A/N: 1. Warning! Rated M for explicit content ahead. Readers discretion advised.
2. Once again, this is my first attempt at writing this kind of scene. I'm not sure where the line between not enough/too much is, but I did my best. Let me know what you think on the comments! ;)
"[...] or else let her be mine
and mine alone."
The cold nocturnal air helped soothing Frollo's mind. However, his heart was pumping so hard inside his chest, that he was afraid she would hear it. Esmeralda was walking as fast as her foot allowed her, still holding his hand. They were both silent, as if they didn't want to break the moment, and this was just an unavoidable pause.
What are you doing? A small voice inside Esmeralda's head kept asking. Even after everything that had happened, for a moment it seemed completely unbelievable that she was walking by the Minister of Justice's side, heading to his palace, with such intention in mind. If her past self could watch her now, she wouldn't believe her eyes. However, she was absolutely sure of two things. First, that her past self was dead, gone forever. And second, that she liked her new self better. She felt more herself than ever. He had helped her face her true feelings and desires, and now she was determined to fulfill them. He had seen her dark side and had stayed by her side, and she had the feeling that he liked her even more because of that, instead of despite it.
What are you doing? A small voice inside Frollo's head kept asking. Even after everything that had happened, for a moment it seemed completely unbelievable that he was walking by the gypsy dancer's side, heading to his palace, with such intention in mind. If his past self could watch him now, he wouldn't believe his eyes. However, he was absolutely sure of two things. First, that his past self was dead, gone forever. And second, that he liked his new self better. He felt more himself than ever. She had helped her face his true feelings and desires, and now he was finally ready to give himself permission to fulfill them. She had seen the light in him and had fought to bring it to the surface, even when he had attempted to bury it under his fear and insecurity again. She had seen his weakness and chosen to stay by his side anyway.
They were both baffled, nervous and scared. But they were sure.
They entered the palace silently, and climbed the stairs slowly so their footsteps wouldn't be heard. When they reached the top floor, they stopped for a second, and exchanged a doubtful glance. Your chamber or mine?
But Esmeralda headed towards his room, with a secret desire to lay in his bed again, the bed where he slept, and also where he had spent sleepless nights fantasizing about having her. It excited her to imagine Judge Claude Frollo turning in his sheets, unable to relax because of his burning desire for her. Her chamber was barely hers, but that was the room he had slept for the past twenty years, his refuge. She wanted to become a part of that.
Frollo followed her without question. He closed the door behind them and locked it. The fireplace was lit, as the servants always left it before he went to bed. While he was making sure the door was properly locked, she walked towards the flames, to warm herself.
He walked slowly towards her illuminated figure, with a flashback of her naked body also illuminated by the flames. He felt his throat dry and swollen, as an impending thirst took over him. But he was blocked, he didn't know what his next moves should be. She hadn't said a word during the whole walk there… maybe she was having second thoughts?
But then Esmeralda looked at him and he was certain that she wasn't. Her stare was so powerful and compelling, his body walked towards her on its own. But when he was about to lean in and kiss her, she took a step back.
- Sit there. - she asked him, pointing towards the armchair.
He looked confused, but obliged her request.
She smiled enigmatically and removed the green scarf she was wearing around her hip, over her purple skirt.
She then walked to him and climbed on his lap, the exact same way she had done at the festival.
He was shocked, realizing what she was doing.
Sure enough, she threw the scarf behind his head, and surrounding his neck with it, she pulled him closer like she did that day. She leaned in, until their eyes were inches away.
- Here we are again. - she whispered hoarsely.
Frollo was finding it hard to breathe. He had dreamed about that day over and over, recalling her weight on his legs, her warmth next to his body, her playful tempting gaze, and each time his blood had boiled with the frustration of her getting away, proving she was only teasing him. It had been that same frustration what had drove him absolutely mad and sent him in a rampant search for her, just to get her back to where she was just now standing. Where she belonged.
- What now?- he asked, hardly able to produce any sound.
- I was hoping you'd tell me. - Esmeralda answered with a crooked smile.- What would you have liked to happen next?
- I wanted… I want you. - he whispered, unable to hold her gaze.
