The time of the vote drew near and Rose felt that she was getting nervous again. She sat on a crate in the back of the hangar as Mircah and Espri were getting ready. Espri was going through his notes, apparently having prepared a speech. Mircah was visibly relaxed and chatted with a friend - he didn't have notes. Stars! Why didn't he have notes?
Finally Espri got up on the crate that served as a stage.
"We all know why we're here," he began. "It's about the question whether we want to use Starkiller related technology or not. At first glance it seems an easy question, isn't it? We have a war to win, we have to rid the galaxy of an undeniable evil. But we are more than just an army, we incorporate hope - hope that things, that people can be better. In my humble opinion that means that we have to keep our high standards, our morals and yes, our souls."
He looked around in the hangar, letting his words sink in.
"Some of you might think that we can use the tech because it's not Starkiller. We're not wiping out planets, we're fighting against military combatants. But that's the way away from our ideals, because where are we supposed to stop? Today we will use a little piece of Starkiller tech to incapacitate destroyers, tomorrow we will use it to annihilate dreadnaughts and the day after that we will use it to raze Canto Bight to ground - for we are just, aren't we?" He paused again.
"Yes, we know what is right and what is not, don't we?" He raised his voice. "We will win this war, we will make sure that the First Order never raises from its ashes. They are evil people, and everybody who supports them needs to see the errors of their ways!" He clenched his hand to a fist and continued with a loud voice. "Dozens of government are supporting the First Order, enabling their terror! But we will not stand idly by! We will bring an end to the First Order! To their cherished fleet! All remaining systems will bow to us! Because we are justice! We restore proper order in the galaxy! And may the Force help everybody who stands in our way!" Espri panted at the end, having screamed the last few words.
Rose could feel a shudder run down her spine. Espri had skilfully turned his lesson about morality into a chilling First Order speech. There was a deafening silence in the hangar. She gulped, it was a slippery slope, wasn't it? Where were they supposed to draw the line? She straightened her back. Well, they still had a war to win.
Espi stepped down and Mircah climbed on the crate.
"Wow, that gave me goosebumps," Mircah said. "I admit that I just wanted to point out the need for weapons to actually win the war but Espri just took this to a new level, didn't he?" He cleared his throat. "I wish I could promise you that we won't turn into the Empire or the First Order, but I can't. But I can tell you this: we can't win this war without something to counter the Order's fleet." He lifted his chin. "It sucks, and stars I'm angry that we need to rely on Starkiller tech - that we listen to General kriffing Hux," he hissed.
"But guess what? That ship has already sailed. Apart from the fact that we're fighting in a war - a bloody, merciless war - and that we already have blood on our hands; apart from that we went down that road when we started to rely on the spy." He grimaced. "We're already listening to Hux, and as much as it pains me to say it: without him this hangar would be much less crowded. So, are we supposed to stop listening because of a piece of Starkiller tech? I don't know, I'm just a dumb pilot. But here is a thing I know: we will lose if we deny ourselves a possible way to victory on the tiny possibility that sometimes in the far future things will take a turn for the worse."
He inhaled deeply. "I say we fight today and worry tomorrow."
Mircah stepped down and Poe helped Leia up.
"Thank you both for your passion," she said. "You will find a message on your comms with a link to an anonymous survey. Please vote now."
Rose checked her comm and activated the link to the survey. 'Use the boarding droid: yes or no?'
She voted yes and exhaled. They got to vote 'yes', didn't they? Espri had made an excellent point but they all knew what was at stake.
"Thank you, we will display the result right away," said Leia after a few moments.
Behind her a portable holo activated and two beams appeared, one was titled 'no' and the other 'yes'.
Rose's breath faltered when they started moving upwards - a few seconds later she exhaled: 87% had voted 'yes'.
"A clear answer," said Leia. "Rose, please start with the preparations right away."
Rose nodded and felt uncomfortable when all eyes turned her way.
"Where were you?" she asked when she found Hux in the lab. "I almost bit my finger nails off."
