A/N: I started this ages ago as a very self-indulgent fic with my two favorite characters. There is not a point to it except I love Demyx and Vanitas

This challenge is super old so I think this'll be the last fic I post for this one, and I'll mark it as complete. Hope you enjoy!

"You're kidding me," Vanitas drawled, glaring up at Saix through his helmet. "I thought I was the kid here. Now you're telling me I have to babysit that loser?"

Saix's unyielding stare already answered the question, but the blue-haired man elaborated anyway.

"I 'babysat' him for approximately seven years. You can handle him for thirty minutes."

Yeah, like they could actually get in and out of the grocery store in that short a time. But Vanitas just rolled his eyes and stalked away. It would be useless to argue assignments with Saix. He'd already made that mistake once.

Demyx was playing some obnoxious tune on his instrument while lounging on one of the Gray Area couches. Vanitas wished he had time to slack off like that, but noooo, apparently he was one of the special Norts, while Demyx had gotten "benched." Which apparently meant he could play his dumb music whenever he wanted and didn't have any responsibilities beyond cleaning the Castle and buying groceries. Only he couldn't even do that by himself, on account of him wasting all of the food money on seventy-six boxes of Pop-Tarts last time.

"Come on, loser." He snapped his fingers, opening a dark corridor. Demyx yawned.

"Really? Already? I swear we just went shopping, like, last week."

"Yeah. Which means it's time to go again," Vanitas replied in his most patronizing voice.

"Sheesh, you don't have to be so mean about it." Demyx dismissed his instrument before standing and popping probably every joint in his body. "Where's old X-Face want us to go this week? Twilight Town? Radiant Garden?"

Vanitas scowled down at the shopping list Saix had given him. If it wasn't for the man's impeccable handwriting, he would've been sure he read it wrong.

"It says… The Caribbean."

"The Caribbean? But they don't have grocery stores there. Just little shops and stuff. It's cute and all if you like feeling like you're back in the dark ages, but they don't have any Pop-Tarts. Like, at all."

"Maybe that's why, then," Vanitas mumbled to himself, rubbing the metal piece of his helmet. "Let's just get this over with."

XXX

"Hey, look at this one!" Demyx beamed, scooping up a white crab. "It's kinda cute, isn't it?"

"It might look cute boiled in a pot and served with butter," Vanitas commented, which was enough to make Demyx sigh and set the squirming crab back down. "Come on, we're just here for groceries."

"Ahh, lighten up." Demyx threw an arm around his shoulder. "The longer we take, the less time we have to spend back at the Castle with the other boring Norts!"

"But the longer we take, the more time I have to spend with you." He shoved Demyx's arm away, heading up the beach.

"Hey, that hurts, you know," Demyx called, quickening his pace to catch up. "I thought you might not be as bad as the rest of them. Y'know, since you're just a kid and all."

"I'm not a kid. I'm a heart of pure darkness."

"At least you have a heart," he said it offhand, but there was a trace of wistfulness there. "I think I was growing one back when I was in the Organization—well, the first Organization. But now…" He laughed quietly. "I'm just an empty jar for Xehanort to throw his heart in. And he doesn't even need me. Wonder what he's gonna make me do when his big plan is over…"

"I don't really care." Vanitas stubbornly kept his back to the other man. If Demyx expected sympathy, he was looking in the wrong place. Not having a heart sounded like bliss compared to the torment of emotions that Vanitas felt on a daily basis.

"Alright, fine." Demyx stepped in front of him, walking backwards up the beach, where Vanitas had no choice but to look at him. "What do you care about? There's gotta be something."

He stopped. "Why do you care what I care about?"

He had to admit, he was curious. No one else in the Organization spared him much attention. Vexen had done a few tests on him, thinking that somehow it would help him in developing the two new replicas. Larxene sometimes sneered in disgust if he got too close. Marluxia sometimes stared at him with a knowing glint in his eye. Beyond that, Vanitas might as well have been invisible. That was how he liked it, though. If no one paid attention to him, then no one could stop him from his real goal: finding his other half.

"I guess I don't." Demyx shrugged. "Don't have a real heart to care with. But you do."

Vanitas found his hand creeping up to his heart. He quickly snapped it back to his side.

