The stages of grief, Steve had discovered, were bullshit. There was no right or wrong way to process the grief that came along with losing someone - hell there was no right or wrong way to process losing Peggy. He hadn't been angry like he had when he lost Q. Or guilty like when he lost Bucky.

Surprise, shock, was the first thing that came after the sudden sadness. Peggy's death surprised him. Even though he knew it was a natural part of life, he had been having trouble wrapping his head around the fact that she was gone. Really gone. Never to return again unless in his dreams.

Death happened to everyone eventually. Hell, even he had died before. So had Bucky. Peggy, though, had always been a sort of immortal being. She had been with him in the beginning, way back before he had gone plummeting into the Arctic. There when he died the first time, then somehow still there when he rose again. She had always been there. Until she wasn't.

Throughout his time as Captain America, and even before that, Steve had lost many people to death. First his father, then his mother, then soldiers and friends. All loss was different, in the worst way possible. Losing Peggy was nothing like losing his father; there was a sense of freedom that came from that. Losing Peggy was nothing like losing his father; there was an ache in his heart that never truly went away, burning whenever he wanted to talk to her about something or saw something that reminded him of her. Losing Peggy wasn't like losing a soldier; that was a casualty of war that had a specific way of grieving in place.

He had lost Peggy once before, when he went into the ice. Had thought he lost her again when he woke up to find that she had moved on without him. Then truly, permanently lost her in a way that no one but Bucky had returned from. And he highly doubted the same thing that happened to Bucky would happen to Peggy. The loss was insurmountable, piling onto the previous feelings of loss and crushing him slowly.

The three days following the news of Peggy's death had been a whirlwind of chaos, but he felt like he had stayed still. Like he was standing in the eye of a hurricane. Q, thankfully, handled all the arrangements for the funeral. He, Sam and she would be going to London for the funeral instead of Vienna for the signing of the Accords.

The Accords were the least important thing to him. He had made up his mind. Only wishing he had gotten a few more days to help everyone else see the negatives of the documents. As much as Ross preached that the United Nations wouldn't be controlling the team, just advising them, Steve was unconvinced. He hated working for SHIELD because he felt as long he was compromising all the time for the 'greater good' which in reality was the greater good for SHIELD. The only reason he stayed was because of Peggy, and since she was no longer living or had any impact on the United Nations, he didn't feel beholden to be another government's lap dog. He had to do what was right, even if everyone was telling him it was wrong. Stand up for the little guy, against the bully. Something that was instilled in him at a very young age, and a trait that wouldn't ever go away. So he wouldn't sign them.

The funeral would overlap with the signing of the Accords just enough where if he wanted to, he could use it as an excuse. Not that he ever planned on going in the first place, but that was beside the point. He was going to take the time to say goodbye to his friend, his first love, one of the few women who changed his life.

The last time Steve had been in London was with Peggy and the rest of the SSR during the war. Most of the time he had spent either underground, planning the next Hydra raid with the Howling Commandos, or getting a drink at one of the pubs with Bucky and their fellow brothers in arms. There had been no real exploring, though Peggy had offered a couple of times to show him around whenever they had a free moment. An offer that was meant for tomorrow, even though tomorrow only came seventy odd years too late.

The city was still as grey and gloomy as it had been back then, but this time it felt sadder. A different sadness than the one that lingered throughout his time there during the war. Like it knew about the loss that Steve was dealing with and offered up its sympathy in the form of cloudy skies. He, Q and Sam had arrived in London a couple of days before the funeral just to get settled and sort out any last minute details. Understanding what he was going through and knowing what needed to be done, Q took it upon herself to plan, schedule and book the entire trip to London. He couldn't have been more grateful to have her by his side again - especially during a time like the present.

