"So," she started while setting down the box in her hands, "You gonna tell me how you found me or are you just gonna keep helping me move in?" her now free hands were placed on her hips in a power stance of sorts. Honestly, she was pretty proud of herself for waiting until they got into her apartment to say anything else on the matter. At the realization that it was actually Steve, she almost dropped the box she had been holding too. She hadn't heard from him in over a month, and certainly wasn't expecting him to show up out of the blue. Questions flowed through her stream of consciousness as she tried to understand why he was in her apartment. Eyes trained on Steve, she watched him set the end table down before slipping out from under the duffel.
Once his hands were free, he reached to take off his baseball cap to run his fingers through his hair. Allowing her to see that it had gotten longer since she last saw him - pairing nicely with the beginnings of his new beard. A thrill went through her at the new look, which she tried to quickly subdue even though she had suddenly become very attracted to him. Apparently being a nomad of sorts who kicked ass did wonders for him.
"Heard you made a deal." he avoided her question with a slight raise of his eyebrows. She matched his expression, only surprised that he knew. The news of her deal was all very hush hush, considering her - and Ross', recovery in Wakanda. To her knowledge, it wasn't made public.
"The terms of which I'm already breaking by talking to you." she pointed out matter of factly. Although she was being monitored through the GPS on her ankle bracelet, she wasn't being watched. So while no one technically knew he was there, they would if her assigned agent were to drop by unexpectedly. Spelling trouble for both of them. He gave her a slight grin,
"At least you're still toeing the line." he teased slightly, calling back to the things she had done for him in D.C. when she wasn't supposed to. Trying not to smile, she rolled her eyes slightly so that her gaze wasn't on him.
"Steven," she refocused on what she was trying to find out. It would be nice to not have to worry about the details, but that couldn't happen. Not if it meant something was coming, which she really hoped wasn't the point of his visit. She was so tired of fighting.
"We...we were in Thailand," he began to explain, "tracking some Chitauri arms dealers and there's this market, the Maeklong Railway Market. Set up under umbrellas, sells fresh seafood, a big tourist spot." he gestured a bit with his hand to set the scene, "Anyway, one day, Wanda and I were wandering through and there was this stall selling little trinkets and jewelry. We stopped for a second so she could look at one of the rings and I caught sight of this...butterfly pendant. And it just reminded me of the hairpin you have, so I…" his hand scratched the side of his beard as he tried to come up with something more concrete than just a feeling. Or admitting that something so simple had made him feel so homesick in the moment, "It reminded me of you." he settled on with a raise of his hand. At the explanation, she subconsciously went to rub at the butterfly earrings she had gotten in Bucharest. She had just begun to wear them again, finding them amongst her things. Still, her features began to soften. There weren't many good things that reminded people of her. Especially at present.
"But how did you find me?" she circled back to her original question. Not that she wasn't happy to see him, or hear that he was thinking about her. If he could find her, then that meant anyone could. Who knew what enemies she still had out there, or enemies of Steve or Bucky's who might try to use her as leverage.
Eyes still on Steve, she crossed the room to where the couch was temporarily placed in the living room area. She folded herself onto one end, tucking one leg underneath her while her arms stayed crossed over her chest. Expectantly looking at him, she made it clear she wanted him to both sit down next to her and to explain himself.
"I called Dawson." he admitted while lowering himself onto the couch. He hung his baseball cap on his knee, then glanced over at her to take in her raised eyebrow reaction.
"Didn't realize you two were on speaking terms again." she commented. The last she remembered he and Dawson were on opposite sides of the Accords, and she was certain he didn't favor him after learning that Dawson was the one in on everything she had done and gone through since the beginning.
