The way she tells me I'm hers and she is mine
Open hand or closed fist would be fine
The blood is rare and sweet as cherry wine

Cherry Wine - Hozier

Chapter Thirteen

Tom

We were so happy.

I gave her everything she could have ever wanted. She came from nothing- had nothing and I gave her what she needed. I am the one who made her worth something. When no one else noticed her, it was me who saw her potential. She was still in college the first time I saw her, I was on my lunch break in my favorite coffee shop when this tall, tan blonde goddess walked in. She was laughing, her long neck thrown back with the force of her joy. The laughter emitted from her mouth was bright, it was as if pure golden light was leaving her mouth and brightening my soul. Her beauty left me stunned, I was physically unable to move as I realized this woman was my future- from that moment I was ensnared.

I was cautious of course, I had to ensure that she was ready for a man like me in her life. She paid with her college ID and they called her name, Emma, when her coffee was ready and that was all I needed to find her. That night I researched her, discovering that she was a photography major- that would be a nice hobby for her to have, and that she grew up locally but I could not find any family in the area. More searches and I found out about her parent's deaths when she was young, she must have been so alone- before she met me.

Weeks I followed her, learning her schedule and habits, learning what she liked and did not. I knew what her favorite desk at the library was- the one on the third floor in the corner by the big windows, she studied with her back to it but when she was stressed out she would face the window and close her eyes to allow the skin the absorb the sun. I knew that she grocery shopped on Mondays at the small family-owned grocery store on the other side of town, she chooses it rather than the megastore three blocks from her apartment.

On the weekends she would travel all over the southern part of California photographing anything and everything, I could easily see that this hobby of hers was a little out of hand, with some guidance I could easily help her manage that. On these short trips, I had to be extra cautious not to be seen but it was so hard with the danger that she was constantly putting herself in. Every time she walked too close to a busy road or reached just a little too far for a perfect shot, it took everything in me to not go over and pull her to safety. When I was a part of her life she would know better than to put herself at risk like that.

I was able to save her from anyone who would try and bring her harm and there were many that attempted. Supposed friends that monopolized her time with their own selfish needs, forcing her to be distracted from her studies with their inconsequential parties and problems. Worse still were the countless boys, young and manipulative boys, who only saw her as an object and wanted to use her and then leave her broken. She needed me there to help weed out these people from her life, lucky to have me to always be the one to persuade these distractions to find someone else to put their woes onto. I freed up her lunches and nights and weekends, I allowed her time to study and focus on herself, free from diversions and corruption.

Then, after months of hard work, I could see that she was finally ready to meet me. She soon would have time in her life for me and I was ready to step up and be there for her to fill that need for companionship. She was about to graduate at the top of her class, thanks to me, and was at the perfect transitionary part of her life where she needed someone like me to help guide her. She was going to fit perfectly into my life, I could already imagine her fitting into all the crevices of my life that I had created for her.

Unknowingly I had spent years waiting for Emma to come into my life, I had gone through all my previous struggles in love- of women who were too busy for me or whose families and friends poisoned their minds against me. Emma on the other hand, she and I were meant to be, destined from the beginning of time to become one with each other. She was a gift sent to me and made specifically for me.

We were so happy. I made her happy.

Then she left.

Emma

A ball of nervous energy was tangible in the center of my chest. I was leaving La Push for the first time since arriving months ago. As Diana drove me steadily down the winding forest-lined I felt as if I was leaving a part of myself behind me. Even though we had not been on the road long I was already anxious to turn around and go back.

I had been against going from the very beginning.

Every preparation I made for the art show was meticulous. I doubled and triple checked all the details, making sure that everything I needed for the event could either be delivered directly to the shop or retrieved from Forks, just a few miles up the road; hanging mounts for the artwork, table decor, serving trays for Diana's food, invitations, and many other things. Everything had been on time and arrived just as expected, I had even gone with Diana to the local grocery store in Forks to buy all the food and drinks for the light appetizers that she was making for the event.

It was three days before the day of the big show, invitations had been sent out all over the place and RSVPs returned, we had advertised in all the surrounding area's newspapers and both Al and I were optimistic for a good turnout.