"So the service starts at ten, but we need to be there like a half an hour early because you're a pallbearer," he was reminded of the role he had been asked to perform from Peggy's remaining family. One last expression of respect. Not only for Peggy, but for those she left behind. Q didn't pause as she continued to go through the schedule for the next day, "and then after we're done at the graveyard, there's the wake at some London pub Peggy and her brother used to go to before he shipped out." she waved her hand in the air as if she didn't remember the name of the pub, even though both of them knew she did.

"Okay," Was all he could think to respond with. Just agreeing without any sort of inflection to his voice. He wasn't sure what he was supposed to say - it all was plainly laid out for him. His answer made her shift in the bed, turning onto her side so she could fully face him.

"Sorry," she grimaced at herself, "I'm being anal. This isn't helping you, is it?" he wrapped his arm around her and pulled her a bit closer to him.

"No, it's not." he agreed with a sad smile, "But it's not because it's a lot to remember or complicated or anything like that, it's just…"

"Hard." she finished for him with an understanding smile, "I get it. Went through the same thing when my grandmother died." One of the first times in a long time she had mentioned her grandmother since Thanksgiving a few years prior. A sympathetic smile came over his face but before he could offer anything else, she had moved on to a solution for him, "You need to get out of your head for a couple of hours." she told him matter of factly as she moved to straddle his lap. He raised his eyebrows up at the position she was in - not complaining about what might happen, but also thinking it was a bit...unorthodox to do such a thing the night before a funeral.

"Sam may have gotten his own room, Queenie, but the walls are thin. And he's right next door." he reminded her with a pointed look. She rolled her eyes, placing her hands on his chest and leaning forward,

"Get your mind out of the gutter, Steven." she chastised him lightly before delivering a quick kiss, "I was thinking of doing something with our clothes on." she moved off of his lap and off of the bed. Clearly using him as a barrier she needed to climb over to get off the bed instead of just getting off from the other side.

"C'mon," she offered her hand to him. Her fingers waggled a bit to tempt him, which worked; he easily closed the space between them with a reach of his hand. His fingers closing the spaces between hers and connecting them together.

Still holding her hand as they walked out of the hotel, he enjoyed the soft sounds of an evening in London. They had gotten dinner with Sam earlier, avoiding topics like the Accords, the funeral, and anything that reminded any of them about what happened in both Sokovia and outside of it. Needless to say, it was a quiet dinner. And not in the comfortable way like it was when it was just him and Q.

Glancing over, he caught sight of her profile. The glow of the streetlights highlighting her bone structure in a way that made her look warm and beautiful. The space between her brows was pinched a bit in concentration. Solely focused on where they were going, and trying not to get distracted by other things happening around them. A slight squeeze of her hand was enough to get her to look at him, the smile spreading a bit more at the sight of him.

She leaned into him a bit, readjusting the way they were attached so that her arm was looping through his. Like how he used to watch Bucky walk with the ladies to the clubs. A reminder that she was by his side, she would always be by his side. Something he appreciated and was finally beginning to trust in again.

"You were in London during the war, right?" Even though she knew the answer to the question, he still answered it as if she didn't,

"For a bit with the SSR and the Commandos." The real prompt came after his answer, the first question just being a lead in,

"Tell me about it." He knew he had told her stories about London before, even without giving a specific location. Though it was different this time, he realized, because this time it was him telling Q. Not him telling Agent Proctor of SHIELD.

Throughout the years, there had been plenty of moments like that during the course and growth of their relationship. Whenever he could pinpoint a specific moment when it happened, the warmth in his sternum grew. His love for her grew; she wanted to hear his stories again and again. She wanted him to know there was a difference. She wanted him. She loved him.

So just like he had done countless times before, he told her the stories he had told her before. Telling them felt different, less like he was reciting stories and more like he was bringing her into the moment. Her reactions were more genuine and often at different points in the stories than they had been before. There were no pens or pads of paper or graphs or charts, just the two of them walking through London and reminiscing of days past.

