Rose was brushing her teeth, her eyes still half-closed as she stood half-dressed in front of the mirror going through all the tasks she wanted to finish today. Slowly, very slowly she woke up as she spit out and washed her face.

She combed her hair and pulled it into a ponytail before she grabbed her overalls, with a frown she saw a caf stain on it and threw it in the bin in the fresher before she grabbed the other one that was hanging in her closet. She put her legs in and pulled it up, when she zipped it up, she realised that it was a little tight around her stomach and thighs.

She stepped in front of the mirror and confirmed with a look what she already knew: she had gained a bit of weight. She frowned, she really should exercise a bit more. All the extra food her mother was bringing and the fact that she now actually ate regularly in the Cantina with Hux was bound to catch up.

Well, it didn't matter. She'd never been slim and her weight had always fluctuated a little. She would just go visit her mother to ask her for a shirt or something until her other slightly bigger overalls was back from the laundry.

"Ro-Ro, how nice of you to finally visit your old mother!" cried her mother as soon as she stepped into her office.

"We just saw each other yesterday," Rose dryly retorted.

"Ah well, it's so rare for you to seek me out - how can I help you?" Her gaze dropped to Rose's mid-section. Then she leaned closer. "You should cut back with all the sweets you're eating, Ro. You're getting a bit heavy."

Rose regretted her idea to ask her for other clothes and rolled her eyes. "Mom! I haven't eaten candy since I was 10 years old. Maybe you should just stop bringing me all this food. Besides - so what? Just give me a shirt size 40 and pants to go with it. My other overalls are in the laundry."

"I'm only bringing you healthy food!"

"Rolls and dumplings aren't exactly healthy," Rose pinched the bridge of her nose. "It's too early for this discussion, could you please just give me the clothes?"

Her mother disappeared into the clothes chamber and returned shortly after with two khaki shirts and dark brown pants. She handed them to Rose. "Here you go."

Rose decided to leave before her mother could say anything else to further infuriate her. She stomped back into her quarters and changed into the new clothes. If she was sitting for the next eight hours she needed to be comfortable.

Hux and Rose made good progress with their boarding droid and were about to finalize the hooks that attached it to the ship's hull when her mother stormed in, holding a plate with sliced banana pieces on it.

Rose stared at her incredulously. "Really? First you nag at me for eating too much sweet stuff and now you're bringing me these fructose bombs?" She sighed. "Can't you just- can't you just leave me be?"

The moment she had said it she regretted her words, despite everything her mother was just trying to take care of her only remaining daughter. Her words had been too harsh.

A brief flash of hurt flashed over her mother's face and she looked down on the bananas. Then she lifted her chin and said, "They're not for you - they're for Hux!" She put the plate on his workbench. "Not everything is about you, Rose!"

Before either Rose or Hux could say anything she had stormed out of the room.

"What was that about?" asked Hux.

"We had a small argument this morning and as usual she doesn't get it."

Hux looked at her, there was something in his gaze she couldn't entirely identify. "I think she keeps bringing you food because she appreciates you."

She sighed, "Of course she loves me, she's my mother."

Hux looked slightly taken aback and said in a low voice. "Yes, yes of course."

Rose threw the hydrospanner on the table. "But she drives me crazy with her obsession with food. I mean - I get it. We didn't have much on Hays Minor and my parents had to work hard to put food on the table. They didn't have time to play with us, or help us with homework because they had to work. But come on, we're both grown-up now. She should be smart enough to know that food doesn't equal love, it's just food."

She turned to face Hux and drew breath to continue when she saw that he looked miserable. Kriff, she really was a rancor in a porcelain shop. To him it wasn't self-evident that her mother loved her, after all - he couldn't remember his. She knew that it was a sensitive topic to him and still she had yapped on.

She put her hand on his arm and rubbed his softly. "I'm sorry. Sometimes I don't think when I talk."

He straightened his back. "Don't worry. It's silly to wonder- I mean I assume that my mother appreciated me, in a way at least. Perhaps my father lied to me when he said that she was glad to be rid of me. If not..." he shrugged. "Well, then I'm better off not knowing her."