I had already begun setting up the shop in preparation, we did not get a ton of foot traffic to prevent the shop from being unable to operate while also being worked on. The plan had been to have the majority of the prints for sale adorning the walls and a few selected pieces to hang in certain places, allowing for there to be a natural flow of progression through looking at the pieces. The problem came in that Al insisted on deciding where each and every print was placed and he was currently fighting me about not having enough hanging mounts to feature the best of the prints.

"You're asking too much of me, Emma," Al said for the fourth time that afternoon, he was standing in front of ten selected prints, he needed to narrow it down to just five.

"Al," I began while rolling my eyes with my back to him as I put together another centerpiece for one of the standing tables, "I have done everything for the art show, all that I ask of you is to pick a few select prints to feature."

"Picking a favorite would be like asking me to pick a favorite of my children."

"You have one child Al, picking your favorite child should be easy."

He sighed dramatically behind me, "You know what I mean! You are lucky I was able to pick just these ten, asking me to narrow it down to five is injustice."

I continued working as I heard him mumbling under his breathe and scooting around the prints laid in front of him. After several more minutes of back-and-forth, he exasperatedly said, "It is pointless if I can't feature all of these there is no point in even having the show! Cancel the whole thing, it's too much and I should have never even considered selling these, to begin with!"

Hearing the seriousness in his voice I feeling of dread sprouted in my stomach.

"Woah Al, settle down," I quickly turned and went over to try and calm him, "we agreed that you needed to clear out space."

"No, you agreed we needed to clear out space and somehow talked me into this idea. I have had these prints for years and what would Oliver say if he saw me selling off his photos." I could see the sadness in his features as he talked about his son.

"Oliver sends you these photos to share with the world, don't you think he would appreciate you passing on these to someone else who will cherish them?"

"I guess so..." Al looked resigned as he looked over all ten of his selected photos one more time.

"I know that when we lost his mother Oliver took it really hard, but it has been years since I have seen his face or heard his voice. I don't know where on Earth he is or what he is doing with his life, the only reason I even know he is alive and okay are the occasional pictures and postcards he sends me from his travels. These photos are the only connection I have left to my son," he looked up at me with a misting of tears in his eyes, "don't you see how it could be hard to pick a favorite?"

My heart clutched at the obvious emotion that this process was bringing out in Al and I instantly felt for him, "Maybe we can find a way to feature all these," pointing to the ten in front of him.

A small smile graced his face, "You can hang all of them?"

I nodded, knowing that I would have to figure out a way to make it work for him.

That is how I ended up in Diana's car driving to the only store in all of North Washington that had the hanging hardware in stock in nearby Port Angeles. When I had called and asked how much it would cost for them to overnight ship the hardware to me, the store refused me. They did not do rush shipping but informed me that I was more than welcome to come to pick up in person and that they would hold the items in the back for me. I had to make to the decision of letting Al down or getting over my fear and branching out a bit.

Diana had seen the turmoil on my face when I walked over after work, listened to my problem, and right away volunteered to drive me there herself tomorrow morning. The night seemed to have passed way too fast and even Paul's calming presence was not enough to soothe the worry that had begun to fester within in. I could tell that he thought something was off but did not push me for answers.

That festering hole grew exponentially the farther from La Push Diana's car traveled, I had not realized how at ease I had become in the small coastal town. As my physical body moved further away I felt as if a piece of myself was separating from my core.

Now I was returning to the scene of the worst night of my life, a completely changed a different person. I looked at the unfamiliar buildings once we got into the city I was thankful to have Diana with me for this.

"This is where we came," I said quietly, "after that day last year."

Diana reached over and gave my hand a reassuring squeeze, sensing how difficult this might be for me.

I had traveled with him a handful of times to Port Angeles, though the majority of it was spent alone inside of a hotel room. The last time I had been in the town had been over a year ago now, right after that day on First Beach.

It was the maddest I had ever seen him. The drive from La Push to Port Angeles was an hour and a half, the whole ride I sat cocooned in salty cold clothes contemplating the decision I had made. I felt like the ocean had breathed new life into me, made me feeling something for the first time in a long time. Then there were the eyes of the man who pulled me from the water, Paul's eyes, they enveloped my body and soul and I remember not hearing a word that he yelled at me the entire ride. Still, even Paul's eyes and the salt of the ocean could not save me that night in the small hotel room in Port Angeles.