"I don't care about anything," he lied. The last thing he needed to do was spill his secret plan to merge with Ventus to the biggest loudmouth in the Organization.

He shoved past Demyx and finally caught sight of the small port town—Port Royal, if his map was right. The place didn't look as impressive as the name sounded.

"Sure you don't," Demyx said knowingly, brushing sand off of his glove.

"You are benched, right?" Vanitas raised an eyebrow under his helmet as the man walked beside him.

"Benched and proud of it." He grinned.

"Then I won't get in trouble if I 'accidentally' off you, right?"

Demyx's face suddenly flashed to mortal terror. For a guy who claimed not to have a heart, he sure was expressive.

"Uh—there's no telling if Xehanort will still need me for… something!" He made up. "Sora might take out one of the others too early, or—or if you do, you'll get stuck on permanent grocery duty!"

"Hmm. That's a convincing enough argument. For now, anyway."

"Jeez, someone needs to lighten up…"

They'd reached the edge of town by now—close enough to get odd looks from most of the citizens. Of course, people here were a little smarter than in say, Twilight Town; they knew not to openly call them out on their dark outfits. People forced their eyes down as they bustled by, talking about fishing or pirates or crabs. From the few snippets he caught, it sounded like the crabs were becoming some kind of infestation. Maybe it actually wouldn't be such a bad idea to take a few home for Ansem to cook up.

"You gonna take that helmet off?" Demyx whispered out the side of his mouth as they walked.

"Why?" He frowned. Sure, he was getting some unpleasant looks, but the helmet couldn't be much more conspicuous than Demyx's disaster of a hairstyle.

"Well you're going to actually have to talk to people to buy food here. No self-checkouts," Demyx explained. "They might be willing to ignore you for now, but they'll be suspicious if you try to buy anything looking like that."

"Oh, but they'll just ignore the black leather coats?"

"I can take care of that." Demyx winked. "Just watch the master at work."

Vanitas doubted the man was a master of anything – except being an idiot, of course. But he slipped behind a stone building before he could protest.

"I swear, if he ditches and leaves me to do this by myself—"

But he reappeared moments later, looking… nothing like himself. It took Vanitas a few blinks to realize what he'd done. Dirt was smeared across his face. His coat was unzipped, revealing a stained white shirt that could've passed as normal here—normal for a sleazy sailor, maybe, but normal. His sleeves were rolled to look cuffed, and red strips of cloth had been tied around his waist and hairline. It almost managed to make his hair look natural. Almost.

"Where did you even get that stuff?"

"Pretty good, huh? I always carry a few fabric scraps on me. Never know when you'll need a last-minute disguise. Course, it doesn't usually work on Saix anymore, but sometimes I can get away with it if they send Ansem or the little Nort to track me down." He spun, giving Vanitas a full look at the modified outfit. "Alright, your turn!"

"My wha—!"

Demyx tugged him into the shadows and promptly wiggled off his helmet.

"Hey!" He protested uselessly.

"Pffff, that's what you look like?" Demyx laughed while tying a bandanna over Vanitas's hair. "Ha, no wonder you keep that helmet on all the time."

"Yeah, I know the idiot we're fighting looks like me." He scowled, which only made Demyx laugh harder. "He's connected to my other half."

"He what?" Demyx's head tilted slightly, but he kept adjusting Vanitas's coat, folding the sleeves and tying another sash around his waist. "Other what now?"

"My other—" Vanitas sighed. "You wouldn't know, right. Nevermind. It's none of your business."

"Like, your somebody?" He still asked. "No, that can't be right. You said you've got a heart."

"It's complicated. And personal." He snatched his helmet back from his hands, but didn't put it on. Demyx might have a point about that, at least. He wanted this over with quickly, and the disguise might help it go more smoothly. He tossed the helmet into a dark corridor.

"Alright, I get it. We've all got our secrets." Demyx smiled mysteriously. Then without warning, he wiped a smear of dirt across Vanitas's cheek. He choked for a second, unused to feeling anything make contact with his face.

"Wha—what was that for?" He stammered, rubbing the spot with the back of his gloved hand.

"People are pretty gross here. Trust me, this'll help you blend in. Oh, and lose the gloves too." He flashed his own bare hands. "They look dumb with your sleeves rolled up."