"Thank you for coming with me," he murmured softly into her hair. They were standing on the platform in one of the passenger capsules of the London Eye. It was where Q had been intending to take them in an effort to get Steve out of his head. And he had to admit it worked.

The wheel slowly rotated up and around, giving them a perfect view of the city at night. The two of them were the only ones in the capsule, allowing for there to be a private moment for them to share. Something that hadn't happened often. With him standing with her in front of him - his arms wrapped around her midsection as she rested against him.

"Wouldn't be anywhere else." she responded without pause. Before, he would've struggled to believe her, but at that moment, and after the last few days, there was no doubt in his mind that she meant it. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head then, when she leaned her head back to look at him, gave her a loving kiss against her lips.

The next day came all too quick, yet way too slow. Steve would've liked to say that getting out of the hotel with Q and having a mini, semi-spontaneous adventure was enough to distract him, but he spent the majority of the night lying awake in bed. Staring at the ceiling as if his memories of a past life with Peggy were playing above him. Like a home movie. A highlight reel of all the times their lives intertwined. All the times he looked at her to see her looking back. All the times she smiled at him or laughed at a joke he said. All the times she advised him, sassed him, or encouraged him. That's all those moments were now: fond memories to look back on when he was missing her. Just like the rest - his mother, brothers, Bucky…

Turning his head, he looked to where Q lightly slept beside him. He hated to think about it, but he wondered when their moments would become nothing more but fond memories. She had been so young when they first met, not even close to thirty then, but while the years passed, she aged like any normal person, he barely changed. He was aging, he knew that much. The serum wasn't some sort of vampire-esque drug. But everything was slowed. Which meant there probably would be a day when…

"No." she cut off his morbid thoughts rather abruptly, "No!" she twisted in the sheets and he went to reach for her to wake her out of her nightmare only to stop when he heard her mumble, "Dawson, you idiot...it's organized by year…" he tried not to smile at the plainness of her dream, grateful for it. Shifting closer, he maneuvered Q onto his chest as gently as he could, but still she woke just long enough to realize what was happening and mutter, "I love you," before letting sleep take over again. He smiled to himself, deciding not to focus on the tragedy that might one day come in losing her too, but instead of the hopeful future the two could have together. He let those dreams project themselves onto the ceiling above the bed until morning came.

Dressed in similar tones of black, he, Q and Sam all arrived to the beautiful cathedral a little early. Q adjusted his tie a bit just to have something to do with her hands before smoothing out the long, flowy skirt of her dress. The sleeves of it were just as long and billowy and her hair was pulled back from her face with her butterfly hairpin that sparkled against the sunlight that was beginning to stream through the clouds. They all waited outside until it was time for him to join the rest of the pallbearers. He gave her a quick kiss goodbye and then firmly shook Sam's hand before letting them go into the church - knowing he would soon follow.

The church was packed with both Peggy's loved ones and ones who wanted to pay their respects. She had touched the lives of many, either directly or indirectly, she had made a difference. Left her mark on the world, left it a little better than she found it and Steve could only hope he could do the same. Be remembered for something similar. He had been once before after all.

After carrying Peggy's casket down to the front of the church, Steve took his seat next to Q in one of the first pews. She gave him a sympathetic smile, reaching out to wipe away a tear from his cheek that he hadn't even realized escaped. Then her hand immediately moved to intertwine with his. Reminding him that she was there and he could hold onto her for as long as he needed. She would keep him afloat. Rescue him if he were drowning. He sure felt like he was. This was the hardest part. This made it real and certain.

Though the feeling was replaced by a slight surprise when he saw Sharon step up to the podium to say a few words. She had been introduced as Peggy's grand-niece, a connection Steve hadn't even realized until right then and there. There was no feeling of betrayal that came with the surprise, mostly because she had never told him she wasn't Peggy's grand-niece. And all in all, it made sense.

