Rose let the words sink in. No wonder that he had so a low self-esteem, everything in his life was tainted, toxic even. Until he chose to become a Resistance spy of course.

"You can't change your past, but you can choose a different future," she said. "You already did by helping us. You can choose to be different than your father."

He pulled the corners of his mouth down. "It took me too long. I'm not like Captain Finn who knew right from wrong even though he had been raised by the Order. And I didn't become a spy out of the goodness of my heart." He straightened his parka and brushed snowflakes from his shoulders. "I was frustrated because Ren demoted me, because he was more focussed on Sith relics than bringing order to the Galaxy, I hated him and I wanted him to lose. The boy… the boy was just the last straw."

"I don't believe that, if you were just a hateful man you wouldn't have been this nice or compassionate. You think that your father would've fed Millie? Or that he would've bothered with small talk?"

"I don't think so."

"Listen, I don't pretend that this makes the horrible stuff you did go away. But you have to start somewhere, don't you? You can't wait for some big heroic chance to save the galaxy. The small stuff means something too."

"And you think a child will make up for something too?"

"No, it won't. It's not his or her job to make up for anything. What I'm saying is that you need to think about this carefully. It's impossible to know what will happen, all we can do is do what we think is right."

Hux had a pensive look on his face. "You are correct, we need to think this carefully through."

Rose shivered. "Come on, let's head back before we freeze to death out here." She went to him and gave him a kiss. "We'll be alright."

He gave her his usual half-smile, she got the feeling that he wasn't sure if he should believe her.

Having talked about it made Rose much calmer as they stomped back to the base. There was no need to panic, she told herself over and over again. They talked about it and now they just had to let the news settle in. And what better way was there than to work the rest of the day?

They both worked as efficiently as always, for a few hours her mind was taken off their predicament and they could focus on good, clean tech - things that were easy to fix. In the afternoon her mother showed up, putting a plate of sliced fruit in front of Hux while staring her dead in the eye. Rose sighed but she was too preoccupied to say anything. Hux on the other hand seemed thrilled, although he only ate a third of what was actually on the plate.

She wondered what her mother would say about her having a baby. Scratch that, she wondered what all of them would say. And she couldn't blame them - but to her it still made sense. She liked being with him, she wished they didn't have to exchange hidden kisses and creep around the base to visit each other.

But then again… what was stopping them? It was their… her decision to keep it a secret. She stared at her pad without being able to read a single line.

It was all part of the same complex problem. She wanted to be with him but didn't want anybody to know because it was kriffing General Hux she had fallen in love with. Even with or without the pregnancy - what was her plan? To keep sneaking around until somebody uncovered the truth like Finn had? Or to wait for a couple of years until the big reveal?

She knew the answer of course. She just had to admit it. It was her life and her body - she wasn't supposed to care what others think about her… but it wasn't that easy.

Stars! She kind of wished she could talk to Leia about it - her advice had nudged her in the right direction before. But she couldn't just show up in the General's office and pour her heart out, could she?

"Rose?" said Hux.

She looked up from her pad. "Huh?"

"Do you think you could ask Master Rey to lend us her lightsaber for scans?" He cleared his throat. "I would ask her myself but I think it would appear, uh, less suspicious if the request came from you."

"Of course, I think I'll go right now. I'm still kind of mulling everything over and walking a bit helps me clear my head." She deactivated her pad and grabbed her parka. Rey was probably outside training.

"Alright, I think I'll go for a cup of tea in the meanwhile."

Rey was indeed training, not outside but in a small corner of one of the hangars where she had gathered small weights and a bar to do pull-ups.

She was hanging from the bar head down while trying to move a weight with the Force. When she saw Rose she made an elegant spin and jumped off the bar.

"Hi Rose! Wanna train?"

Rose laughed. "You really think I could do even one pull-up? You flatter me."

"I think you're a lot tougher than you give yourself credit for." Rey took a towel and wiped over her face.

That gave Rose pause. Did Rey really think she was tough? That was something coming from the fiercest warrior she had ever met. She could feel herself blush a little. "Uh, thanks I guess. So, listen, I have a request… would you lend me your lightsaber? Hux and I have an idea and it would help us if we had more data."

She picked her hands and watched Rey, she would probably frown and ask her what for she needed her precious, sacred Jedi weapon and then-

"Sure, no problem," Rey unclipped the lightsaber hanging from her belt and threw it to Rose.

She caught it awkwardly and stared at it with eyes wide open. "R-really?"

"I trust your judgment, Rose. If you think this will help you, you can have it for your tests. Just don't open it, the core balance is a bit fragile."

Rose gaped at her. Just like that? She really trusted her judgement so much? Suddenly she felt bad that she was keeping secrets from her friend. "Well, if- if you say so."

"What is it, Rose?" Rey asked with a furrowed brow.