- Then… - she replied, lowering her face to look him in the eye again. - Take me.
He didn't think it twice.
His hands moved from the arms of the chair to grab her hips. He moved closer to the edge of the seat, and pulled her body against his. She surrounded his waist with her legs, squeezing her knees to get a better grip of his back. Frollo grunted when he felt her thighs at his sides. His hands moved up her back and he pressed her chest against him as well.
Esmeralda leaned in to meet his lips. She grabbed his neck with both hands, as she dove deep into his mouth. Their tongues started battling for space. He tasted her sweet flavor and it drove him crazy. He stopped for a second to catch his breath, but her accelerated breathing only made it harder.
Harder, indeed. She felt a growing hardness between her thighs, and involuntarily, she pressed herself against it, which made Frollo gasp loudly. He then grabbed her legs firmly and got up from the chair, lifting her whole body in the air.
- Wow! - Esmeralda exclaimed, startled at his surprising strength. - Don't let go!- she begged, with a nervous laugh.
- I'm never letting you go, woman. - Frollo replied in her ear with a low, velvety voice.
He walked to the bed and placed her carefully there. He then removed his outer layer of heavy robes, that were becoming suffocating as the heat inside him increased.
- Hmm… it's only fair. - she affirmed, taking her hands to the buttons on her white shirt.
Though the room was dark, the reflections from the flames reached the bed and painted the whole scene in a glowing orange light that only made her caramel skin look even more beautiful, as if it was covered in golden dust.
Frollo felt an automatic impulse to look away, to grant her privacy. He internally laughed at himself immediately after, equally delighted and nervous to realize that she wanted him to watch her. So he looked again, as she bared her upper half. She let the shirt fall over the edge of the bed with a graceful movement that made her hair move and fall to her front, partially covering her neck and shoulders. Frollo's eyes followed its movement and then traveled down to her breasts. He observed amazed how her dark nipples hardened under his gaze.
Esmeralda carefully watched Frollo's expression as he allowed himself to pause and look at every inch of her skin. She saw the admiration and desire in his eyes and it turned her on even more. She knew the judge had never been with a woman before, and she felt proud of herself when she realized she was exceeding his expectations.
- Come here with me. - she pleaded, making room in the bed for him to sit beside her.
He did, and their lips met again. She noticed that his hands were much more careful now that her skin was exposed, as if he didn't dare to touch her. She accepted the challenge, determined to make him abandon all his restraints. So she kissed him deeply, avidly, stroking his tongue with hers, biting on his lower lip while moaning softly.
Frollo felt he was losing his mind. Her sudden hunger for him was fueling the scorching intensity of his inner fire, and suddenly he lost awareness of what he was doing. Before he knew it, he had pushed her down so she would lay on her back, and he was laying on top of her, his hands traveling free through her chest, her waist and her belly.
Esmeralda was writhing in pleasure, feeling his gentle but firm grip on her breasts, as she lifted her hips to feel the hardness between Frollo's legs. The man had never been so attractive to her as he was now, finally releasing his burning passion free. If his usual cold composure was appealing and magnetic to her, this was awakening a whole new level of desire, that she had never felt before. She wanted him so badly, that her own skin seemed to be an obstacle between them.
But then, his hand journeyed ever further down her hips and met the edge of her skirt. Frollo suddenly stopped, regaining his awareness. He was paralyzed, and he pulled away from her kiss. She emitted a soft moan of complaint.
- What is it? - Esmeralda asked, concerned.
- I… I can't- Frollo mumbled, with a strangled voice.
He rolled to her side and laid on his back, looking at the ceiling, still with an accelerated breathing.
She quickly turned to him, placing a hand on his chest.
- Hey, it's okay. - she reassured him. - What's wrong?