She smiled at him. "Come on, let's put the past behind us. And don't forget to eat your banana slices, they turn brown after a while and get all sludgy."

He hesitated, his gaze wandered from her to the banana and back again. "They're not for me." It almost sounded like a question.

"They sure are," she said, "the longer I think about it, the more I think that she really brought them for you. That's why she was annoyed, right? Because it really wasn't about me."

A smile appeared on his lips. "I'm not sure that I follow that logic. But it's not unreasonable that she brought the food for me. Sergeant Major Tico has commented on my slender frame before."

Seeing the change in his face from miserable to something akin to happiness gave her a stab in her heart. Despite his distrusting, cautious nature he was ready to believe her that somebody had sliced fruit just for him. She gulped. She shouldn't have told him that they were for him, it was cruel to pretend that her mother cared that way about him.

Hux slowly ate a few slices, as if he expected them to turn bad in his mouth. He looked so vulnerable, so lost that it hurt watching him.

Stars, she wanted to tell him that she just knew that his mother had loved him. She blinked tears away and turned her back towards him, pretending to continue working.

Cold air burned in her lungs as she stopped running, clouds of breath were obscuring her sight but Rose knew that she had finally finished the run. Rey was of course already waiting for her at the end of her course, smiling cheerful and without a single drop of sweat on her forehead.

Rose was hot and cold at the same time, she bent down and tried to catch her breath.

"That was great, Rose! I love it when people train with me!"

"Damn it," panted Rose, "I knew that I was out of shape but this is… way worse than I thought."

"You just have to train regularly, nobody is fit without some proper training."

Rose unzipped her parka and let herself fall backwards on the cold snow. The cool air felt good against her sweat-drenched shirt. "Yeah, I know. I just need to keep at it." She sighed. "So, who else is training with you?"

"Finn and Kaydel Ko, Finn says he gets stir-crazy and Kaydel says she wants to work out a bit more."

"I didn't know that Kaydel needed training, she already looks quite fit to me."

Rey shrugged. "She is in very good shape, she usually trains with weights and treadmills. I assume she wants to get some fresh air." She crouched down next Rose. "Come to think of it, why are you here?"

"I have gained a little weight and I thought I should try to get rid of it. In the past few days I haven't eaten snacks and I'm pretty strict with the food but it doesn't seem to help. I mean, I've always gained and lost some weight in the past years, but in the end I have always bounced back."

Rey helped her up. "You shouldn't sit in the snow, you'll catch a cold." She smiled. "I haven't noticed that you gained weight, you sure?"

"It's there and it kind of bothers me." She thought to mention the fact that her mother was glaring at her everytime she saw her. It made her feel uncomfortable.

"Well, if it bothers you you're always welcome to train with me."

"Thanks."

A couple of days later Rose was sitting in the Cantina, staring in her pad while trying to figure out one of Hux's calculations that wasn't working. Meanwhile he was getting their food.

Odd, usually they were flawless, perhaps it hadn't to do with the calculation but with the latitude of the chips used in the-

Somebody sat down beside her.

She didn't look up. "Ah, there you are, Hux. That was fast, I almost-"

"Ah, Ro-Ro," said her mother with a sigh. "How are you?"

She was taken aback and jerked her head up. "Uh, fine. How are you?"

Her mother smiled and craned her neck to see Hux in the food line. "Did you tell him that you wouldn't eat the dessert?"

Rose slammed her pad on the table. "Of course I didn't tell him! There's pudding for dessert! I love pudding!"

"You think I'm doing this because I want to?" her mother said in a calm voice, as if she was explaining something to a little child. "Rosie, I'm doing this for you. You haven't lost weight, haven't you?"

"So what?" hissed Rose. "I'm not Paige, mom! I'm a bit heavier and I'm fine with it! Do you think I care if I weigh a little more?"

