u/KronkyMalonky: You scroll through Netflix and click play on Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone, enjoying the nostalgia until as Harry and the students are about to enter the dining hall, suddenly with a flash of light and rubbing of your eyes, you discover you are now Harry Potter!
Alternate Reality
"THE ONE WITH THE DARK LORD'S SPIRIT WITHIN SITS AT YOUR TABLE! THE FRAGMENTS OF HIS SOUL SCATTERED, BUT NOT LOST! THE ONE WITH THE POWER TO VANQUISH THE DARK LORD, THE ONE OF PROPHECY, WILL BRING THEM ALL AND IN THE DARKNESS BIND HIM!" You bellow your best Trelawny impression, dramatically slumping to the ground after your grand pronouncement. A beat passes, then you blink up at everyone around you as though as confused as them.
"What, why is everyone staring at me?"
"You shouted something and then fell over, mate," whispers another student.
"Something about a dark lord sitting here with us."
"Well of course he is," sneers what could only be Draco Malfoy. "Everyone knows Dumbledore is the evilest most manipulative dark lord the world has ever seen. And an incompetent fool to boot."
"You realize those are mutually exclusive, right?" you mutter. He ignores you.
"Children, please settle down. Greengrass, Daphne?"
A nondescript girl walks over to the hat to be sorted, and you try to catch a glimpse of her face. But there are too many people in the way. You can't even tell if her hair is dark or light. It isn't important, you suppose. A mere side-quest.
The sorting proceeds as anticipated, though it takes some arguing to convince the hat to put you in Gryffindor.
You don't make any further fuss that day, though you do write out a quick list of everything important you remember from canon just in case. You hope that Dumbledore can figure out your hints from the 'prophecy' but you can't afford to rely on that.
The moment you're free of supervision and fans, you slip away upstairs to find the diadem.
It's harder than anticipated, the castle more capricious and the instructions you remember so vague. You spend hours pacing the halls in different sections, desperately needing to get at the room of requirement, and finally a door opens to allow entry.
The search takes even longer, but you know what you're after and roughly where it should be. When you finally do find it you realize that touching it might be a bad idea. Fortunately, there is basically anything imaginable here, so you find a pair of lacy gloves that aren't too much too big and grab the cursed item.
One down.
You turn to leave but Quirrell stands between you and the exit.
"Very clever, boy," hisses Voldemort's voice. "But you underestimate me to your peril."
"Yeah, yeah. Do your worst."
"Avada kedavra!" he snarls, and that's the end of that. Oops.
You sit up groggily from where you fell asleep on the sofa. The end title screen is still up. Neville Longbottom and the Dark Diadem. One of your favourites. You smile and rewind to the last thing you remember before nodding off. The great hero of the first war is about to deliver his final prophecy before disappearing for good, and it'll be up to the kids to investigate.
Such a wonderful series. It's no wonder it gained global acclaim.