Author's note: I had the next part finished so thought I'd go ahead and post it. Thanks for the reviews! They're greatly appreciated!

Part 2

His shock allowed her three quick steps away from him before automatic reflexes commanded his hand to grab her arm. Gently stopping her, he tried to turn her around. "No, Harm. No. I know I showed up at your door too late again. I'm not angry with you for moving on... You just have no idea how much it hurts to know that after all this time... what I wanted..." she shakily exhaled, "that I can't give you what you want most," she turned to look at him and he saw her unshed tears threatening to fall. "I want you to find someone who can. I promise," she cleared her throat and continued quietly, "promise to always be your friend. Not sure I can bring myself to watch you create a life and a family with someone else." Her head bowed defeated. "But if Alicia, or whoever, makes you happy, I'll try."

He stared at her in disbelief. Finally, he lifted her chin making her meet his gaze.

"I told you once what I wanted most... I never wanted to lose you and, frankly, now I refuse to," came his quiet response. She closed her eyes.

"You're not going to lose me. I may transfer but if you need..." He cut her off.

"I didn't and don't mean lose you as my friend, Mac. Or as a co-worker for that matter." She rubbed her forehead with her free hand and turned away. She didn't want a repeat of what she'd dubbed the "Failed Porch Plea Negotiation".

"Let's put that on the list of top things you probably should avoid saying to your girlfriend." He clinched his jaw again and took the steps necessary to come face to face with her again.

"Alright, Colonel. We're going to set one thing straight. Then you're going to get a shower so you are no longer sticky." She set her jaw, squared her shoulders, and glared at him. "Understood?"

"Well, by all means Commander," she growled no longer attempting to hide her caustic, sarcastic tone, "state your case."

"You," he pointed accusingly at her, "assume that because you found Alicia at my apartment one evening, I was acting on interest in her that you assume I had. You didn't ask me. Probably," he crossed his arms, "because you were afraid that I would validate your fears." He silenced her with an up turned hand and the look he earned in response made him swallow hard. "I didn't invite you in before turning off the stove. That was my mistake- a mistake that I tried to remedy by following you out after I made sure the casserole didn't burn. You were already gone. And I tried to address and correct it with my phone calls that went unanswered. Had you have accepted Alicia's invitation, you would have found the dining area littered with Wainwright's case file and a laptop with an outlined summary on how to teach the case in the Trial Practice course Professor Montez is teaching spring semester." She shifted her stance and looked at a distant point between his shoulder and ear.

Reaching for her hand and finding no resistance, he continued in a softened tone. "Remember coming into my office and me introducing you to her?" He shook her hand in a silent request for her to meet his gaze. With a sigh, she acquiesced and her eyes met his anxious gaze. "Remember?" She nodded. "What did she say to you?" She just looked at him.

"I don't remember." He raised his eyebrow.

"Mac." She shifted her weight between her feet and dropped her shoulders lowering her gaze to his chest.

"Fine. I believe," she cocked her head to the side and brought her eyes back to his finding his increasing anxiety shinning back at her. She cleared her throat, "I believe her response to my statement regarding her published paper was 'Ah, so you're the one'." He nodded.

"She wasn't referring to your comment about her paper or even the fact that you had read her paper. She was referring to you." Her brow knitted producing a look between confusion and impatience.

"English, Harm." He rocked back on his heels and looked down.

"She kissed me. When I-" she pulled her hand free and cut him off.

"No. Just stop. I have no desire to hear about your fling." He squinted.

"There wasn't a fling, Mac."

"Really." She said in a disbelieving tone and raised an eyebrow. He crossed his arms.

"If you'd let me finish-."

"By all means."

"She kissed me over dinner during the trial."

"Here we go." She said with exasperation accompanied with an eye roll and turned walking away from him. He merely raised an eyebrow.

"When I didn't return her kiss, she pulled back, apologized and said that since she didn't see a ring and I was there, she'd simply assumed I was single." He paused; she was silent for a beat.

"Well," she said quietly, turning around but not meeting his gaze, "you are." He tilted his head squinting at her before offering a barely noticeable shake of his head.

"Apparently, she thought discussing the case over dinner constituted a date. Who knew? I mean if that's how the attorney dating scene works, we've been dating for an awfully long time, Mac." He paused briefly and she gave him a soft, half smile. "Anyway, I laughed and told her that I was, indeed, not single." He held up a hand stopping her comment, "I'm not. It took me a long time to realize you can't be truly single if you aren't also available. Truthfully, I haven't been "single" in a long time because I'm only available if your name is Sarah Mackenzie. You. Only you..." Seeing her sudden wide eye expression, he let out a small chuckle and shook his head. "That really shouldn't surprise you. I told you at the Admiral's dining out that I wanted to be a part of your life. That I would always be here. It's the truth and, frankly, we need to have a little faith in each other and quit assuming someone is ever going to permanently wedge themselves between us. Many have tried. All have failed. It just isn't going to happen." She fixed him with a stunned, yet assessing look. He reached for and then squeezed her hand, "You disagree?"

"To?" she offered in a whisper still digesting his words.

"Any thing I said." She looked passed his shoulder.

"So you're saying that just because no one sticks around, we're doomed to live out the entirety of our days simply stuck with one another?" She scrunched her nose crossing her arms. He shook his head putting his hands on his hips.

"Apparently, I need to call Bethesda and schedule you a hearing test." She raised her eyebrow. "That was neither what I said nor what I meant and you know it."

"Do I? How about, for once, you bluntly tell me what you actually want from me." He looked around her kitchen.

"What I want doesn't matter if…" She interrupted him.

"That's enough. Tell me what the hell it is you want from me, Harm." He raised an eyebrow but she continued. "Bluntly. Plain English, Commander." Crossing his arms, he backed away from her a few steps and turned from her to again inspect the batter minefield covering her kitchen in silence. He walked toward the food containers on the counter and placed them in the refrigerator. As the door shut, he heard her deeply sigh, "Harm look. I…" He shook his head and turned raising his hands.

"Mac, I've always assumed you knew where I stood. I like to think my actions speak for themselves. But..." She again started to speak and he just shook his head and continued quietly. "But we're at that point again… Crossroads really. We were here in Sydney. We were here right before the Singer thing blew up. We were here before you walked out of my door for Paraguay. ... Right here in that damn stifling hotel room." He put his hands on his hips and looked at the floor. "I hate that this dance we seem to be engaged in continues to bring us to this place. I hate this place and I never want to be here again." Raising his gaze, he was met with a fear in her eyes he'd never seen.

"Harm, I didn't mean to…" She began to plead but he shook his head and gave her a half smile.

"You did. That's okay. You wanted blunt, right? Stated intentions, if I remember correctly, with follow through." She bit her lip. He took a deep breath and reached for her hand. "I want you, Mac. As you are. For the rest of my life." He had to strain to hear her whispered reply.

"But Harm, I can't fulfill our deal." He sighed.

"This is one of those times I wish I had never made that damn deal." Her eyes shot up and her body assume a defensive posture.

Her "Excuse me?" came out with venom.