Her mother paled at the mention of her sister but Rose didn't care. She was too angry. Every damn time she talked to her she made her feel bad.

"When was the last time you had a boyfriend, Rose?" her mother shot back. "Remember aunt Miri? She was the funniest and wittiest woman I have ever known - but she stayed alone until-" she broke off. "I don't care about your weight, but what about the men? You know how they are, they go after a pretty face and they like skinny women, Rose."

Rose stared at her, a lump forming in her throat. It- it was true, wasn't it? She wasn't skinny and she certainly wasn't pretty.

"You are 26 years old, Ro-Ro. I know that you want children one day. So you need to make an effort." Her mother got up and squeezed her arm. "I'm not doing this to hurt you, I just want to help you."

In this moment Hux returned with the food, he had managed to squeeze both bowls and the desserts on one single tray.

Her mother patted her arm and left.

Hux put the bowl with soup and the dessert in front of her. "Did you solve the problem with the calculation?" He sat down across from her, scanning her face with his eyes. "Are- are you alright?"

Rose gulped but the lump in her throat didn't go away. "No, I'm just- I think I caught a cold when I was training with Rey."

"Do you want me to get some tea with honey?" he asked with a worried expression on his face. She took in his beautiful forest-green eyes, his carefully trimmed beard and his bright ginger hair - he looked striking, absolutely striking. The slim dark dark green sweater he was wearing complimented his pale skin and his hair colour. One of the most handsome men she had ever seen, and so brilliant too, and kind and considerate.

What did he see when he looked at her? A short, round-faced, plump woman wearing a shirt with machine oil on it. Dark hair and dark-brown eyes like half the galaxy. She wasn't even nice, she was self-centred and sometimes forgot about his feelings, like when she had talked about her mother.

Why was he even with her? The answer was simple, of course - because he had no choice. There weren't that many people that spoke with him… at least in the beginning. These days he sometimes even talked to others, there were only a few Rebels left that resented him from the bottom of their hearts.

But now? It was only a question of time before he made friends. Other friends than her. He would leave her, and why wouldn't he? There were prettier men and women on the base, people who weren't short and hadn't a few kilos too much.

She pulled herself together and forced herself to smile. "Thank you, but I'm fine."

He looked like he wasn't sure if he should believe her but he didn't ask further.

That day Rose didn't eat her pudding.

.

-o-

.

Hux checked his chronometer. It was time for dinner. He deactivated his pad and put it in his dark grey bag. "Come on, Rose. There is meatloaf on the menu tonight. We need to be quick or the meat will be gone before we even get in line."

She barely looked up from the prototype she was working on. "I got to finish this, I'm kind of in a flow right now. You go without me, alright?"

"Uh, I can wait up if you want - I'm not much of a meat eater anyway. We can go later."

"No, you go ahead," she almost sounded annoyed.

"If you insist," he said slowly, insecure how to read her mood. Perhaps he was too clingy.

He ventured into the Cantina and spotted Captain Finn and Commander Dameron. He joined them and pointed at an empty chair. "Is this seat taken?"

"It's not," replied Finn. "Where's Rose? Doesn't she know that today there is meatloaf on the menu?"

Hux placed his bag on the chair and straightened his shirt. "She is working on something and asked me to go ahead. I'll ask the cook to save a plate for her for later."

"Good idea, she loves that stuff," said Finn. "Especially the sauce."

Hux nodded and got in line.

A few days later Hux checked his chrono to see if it was time for lunch. When he wanted to point out that it was soon time he realised that Rose hadn't joined him for lunch or dinner for a while now. In the evening she rarely visited him anymore and if she did she seemed distracted and left early. At times she even dimmed the light.

This was what he had anticipated: she was losing her interest in him. And why should she not? She was a genius tinkerer with the most beautiful smile, a woman who made everybody around her happy with her gentle, witty words and who had the most mesmerizing dark-brown eyes, silky hair and amazing curves.

What did she see when she looked at him? A sickly, pasty man with ugly ginger hair, a scrawny chest and thin legs, and on top all of that, he had been her enemy for years. No doubt she regretted getting involved with him in the first place. Perhaps this was her way of slowly getting rid of him?

