The following morning, Kakashi everything but runs to HQ. The morning stings the exposed parts of his face. Much to his annoyance, everything feels damp.
The sky is grey. The clouds are grey. There's no sunlight.
He is hurrying because he wants to get out of this shit weather. His morning has been dismal. He wants to see his teammates- or at least, regrettably, he wants to see Michiko.
He wants to see her as she usually is with the team- joking, laughing, whining about feeling tired and complaining about the uniform- so he can tell himself that she is not upset with him and that his actions the day prior were the right thing to do.
Unluckily, he doesn't see Michiko in the changing rooms and she's not in the training field.
Her name isn't marked on the register for the next three days.
It's the last working day of this week and Kakashi feels even worse. It takes more effort for him to repress this guilt.
'She's overreacting.' He bitterly convinces himself, checking his belt for kunai for the third time as he equips himself. His eyes feel swollen and heavy. He convinces himself that the day will be over before he knows it.
I'm so exhausted. Fuck.
His nerves don't go unnoticed, and Tenzo silently appraises his captain from a distance.
Sliding up beside him as they travel to the mission's location, he whispers, "Did you try apologizing?"
Apologizing?
The word is unfamiliar to Kakashi. He ignores his teammate and carries on. Tenzo, knowing Kakashi a little better than the others, relents. He won't give up until his taichou has done the right thing.
The mission turns out to be unnecessarily violent. The young captain of Team Ro does not know how to express his feelings, he does not know how to vent.
He takes it out on the mission.
Hatake Kakashi has a difficult relationship with guilt. It has changed his life in the recent past and ruined his night's sleep. First, his father leaves a gaping black void in his life. Then, Obito and Rin do the same.
He is sharply aware that they are responsible for his complete inability to forge relationships.
Or so he believes.
Michiko sniffs the now stained wrap curiously.
It still smells like him. And it smells like dried blood, but she ignores that.
"You'll have to wash that eventually."
Startled by the voice, Michiko hides the wrap behind her.
Biwako has been standing at her bedroom door for a minute and has already watched Michiko sniff the little embroidered cloth. A corner of it peaks out from behind her, the Uchiwa-fan emblazoned on it in a bold red and white cross-stitch.
"I…You- What?" Befuddled and embarrassed, Michiko blinks stupidly at her aunt.
"The blood will stain permanently if you don't wash it. It's already been three days, Michiko." She holds out a hand, gesturing for the girl to hand it over.
She clenches the wrap nervously and shyly admits, "I… I want to wash it myself."
'My, my...' Thinks Biwako. She has some reservations about the Uchiha but decides not to voice any motherly advice until she knows which Uchiha that wrap belongs to.
Hands on her waist, she turns her head to shout some instructions at Asuma, who is lounging lazily in his own bedroom. His bare-feet on his bed, are visible from where she stands.
"Bring your dirty laundry downstairs now. I am not washing anymore of your filthy mission outfits with our clothing."
She winks at Michiko, who laughingly asks, "Did something happen again?"
"Everything had flecks of dried, brown blood on it. It was disgusting! I don't understand, does this boy bathe himself in blood?"
Biwako has retreated into the hall to go down the stairs, the admonishment floating up distantly. The sound of her feet on the wooden steps is comforting to both Michiko and Asuma, who has emerged from his bedroom. His hair is messy, and Michiko spies a maroon mark on his collarbone.
"Better hide that." She sings teasingly, following her aunt down the steps. He pulls his shirt-collar up, panicking that his mother will spot it.
"What's that in your hands?" Not willing to miss a chance to annoy his cousin in return, he follows close on her heels.
The wooden steps reverberate behind Michiko as Asuma drops his weight on every step. She feels like she is running away from him.
"It's a handkerchief, you uncivilised chimp." She responds smoothly, before leaping off the final steps and dodging her cousin as he tries to grab the little cloth from her hands.
Michiko nearly slides into the wall, quickly sprinting away from him as he, unluckily, is too heavy and the floor too slippery. He smacks into the wall with a dull thud.
The day is chilly, but the sunlight is warming, and as she hangs the wrap up outside to dry. Her mind wanders to the Nakano Shrine.
'It's so pretty.' She whispers, cradling her now-wrapped and injured arm. Shisui is beside her. Their shoulders bump.
Absorbing some of her awe, Shisui stares up at the patron deity and the decorated interior. It is as ancient as the Uchiha clan.
"I never thought about how this might look to a newcomer." He muses, glancing down at Michiko as she drops a coin into one of the offering-jars.
"This isn't the first time I've been here." She responds, closing her eyes and putting her hands together in some sort of prayer.
Curious, Shisui tilts his head and his lips twitch themselves into a boyish smirk. He wants to ask who she has come here with before, but the silence between them is comfortable.
There is a loud knock on the other side of the house and Michiko is brought out of her memory.
"Ko!" Asuma calls, "Kakashi-san is here!" His voice fades away as his mother gives Michiko a perplexed look.
