Part Two: The Return of The Jedi
She was dead...dead, and there was no one to blame but himself. He should have done more, arrived earlier, fought harder. But how can you fight harder against 'All The Sith'? He certainly wasn't a Jedi...
And he had been thrown away, as if he were nothing, laid unconscious at the bottom of a pit. But even so...he should have saved her. Perhaps he still could...
As he looked over her lifeless form, in his arms, right there but now so far away. That was always how he felt about her, always right there, in his mind, yet so far away. He had decided and he knew what it would cost, after his Life Force had been sucked down to next to nothing and his body so badly injured. It was his Life Force that kept him alive after he fell, and he didn't think he had much left to spare.
But he had already decided, what business did he have surviving anyway?
He brought her up to himself, hugging her, just in case...just in case he didn't get the chance after. Would he even get to see her eyes blink back into life? If he didn't...he believed it would be enough just to know that they would.
He settled her back into his arms, like before, and closed his eyes, placing a gentle hand on her abdomen. He took a breath, focusing...
"Ben..." it was like a whisper, far away, yet right there. It wasn't her though, but he did know the voice, all too well. And he had hated it for so long, he chose to ignore it. Whatever he wanted, it didn't matter now. "Ben..!" It wasn't a question, it wasn't a statement, but a demand. His eyes fluttered, fighting to open, but he had made his choice. He forced himself to keep his eyes closed.
"Ben?" A much softer voice called out to him now and he flinched, squeezing his eyes shut. To try to block out the pain that played with his shallow, already broken, heart. His eyes betrayed him, and opened, wide, looking up at his surroundings. They stopped on the two figures just feet from him, tinted in light and shadow. As if they weren't really there, just part of his imagination.
He scurried back, Rey's lifeless body falling to the ground, he stopped, because he needed to save her and the longer he waited the harder it would be. But his instinct of fight or flight was stronger than his will to be good and save her. He stood, lamely, from all his injuries, and stared at both of them. He felt the tingle in his skin from the Force, and the conflict in his heart. Did he hate them? Did he not?
His mother, he knew...no, he could never hate her, she was the only one who could reach him in this moment, but Luke...so much hurt, so much anger still boiled in his blood. Perhaps it would never go away...
Luke's Force Ghost took several steps forward, eyes traveled down to Rey, he wanted to reach down and protect her, but he was the one in need of protection now, no one else.
"Get away from her!" He still spat out, despite his own thoughts. His anger spilling out. Luke stopped, looked up.
"You don't mean that," said Luke, in a way that both infuriated him and also confused him.
"I do," He instead. "She gave her life to save everyone else...and you let her."
"She fought bravely. She did what had to be done, with out question. A true Jedi." A true Jedi, someone who gives their lives blindly for 'the greater good,' if this was Luke's way of criticizing the path he had taken, then let him. He would not give his life blindly, he would give his life, but only for her. And here now, they were wasting his time.
"Why have you come here?"
"Why do you think?"
He didn't have time for tricks or mind games. He wanted to get this over with. This was only prolonging the inevitable. "To put in my face that you all have died and I am to blame?"
"You are not to blame, Kylo Ren is to blame."
"Are we not the same?" He questioned this. Luke opened his mouth to speak, but stopped.
"No..." she says, his mother, walking closer. Passing her brother, stepping around Rey, to get to him. "You are not, you are my son." Fresh tears burned his eyes as his mother touched his face. But her hand was cold, distant, almost like it was not there at all, and somehow that made his heart hurt worse. "If I had the choice to do it all again, I would still give my life to save yours. Always."
The pain he felt, not even in his body, but in his soul, the little he had left, was almost too much to bear. He had failed her, he knew this much to be true, and yet, after it all, she still loved him? She had given her life, the last bit of Life Force she had left, to reach him. And she did this, not on a fools mission or taking orders from a higher power, for some greater reason, but out of love, love for him...
"Mother, I..."
"I know," and this was said, with a little smirk upon her lips. These words struck him, reminding him of his father, who had come to him only hours ago, who was he to deserve this, after all the pain he had caused? He supposed, in his final moments, she would be comforting to him.
"I have to..." he turned back towards Rey and saw Luke leaning over her. His eyes traveled over him, wondering.
"It is a brave thing you plan to do," said Leia. "I sense so much good in you," he watched as Luke placed a hand over her forehead. His mother took his face in his hands and turned him back toward her, cupping his cheeks. "But there is another way..."
A surge of energy, like an ice bath, was running through him, waking every vein, touching every corner of him. Like hot metal melding back together, he felt his broken bones healing. He took in a sharp breath, shaky, and the force of it all made his eyes flicker shut and then open again, slowly.
His mother took a step back, a pleasant smile on her lips. But then, behind him was a gasp, he turned around, quickly, to see Luke standing back, his mother went to stand next to him, and now, the slow rise and fall of Rey's chest could be seen, her eyes were closed now, no longer unseeing.
Shock, first and then the thrill of seeing her alive, engulfed him, as he rushed to her side, falling upon his mended knees. He reached out, warmth, he took her into his arms again. Wordless, because he had no words to say, even if he did, he didn't know how to express them. He hugged her to himself, fresh tears welling in his eyes, yet again, but this time, not of sorrow, but of happiness.
He looked up, wanting to at least try to express some form of thanks, but when he did this, the figures of his Mother and Uncle were gone, gone as if they were never even there. He stared off, at where they had been, in confusion, in awe...it hadn't all been a dream? An hallucination? Had it...?
"Ben...?" He heard this for the second time, but this voice was weak and tired, yet very much alive. He closed his eyes, feeling the warmth of her in his arms and feeling the gratefulness in his heart. Thank you, he thought, as a warm smile folded into his lips, and he opened his eyes once more, and looked down.