Chapter Three
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They were both dumbfounded, Flynn found his voice first.
"That's an astute summery, Anastasia. Christian, do you believe this to be the truth?"
"Yes." He's still astounded.
"Christian, when you look at me do you see your mother? When you hit me with the belt did you see her? When you hold me, protect me, make love to me, fuck me do you see her?" I suppress a giggle when I think he looks like a dog as he shakes the shock from his face.
"No. That's why you're so different." He takes a deep breath.
"I've almost never seen her when I look at you, the last two hits with the belt I saw her. It terrified me." I move into his lap.
"Christian, we're never doing that again. If you begin to view me as her at any moment sexual or not safeword and we'll talk okay?" He nods kissing my hair. "Is there more?" I ask pointedly thinking of Mrs Robinson
"You know mostly about Elena."
"How do you feel about her, Ana?" Flynn asks
"Mrs Robinson..." Flynn's laughter interrupts my beginning.
"I'm sorry, that was unprofessional." I blush.
"I think she's a pedophile."
"Ana... she's not."
"Yes she is, Christian." I interrupt his interruption, and move so there's now a tiny gap between us, we're still holding hands.
"I think she's a pedophile. She was friends with your mother, so she must have known at least some of your issues." I question, he nods guiltily. "She used the information given to groom you. Chances are you aren't the only teenager she's abused this way, since it's over a decade later and you're still under her thrall."
"You make it sound like she's a vampire." Christian frowns. I hold my tongue on my 'sucking' joke.
"Christian we don't have to delve into this right now, but think about this: how many other friends of you have? How many times has she told you that people wouldn't understand your lifestyle, causing you to cut people out? Including your family. How many of the negative thoughts you have about your self has she helped you overcome? Has she helped your issues? Outside of finding an outlet, which she then abused by keeping those who love you away from you. Like I said about your family?" He solemnly nods, Flynn looks like he's hiding a triumphant grin. I'm sure if we left now he'd look like the Cheshire Cat from Alice in Wonderland.
"Ana, is there anything you'd like to share?" Flynn asks a kind smile. I look to Christian, he squeezes my hand.
"You know my biological father died when I was a day old. He was in the marines, he died in a combat training accident. Then mom married Ray, he's army as well, they were married in June nineteen ninety. Then they divorced in July two thousand and six, she married husband number three in August that year. We don't really talk about him."
"Why not?" Flynn asks
"My mom took me away from Ray, who I consider my real dad. He's the man that raised me. And took me to Las Vegas to marry Stephen, he'd always made me a little uncomfortable. I'd just assumed I didn't know him well and resented him. My mom cheated on Ray with Stephen. That broke my home apart. A couple weeks after they were married, mom was working so it was just me and Stephen in the house. We'd been alone before, but this time was different." I take a long sip of my water, trying to procrastinate on telling the rest. Christian gives me a reassuring smile, squeezing my hand again.
"He came into my room, I was reading, he asked why I wasn't out with friends. I told him I didn't have any yet, he shouted that I wasn't pretty enough, I was too boring. He then started on about how when he imagined he'd have a step-daughter he thought it would be more fun. She'd have lots of friends around and she'd just be more fun. But no, he got stuck with me. He then pushed me to my bed and said if I was girlier if I wore more makeup had a push up bra I'd be sexier and he'd want me then. But I'm too ugly for him to want. Then he ... h... he punched me in the face and left." I take some deep breaths. Christians hand is squeezing mine so tightly it could break. I try to smile.
"My mom came home an hour later, I told her what happened but Stephen had already said to her that I'd slipped. She knew I was clumsy, she told me that if I couldn't accept that she was in love and happy then I'd just have to go back to Ray. If he wants you back, you're not really his daughter. Of course Ray believed me, he got a flight that night, and we were gone hours later. Their marriage only lasted until the next January. He hit her on New Years Eve so bad she ended up in the hospital, she divorced him and left. I think he'd hit her before that but I never asked and she never told. She moved back in with my grandma, in Georgia then married Bob in two thousand nine. She's happy, he's a really nice guy." I finish skirting around facts, but of course Dr Flynn isn't falling for that.
"You didn't move with her to Georgia?"
"No. After I left Vegas we barely spoke. The only time she contacted me was on Christmas Day when she called, for five minutes. When she got to Georgia she offered me to live with her but I didn't want to. We didn't speak for a few months, until my grandma and Ray conspired. They got me to Georgia, let me and mom speak. We spent about an hour in silence. She didn't understand why I didn't want to be with her, I didn't understand why she thought I would want to leave a stable home when for all I knew I'd be shipped to another state when she falls in love again and then if he turns out to be like Stephen I'd be back with Ray. I was happy with Ray, so I wanted to stay put. When I told, Well I shouted really. We came to an understanding. She was hurt I didn't trust her, but grandma and Ray got us to make peace. We're a lot better now."
"Is that part of why you decided to leave straight after the belt?"
"I couldn't be my mother. Staying in a toxic environment just for love. But, this isn't a toxic environment if we promise to not let it become that way." I smile up at my love. I trust him.
"We won't go back to that place again, Ana. No contracts, no rules." He promises.
"I think we can end here, Christian we'll stick to our regular meetings. However, if you hit a rough patch don't hesitate to call." He looks at both of us, I feel warm knowing we have someone there. Looking up at my man, I feel confident. Honesty, trust and love. We'll work it out. We get up to leave but Dr Flynn has something else.
"Christian, before we wrap this up is there anything specific you think you want Ana to tell you about?" After Christians no, I'm asked I can think of one thing.
"How many people have you slept with, including me?" I ask him, smirking.
"Ninety Four." He replies after a moment.
"If that number gets to ninety five no amount of security will protect you."