But Frollo was frozen. His mind had intervened abruptly in the middle of his animal instincts, to harshly remind him that he didn't know what he was doing. He had never allowed himself to take part in any kind of activity if he wasn't sure he would excel at it. He was a very intelligent man, so he was used to excelling in everything he attempted to do. And though it may not looked like it, he had always been a strong, healthy man too. He had been the only one able to control his horse, to manage the beast's strength and power and subdue it. But this was different. Nor his mind neither his physical qualities could help him succeed at this. He needed a specific set of skills, a set of skills that he knew next to nothing about. He wasn't ready. He knew the basics about human reproduction, but he had no clue how to please a woman, how to properly touch her body to make her enjoy the experience. And he was pretty sure that Esmeralda had been with other men before him. The single thought made him sick, not because of her, but because he was terrified to be compared to them and lose.
- Claude. - she insisted, getting worried at his lack of response.
He just couldn't do it. He was an idiot, he scolded himself. He should have done some research in the matter, read some books, something! But the truth is, he had never actually believed that he would really get to the situation where he would need that kind of knowledge. Up until now, deep down, he had always believed that Esmeralda would eventually wake up from her stupor and realize that he was an old man with nothing to offer. But somehow, miraculously, her attraction towards him had proven to be real, and now he was going to let her down. If he stopped now, she would be terribly dissapointed. But if he kept going, he would demonstrate her that he was utterly inexperienced and unskilled and she would be dissapointed too. There was no way out.
- Claude! - she yelled, softly hitting his chest with her palm. - Are you okay? - she asked, filled with worry.
- I'm sorry. - he murmured at last. - I'm so sorry.
- What's going on? - she demanded to know.
- I can't- he repeated. - I should go. Or… you should go. - he corrected himself, realizing they were in his own room.
- What…? - she asked, hurt. - You… you want me to leave?
- No, but… - he hesitated, and he sounded like he was at the verge of tears.
- Claude, please. - she said, kneeling beside him, and covering herself with a sheet. - Tell me what's troubling you. I want to help.
But Frollo looked away from her, unable to hold her inquiring gaze. He couldn't tell her. Telling her would be as bad as showing her his lack of skill. But he also realized that if he didn't say what was on his mind, she would feel like he was rejecting her.
- I don't want you to leave. - he insisted, answering her previous question.
- Then I won't. - she reassured him, getting closer.
- But you will. - he affirmed darkly. - Maybe not now, but… - his voice cracked, unable to say his next words; "but once you realize the truth about me, you will."
- Is that what this is about? - Esmeralda asked, beginning to understand. - You're worried that I'm gonna leave you?
Frollo didn't respond, too ashamed to even nod with his head. But his silence was enough of a confirmation for her. Esmeralda blew loudly, suddenly furious.
- You're unbelievable! - she accused him, reaching down to get her shirt back, and putting her arms on the sleeves, though she left the front unbuttoned.- What else do you want from me?
- What? - Frollo asked, puzzled.
- What else do I need to do to prove you can trust me?
- This isn't about you! - he tried to justify himself. - I trust you.
- No, you don't! You can't even tell me what's wrong! - she replied, angrily.
Frollo bit his lower lip, feeling the tension building up inside him, threatening to take over his mind. He didn't know what to do or what to say, but not doing or saying anything wasn't an option either. She saw the pain and the struggle in his eyes. She observed him silently for a few seconds, and then a wave of compassion soothed her anger. She was irritated at his lack of trust, but she realized that he was the first victim of his self-imposed isolation. He ought to be feeling so alone.
- Claude. - she called, lowering her tone.
He felt the change in her mood and looked at her, to find her emerald eyes looking at him tenderly.
- I want to help you. But I can't always be the one to fight for this, to swallow my feelings so I can help you with yours. You have to meet me halfway. You have to tell me when something's wrong. - she explained, softly.
- You're right. - he said, with a sad tone.
- I know. Look, just now… You know how I feel? I feel so insecure. I feel like you saw me and suddenly something made you stop wanting to be with me.
- God, no. - Frollo protested, raising up in the bed and sitting in front of her. - It's not you. How could it be you? - he said, as if stating the obvious.
- But I don't know that, 'cause you don't tell me. - she replied with a sad smile.- So I tell you how I'm feeling. It's not easy to admit it, you know? But I do it, because I want you to know, I want you to know me. Because I love you.
Frollo's heart stopped at her naturally when she just said those words.