Should she just tell her? Force knew that she wanted to… "I'm pregnant," she said before she could stop herself. But just saying these words made her feel lighter, as if a heavy blanket was weighing her down and she had just pulled it down a bit.

Rey beamed at her. "Congratulations!" Then she said a little quieter. "Congratulations are in order, aren't they? Back on Jakku there always was a big feast."

Rose smiled a little. It felt good seeing somebody being truly happy for her. Even if she herself wasn't certain if it really called for a feast. "It's complicated."

"Why is it complicated?"

"I'm not sure if I should keep it. Don't you have some sage Jedi advice for situations like these?"

"Believe it or not, Jedi aren't good with pregnancies. From what I hear getting a woman pregnant caused Anakin Skywalker to become a Sith."

"Ah yes, there is that," said Rose with a chuckle.

"Leia once said to me that Jedi were too dogmatic anyway. She told me to listen to my heart. So whatever you decide you just need to follow your heart."

Rose sighed. "That's what kind of got me in this mess. I mean… it wasn't a mistake but-"

"It's complicated."

"Aren't you curious who the father is?"

Rey shrugged. "Men are overrated in these matters. It's the mother that counts - at least it was in Jakku. That's why all inheritances were passed down along matrilinear lines, sometimes it was hard to know who the father was but it was always pretty clear who the mother was. From what I hear it's different in some parts of the Galaxy."

"That's true, well-"

"It's Hux, isn't it?" asked Rey nonchalantly.

Rose gaped at her for a second time. "How did you know?"

"I felt it whenever you talked to each other or looked at each other, there was a lot of affection in the Force. A Jedi can sense the budding flower of lo-"

"Finn told you, didn't he?" asked Rose dryly.

Rey slumped her shoulder. "Yes, yes he told me pretty much the day he found out. I'm sorry. He asked me not to tell anybody." Rey smiled at Rose. "But what I said about Jakku is true. I still think we should throw a party."

Rose put the lightsaber in her bag. "I appreciate it, but I want to keep this private. Besides, I don't even know if I will keep it." Again she picked her hands. "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"What did you think when Finn told you - I mean, honestly."

Rey put the towel down and sat cross-legged on a crate. "Honestly? Well, I was surprised. I mean it was obvious that the two of you were getting along and that you made a good team. It just didn't occur to me that you two would actually hook up."

Rose looked down on her hands. "What- what would you say if I told you that- uh, well, I would like to be with him. Do you think that the others would think that I'm insane?"

Rey put her hand on Rose's shoulder. "Oh, Rose, of course you're insane."

"What?"

"Love is insanity, is it not?"

"That's not what I was hoping to hear."

"I know, but what am I supposed to say? That's okay? It's Hux we're talking about." She leaned back. "In the end it's your decision. My advice: Stop waiting for somebody to give you permission to do what you really want to do."

Rose stopped picking her hands. Rey was right. If she was being honest she already knew what she wanted to do. Deep in her heart she knew that she wanted to keep the child and also be together with Hux. That was not the decision she wasn't sure about. It was when she was supposed to tell her friends and her mother about it.

.

-o-

.

Hux sat in the Cantina and drank his tea. He thought about returning to the lab but he felt that he was too distracted to work efficiently. In the past few hours he caught himself more than usual staring at Rose.

She really said that she could imagine growing old with him. The thought never even occurred to him - but now that he thought about it he hadn't even been sure that he would live past 40. Let alone that he would find anybody who actually enjoyed his company.

Rose was right… like always. They weren't dreamers, they'd seen what the galaxy was like. They knew that luck could and would change eventually.

What were the chances that the vasectomy didn't work? Slim to none. He needed to get to the bottom of it - it was something he could apply logic to.

He could always rely on logic. He exhaled and leaned back in his chair. There were basically two options for the first dilemma: Either they got rid of it or not. Second dilemma: They could stay together or not.

Assumption 1: If they-

"Is this seat taken?"

Hux blinked and saw Captain Finn standing in front of him, holding a mug of caf in his hand.

"Uh, no. It's free, please sit down."

"You know I thought about leaving you alone but the way you were frowning and staring into empty space told me that you're mulling over something. So, want to talk about it?"

Hux sighed. "No, thank you."

"Fair enough."

They sat in silence for a few moments, then Finn cleared his throat. "Okay, I can't take it. It's about Rose, isn't it?"

"What makes you think that?" whispered Hux wide-eyed.

"Because your Sabacc face sucks when it comes to emotional stuff. And there is the fact that you two obviously had an argument - why else did she skip lunch and dinner so many times?"

Hux groaned. "It's complicated." He got up. "If you'll excuse me."

He left before Finn had a chance to reply.

In the evening he lay in his bed, thinking. As far as he could see he'd gone through every possible option. He analyzed every fact, taken into account what kind of results he expected from which option. Statistically speaking it was unlikely that he would ever meet an amazing woman like Rose again, and it was much less likely that said woman would fall for him - even if she had some lapse of judgement. So the facts were quite clear- oh, who was he kidding? This wasn't about arguments or logic.