I physically shook the thoughts from my mind and Diana parked in the lot of a moderately-sized strip mall. This was a step to reclaiming my life, I reassured myself, this city holds nothing over me. Head held high I gathered my stuff and got out the car, forcing myself not to look around paranoid. I was just a normal woman, going to make a normal purchase, at a normal store.

The storefront nearest to the car was advertised as an art supply store and I made a beeline for the front entrance. Diana was following but once we got under the awning she pointed to the shop next door, "Do you mind if I shop a little bit while you're getting the hangings, I'd like to get a new outfit for the show?"

"Take your time," I said looking through the glass and saw that it was a women's clothing store and quickly nodded, "I'll come to get you once I am finished here."

Riding on the winds of fake confidence I went into the small art supply store. I asked a young girl, high-school-aged, about the mounts I had called about and she scuttled to the back to get them for me. In no time at all, she was back with a small box of them, after checking to make sure they would work for the show I checked out with the card Al had given me to use for business expenses. From entering the store to leaving the transactions took all of ten minutes, I was almost laughing at myself at how anxious I had gotten over a ten-minute encounter. I stashed my purchase in the trunk of Diana's car and, feeling quite a bit lighter, went into the clothing store to find Diana.

Realizing that I had not really given Diana much time and seeing as she drove me all the way here, I decided to look around a bit a give her some time to shop. I started browsing through the woman's section, passively admiring pieces here and there. I had not properly shopped for clothes in some time, no alone at least. Walking through the different sections I realized that this was my life now. That I was able to go to a store with a friend and pick out clothes that I liked and buy said clothes with money that I earned while working a job that I got all by myself.

This renewed sense of freedom reinvigorated me and I decided that I would also get a new outfit for the art show. It was not a formal occasion by any means but a nice dress would make me feel confident around all the potential buyers. I made a few selections that I felt would flatter my body while also not being too revealing and headed to the dressing room to try them on.

As I was waiting for the attendant to open up a room for me Diana came out with a dress in her hands, "Oh Emma, I hope I have no kept you waiting too long!"

"Not at all, I was actually about to try these on if you don't mind waiting a bit longer."

She smiled broadly at me, "Go ahead, go ahead! You deserve to buy yourself something nice if you need any help picking just let me know, though I think anything will look beautiful on you darling." She took a seat at one of the chairs they had near the entrance to the fitting rooms as I made my way into the room the attendant had open for me.

Thus began a fun half-hour of dress-up with Diana, together we laughed at the unflattering dresses and she gushed over me in the ones she liked the most. I must have tried on a half dozen different dresses before finally settling on a dark green flowing silk dress. It was a wrap style dress with short sleeves that flowed out to mid-shoulder, it had a tie that accentuated my waist. It was long but not conservative, having a slit that I thought revealing but Diana convinced me was not too much. Looking at myself in the mirror I could not help but admire the way the emerald green set off my tan skin and made my eyes seem a little more vibrant. Every normal girl gets to buy a dress that they think they are beautiful in and today I was normal.

I sent Diana off to check out with her own purchases as I changed back into my clothes, my spirits high. After changing I took the dress with me to the register, getting in line behind a few other shoppers, up ahead I could see Diana at the register. After she finished checking out I motioned that I would join her in the car after I checked out. The line moved fairly quickly and I soon was at the check out myself, I was proud when I pulled out my own money and paid for the dress myself. I caught myself thinking how much I had overcome today and how nervous I had gotten for nothing.

Receipt in hand I turned to walk out of the store when I heard it, "Emma?"

Confused I turned around, there standing inline was one of his work partner's wives. I had met her a handful of times at dinners that he had taken me to whenever he did business in Port Angeles. I couldn't remember her name but she clearly remembered mine. I quickly turned away and started walking towards the exit.

"Emma," she called again, I kept walking trying to get out of the store as fast as possible. All of a sudden a small hand grabbed my arm, startled I dropped my purse and a few things fell out. I quickly bent down and started to stuff my things back in as she was still standing there looking at me. "Emma it's me, Hannah Chambers, you know Bill Chambers's wife."