His soul started trembling and he felt a terrifying crack extending rapidly across his inner walls. His mind fought with all its strength to maintain control over him, but she had unleashed an ancient power, an ineffable force that had been dormant inside of him for as long as he could remember, buried in the depths of his core. And now it was awoke, Frollo knew it was only a matter of time until his mind was defeated once and for all.
But for the first time in his life, he didn't care. He didn't care that he was going to lose control, because he felt that there was something even greater awaiting him at the other side. And he couldn't wait to reach it.
His hands grabbed Esmeralda's surprised face and pulled her closer almost violently. He kissed her desperately, as if her mouth held the only air left in the world. He leaned backwards, dragging her alone. Her breasts were pressed onto his chest, and he realized he wanted to feel her skin, so his hands left her face to search for the end of his thin inner robe. She separated herself from him to allow him some space, and asked:
- Are you sure you want to…?
- Shut up.- he ordered, with a crooked, meaningful smile.
- Yes, Sir. - she responded quickly, and she rushed to help him remove his clothes.
The last remaining bit of his insecurity rose again when she took of his robe and left him completely naked. He anxiously watched her expression, but she wasn't examining his body. Esmeralda was smart enough to fight her eagerness to explore his whole body. She had noticed Frollo's insecurity, and her priority now was to make him feel as badly wanted as she actually wanted him. So she rushed to his lips again, while removing her own shirt so they would be skin on skin.
Frollo was relieved to feel her urgency, though slightly concerned that she hadn't even taken a peek at the rest of his body. Maybe she was afraid she wouldn't like the view? But then he felt her hand reaching down while she kissed him deeply, and as she softly grabbed his manhood, she let out a small surprised gasp. He felt immediately better, and any trace of his insecurity was gone at last.
With a renewed impulse, he clasped her legs with his, and grabbing her neck, he rolled to the side to get above her.
She smiled at him playfully, biting her lower lip.
He smiled back with a devilish grin and he took both of her wrists and placed them above her head, holding them together with the strong grip of his left hand, while his right hand moved under her waist and rose her lower back to press her against himself.
She played along, pretending to resist him, twisting her body to get away from his grip. He pressed his hips harder against her, and she moaned loudly. He lowered his head to her neck and kissed her under the ear, feeling her accelerated pulse on his lips. The tip of his tongue slid down slowly, making her shiver with pleasure and need. He reached the hollow spot at the base of her neck and impulsively bit her.
Esmeralda let out a loud cry, and began rubbing her hips against his hardness, desperately wanting to feel every inch of it.
- God, Claude, take it off- she begged, and without hesitation, Frollo ripped away her skirt, while she shook her legs to remove it completely.
Finally, they both thought at once. There were no clothes left, nothing between them but burning skin.
The mood suddenly changed, as they both felt the sacredness and importance of this moment. Frollo released her hands, placing his on both sides of her head to be able to hold himself above her and look at her face.
She held his gaze, while her hands slowly traveled from his shoulders down his back.
But then, an unexpected wave of sadness hit her hard, as if she suddenly knew with absolute certainty that she was going to lose him. Her breathing began to accelerate again, but Frollo could tell something was off.
- Are you okay? - he whispered.
- Yes. - she nodded quickly, but her eyes betrayed her when they started to tear up. - No. - she admitted. - I'm afraid.
- Oh – he said, unsure what to do. He moved away a little, but he felt her fingers holding on to his waist, asking him to stay put. - We don't have to…
- No. - she interrupted him. - It's not that.
She sighed, frustrated, fighting the tears that wanted to escape her eyes. This is so stupid, she scolded herself internally.
- What then? - Frollo asked kindly.
But she was too embarrassed to admit it out loud. She was afraid that once he had quenched his thirst for her body, he would realize that she was not that big of a deal. She would never be as intelligent, or well-read as he was. She knew nothing about so many things, and she didn't fit in in his world. She had always felt like she had the upper hand nevertheless because she held the seductive power in her hands. But what would happen once he had conquered his goal? How long until he realized she actually didn't have much else to offer?