The clues were all there for him, some more obvious than others: mentions of her aunt, staying in D.C. despite SHIELD collapsing, and the more he reflected on the connection, the more he realized their personalities were similar. Strong and confident, leaders in their roles and never ones to let him get away with anything.

"She had a photograph in her office. Aunt Peggy standing next to JFK. As a kid, that was pretty cool." Sharon smiled fondly at the memory she and Peggy shared, "But it was a lot to live up to. Which was why only a few people knew we were related." her eyes met Steve's, as if apologizing for something she needn't apologize for. He took in a breath and gave her a slight nod of understanding and forgiveness, then glanced over to Q who had an apologetic smile on her face - even though she was in the same boat. The Kate lie was much bigger than a last name. And it was so long ago, it didn't even matter anymore. He gave her hand a reassuring squeeze and then let her lay her head against his shoulder for the rest of Sharon's speech in honor of her late aunt.

"I asked her once how she managed to master diplomacy and espionage in a time when no one wanted to see a woman succeed at either. She said, compromise where you can. But where you can't, don't. Even if everyone is telling you that something wrong is something right. Even if the whole world is telling you to move... it is your duty to plant yourself like a tree...look them in the eye and say: No, you move." The words rang deep and true in Steve. Especially in the current situation he was being pulled between: deciding whether or not to sign the Accords. But Sharon's story was almost like a reminder from Peggy from beyond the grave, telling him that he should stand his ground. That he was doing the right thing, despite everyone saying different. Somehow, she still always having some sort of sage advice for him, even after all this time.

After the service, while the rest of the funeral attendees went to the graveyard behind the church, Steve stayed inside to have a moment to himself. To reflect on what had happened and what was going to happen. Come to accept that even if Peggy was gone, she still lived on through her family, through memories and shared stories.

The heavy door of the church creaked as someone entered the otherwise empty building. Half expecting it to be Q, he was pleasantly surprised to see Natasha walking down the aisle to meet him. He didn't even know she had come; he hadn't seen her during the service. She took her place across from him, dressed in a long black trench coat that had pockets she could slip her hands into and adapt a casual stance that matched his. One that tried and failed to hide the concern behind her eyes.

"When I came out of the ice, I thought everyone I had known was gone." he started in place of a greeting. There was no need for pleasantries with them, they knew each other well enough nowadays, "Then I found out she was alive…" he trailed off and looked to the framed photograph that was placed at the altar. Her SSR headshot. Frozen in time, just like he had been at one point, "I was just lucky to have her." he remembered the day Fury called him. Hell, finding out Peggy was alive was the catalyst to him meeting Q. She was the reason he had found a reason to live again, to love again. He owed her twice over.

"She had you back, too." Nat reminded him, causing him to think of how special it must've been for Peggy to have him back again after losing him for so long. He ducked his head down and let his jaw clench just enough to stop the tears from escaping, "We have what we have when we have it." she nodded as Steve began to unravel the phrase. The meaning was deeper than she let on and while he was appreciative of her coming to pay her respects, he knew there was an underlying reason she was there,

"Who else signed?" he got back to business, understanding her true motives of being at the service. She was smart enough to understand what he was referencing to.

"Tony, Rhodey, Vision." she answered clinically, leaning back against the pews. Those he assumed would sign.

"Clint?" Even if Clint had gone on paternity leave, the Avenger was still required to sign the Accords just in case he ever decided to come back.

"Says he's retired." Her answer confirmed that Clint had decided to stay on his farmhouse with his family and simple life. Something to be desired by Steve.

"Wanda?"