Standing back up I kept my head down refusing to meet the woman's eyes, "You must have me confused with someone else, please excuse me." I bolted, striding out of the store and trying to hold myself together, I heard her yell something after me but the doors were already closing behind me. Once I made it outside I practically ran to Diana's car, throwing open the door and slamming it closed behind me.

"We need to go," I managed to ground out, my chest getting tighter and tighter by the minute.

Diana was shocked at my obvious appearance of distress, "What's wrong? What happened?"

"Please," I said looking up with pleading eyes, "just drive. Take us home please, I need to get out of here." It was a struggle to get those words out as the tightness in my chest was beginning to make it difficult to breathe.

Diana must have seen the desperation in my eyes because she assented to my request and got us onto the road back to La Push.

Bringing my feet up onto the seat I placed my head between my knees and tried to focus on my breathing. My mind was working in overdrive, that woman had known exactly who I was. She was married to someone who worked with him frequently. There was no doubt in my mind that he was going to hear about it. He would know I was in Port Angeles and how long would it take him to figure out after that I was in La Push. He would come for me.

Silent tears were already streaming down my face, and I could not seem to get enough oxygen to relieve the iron bars that surrounded my lungs.

I felt Diana's hand start rubbing small circles on my back reassuringly the motion was comforting but it brought little relief.

Everything I had built up around me was going to be taken away again; the job, the community, the friends, my freedom, Diana, Paul. Paul. Even just thinking about never seeing him again intensified the pain in my chest ten-fold. What if he came and he did not just stop with me, what if he hurt the people that I cared about. It was not above him to hurt Diana or Al or Paul to get to me. It would be my fault if anything were to happen to any of them and I would never be able to forgive myself.

I would have to leave. Pain shot through my heart at the idea of leaving La Push but surprisingly my lungs freed up a bit at the idea.

That changed something to me. The rationale behind the thought gave me hope if I leave and he came for me no one would get hurt. There was a deep pain associated with leaving but if I went it would guarantee that Diana and Paul would be safe. I would not have to go back to that monster and I could protect the people I cared about.

I have left everything once before, this would be no different. I hissed in the physical pain that thought brought to me, this was significantly different. I was leaving people I cared about behind this time- the people I loved. It had to be done though, I was in a better situation to leave this time. I had more money and would be able to get back on my feet better whenever I found a new place to settle, this time somewhere far from where anyone would ever find me. Even with the advantages, leaving La Push would be harder than leaving him ever was.

As I started to formulate a plan I pulled myself together enough to catch my breath and put my feet back on the floorboard, leaning back against the seat Diana's hand fell away from my back and instead held onto my hand tightly, as if a lifeline to anchor me. I could feel her gazing flickering from the road over to me every so often. I placed my head on the window to try and avoid her eyes and found that the cool window helped calm my mind.

We drove for a while longer, the roads all look the same in Washington State, I couldn't tell if we had driven five minutes or an hour. The dark forest was lit up by the surprisingly sunny day today, it contrasted well with the tone of the car.

"What happened?" Diana gently asked after a bit more time.

I sighed, knowing I was going to have to tell her. "I saw someone, or rather they saw me."

Diana gasped and her hand squeezed mine in surprise, "Tom?"

I flinched as the name left her mouth, still raw from the ordeal and not use to hearing his name.

"No, but someone who knows him, she recognized me."

There was a long period of silence, I was beginning to wonder if Diana was going to want to talk about it anymore when she finally asked quietly, "Do you think she will tell?"

Knowing that she was looking at me I nodded solemnly.

"Do you think he will come?" she said so softly it was almost a whisper.

I nodded again, unable to form words.

We did not talk after that, it was not much longer till we were pulling back into the familiar drive and parking in front of the place I had called home these last months. Getting out I made my way swiftly into the house, thankful Paul was not present. I walked into the house not quite sure what to do, I needed to start packing and making arrangements to leave but I was reluctant to start. I felt lost standing in the middle of the living room of this home, my home.

I head the door open behind me and turned in time to see Diana coming towards me with open arms. I fell into the shorter woman's embrace and let her lead me over to the couch. Together we stayed there, my head in her lap as she gently brushed a soothing hand through my hair, whispering how everything would be okay as I cried out all the tears I had left in me.

Author's Note

Tell me what y'all think!