She suddenly was certain that once she surrendered herself to him, the countdown to losing him would start running. She felt like a fraud, a cheater who had lured him into her spell only to be caught later, being just not enough. She couldn't stand the thought that someday, he would stop looking at her like that. The way he looked at her had helped her feel real for the first time in her life, and she wasn't ready to give that up.
- Is this payback? - Frollo tried to joke, nervously, referring to his moment of doubt earlier. But Esmeralda couldn't laugh.
She had her eyes closed, so he wouldn't see into her soul like she knew he could do. She felt the urge to run, run away and never look back. To keep the memory and live from it, instead of risking losing it forever.
She opened her eyes, intending to carve every single detail of Frollo's face into the deepest part of her heart, where neither time nor oblivion could erase it.
But then, as she was focusing on his piercing eyes, something started to happen. Maybe it was just a visual effect, because of the darkness and the reflection of the flames on him… But it looked as if his features were fading, as if the whole scene was getting blurry, except for his eyes, that suddenly became brighter.
She inhaled sharply, blinking repeatedly, but the image remained the same. The whole room was vanishing, and only his eyes were clear and sharp. He didn't look like Frollo anymore. He didn't look like anybody.
He was just there, a pure presence. And she felt like she recognized that presence from a long, long time ago. As if they had spent lifetimes finding each other, and loving each other every time. But it was even more than that. She felt like there was no separation between him and herself. Like they were just one essence, and she knew him the same way she knew her own insides.
And then she realized the love she felt for him had always been there, not only since the festival, but always. Even when she didn't know him, she loved him. Short of breath, she realized that the emptiness she had always felt wasn't because of her parent's abandonment, but because somehow, she was missing him. As if they had been made to be together, and her soul just knew, even if she hadn't met him yet. But the craziest part was that, as she dove deep into his gaze, she suddenly knew with absolute certainty that he felt the same way. And she understood then the absolute madness he must have felt when he thought he was going to lose her, and maybe never see her again. Because she was feeling it right now at the perspective of losing him too. The terror was so intense that she could have burned down entire cities in the blink of an eye, just to ensure it didn't come true.
- Esmeralda? - he asked, cautiously.
The spell was broken and she snapped back to reality. His features appeared again, his face above hers, and his body at her hand's reach. His eyes were filled with worry and confusion. But hers were finally calmed. For she had realized that whatever they were to each other, it went way beyond their physical selves. The age difference, the social status difference, or how many books she had read, none of it mattered at all. They belonged together. It all made sense now, even if she couldn't understand it rationally.
She had felt empty her entire life, and now she knew why, all that mattered was that she wanted to be filled by him, in every way possible.
So, with a triumphant smile, she grabbed his hips again and pulled him towards her, and finally, his manhood reached her entrance.
Frollo gasped loudly, caught off guard. He was paralyzed, feeling her warmth and softness against his most sensitive skin.
He threw her an inquiring look, to make sure she wanted it. In response, she took his face between her hands and pulled him forward to kiss him again. He drank from her lips, and his body started to move involuntarily, his hips going back and forth as he slid between her legs, gliding over her entrance and her folds. She accompanied his movements with her own hips, increasing the pressure and rhythm.
Their breathing turned into panting, and their kiss became erratic, almost animal. He leaned closer, and began kissing her neck again, and she took the chance to whisper in his ear:
- I want you, Claude. Take me – she begged.
He didn't need to hear it twice. In a delicate move, he raised his hips to adjust his position, and slowly started pushing down. If her outside was warm, her inside was burning like hellfire. And like hellfire, it was torture to restrain his movements to remain gentle.
But Esmeralda was so wet at this point that she felt no trace of discomfort at all, even when his size was challenging to take in. She moved her hips upward to help him access her fully. He retired a little, and then pushed again all the way in.
They both moaned loudly when they felt their bodies fitting so perfectly, and every nervous termination screamed in pleasure.
They smiled at each other, almost laughing in relief that, after all the struggle, they were finally together. There was nothing standing between them anymore. They were literally one.
They kissed again, and their instincts took over. There was nothing left to think, nothing left to wonder, nothing left to fear. They were just two human souls inside two human bodies, desperate for each other.
If Frollo had ever worried that he wouldn't know what to do, now it all seemed so stupid. His body knew exactly what to do.