"TBD." Nat sighed with a toss of her curls over her shoulder, "Dawson and I are off to Vienna for the signing of the Accords. There's plenty of room on the jet." she raised her eyebrows hopefully, ignoring Steve's little grin at how she dropped Dawson's name. Hearing that Dawson agreed with the Accords threw him for a loop - he just couldn't picture him being for complete government control. But maybe there was a different reason he had missed, "Just because it's the path of least resistance doesn't mean it's the wrong path." she pointed out in a last ditch attempt to get him to change his mind, "Staying together is more important than how we stay together." he lifted his head to make eye contact with her,

"What are we giving up to do it?" The question was rhetorical. It was plainly laid out as to what they were giving up. Too much. She gave him a sad smile, understanding that he had made his choice, "I'm sorry, Nat. I can't sign it." he shook his head, arms crossing over his chest. He knew what it meant, what would come from the decision to not sign.

"I know." she nodded, accepting his decision easily. Making him believe that she might've just come to the funeral just to be there for him. As a friend. Something he was grateful for her doing. Stepping forward to close the space between them, she gestured to him, "Come here." she opened her arms up for a hug, pulling him close and letting him relax in her arms. She wasn't an enemy. She was a friend.

A little while later, after Natasha left for Vienna and he had rejoined Q and Sam in the graveyard, he found himself at the local pub celebrating Peggy's life. After talking with people from all different walks of life and hearing their stories about Peggy, the immense feeling of loss began to gently fade away. At least for a little bit. His conversation with Natasha reminded him of the decisions he had made before the funeral and the consequences that he now had to deal with.

Sam's glass clinked against Steve's, the men making eye contact as Sam cheered, "Here's to an honorable discharge." Then both of them took healthy sips of their bourbon. It wasn't Steve's first choice, but he figured he owed Sam a drink after everything.

"You sure you're okay with this?" Steve followed up with a question he should've asked earlier. Sam had also agreed to not sign the Accords - feeling the same way Steve felt about it. That, and he was unsure how long it was going to be before the United Nations lojacked them like a bunch of common criminals.

"Ah, I'm not worried about me. I make a great civilian." He was right; he had more time actively living in the modern world as a veteran than Steve did. Steve barely had two years under his belt what with SHIELD, then the Avengers and everything in between. But now he had the chance to be one, if he wanted to. Something Sam pointed out with words and then a gesture of his glass toward where Q and Sharon were talking across the pub.

Almost like she knew she was being mentioned, Q glanced over to where he and Sam were standing. The two made eye contact and she gave Steve a soft smile, then turned back to her conversation with Sharon.

Excusing himself from his conversation with Sam, Steve finished off the rest of his bourbon then went to the bar to get himself and Q a drink. The two women were still talking when he stepped up to them, only to pause so they could greet Steve. Q leaned over to give him a quick hello kiss, then eagerly accepted one of the half pints of beer from him. She moved so she could still see both Steve and Sharon, ending up next to the other woman and Steve standing across from both of them.

"So I have a question," Steve set it up while Q took a healthy sip of her beer, "when you were spying on me from across the hall -"

"You mean when I was doing my job?" Sharon cut in to defend herself while Q groaned in annoyance at the conversation topic. He smirked, but didn't acknowledge the correction otherwise,

"Did Peggy know?" he asked seriously. Sharon took a breath and then shook her head,

"She kept so many secrets. I didn't want her to have one from you." she made a face as if dismayed by the thought of having to be the one to tell Peggy to keep a secret from him. He gave her a grateful smile, happy to know that.

"CIA have you stationed over here now?" he changed the subject, having last remembered her getting a position with the CIA after SHIELD fell, but hadn't heard anything since. And he hadn't run into her in DC the last few times he had been there so he figured she went international.

"Berlin." she corrected him with a nod. Then a knowing smile came over her face as she looked to Q, "Working for the joint terrorism taskforce." she explained before throwing her arm over Q's shoulder as if she were a teammate, "And I'm very excited to have this one join the team." she grinned excitedly, not noticing Q's grimace at the unexpected touch. Steve almost missed it as well, the revelation that Q had gotten the job throwing him off more than he expected it to.

"Wait, you got the job?" he motioned to his girlfriend with his beer. She nodded a bit, lips rolling in as a nervous look came over her face.

