTSD was an entirely different feeling that was never talked about.
"What about Steve? Is he going with you?" she tried to ignore the urge to run away or puke or do both. The constant reminder of what she had done and how she had made Q feel was weighing on her. Though maybe she deserved it. The Avengers hadn't held it over her head or reminded her of what she did as much as Q was. She had to finish her penance somehow, someway. And maybe that was through Q.
"He's staying here." she huffed out, clearly not happy about it, "He knew about what happened to me and how you were involved, but didn't tell me. Just let me come ho...he just let me come here." she paused and reworded whatever she was going to say. She shifted some things around in her suitcase, mumbling under her breath about how she never should've come back to the compound.
"He was really excited about you coming here." Wanda commented, tucking her hair behind her ears, "Talked about it all the time." she continued with a small smile, "It was kind of funny to see him so…" she trailed off, "Normal?" she ended like it was a question rather than an accurate description of how Steve was acting. As if the word didn't fit. Yet somehow, Q knew exactly what she meant.
"Like he was just Steve instead of Captain America?" she asked with a fond smile. Wanda nodded, arms wrapping around her midsection and rolling back on her heels a bit.
"I think it's good that you're here." she nodded to herself a bit more as if turning over the idea in her head, "Better if you stayed." she added with a raise of her eyebrows. Q took in a deep breath, looking away from the younger girl and at a random spot on the wall in front of her.
"I want to stay." she admitted without thinking about it, "But I can't if you're here." she added with a glance in Wanda's direction, "And you're not going to leave," she continued with a slight shake of her head, "because that would mean giving up the one good thing to happen to you and I know how tight your grip on this is." she gestured around the room, meaning the compound and the Avengers themselves rather than the room specifically, "You'll do anything to stay on the actual right side again." her voice was heavy with implications of past actions taken.
"I can stay out of your way." Wanda tried to come up with a solution that would work for both of them, "You won't even know I'm here." she lifted her chin up a bit, confident in her skills to hide in the shadows and blend in with a crowd - just as she had for years before. The seemingly easy fix seemed too easy. There were too many variables. Too many things that she would have to accept and let go.
"I don't know…" she chewed on the inside of her bottom lip, "Just...this has been a lot for me." she admitted, falling back on one foot and giving her a pained smile, "I need a second to clear my head and think about this." Ever since Wanda appeared, her entire body had been buzzing much more than normal, trying to figure out what to do and how to react and what was coming next. She was exhausted just from the fifteen minute conversation they had.
"Okay." Wanda nodded, stepping back a bit into the doorway again, "I will leave you alone then." she agreed finally. Q gave her a relieved smile, shoulders relaxing a bit as the girl shuffled out of her room. Following after her, Q shut the door with a solid click - catching sight of the now cold mug of hot chocolate on top of the dresser. Steve's voice echoed in the back of her head: she's just a kid. Molly's face followed his words since that was the only other kid Q knew. The familiar heartache returned, causing her to turn away from the mug and step back over to the sound system to turn up the volume on her playlist.
The muffled sounds of Metric picked up again, causing Dawson to groan inwardly. Only he was privy to knowing what that meant. Q was having one of her episodes again. He knew he should go make sure she was okay.
"That's the second time she's played that song." Nat pointed out from where she was leaning against the dresser in the spare room he had found and claimed earlier in the day.
"Yeah," he sighed, hands going to settle on his hips, "The playlist is only four songs to begin with." his finger twirled in the air, signaling the repetition process that was about to happen.
"This happens a lot, huh?" the question seemed rhetorical so Dawson didn't respond, just raised his eyebrows up instead, "Should you go make sure she's okay?" she asked a follow up question and he let out a sigh.
"She's fine. She can handle it on her own." he crossed his arms over his chest, wanting to get back to the conversation they had been having before Q's terrible music taste rudely interrupted them. Nat stared at him for a moment before slowly nodding and glancing around the room they were in.
"So, how long are you back for?" she finally asked the question both had been dancing around for the past hour. Nat had found him in his new bedroom, both pretending to be surprised at the sight of the other. Exchanging pleasantries that were too tight and tense to be considered polite.
"T-B-D." he kept it simple. Mostly because he had no idea. Q had told him about the Accords, but he wasn't quite sure what they were going to do until the documents were dropped into their laps. Wait around? Pretend they were part of the team again? He wasn't sure which was worse.