They found a common rhythm, slow at first to feel every single movement, and then gradually faster, as the intensity of their passion grew. Their respective groaning only fueled their desire to insane levels.
Soon, Frollo felt the pressure accumulating and he fought the urge to go faster. He didn't want this moment to end. He wanted it to last forever. But apparently, the long wait his body had had to endure to get to this moment came with a price.
Esmeralda felt his sudden change of speed and opened her eyes, previously closed in ecstasy.
- What's wrong? - she asked, hoarsely.
- Nothing's wrong. - he explained, catching his breath. - I just need to slow down… - he said, embarrassed.
- Please don't- she begged, understanding what he didn't say- Let it happen.
- But I… - he began, but his protest was shut by a deep, passionate kiss. His body responded immediately, eager to let go.
- We have all our lives ahead. - Esmeralda whispered, breaking out from the kiss and displaying a tempting smile. - Let go. - she pleaded firmly.
He still hesitated. So she played her last card.
- Claude, I need you to take me. Now.
Her demanding tone finally threw him over the edge. She needed him. The man with the iron constraint, who had lived in chains his entire life, felt said chains starting to crumble down under the intensity of his desire and his love for the woman below him. And then, the words his mother had told him during his near death experience reverberated in his head "Anyone can die for love… but can you live for love?"
And he realized the answer was yes. Yes, he was ready to live, in all its beautiful, terrifying, uncontrollable meaning.
So he let go of his control.
He felt his body bursting with relief, as it began to pick up the speed again. Esmeralda grabbed on to him, grasping his shoulders to not get thrown away by the intensity of his assaults.
She lost control as well. The utter physical pleasure added to the indescribable emotion of feeling him claim her as his. She surrendered herself with a scream, and felt her eyes rolling inside her head while massive electric waves rushed throughout her entire body.
Frollo felt her inner spasms and it was the last thing he perceived before an uncontrollable surge emerged from his core, taking over his whole being. He gave into the current, and with some final pushes, all his inner walls bursted open, exploding into a million pieces, releasing his essence inside of her, filling her up to the brim.
She felt his explosion and her own receding waves of pleasure came flooding back. She dug her nails deep into his flesh and cried his name.
Frollo had never heard a more glorious music that the sound of her strangled voice calling him in between cries of ecstasy.
When the intensity of their climax finally started to decrease, they both searched for each other's eyes.
- God… - Esmeralda mumbled, light headed.
Frollo couldn't help to feel proud of himself when he saw the state she was in. Esmeralda saw the smug, self-sufficient grin that appeared on his face and bursted out laughing.
- What? - he asked, suddenly self-conscious again.
- Nothing- she said, still laughing. She leaned forward to kiss him again sweetly. - I just… I love you.
He was once again mesmerized by the sound of those words, words he had never heard addressed at him before that night.
- You do? - he couldn't help but ask, still finding it hard to believe it.
She looked surprised by his doubt.
- Well… yes? - she answered, as if stating the obvious, while gesturing towards her naked body that she had just shared with him.
And then, a brand new smile appeared in Frollo's face, a smile she had never seen before, for it was made of pure, uncontaminated, happiness. He looked suddenly younger, lighter, as if all this time he had been wearing a heavy mask that dulled the glow in his eyes, and he had just taken it off.
- Esmeralda… - he said, still inside her, but placing his weight on his arm so he wouldn't crush her. - I love you too.- he confessed, also saying those words for the first time in his life.
- Oh, I know. - she stated, downplaying it jokingly, though her heart was jumping up and down with joy.
- You clever witch. - he stroke back, and she bursted laughing again, playfully hitting his arm with her palm.
He kissed her again and then slowly exited her body, laying on his side and covering them both with a blanket.
- So… is this what you had in mind? - she asked then, lifting an eyebrow, taking him back to the previous moment at the armchair, and also to the festival.
- Well… pretty much, yes. - he admitted blushing.
- Oh, so that's it? - she teased him, pretending to be disappointed.
- Oh no, woman. - he replied, in a deep low tone, throwing her a devilish smile. - I have only begun.