"Didn't realize you two weren't." he pointed out with his own slight raise of his eyebrow. She took in a breath, then let it out slowly, her body relaxing with it. She wasn't surprised; he had admitted to talking to Dawson, meaning he probably knew why they weren't talking. It wasn't personal. They hadn't gotten into a fight or anything. It was just safer. For both of them. Though it sucked. "He did...whatever it is he does." Steve continued with a slight wave of his hand, not bothering to pretend he knew the technical terms, "Told me where you were." he made eye contact with her, gifting her with a slight smile as he added, "Then he made some reference to The Godfather." his brow furrowed while Q laughed loudly; she knew exactly what he was talking about,
"Someday, and that day may never come," she started to quote the line in a shitty Don Vito Corleone impression, "I will call upon you to do a service for me." she lifted her hand up to motion with it the same way and pulled the same face Dawson did whenever he quoted the movie. The quote and impression made Steve laugh fully, pressing his hand to his chest while he did. She smiled at his reaction, realizing how long it had been since she had heard him laugh, "Yeah, I'm well aware of his thoughts on favors." she dropped the act, but still smiled fondly at the memory of her friend. Steve shook his head, laughter fading out to small chuckles.
"He told me about the deal and where you ended up." he circled back, becoming a bit serious again with a huff of a breath.
"So you came to check up on me." she summarized as she shifted her body on the couch so that she was facing him fully. Resting one elbow on the back of the couch, she leaned the side of her head onto her hand.
"It was a moment of weakness." he sighed with a glance at her. She gave him a small smile as his gaze lingered for a moment too long, "You look good, Queenie." her heart thrummed at the familiar nickname, but she tried not to focus on it.
"Yeah, well," she pushed up from the couch to go over to one of her boxes, "a week long cryogenic nap does wonders for the skin." she joked lightly, having assumed that he knew about her time in Wakanda.
"What?" Or maybe he didn't. She looked over from the box she was standing in front of to see a concerned look crossing his face.
"I, uh," her hands curled over the inside edge of the box to anchor herself; she realized she had to tell him what happened, "When I was still working for the CIA, we tracked down Klaue," she knew he knew the name from Ultron so she didn't bother explaining that part, "There was this whole thing. Ross ended up getting shot, T'Challa accidentally knocked me out while protecting me…" Steve's brows furrowed at the familiar names. Still he listened as Q told him about what happened in Wakanda. How she ended up being Princess Shuri's test subject for the algorithm she used to erase the Hydra trigger words in Bucky's head. Only being the test subject because she herself had similar words inside her head.
"Q, shit, I had no idea…" he trailed off once she finished her story. She shrugged, acting like it was no big deal,
"It's fine," she turned back to her box, rifling through it as she spoke, "Shuri managed to erase whatever it was they put in me before they had the opportunity to use it." she gave him a strong smile, "I'm okay, Steve." she assured him so that the look of guilt would go away. He took in a breath, then moved off the couch to step over to her,
"I should've been there." he shook his head, blaming himself for something that was never his fault in the first place. She had only ended up in Hydra because she had left him to hunt down Bucky. It was no one's fault but her own.
"It's not your fault." she reminded him firmly, "And I had Bucky." she gave him a small smile, reminding him of all the times he had only had Bucky too.
"You're sure you're okay?" his eyes searched her face for any sign of pain. His eyes found hers and held onto them for a moment as she answered,
"Never better." she admitted, for once meaning it too. Another beat passed before he relaxed slightly. She did look a lot better than the last time he had seen her. Granted, the last time he had seen her was after busting her out of an underwater, supermax prison but still. She looked more like herself. Like the woman from D.C. again.
The dark, heavy circles under her eyes were cleared up, as was the rest of her skin. There was even some pink to her cheeks but he wasn't sure if it was makeup or just as a result of the physical labor she had been doing. The clothes she was wearing fit and even accentuated some of the curves she was beginning to regain. She was no longer just skin and bones. Her dark waves were braided into two sets so it was out of her face while she moved into the apartment. She certainly wasn't as tense or on edge as she had been in the past. Nor had she been fidgeting like he remembered from the sensory overload. Especially considering the new place and the new situation she had chosen.