"You didn't tell him yet?" Sharon looked in between the two, arm sliding off from around Q's shoulders.

"No, I mean, yes, I mean -" Q took in a breath, putting her hand out a bit to motion to who she was talking to so there wouldn't be any confusion. Her hand motioned to Steve, "Yes, I got the job," a quick flick to Sharon, "No, I didn't tell him yet." Then she paused and glanced back to Steve, "But I guess this is me telling you now." she bit down her lip and let her eyes dart in between Sharon and Steve, then back to Sharon who got the hint pretty easily.

"I'm gonna go get another drink." she hastily excused herself to leave the couple alone to talk. Once she was gone, Steve's attention returned to Q, who still looked both guilty and nervous. Before Steve could ask why she didn't tell him, she filled in the blanks,

"I got the email the same time Ross came to the compound, and then there was the whole Accords thing, and then Peggy...and...it just wasn't the right time." she grimaced a bit, looking guilty even though she shouldn't, "I'm sorry, Steve, I meant to tell you." he nodded a bit and then reiterated the main point.

"But you got the job." he raised his eyebrows up, hoping the answer was still yes. She nodded in confirmation, which made him grin. His shoulders relaxed and he let out a bit of laugh, "Queenie, that's...amazing. I knew you would." he moved to wrap one arm around her waist so he could pull her into a tight hug, "I'm so happy for you." he congratulated her with words and a quick kiss to the cheek.

"Yeah?" she kept her arms around his neck, afraid to let go because he might take it back,

"A hundred percent." he assured her while stepping back to give her a full kiss, "Are you going to take it?" he asked an important follow up question.

"Do you think I should?" she answered with a question, letting him decide something he had no business in deciding. He shook his head, relaying the message,

"It's up to you. If you want it, take it." she placed her hands on his shoulders, already having so many details they needed to work out.

"But what about us? And the Avengers and all the Accords stuff?" One answer could be used for both of her questions.

"I'm not signing the Accords, Q, I can't." he shook his head a bit, staying firm in his decision, "So maybe I'll take some time off." he raised his eyebrows up with a bit of a face, one that surprised her - enough for her to let out an amused laugh and give him a smile to match,

"When was the last time there wasn't a uniform hanging in your closet?" she made a good point, but he couldn't help but tease.

"Why? You don't like the outfit?" A smirk came over her face as she moved her hand behind his head to tug at the short hairs on the back of his neck,

"Oh, you know how much I love those outfits. They suit you." she leaned forward a bit more, "Believe me." she murmured with a wry grin. He grinned a bit, moving to give her a quick kiss.

"We'll figure it out." he settled on, knowing right then and there was not the time nor the place to be having such a conversation, "But if you want the job, you should take it." she grinned at him, pleased by his reaction.

"Then I'll take it." she nodded once, firmly, enough to let both of them know she had made her decision and was sticking to it.

"Alright then, Agent." he stressed teasingly, making her laugh a little before moving in to kiss him. He was really proud of her. She wanted this, needed it, in order to begin to feel more like herself again. And after everything that she had gone through, she deserved something to go her way. He was more than happy to follow her to Berlin, if need be.

"Steve," Sam's serious voice got them to pull apart and look over to their friend. His expression matched his tone, "There's something you gotta see." Right before their very eyes, Steve shifted into Captain mode: posture straightening, face setting into a serious expression, and moving away from his girlfriend to follow Sam over to the television screens above the bar.

All the screens had switched from whatever football match had been on to either an international news channel or a national news channel. Not that it mattered; they were saying the same thing: the United Nations complex in Vienna had just been bombed.

A/N: Oooooh man! We're getting in it now folks! I hope you enjoyed this chapter even if it just set up a lot of what was coming. So much emotional turmoil tho! So much angst! Ugh! Please let me know your thoughts - I'd really really like to get to 1k reviews sometime soon haha. I love you all so much for reading!