It was startling to hear that Hux had actually thought he was bringing order and peace to the galaxy as opposed to death and war. Rose continued to massage her neck, hoping to get rid of the light headache that had settled in.

"Did you really believe that there would be peace in the galaxy if the Order won?" she asked. Somehow he didn't strike her as an idealist.

He leaned back in his chair, he looked somewhat surprised. "I think so," he said slowly in a low voice as if he was thinking and speaking at the same time. "Perhaps it was only a leftover from my conditioning at the academy. The way one rises through the ranks has little to do with order and due process."

Rose got the impression that he was truthful. Perhaps that was what he told himself to sleep at night? That there was a higher purpose behind all the death?

"Everybody needs something to believe in, I guess." She rubbed her hands on the rough fabric of her overalls. "My dad used to believe that every person was good, that it was in their nature to be kind. He was a miner on Hays Minor, worked with my mother in the crystal mines from sunrise to sunset. He had a pretty shitty life but somehow he still managed to believe in people." She hesitated. Why was she even telling Hux about her father? She scanned his face, he looked impassive as always but his eyes weren't cold or hard, they almost looked interested.

"You are speaking in past tense," he said, sounding cautious as if he wasn't sure if it was safe to talk about this topic.

Perhaps it was his way of asking 'what happened'? She cleared her throat. "He was killed in a mining accident a couple of years ago. The foreman had assured him that the shaft was safe to work in and he believed him - despite knowing that he was a greedy asshole." She shrugged. "As I said, he believed in the good of the people. He couldn't fathom that someone would risk lives just for a couple more credits."

"And your mother?"

"She refused to go in that shaft, she and my dad had quite a fight about it. She was always the more realistic one." Her mother had been heart-broken after the accident, Paige told her that she sometimes caught her sitting on her dad's side of the bed, softly brushing over the mattress as if she could still feel his warmth.

"What happened to the foreman?" asked Hux to her surprise. She hadn't thought that he was actually interested in her sob story.

"Nothing, at least not officially. The mining company paid a hefty compensation of course but there was no hard evidence against him."

"And unofficially?"

"My mother loved my father very much. She always said he was a hopeless romantic who made her laugh and that he'd been the most moronic, bold and kind being she had ever met." She blinked, her eyes felt moist. "So she did what she had to do: she killed the son of a Hutt with her own hands. We never talked about it, but we knew when she came home late one night - we saw it in her eyes."

She looked down on the power cell to hide her moist eyes from Hux. It had been years and it still got to her. That look in her mother's eyes. The way her father had smiled before he left for the mine. She sniffed. She was just tired, that's why she had told Hux. Yes, why else would she tell him?

"I-" began Hux, and she looked up. He frowned and opened his mouth to say something but then closed it again without speaking. He looked down on his pad and then back up again. "She sounds like a strong woman."

Rose's eyes went wide. "Uh, yes. Yes she is." Usually people told her that they were sorry after hearing about her father, but not Hux.

Against her will she was fascinated by his statement. Hux thought that it was a story about a strong woman getting revenge, he didn't see it as a story about loss. What did it say about him? She wasn't sure but she got the feeling that there were layers to him she didn't see through… yet.

Her sight fell once again on the power cell. She still hadn't found a solution. Perhaps it was time to think outside the box? Hux was right, she was focussing on a small part of an overall problem. Even if she found a chip that would fit they would have the same problem in six months when the new chips burned out.

She had to replace the cannon and since it wasn't possible to just buy one she would have to build a new one! She rolled her shoulder back. All she needed was an engineer to help draw up the blueprints - lucky for her one was sitting right in front of her.

She exhaled and glanced at him. He was typing something into the pad again. He certainly didn't look like it with his slightly mussed up bright ginger hair and his bony frame but he was a dangerous weapon designer. Force knew what kind of lethal plans he had seen and thought of in the Order.

"Hey Hux."

He looked up and brushed a strand of hair out of his face. "Sergeant?"

"If I gave you a list of available hardware, could you come up with a cannon design to replace the ancient stuff we strap onto our fighters?"

He sat up a little straighter. "I think so. It depends on the compatibility of the parts of course."

"Leave the details to me, what I need is just a decent blueprint."

"If you say so - what has a higher priority? The tracker or the cannons?"

"Uh," she hadn't thought about that. "Can't you do both?"

"Splitting time between two different assignments isn't productive."

She thought for a moment. "How long would it take you to draw up the cannon blueprints?" Perhaps she should ask General Organa if it was alright if he worked three days on the cannons or something like that? The tracker was a long-term project after all.

He chewed on his lip. "Judging from past projects I would estimate 10 hours."

She gaped at him. "Ten hours?" How in the Galaxy could he do that in 10 hours?