He looked exhausted. "I was in the back, trying to blend in. I wasn't keen on the attention - especially after Captain Espri's speech."
"It was a powerful speech, that much is true." She put her hand on his shoulder and rubbed them a bit.
He put his hand on hers. "There are days where I almost forget… but I will never really escape my deeds. I recognized the words when he said them and it made me feel cold and for a moment I could smell the burnt wood, hear the high-pitched humming of the kyber power cells."
What was she supposed to say to that? It was true, wasn't it? She licked her lips. "You can try to make the galaxy a better place."
He took her hand, led it to his mouth and kissed it. "I'll certainly try. But I'm afraid that this notion led me down the wrong path once before."
"This time you're not alone. Together we can do it." She leaned down and gave him a quick kiss. "We need to plan a trip to Starkiller base to get the kyber crystals."
His eyebrow rose. "'We'? They're actually letting me go?"
Damn, she hadn't even thought about the possibility that they wouldn't let him off the base. "Uh, well I mean it would make sense, no? We're the ones building the thing and you're the expert on Starkiller."
He nodded. "Of course, but it would arouse certain suspicions, don't you think?"
"Let's go to General Organa tomorrow. Either way we need to prepare for the trip. We need a list of what we need to get the crystals."
He bit his lip. "I went to see Dr. Kalonia."
She blinked. "Huh? What for? Are your old injuries hurting?"
"No, I'm fine." He gulped. "I know now how it could happen." He directed his gaze towards her belly.
She hadn't even thought about it anymore, not since they had decided to keep it. "Ah," was all she managed.
"The only explanation were the nanobots who mended my scars. They must have wandered from the upper leg to the uh, groin. They fixed me a little too well."
She started to pick her nails. "Does Dr. Kalonia know?"
"I didn't say what it was about but I assume that she put one and one together. She seemed distracted though… I'm sorry, but I needed to know."
Rose sat down at her desk. "Are you having second thoughts?"
His eyes went wide. "No! No, I just- I just needed to know. I like being in control and this… it made me feel like I'm not even in control over my body."
She continued picking her nails. She had avoided thinking about her pregnancy, there was so much else going on. The war, the boarding droid - stars, everything. But deep down she knew that she was just stalling. There would come a time where she couldn't hide that she was with child.
"I get it, Armitage," she said in a quiet voice. "Believe me, I do."
She was being unfair to him by hiding their relationship. For all the times she told him how he was capable of being good, that she thought he was handsome and worth her affection… she couldn't bring it over her to admit that she was with him.
.
-o-
.
Hux sat in the Cantina, staring at his pad. From time to time he took a sip of his already cold tea, absentmindedly noting that it was getting too bitter even for his tastes. Suddenly he felt a hand on his back, he straightened himself, the grip around the mug getting harder. It only lasted for a fraction of a second before he managed to relax.
Dameron slapped him lightly on the back before he sat down on the table. Hux frowned and suppressed an urge to tell him to sit properly on a chair.
"How are you, Hugs?"
Hux exhaled. "I'm fine, thank you, Commander Dameron." Like an afterthought he added: "How are you?"
Dameron's smile faltered for a moment. "I'm not doing so great, Hugs. Truth be told I'm quite on the fence."
Hux blinked in surprise. He expected him to reply with 'fine' or some equivalent word. He leaned back in his chair and scanned Dameron's face. Only now he noted that he looked tired, the stubble on his face more pronounced than usual.
"I thought your good mood was unflappable, Commander."
Dameron slid off the table and sat down on the chair next to Hux, facing him. "It usually is, but not being able to fly is getting to me. I feel like a caged bird."
Why was he telling this? Was it a means to pressure him to work faster and harder? "Rose and I are working on the boarding droids as fast as we can, Commander. I assure you-"
"Relax, Hugs. I just want to chat."
"Why?" Hux asked, genuinely baffled.
Dameron shrugged. "I guess that's what friends do."
Hux pressed his lips together. "I appreciate the sentiment, but you don't have to keep up the charade."
"Charade?"