"He must be here to apologize my dear." Biwako gives her niece a motherly, scolding look. "Give him a chance, he is a young man with too many repressed issues."
Annoyed but considerate, Michiko unwillingly obeys.
"Hatake." She greets uncertainly as she steps into the landing. The entrance door is wide open, as it usually is. There is an indoor-plant to the side and a rack for shoes. Kakashi stands outside the door.
He retains his stoic composure, but his hands aren't in his pockets. He looks twitchy.
"Michiko." He starts, "I came here to talk to you. Can you come outside?"
Without waiting for her to reply, he quickly turns on his heel and marches back from the doorway into the lawn.
In the bright light, his hair glimmers a fine silver. Michiko realizes how pale Kakashi is and wonders how often he ventures out into the sun when he's not on missions.
Following him into the grass, she observes that he does in fact look unhealthy; his eyes are lined by dark circles and they look puffy. The outline of his hidden face looks slimmer, his cheeks are sallow.
Is he ill?
"Kakashi…" She calls after him as she pauses to pull her wooden-clogs onto her feet, uncertain of her own words, "Are you feeling alright?"
He regards her cautiously with his visible eye, and then rests on a decorative boulder. Michiko stands a few feet away.
"I'm fine."
Michiko hears the faint uncertainty in his voice. She pushes, "Have you been eating?"
"Yes, Michiko. I'm not here about me."
"But you look ill." She half-pleads, annoyed at his response. Her eyebrows furrow in concern.
"I'm fine. I just came here to tell you that I was rude to you, and my behaviour was uncalled for."
Silence falls between them. Michiko expects him to continue. But he doesn't.
"I already know you were rude." She says pointedly.
Visibly uncomfortable, Kakashi turns his attention to a large silver-bush on his right.
"I mean to say…," He trails off, "I shouldn't have been so rude."
Michiko blinks at him a few times, disbelieving that her captain can be so thick. "Yes. I agree."
"Great. So now that we agree, can you…" He becomes silent again, glancing at the house behind Michiko, at a window just above her head.
Kakashi is struggling with his words. He knows what to say, he knows he should say 'Can you forgive my behaviour?' but the words snag in his throat.
Michiko observes that for the very first time, he has great difficulty glaring at her and ignoring her.
Somewhere behind him, just on the street, concealed behind another one of Biwako's bushes, is a person. This person shakes the bush, as if he were trying to shake some sense into Kakashi.
The sound of the shaking leaves seems to put some spine into the Hatake, but he doesn't say what he should say.
"Can you come back to work now?"
He should say something like 'The team needs you.' Or 'I shouldn't have upset you, I was wrong.' But Kakashi can't stomach the idea of surrendering to his guilt.
Tenzo huffs from his spot in the bushes, feeling furious. He thought his social skills were bad. Kakashi was terrible.
The mokuton-user is aware that the guilt has been eating Kakashi up in Michiko's absence, he still can't grasp why it is so difficult for him to apologize to her.
"Tenzo-san." Michiko's voice calls, breaking him from his reverie, "Come out of the bushes now, please."
Flustered, Tenzo untangles himself and strides clumsily into the lawn.
Michiko looks different. Tenzo can't place his finger on it, so he greets her as usual. "Good to see you, Michiko-chan."
She smiles at him.
"I guess you two don't know…" She starts, clasping her hands in front of her pleasantly, "I took a week's leave. But I'll be back on the team after the weekend." She smiles.
Kakashi nods slowly, understanding her absence.
'I wasn't informed.' He feels irritated again. If he had known, he would not come here. He would not have fussed over her absence. He suddenly feels sullen and regretful.
Tenzo is much more amiable, "That sounds nice. Do you have any plans?"
Michiko shrugs, but her cheeks become dusted with pink. Kakashi spots it easily.
"I might see some friends over the weekend, but not much else except rest."
Tenzo nods.
'I wonder which friend she's blushing about.'
Kakashi can tell this friend is most likely a boy. There is a visible change in Michiko's appearance- her hair has been cut into a bob, in a sleek gradient so that it is longer at the front.
He questions whether she looks more feminine to him now because he is seeing her on her own turf, where she doesn't have to be a kunoichi.
'It suits her.' It takes him a few seconds to formulate the word in his mind, 'Pretty.'
"Why don't you come in and have lunch boys?" Biwako's voice calls from the door-way. The young men exchange uncertain glances, but Michiko chimes in.
"Yes, I think you should eat with us."
She forces a smile at Kakashi that he can tell means something else. With her eyes she's telling him, 'You better eat. I'm going to watch you eat. I'll shove food down your throat.'
Kakashi is privy to her meaning, somehow. With his singular eye, he shoots back 'Try me, monkey.'
Tenzo doesn't spot the exchange of odd looks, he is on a different trail of thought and politely moves to go into the house.
'Can't say no to the sandaime's wife.'