He sank into his chair. "I'm aware that it's a lot but it's hard to come up with something new, even if I base the ground structure on old blueprints."

She wiped over her face. "No, no - that's not what I meant. I'm just amazed that you could do it in 10 hours. I thought it would take you much longer."

"Ah," was all he said. He averted his gaze and looked annoyed.

At any rate she had to ask General Organa if it was possible to give him this assignment. And then she had to put together a list of course - better get to it. "Okay, I'll go and ask permission."

She hurried out of the lab towards the command center. It would erase quite a lot of problems if she could build a prototype - the other mechanics could then just reproduce it. With one fell swoop they would solve a long-term problem and free up resources used to fix the old cannons for other repair jobs.

General Organa was in her office, looking at a holomap with a sorrowful expression. Rose slowed down her step and waited until the General made eye contact.

Organa smiled and beckoned Rose to come closer. "Good to see you, Rose."

Rose couldn't help but to smile at the warm reception. "Thank you, General. H-how are you?" she added awkwardly.

"Please, call me Leia - these days I don't feel like a General."

Rose almost blushed. "A-alright… Leia." She was on first-name basis with a galactic legend! She dreamed about it when she was a little girl - it still felt like a dream.

"As for your question," continued Gen- Leia, "I'm worried. It has been days since I last heard from Rey."

Rose suddenly felt silly for barging in like she had. Leia had much to worry about, it certainly didn't help if every Tom, Dick and Harriet interrupted her work. "I'm sorry. I thought she was on her way back."

Leia smiled and the very sight of her smile filled Rose with hope and confidence. "She probably is - I guess I'm just an old worrywart. What can I do for you?"

"Our fighter's cannons are slowly breaking down, and I would like to use Hux to draw up a completely new cannon plan. He estimates that it would take him 10 hours. That means of course that he won't be working on the tracker for a day."

Leia's eyebrow rose. "Only 10 hours?"

"Yeah, I know. I asked him the same question, and he started to defend himself, babbling about how he knew that it was a lot."

"What a curious man." Leia folded her hands in front of her stomach. "Alright, I think it's sensible to make sure that our fighters are ready when the time comes."

"Thanks!" said Rose and beamed at Leia. Then she turned and hurried out of the office - now she only had to- oh, she had forgotten to be dismissed by Leia. Rose stopped and looked back, Leia was again looking at the holo, rubbing her chin.

The next time she would wait to be dismissed. She continued her way back to the lab.

.

-o-

.

Hux was getting thirsty. A glass of water or a cup of tea would be nice. He checked the chronometer. It was 15:39, there was a high probability that there weren't many people in the Cantina.

He could quickly grab a mug of tea, drink it and come back here in… 11 minutes. Provided the water wasn't too hot of course. Then he could ask for a bottle of water. This way he could transport something to drink in his grey bag back here.

He got up and grimaced a little when he felt a numb pain in his leg. He ignored it and took the crutch. A few minutes later he was in the Cantina. He'd guessed right, it was almost empty. Only a handful of pilots and FN-2187 were sitting at their own at tables, most of them focussed on their holo.

Of course FN-2187 perked up his head and when their gazes met Hux made an effort to look indifferent. He casually averted his gaze and hobbled to the counter.

The Zabrak cook asked: "What can I get you?"

"What teas do you have in stock?"

"At the moment only three: Balmorran green tea, Hutta jasmine tea and Yavinese black tea."

"Black tea and a bottle of water please."

"Sure." The cook turned to the water heater behind him and started to pour steaming water in a mug. "Sugar or milk?"

Hux almost scoffed, what kind of barbarian would add sugar or milk? "No, thank you."

"Here you go," the cook said and put the mug and a bottle of water on the counter.

Hux grabbed the bottle and put it in his bag, just when he was about to take the mug he felt that someone was standing behind him.

"Want some help with that, Hux?" asked FN-2187. Without waiting for his reply he took the mug and put it on the nearest table.

Well, it certainly made things easier. Hux followed FN-2187 to the table and let himself fall on the chair. "Thank you."

FN-2187 lingered and then he finally sat down across from Hux. Hux leaned a little farther back, unsure of what to expect.

"Seeing you here is weird," FN-2187 began. "It's weird seeing you in civilian clothes, it almost looks like a disguise. And I keep wondering… does it feel the same to you?"

Hux thought about the question. "I never thought about it that way but it is an accurate description. It feels like a disguise." He thought about his plan to disappear in plain sight. "Perhaps it is a disguise."

FN-2187 crossed his arms. "I shouldn't talk to you about this, seeing as you wanted me dead not that long ago. But here we are and you're the only one who spent his whole life in a uniform around here." He leaned forward and propped his elbows up on the table. "I'm with the Rebels for three years and sometimes when I see myself in the mirror with these clothes I'm sort of … I don't know. It still surprises me."