"It's your way to lead people… being friendly that is. I respect the effectiveness of it but you don't need to pretend to be my friend."
Dameron gave him a lopsided grin. "Of course we're friends, you think I would keep inviting you to all these huttball games if we weren't?"
Hux frowned at him. Was he serious?
"See? I know exactly what you're thinking right now: you're about to analyze whether I'm making this up or not." Dameron leaned closer. "Believe it or not, I actually like having you around - you're funny with your dry wit. Don't tell me you haven't noticed? Why else would Finn and I have invited you over to our table the other night?"
Surely Dameron was joking. Yes, why would anybody save Rose enjoy his company? But Dameron looked serious, even with that insufferable smile of his.
"And you seemed to enjoy yourself quite a bit after the third whiskey," Dameron continued. "So it's official - we're friends and that entitles me to come over and moan about being tired and having a shitty day."
"Ah, I see," Hux said haltingly. He liked the thought… that Commander Dameron and Captain Finn appreciated his presence. Dameron being Dameron exaggerated the sentiment, but he still appreciated it. "Thank you," he said in a very quiet voice.
Dameron slapped him on the back. "You are welcome, Hugs."
The Millennium Falcon landed two weeks later on Ilum, or Starkiller base as Hux still thought of it. Captain Chewbacca and Commander Dameron exited the cockpit and joined Rose and Hux in the cargo bay.
"We landed about a kilometer from the collapsed command center," said Dameron, "according to the sensors the ground is stable here."
Chewbacca growled something Hux didn't quite catch, it seemed he was commenting on seismic activity. He still had difficulty understanding Shyriiwook.
"Excuse me, I didn't quite catch that Captain Chewbacca," he said.
Chewbacca repeated slower and Hux nodded. "No seismic activities in the last hours? Good."
Dameron grinned. "Getting there, Hugs. Give it another couple of weeks and you'll be fluent."
"I'm still confused about the superessive case and the prepositions. I think it will take longer than that."
Rose smiled at him. "You're catching on fast, I think Poe's right."
Hux forced himself not to return the smile. "I appreciate the sentiment, Sergeant Tico."
Dameron grabbed his white parka. "We should get going - no sense in lingering here."
Hux pressed his lips together, he was right of course. Just knowing that he was back here made his heart heavy.
The way from the ship to the nearest gorge was rather short. Hux estimated that it took them only about fifteen minutes before they stood at the gaping canyon left by the imploded base. He cautiously stepped close to the edge, seeing metal structures at the bottom, partly covered by snow and ice.
"If my estimates are correct we should be able to get to the crystals in the cave underneath the base by following this tunnel - provided they weren't crushed by the seismic events occurred during-"
"How about we just have a look?" asked Dameron, already readying the ropes.
Captain Chewbacca growled, 'I will keep watch.'
Hux put on his harness. "I don't think that will be necessary. It would be a waste of resources to watch over Starkiller base - it's too big."
'There is a smell in the air, I don't like it.'
"Alright, Chewie," said Rose, "if you think it's better you can keep an eye out."
Dameron, Rose and Hux abseiled themselves with the help of an automated hoist. Rose and Dameron were already down in the gorge when Hux touched down, it was dark and even colder than the surface, but perhaps it was because of his unease.
It felt like he was revisiting something from a long, forgotten past but it had been only three years ago.
They found a rather large crack in the structure and managed to enter a partly destroyed hallway.
Rose activated a flashlight droid which started to hover near her, illuminating the darkness. Hux and Dameron did the same and moments later the hallway was bathed in bright light.
Hux inhaled sharply when he noticed frozen, half-crushed remains of maintenance workers underneath a collapsed blast door.
"Stars," whispered Rose.
"We need to get down here," said Hux as he turned his gaze away.
"Lead the way," said Dameron behind him, his voice was soft.
Hux marched down and climbed over debris and piles of ice and snow until he reached the emergency staircase in section B4. He opened it and they started to climb down in the innards of Starkiller.
About ten minutes later they finally reached the sub-levels. Hux looked around and tried to get his bearings in the crushed hallways and the deformed generators surrounding them. There was something somber about standing in the ruins of his grandest and most horrible design.