"Not the only thing here that looks dumb," he muttered. But Demyx was right, much as he hated to admit it. He peeled the dark leather from his fingers, grimacing as the slight breeze touched his skin. It had taken enough time to get used to wearing his coat without the suit underneath, but this was worse. His skin wasn't meant to see the light.

"Let's go before I get a sunburn."

XXX

Demyx had been right: no one looked twice at them. The man had leaned across a barrel, flashed a few smiles, and bargained down the price of their lemons and cabbage and sea bass to just a few handfuls of munny. It had taken a few different trips to different outdoor shopkeepers, but by the end of it they had almost everything on the grocery list and still a couple hundred munny to spare.

"How did you do that?" Vanitas demanded as they left the center of town.

"Do what?" Demyx asked, tossing the lightened munny pouch and catching it again.

"You basically stole from those people, and they didn't even get mad at you."

Demyx laughed. "It's not stealing, Vani. People here like to bargain. Wouldn't work too great on other worlds though, so don't go trying it anywhere else."

"So you've been here before?" He asked while squinting down at the grocery list. Cantaloupe, check, eel, check…

"Yeah. Luxord and I came here a few times back in the old Org. Makes a pretty good slack-off spot… but don't tell Saix I said that!"

"Don't worry. I don't care." Vanitas snorted. Then he noticed one ingredient on the list that wasn't crossed through. "Hang on. We have to go back, we missed the scallops."

"Ooh, Ansem's making scallops?" Demyx grinned. "I haven't had those in ages."

"Guess so. But not if we don't go back and buy them."

"Pfff. You don't have to buy scallops."

"So we are going to steal?" Vanitas asked, a little excited. He hadn't had to steal food since before he'd died, and while he definitely didn't miss it, the thrill of sneaking meals away from unsuspecting idiots had been fun. Sometimes. When he didn't wait until his stomach had gnawed a hole in itself, anyway.

"Oh, Vanitas." Demyx put a serious hand on his shoulder, shaking his head. "There's so many ways to get what you want besides stealing. You gotta learn to use your head."

"Ow," Vanitas said instinctively as Demyx poked his forehead.

"C'mon, you're gonna like this!" He let go and dashed off down the beach. Vanitas hadn't realized he was capable of moving that fast. Before he knew it, Demyx was stripping off his coat and dropping it into the sand. His boots and socks went next.

Vanitas coughed, looking away. "I don't know what you think I like, but trust me, I'm a fan of everyone keeping their clothes on."

Demyx burst out laughing. "Oh come on, we're not going skinny dipping! I just can't have the coat and boots dragging me down in the water."

"In the water?" Vanitas echoed, feeling stupid. He didn't know what "skinny dipping" was, or why they needed to go in the water at all. Unless this was some elaborate, not-funny joke.

"Yeah! How else are we going to get scallops?"

"At the store?"

"But that would be so boring. This way will be way more awesome."

"And stupid," Vanitas muttered, finally risking a glance back at Demyx. He hadn't stripped naked, but he had his pants rolled up around his knees, and everything else but his red headband was on the ground.

"Come on, Vani! You can't tell me you don't want to go swimming. It's not every day X-Face sends us to the beach!"

"Swimming?" He blinked.

"Yeah! Wait—don't tell me you've never been swimming before." Demyx gaped at the blank expression on Vanitas's face.

"Let's just say it's… been a long time." Like, before-he'd-been-ripped-out-of-Ventus long. He wasn't sure he even remembered how. Sure, the cool water had felt nice in his fragments of memory, but he doubted it would be so pleasant now. He wasn't that person anymore.

"Then you have to try it! Besides, we'll be able to carry way more scallops with both of us working together."

"Working together, huh?" Vanitas raised an eyebrow. "So you're not going to ditch me as soon as I get in the water?"

Demyx laughed nervously. "Whaaaat? What would give you that idea?"

Vanitas just crossed his arms and glared.

"Fine, fine, I know my reputation. But trust me, I love the ocean! You're not gonna catch me leaving to slack off if we're already slacking off."

"I thought we were finding scallops."

"Eh, we're doing that too." He waved a hand dismissively. "Now come on! Ditch the coat and let's go!"

"...Fine," he finally grumbled. It wasn't like he'd be able to convince Demyx to go back and finish shopping, and he couldn't leave him at the beach by himself. He might never come back.