"Well, let me know if you need anything." Nat tossed her curls over her shoulder. Her hair was longer than it was the last time he had seen her. He liked it longer, "This place pretty much has everything and if it doesn't, Tony gets it before we even know we need it." she said casually, glancing at him to watch him bristle at the mention of Tony's name. An involuntary reaction to one of his many sworn enemies.
"Great. Good to know. Thanks, Nat." he managed out in a clipped tone. She tried not to smile at the reaction she so easily got out of him. He took in a breath and let out some of his annoyance that had built up at Stark's name, glancing away from his...whatever Nat was now. "Anything else I should know about?" he hoped the question came off as more related to the compound rather than Nat personally.
"Depends." she placed her hands behind her on top of the dresser so she could lean back on it fully, "Are you asking about me? Or about the WI-FI password?" she raised her eyebrows a bit and he let out a scoff.
"Clearly the password." he played her game a bit, rolling his eyes and then fixing her with a look. She smirked at him, relaxing her shoulders a bit as she let out a breath.
"Nothing's changed." she raised her eyebrows a bit, finishing with, "But everything's changed." he pursed his lips, not happy with the answer she gave him, but knowing she was right. He was there, though, and planned on staying as long as he could. So that had to count for something.
A little while later, Steve knocked once on his bedroom door all while knowing that Q probably couldn't hear it over the volume of the song she was listening to. He pushed open the door carefully. There was a part of him that worried she had already left. Again without saying goodbye. History repeating.
Instead, to his relief, he found her lying on the floor of his room. Eyes trained on a spot on the ceiling, her arms and legs were spread out in a snow angel style. If it were any other time, he'd take a picture, or at least make fun of her. But at that moment, he just stepped over to the sound system and paused the song that had been playing. If the sounds of the guitar and other instruments were loud, the silence that came after was deafening. A wince crossed her features, causing him to regret turning it off so abruptly. Maybe it wasn't just her leaning into her teenage angst.
"Are you trying to blow out your ear drums?" he raised his eyebrows up, gaining a scoff from her.
"Sorry, Dad." she droned out. He grinned a bit, grateful that she was still focused on the ceiling so that she didn't see. There was a brief moment of quiet which she took advantage of to recenter herself, then sit herself up, moving so her back was against the bed and she could face Steve more fully.
"You're still here." Steve stated the obvious, leaning against the wall by the sound system. She gave him a small smile and then let out a sigh.
"So I am." she agreed, sounding almost surprised herself. Even though they were quiet for a moment, the next question that he wanted to ask was loud and clear, "I don't know." she answered before he said it out loud, "I don't want to leave," the unspoken you directed at him was obvious, just as obvious as the but coming after.
"We can figure it out." he said before she could tell him the reason why she thought she should leave. It was a big, understandable reason. But not one that they couldn't work through if she stayed. He pushed off the wall, crossing over the room and lowering himself down to sit beside her on the floor, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you." he apologized again, "I was just so...happy to have you back," he turned his head to look at her, "I didn't want anything to ruin it." he admitted with a sad smile. The guilt was apparent which made her heart clench a bit. "I want you to stay, Queenie." he reminded her, "And if that means finding a way to make you feel safe, then that's the least I can do." he assured her, "It's my job after all." she gave him a half smile.
"That's my line." she nudged him, referring back to the excuse she would use all the time as his appointed, personal SHIELD analyst. He gave her a quick grin and then turned his gaze away. Leaning her head on his shoulder, she reached for his hand, intertwining their fingers together.
"Don't leave. Not again." he pleaded with her softly. The beat of her heart filled her ears for a moment, her brain putting pieces of the puzzle together. There were ways they could work on this, together.
"Okay." she found herself agreeing with him, knowing that he was on her side again. That he had seen his mistake and was now working on a way to fix it. All for her. Always for her.
A/N: She's staying! And they're gonna figure it out! Sweetness! The bbs. I hope you liked this chapter - I know it was mostly dialogue but idk that's good sometimes. Let me know your thoughts and feels and comments. Thank you always for reading.
Also, side note: recently got spammed with a couple of guest commenters who decided we were back in 2008 and "sporked" me and I just have to say: fuck you. If you have an issue with my story, message me directly or just don't...read it...super simple! Don't go around leaving horrible guest reviews to make someone feel like shit. Thank you to all those who've supported me for the last two years and constantly leave amazing reviews that I cherish. You all rock.