"I will admit, I was a little surprised I managed to surprise you out there." he gestured with his head toward the window where the moving truck was outside, "Figured you would've seen me coming a mile away." she gave him a slight smile, watching as he moved over to one of the other boxes littered around the apartment floor.
"I'm not as focused as I once used to be." she put it vaguely, "Also not a psychic." she joked a bit though he was already on his way to asking a follow up question,
"Are you still…?" he trailed off and motioned to her with his hand, then back to his head.
"Crazy?" she filled in for him with a raise of her eyebrows. He let out a slightly amused scoff and shook his head. She smiled at his reaction, but knew what he meant so she continued, "A little. It's not as...overwhelming as it once was. Just lingering in the background. Like a sixth sense." she explained as simply as she possibly could.
"So psychic." he threw the joke back in her face in a teasing manner, making her roll her eyes in response.
The noise inside her head wasn't drowning out everything else. Her brain wasn't rapid firing all the possible outcomes of the moment in high definition anymore. Just soft nudges of the important stuff, of which she could choose to pay attention to or not. Mostly she chose not to; it made her feel more normal. She wasn't sure what Shuri did in the rewire of her brain, but she was grateful.
"So, good news," Q changed the topic, "since you're here it means you can help carry the rest of my shit that I haven't brought up yet because it was too heavy for me to carry." she grinned at him. Even though he rolled his eyes, there was still an amused smile on his face as he agreed to help her finish moving into her new apartment.
After everything was brought up and deposited randomly throughout the apartment, they two of them sat on the floor with parts of bookshelves scattered around them. Each tasked with building one before they ordered dinner.
Although her apartment was still in the beginning stages of coming together, Steve could tell there was a different energy flowing through it than the one in D.C. or the floor they briefly shared at the Avengers Tower. It was almost a combination of all the places she had lived: the record player was softly playing one of his vinyls, the brightly colored, multi-patterned rug he was sitting on was from her old apartment in D.C., but the one of two bookshelves he was building was new. Something to hold all of her trinkets, photos and small things she had collected over the years alongside her books.
"Do you remember," he broke the comfortable semi-quiet they had been sitting in while working on their bookshelves, "those stools that we had to build for my apartment? From...oh God, the place with the terrible meatballs…" he trailed off, tilting his head back as he tried to think of the name of the store.
"IKEA." she filled in with a quick glance at him, "And those meatballs are a delicious delicacy, alright? I will not tolerate Swedish meatball slander in my home." she wielded her screwdriver at him, making him put his hands up in his defense, but he was still smiling at her. Going back to their bookshelves, he let a moment pass before he glanced up from screwing in one of the rods to see there was a small smile on her face at the memory.
"Those were the most uncomfortable stools I've ever sat on." she laughed a little, "But I was also so worried that one I built was going to break under you."
"You're kidding," he shook his head a bit, amused they had had similar thoughts, "I was worried the one I built was going to break under you." she let out a laugh,
"Oh, I was well aware of that." she pointed out, glancing over to see his eyebrows were raised in surprise, "Your relief was written all over your face." she motioned to her own, then mocked the relieved expression she had seen when the stool hadn't collapsed under her.
"I was worried!" he defended himself, "We only knew each other for like a week at that point. If it broke, it would just confirm all your suspicions that I was completely helpless."
"Trust me, I figured that out on day one." he rolled his eyes at her tease. A half smile tugged at the corners of her mouth while she turned her gaze back to her bookshelf.
"Yet you still stuck around." he pointed out as he rolled the head of the screwdriver between his fingers. Hearing the tonal shift, she glanced up from her bookshelf to meet his eyes. Her gaze softened and she let a small smile peek out.