Besides, Demyx might have one thing right: there wasn't any reason to hurry back to the Castle.

He shrugged off his coat, wincing at how the sun glared down on his bare shoulders. How could Demyx stand having his entire chest exposed? Vanitas resolved to at least leave his white tank top on, even if it would just get soggy. He did ditch the boots and socks and rolled up his pants like Demyx though; he wasn't about to squelch every step back to the Castle.

"Alright," Vanitas breathed out a sigh when he was ready.

"Perfect!" Demyx grinned and dragged him by the hand to the water's edge. The surf washed up against his bare feet, making him shiver. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all. What if he didn't remember how to swim, or Demyx did leave him and he got stuck out there—

Then you'll just make a dark corridor and leave, idiot. He was too strong to be scared of something as stupid as a little bit of water.

"Okay, follow me. Scallops like pretty shallow water, so we won't have to go out too deep. Oh, and keep a look out for seaweed, they love that stuff."

Demyx waddled off into the lapping waves, leaving Vanitas to stumble behind.

"How do you know so much about scallops, anyway?" He asked, wincing at the loud splashes each step made. He was used to walking silently; not that he needed to be stealthy right now, but still.

"It's complicated. And personal," Demyx said in a mocking approximation of Vanitas's low voice.

"Ha ha. Very funny."

Demyx laughed. "The real answer isn't that exciting. My uncle was a fisher back when I was a somebody. He took me out on his boat all the time, taught me stuff like that. Then we'd take everything we caught back to my dad, and he'd cook it up for us." He smiled wistfully. "Yep, those were the good ol' days."

It was difficult for Vanitas to imagine Demyx having a regular life. Difficult to imagine him doing anything besides playing his instrument all day, actually.

"That's… nice, I guess," he said to fill the silence. He certainly wasn't going to fill it by offering anything about his own past. Those secrets stayed with him.

"Yeah." He sighed, then grinned widely again. "Come on, we're not gonna catch any scallops standing around here!"

He took off into the deeper water, somehow managing to barely splash at all. Almost like the ocean just parted to let him through. Well, his element was water, Vanitas guessed.

"I thought you said we weren't going deep!"

"This isn't deep!" Demyx called, though he was now up to his chest. Luckily the waves were calm today.

Vanitas begged to differ, but he swam towards Demyx—he wasn't quite tall enough to stand where the other man could. Slimy grass brushed his toes; was that the seaweed Demyx was talking about?

"You alright?" Demyx asked at the look of disgust on Vanitas's face.

"I'll be fine as soon as we get this over with."

"Man, you have really got to learn how to slack off more. You sound just like a mini X-Face."

"I do not sound like Saix," he protested.

"Suuuuure. I bet you couldn't have fun if you tried."

"I could too. I just don't think wandering around getting soaking wet is 'fun'."

"Okay, what would you rather do then?" Demyx asked, likely just for the sake of argument. It was hard to focus on talking to him while also treading water; he had an unfair advantage.

The question was easy, though. He'd rather be trying to find Ventus. But… he hadn't had any good leads yet, and the Organization has expressly forbidden him from seeking out Sora. So until Vanitas could sneak away, he was stuck. He briefly considered ditching Demyx and going now, but Ansem would kick both their butts if they didn't show up with all of the groceries.

"I guess I'd rather be… fighting," he said instead. "It's been a while since I got to spar with anyone."

"Well, you won't get a fight out of me," Demyx said, sticking his tongue out in disgust. "Unless you want a splash fight, anyway."

"Splash fight?"

Vanitas's only warning was Demyx's wide grin. Then a giant wave smacked him in the face.

He floundered backwards, muscle memory taking over to propel him back up to the surface. He gagged and spat saltwater out his mouth. That stuff burned! Was Demyx asking to get his butt kicked? He cackled like he thought Vanitas's pain was funny.

Well two could play at that game.

It didn't take much to tug at his already-flared anger. With just a slight nudge, a swarm of Jellyshades burst from him, swimming under the water to jolt Demyx's legs.

"Ow—hey! Ack!" He jerked his feet up, treading water with his arms. "What the—Vanitas! Make them—ack! Make them stop!"

Vanitas let him struggle for another second before calling back the Unversed. Demyx downed a hi-potion before glaring at Vanitas with a fire he'd never seen from the man before.