He wanted to be with her - plain and simple. And yes, he was terrified, overwhelmed and at the same time curious what would happen if she decided to keep the child.

Perhaps- perhaps the child was nothing like him? The thought made him calmer. Her genes were bound to be more dominant than his, weren't they?

He chewed on his lower lip. It was impossible for the child to be like him, not with a woman like Rose, right?

The next morning he waited until they went for their usual break. They stepped outside with their teas in their hands and went to the tree trunks. He glanced around - nobody was to be seen.

"Have you thought about it?" he asked in a low voice.

"Yes, I barely slept to be honest. I kept mulling it over again and again." She blew on her hot steaming tea. "When I'm not panicking I know what I want."

He could feel that his hands started to sweat. "It's a difficult question, right?"

She smacked her lips. "Kriffing difficult."

He straightened his back and lifted his chin. "I- I want to be with you. I don't care if it's a secret. And I'm curious about the child… so…"

Her eyes went wide. "You really want me to keep it?"

His throat laced up. "Not if you don't want to of course. I mean, I know that-"

"I'm sorry, I was just surprised. I thought that you didn't want it."

"I admit that I'm still overwhelmed and scared. But I would like to keep it, yes."

She looked at him, blinking away tears. "Stars, I want to kiss you so badly."

He smiled sadly at her. "Me too. But we have to wait."

She sobered up a bit and averted her gaze to the snow-covered ground. "I'm sorry that I'm too much of a coward to simply admit it to my friends."

He took a sip of his tea. "It's alright."

She frowned. "No, it's not. It's not fair to you. I'll tell them… eventually. I just- I don't know. I just don't know how to say it."

"Really, I'm fine with it."

She exhaled and looked up to the sky. He followed her gaze and watched snowflakes slowly falling down from the grey sky.

"You can lie about it, if you want to. About who the father is I mean," he said in a soft voice. "I- I really don't mind."

She took his hand. "Armitage… don't say that. It gives me the impression that you're ashamed that it's yours."

He jerked his head around. "No, no of course I'm not - how could I? It's just- complicated."

They both looked back up to the sky and fell silent.

When she visited him that night, they were both hasty and greedy with their kisses and their touches.

Hux nibbled at her neck and kissed his way down to her beautiful tits, further down to her slightly bulging belly, kissing it while his right hand wandered down between her legs. She moaned as he brushed her folds and spread her legs. She was already quite wet when he began to massage her clit.

He crawled off the bed and pulled her towards the edge of the bed, he leaned down and started to suck her while slowly working his way in with two fingers. He quickly found the pace she liked and within minutes she clamped around his fingers as she came.

"Stars, that felt good," she panted.

His cock was still hard and aching from the lack of attention when he positioned himself between her legs, pushing in.

"Wait, let's turn around," she said and he quickly crawled on the bed, eager to feel her around his dick. He lay down and she settled on him, using her left hand to direct his leaking cock into her hot and wet pussy.

Hux gruned when she had lowered herself and grabbed her by her hips, starting to thrust in blind arousal. She throned over him, moving along with his quick pace, her full breasts were in his sight, so was her belly, her jet-black silky hair and her eyes- like hot plasma in the darkness of space. She looked like a fierce goddess.

He came within moments, ecstasy was searing through his body as she kept riding out his orgasm.

She leaned down and kissed him before she pulled back, causing his now flaccid cock to slide out of her. She got up and started to dress.

"Please, stay," he panted, still coming down from his climax. "Just for a bit."

She laughed. "It's a mess, you hate it when there's a mess."

"Please, just for a while," he repeated, fully aware how pathetic he sounded, how needy.

She stilled her movement and finally she slipped back into the bed. She snuggled up to him while he embraced her, burying his face in her neck.

They lay for a while next to each other without talking, then she took his hand and kissed his wrist. "I noticed your scars a while ago. Was it your father?"

"It's a long story."

"I don't mind long stories."

He exhaled, pulling her closer. "He thought that disciplining me would make me more tough. At least that's what I used to think. But I suspect that he was just a bully."

"I had this school friend… I think her mother hit her. Sometimes I visited her house to play or to do homework." She could still see the small, dark yellow painted house before her inner eye. "The whole atmosphere changed when her mother came home from work. She would yell at my friend for not doing homework, for not doing dishes… there was just no pleasing her." She turned around to face Hux. "I think you're right. Some people are just bullies."

"You know what was odd? My father never spoke of his parents, he didn't even have a picture. It was as if they had never existed… kind of how I pretend now that he and my step-mother never existed."

She ran her hand through his hair. "Who knows what kind of people they were?"

He didn't reply, instead he turned around and let her snuggle up to him, enjoying her warmth and comfort.