"It was my job." she answered; however, the look meant more than the words. A faint joke from a time long passed. Where she used her job as an excuse for everything regarding them. Something that had been used and abused until it couldn't any longer. It hadn't been her job for a long time, and it certainly wasn't anymore. They held eye contact for a moment more before he looked away first. With a slight breath expelling from his body, he turned back to his bookshelf,
"Right." he nodded, letting a beat pass before he asked, "And what about now? What's your job now?" At his question, she took in a deep breath before letting it out loudly and heavily.
"I have no idea." she admitted with a slump of her shoulders, "I don't really have much experience in real world jobs." she used air quotes around the phrase, "Plus, as a part of my deal, I can't work in the government or with the Avengers or whatever you guys are now." she gestured to Steve and referred to his new group of superhero friends, "And I don't have a college degree while just barely having a high school diploma so that doesn't help either," The realization that she didn't have many options was beginning to weigh down on her. She could only survive on the stipend for so long. She stared at a spot on the floor, letting the familiar noise get louder and louder - overtaking her senses until her vision got fuzzy. Just trying to come up with some sort of viable plan in the moment to answer his question.
A hand on her shoulder suddenly got her attention. Startled, she looked over to see Steve had moved from his position across the floor to right next to her. There was a soft, worried look on his face and she wondered how long she had been out of it. Without a word, he pulled her into his chest, wrapping his arms around her to comfort her.
"I don't know what I'm doing, Steve." she whispered out, suddenly regretting taking option two. There were loopholes to certain things - like the surveillance. Not to mention the freedom, but she had never had this much freedom before. Always beholden to certain things: SHIELD, the Avengers, her mission in finding Bucky, the CIA. And she had people surrounding her that she didn't have anymore, or wasn't allowed to have. Including, even though he was the one comforting her, Steve.
Now, although still being lightly tracked and monitored until she was deemed a non-threat, she had the opportunity to do whatever she so chose to do - within reason. She wasn't sure what that was though. Thirty-two and having a mid-life crisis.
"It's okay." he assured her, "You'll figure it out." he kept a comforting arm around her, finding himself adding, "I'll stay until you figure it out." he wasn't sure why he said it, but he knew he didn't want her to be alone. Shifting, she moved back from his chest just enough to look up at him,
"Really?" her voice was still a quiet whisper, like she was afraid if she questioned any louder he would change his mind. They held eye contact for a moment before he answered,
"Yeah, yeah of course." he swallowed back the lump in his throat. It wasn't like he had any commitments at the moment. Natasha was still with Dawson on their mission. Sam had gone with Wanda to Edinburgh to meet with Vision over some small Avengers updates. Just so everyone was in the loop despite the way things were left with Tony. Enough time had passed where everyone understood the mistakes they had made during the Accords. He could stay.
Q shifted closer to him so that she could press her lips to his. Sensing what was coming, he smoothly dodged her attempt to kiss him. He might have been there, but he was no longer hers. Only a month had passed since he found out about everything. And while he understood why she hadn't told him about Bucky, the wound was still healing. He was still working on forgiving her. They weren't together anymore.
"Q…" he trailed off, not wanting to get into the conversation quite yet, but wanting her to be aware of where he stood. Eyes closing, it was clear she got the reminder without him having to expand on it.
"...Right." she breathed out before she ducked her head down to hide her embarrassment, "No, that was stupid. I'm sorry." Fully moving away from him, she put some space between them for a moment before getting to her feet, "I'm gonna go look up take-out spots around here." she excused herself with a small smile. He watched her grab her laptop from where it was resting atop one of the boxes, then move over to the kitchen area to open it on the counter. More space between them.
With a heavy sigh, he turned back to the half assembled bookshelves. He moved back over to the one he had been working on, focusing on it while she decided what to order for dinner. Awkward moment aside, he would still stay. Because maybe a small, very small part of him, wanted to stay.
A/N: He's gonna stay! At least for now! Hope this makes everyone a lil happier in this stressful time. As always, love hearing all your feedback so please don't hesitate to leave a review! Love you all so much. Thank you!