"What was that for?" He demanded. Vanitas wasn't one to be intimidated, though.

"You attacked me. What did you expect?"

"You think I—?" He coughed out a laugh. "Wow. You really don't know how to have fun. Guess I should've seen that coming…"

"That was supposed to be fun?"

"Forget it." Demyx turned away, waving an arm in exasperation. "I get why Saix sent you with me now. Even Larxene would've been a better deal."

"Get real. I didn't ask Saix to make me come." He was still treading water; he nearly slipped under and got a mouthful of saltwater again. "Besides, I doubt you could've gotten Larxene within three feet of the beach."

"...Okay, maybe not," he admitted, shoulders slumping. "Guess I can't blame you too much for being like the other Norts. If you're anything like Roxas was, you probably don't remember anything else. Can't imagine how much that would suck."

"I don't need your pity," Vanitas snapped. "And I do remember my life before. Not that it's done me any good."

Demyx turned back around, raising an eyebrow. "Really?"

"Yeah. Don't expect me to tell you about it, though. Can we please just get the scallops and be done?" He didn't normally resort to saying 'please,' but all this talking was exhausting enough without him having to swim while he was at it.

"Alright, fine." Demyx sighed. "But first I need your shirt."

"My shirt? Why?"

"You made your monsters electrocute me; you don't get to ask why."

Vanitas grumbled but did as he was told. Maybe that had been a little overkill. Demyx was too stupid to have really been trying to hurt him. Either way, playing along was probably the fastest way to get this over with.

He had to swim back a little ways until his toes could touch the squishy sand. Then he awkwardly peeled the soggy tank top off, wincing as the water touched his bare skin. That was an instinctive reaction though; it actually didn't feel so bad.

"Here." He wadded the shirt into a ball and tossed it at Demyx, who managed to catch it before it could hit his face. Unfortunately.

"Thanks." His voice didn't sound thankful. He probably just wanted Vanitas to stop being mad at him. He wasn't really worth the effort, anyway.

Demyx dove beneath the water, and for half a second, Vanitas really did think he'd leave him half-naked out in the ocean. He floundered, splashing up salty waves until Demyx's head poked back up.

"Chill out, Vani. You're scaring off all the scallops." Demyx had knotted the tank top at the bottom, so its straps functioned like the handles on a bag. The fabric bulged lumpily with his haul—a few handfuls of shells.

"So you just decided to pick up seashells instead?" Vanitas snorted.

This time it was Demyx's turn to roll his eyes. The motion was so exaggerated, it had to be making fun of him. "You don't know what a scallop looks like, do you?"

"Of course I…" No. He knew it was a food. A seafood, specifically, but… "We're going to eat those?" He stuck his tongue out at the bag of shells. And Demyx liked them?

The other man laughed; Vanitas could see him holding his stomach under the clear water. "Not the shells, silly. They've got meat inside. Trust me, it's good!"

Vanitas did not trust him. His eyes stayed narrowed as Demyx dove back under the water, collecting more and more of the shelled creatures. Ansem was a surprisingly decent cook, but how could even he make something that came out of that taste good?

"There." Demyx smiled in satisfaction. Shells fluttered in his makeshift back before he held it up high enough for the water to drain out.

"I'm not getting that shirt back, am I." Vanitas sighed.

"Just wear your coat bare-chested. You'll look even more piratey that way!"

He rolled his eyes and started trudging back to shore.

"Hey, wait for me!"

It wasn't until they were strolling back to the dark corridor, arms full of their groceries, that Vanitas realized something. Demyx had been the one to do all of the work. He'd bought the groceries without help. Vanitas hadn't even been roped into the scallop hunting.

And he hadn't been berated for not working hard enough. Demyx was whistling now, having recovered his good humor after their near-fight in the water. Vanitas examined him from the corner of his eye. How did he come to be part of the Organization, with his laidback personality and reputation for slacking off? Possibly more importantly, how had Xehanort not crushed the spirit he had left? He said he had no heart, but…

Vanitas shook his head. Why did he even care? Just because Demyx was less of a jerk than the others didn't make them friends.

But for all of his complaining, and even with the sunburn blossoming on the back of his neck, today hadn't been as terrible as he expected.

Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if Saix gave him grocery duty with Demyx again.