He'd always known that it would end, how could it not? But he was still surprised that the very thought of not being able to touch her, kiss her made his heart ache. He blinked a few times. He had to pull himself together, it was immature to make it harder than it already was.

He looked again at the chrono, the minutes went by, lunch time was coming closer. Should he ask her to join him? Stars knew he wanted to, because- what if she agreed? They could laugh and talk like they used to... Or should he accept her decision and leave her be?

He chewed on his lower lip. What was the right thing to do?

No, that was the wrong question. He sat up straighter. This was a problem like every other one. And the first thing to every solution was to identify the root of the problem. Yes, he would apply logic as always.

First, he needed to ask her if she wanted to go to lunch with him. Option 1: She agreed and that meant that she still enjoyed his company. Option 2: She didn't agree which would lead to the next question: Did- he paused before he finished the thought - did she still enjoy his company? Again there would be two possible outcomes.

Yes, this was just a problem like the others. He felt that his heart was pumping a little faster and the palms of his hands became a little sweaty.

"Rose," he began, then he gulped. "How about lunch?" She raised her head from the prototype, she looked pale and miserable. He felt an iron grip around his heart.

"I'm not that hungry, I'll keep working. You should go though."

So, option 2. "Do you- well, don't you want to go to lunch with me anymore?" Her eyes went wide and he quickly added. "You seem to be avoiding my company for the past few days."

His heart was hammering in his chest as he waited for her answer, he clenched his hands to fists and tried his best to appear calm.

She blinked a few times and sniffled. "I'm sorry, Hux. I didn't mean to avoid you- it's just…" she trailed off and wiped over her eyes. "I'm eating too much."

Hux unclenched his fists and stared at her. Of all the possible options he had prepared this definitely wasn't on his list. "What?"

She sniffled again. "I know that I gained a bit of weight and I- I thought I could lose it if I just stopped eating so much." A single tear ran down her cheek. "I'm sorry that I can't pull myself together. I'm just so tired and hungry."

He jumped up to his feet and crossed the room to take her into his arms, holding her close to him. "I didn't notice that you were so unhappy," he whispered. "I'm sorry."

She returned the hug and buried her face in his chest. "I was just so scared that you won't like me anymore." Her voice was slightly muffled.

"How could I not?" He let her go and gave her a kiss. "I love you, Rose. I love your brilliant mind, your genius ideas and of course every other part of you. I don't care if you gain or lose weight." He kissed her again. "I was scared that you got tired of me."

She sniffled and kissed him back. "We really suck at communication, don't we?" She laughed and cried at the same time.

He blinked his own tears away. "I'm afraid so."

"I love you too," she said with a broad smile.

Hearing her say the words made him feel light-headed. "You- you don't have to say it back."

"I want to." She kissed him again. "I love you, Armitage, because you make me happy with your dry wit, with your smart brains and of course because you're good in the sack."

He laughed. "Aren't you supposed to say something about my eyes?"

She grinned at him. "Come on, let's get some lunch."

Rose relaxed and was in a good mood when they sat down at a table with their trays.

"Ah, this looks delicious," she said and shoved a forkful of rice into her mouth and chewed. "How is the programming of the droid coming along?"

"I think I can finish it today. Then we can start with the test runs. Did you fix the problem with the prototype?"

"Sure, the power converters were too weak to handle the charge. I just updated them, now they should be fine."

"Did you use the 117er port?"

She laughed. "Of course not, you're such a tease. I used the 118er like you suggested."

He smiled, seeing her back to her old self made him happy. It was odd to imagine the galaxy without her, why hadn't he seen it when he first met her back on the Supremacy? He must have been blind.

Come to think about it, he really had been blind to so many things. The Order, his role in all of it and of course about the Rebels. He hadn't even seen the brightest star in the galaxy, he thought as he watched her devour the rice like a starved nexu.

Stars, he really loved her.