Behind him he could hear Dameron and Rose drawing closer.
"Are you alright?" asked Rose.
"It's- it's nothing," he replied and marched on. There was nothing to say. At least he didn't know what to say about the odd feeling of emptiness that took hold of him. All this time he thought that this was the peak of his skills and in the end it was nothing more than a death maschine. His legacy… death.
No, no that wasn't everything. Rose said so, he could still make the galaxy a better place. Or at least he could try.
They were quiet when they made their way into the core of the crystal deposit. He stopped in front of a massive blast door and checked the keypad next to it. It was inoperable.
"This is it, the crystal cave is behind this door," he said in a low voice. He didn't know why he was almost whispering, the oppressive atmosphere made him feel like he was in a graveyard. And in a way he was.
Rose pulled her backpack from her back and took out a portable battery. About ten minutes later she had hooked up the controls to the battery and the lights on the keypad turned on.
Hux exhaled, a small cloud of breath escaped his lips. He leaned down to the keypad and entered his personal override code.
"Code Level 1 accepted," said an automated male voice in a crisp Imperial accent. "Retinal scan required for Code Level 2."
He lowered the hood of his parka and looked directly into the scanner above the keypad.
"Retinal scan complete. Welcome, General Hux. Long live the First Order."
He glanced at Rose standing next to him and said, "Long live the First Order."
"Code Level 3 accepted, voice recognized."
Slowly the frozen door started to move. Hux straightened his back. "Some codes aren't as plain as a number." He licked his lips. "Sorry. I had to say it."
Dameron had an unusual stern look in his eyes. "Of course."
Rose put the battery back in her backpack. "We're lucky that they didn't think of erasing your profile from the system."
Hux shrugged. "They probably didn't think to do it on old bases." Pryde really was sloppy, he thought. It made sense to erase all old access codes, always.
Beyond the door was a cave system with signs of mining, abandoned mining droids and carts were standing next to rubble.
"Okay, let's find some crystals. What do they look like, Hugs?"
"They're colourful crystals, rather easy to spot but we- the Order reharvested almost all of them."
"Spread out, we'll meet up in half an hour to check our progress," said Dameron.
Exactly 31 minutes later they reconvened. They checked the content of their backpacks - each of them had gathered about a kilo worth of crystals.
"Not bad," said Rose with a grin. "That should be enough for a start!"
"They might not all be pure enough for a weapon," reminded Hux. "But it's certainly enough to proceed with the project."
"Alright, let's head back. This place gives me the creeps," said Dameron.
They returned to their ropes and put on their harnesses. They were half-way up when they heard the screeching sound of SFS P-s4 twin ion engines above them.
"What the-" began Dameron.
"TIE-Fighters!" yelled Rose. "We need to get out of here."
Hux cursed under his breath. This was no accident that they had turned up - the codes! They hadn't forgotten about his codes, they set a trap!
Dameron's wrist holo activated and Hux could hear Chewbacca growl. He didn't understand what he was saying over the noise but without doubt he had realised too that they needed to make a quick escape.
Dameron remotely sped up the automated hoist, it was still antagonizing slow as they were pulled up. When Hux finally reached the top, Dameron and Rose had already gotten rid of their harnesses and were pulling him up the last few meters.
Another TIE-fighter flew directly over them and fired, missing them only by centimetres.
"Run!" screamed Hux. "Run as fast as you can, Rose!"
Dameron grabbed her and pulled her away as Hux scrambled to get on his feet. From a distance he could already hear voices. He slipped out of the harness and followed Rose and Dameron with a couple of meters between them.
The TIE-fighter made another pass and shot again, hitting a fir tree right in front of them. Rose just managed to get past it before it fell down, cutting Dameron and him off from her.
They ran around the tree but the deep snow made it difficult to move fast and just before they could climb over the firn they were surrounded by Stormtroopers.
Hux saw how Dameron reached for his blaster before an excruciating pain shot through his body, making him lose consciousness.