Hux pulled the corners of his mouth down. "That's part of the conditioning."

"What?"

"That was the reason why Stormtroopers were forbidden to take off their helmets at any time. To stamp out bonding between the troops. If you can't see the face of others or your own, if it feels foreign to be without the armour… well, then Stormtroopers would always see themselves everywhere and nowhere."

FN-2187 buried his face in his hands. "Kriff. That shit is still in me. I thought I left it behind."

Hux felt uncomfortable. What was he supposed to say now? His father had designed the conditioning and always bragged about it. 'Stamp out their personality - they're nothing but cattle anyway - that's easy.' He hadn't appreciated when Hux pointed out that if it was so easy then why were there so many reconditions necessary. He hadn't repeated the mistake of questioning him after he got his back patched up.

The memory of his father yelling at him and holding his belt in his meaty fist made Hux grimace. "The conditioning is not perfect," he said in a firm voice. "There was a reason why so many reconditioning programs were necessary. After the academy most officers weren't conditioned anymore," he shrugged. "Perhaps that's why some of them became lazy and greedy."

FN-2187 inhaled and leaned back again. "Is this Hux-speech for telling me that the conditioning is not forever?"

Hux frowned at the term 'Hux-speech' but he nodded. "At least that's my deduction."

"Huh, I'm actually feeling better. Who would have thought you could have that effect on people."

Hux pulled the tea bag out of the water and gulped the now lukewarm tea down. "According to Internal Security reports my speeches had a similar effect prior to combat. Sixty-seven percent of the Stormtroopers reported higher morale."

FN-2187 rolled his eyes. "Damn, why'd you have to bring that up?"

"Why not?"

"It spoils everything, reminds me of being one of those blind soldiers who used to stand at parade rest, listening to that drivel. And it isn't true."

This time Hux was the one to lean forward. "What?"

"You think what motivated us- eh, the Stormtroopers, were overused phrases about the might of the First Order when we, eh the Storm- whatever - we were the ones dying on some backwater planet? When we were the ones who had to clean up the mess after the battle, when we had to scrap shit, blood and stars knows what else from our boots?"

Hux was taken aback by this unexpected turn. "I wasn't aware that IS was lying to me. Hm, I should have anticipated-"

"Do you have any idea what a dying Stormtrooper is calling for? Our opponents cried out for their mothers and fathers, whimpering in pain as the end came. We never had a mother or father thanks to the Order," FN-2187 hissed. "So we called out for our bunkmates. Do you have any idea how much it takes to hear one's names called in that way? What it feels like? Knowing exactly that there is someone you know but you just- you just don't know who it is. You don't have time to read their designations, not in the heat of the battle! And even if you could read it - it's not a name, just a kriffing number. That's what we were to the likes of General Aavet who used us as human shields!" FN-2187 slammed his hand on the table. "You're a nasty piece of work, Hux, but at least you didn't waste our lives. Stars know why, but you and General Duvka were about the only ones who employed tactics that didn't use us as cannon fodder. You want to know why the morale was higher after a speech of yours? Because we knew that when you were in command we might actually make it through the day! We thought that maybe we don't have to listen to our comrades crying out for people they barely knew."

Hux stared at FN-2187, trying to process what he had heard - never in a thousand years had he thought that this was behind the dry numbers of IS reports. He always envied the athletic soldiers who had made it in the Stormtrooper program, and wished that he could be as strong and able as them.

He really thought that he was worse off than- what a fool he had been. At least he had a name, at least- Hux didn't know what to think. He was still nothing without his rank. How must it have felt for FN-2187? Giving up the only thing he had ever known in his life? Was he feeling like he was nothing?

"Did- did you experience anxiety when you left the Order?" Hux asked cautiously.

FN-2187 face softened a bit. "That's Hux-speech for asking if I was scared, right? Yeah. Yeah I was scared. I just knew I had to leave. I had no idea what awaited me outside the Order but I just had to go. And Poe-" He smiled. "Poe was there at the right time and place."

Hux didn't know what to say to that. He wanted him to ask if he was feeling hollow inside, like there was something missing but he didn't know how. He wasn't even sure if that was an accurate description of the feeling that sometimes took hold of him.

"What about you? Did you 'experience anxiety'?" asked FN-2187 hesitantly.

Hux shifted on his chair. He could feel heat crawl up his cheeks. "I- I need to go back to work. Thank you for the tea, FN-"

"It's Finn. My name is Finn."

Hux wondered how he had found out his real name, but in the same moment he realised that 'Finn' was just an expansion of 'FN'. Finn wanted to be more than a number, no, he already was more than a number… "Thank you for the tea - what is your current rank?"

"Captain."

"Thank you for the tea, Captain Finn." Hux got up and returned to the lab.