How many

Summary: Hiccup asked to his father how many, he couldn't answer. Hiccup was not supposed to know.

Words: 690

Warnings: Suicide mention, depressive thoughts.

Hiccup was sure that he was not supposed to hear that, he was just there to get something to eat before going in the search for the Night Fury and kill it, but now. Now he just wanted to get away.

"Those who stay will look after Hiccup."

That is what his father said; he said that to make everybody agreed to go to a dangerous and deadly mission. He said that with the kind of face that he does every time he knew that he was going to get what he wanted.

And he did.

Every single Viking present instantly accepted to go, just to not look after Hiccup. Was he that bad? Was he so horrible that to be killed by dragons was better that to check up that he ate and stayed alive?

Hiccup run out of there, forget the food, he preferred to starve than to stay there, everything could be better than to stay there. He found himself in the forest before he knew, he was fast and he really just left his instincts to take over and take him somewhere safe and away.

He stopped just to breathe again, he was tired, and his legs ached but not worse than his heart. His father… his father was using him as a threat to make other do what he wanted. Tears started to run down his cheeks, he was just… sad? Disappointed? How to explain what he was feeling?

He cried his heart out until something else catches his attention. That sounded like low and hurtful growl. Hiccup's mind instantly remembered the downed dragon.

It was close, he knew, it didn't took him a lot to find the Night Fury, the creature was black, with soft edges, it was trapped, strangled in rope. Hiccup couldn't felt more guilty and miserable, that was a magnificent beast and he hurt it to gain the approval of a tribe that hated him.

"I did this" he said with sadness in his voice.

He got close to the dragon and decided to cut the rope, he was sure that the dragon was alive, he noticed the heavy breathing , but he couldn't care anymore if by letting it free the beast was going to kill him, not for the first time the idea of being death was appealing.

Snap, SNAP, SNAP. THUNK.

It was free; the Night Fury had the human under his claws, ready to kill him. But it didn't. The dragon looked down directly into the sad and lonely eyes of the child that just freed it. He was… just accepting his death, there was not even a fight to get away. Confused the beast went away, trying to fly but just crashing into other things...

Hiccup was also confused, he started to laugh of the irony of the dragon being more merciful than the people in the tribe, but then he started to cry, because he was still alive.

He stayed there for few moments before heading home again; he needed to confront the chief.

Stoick returned home just when the sun was setting, he found Hiccup keeping the fire alive, but his face was… weird, like devoid of emotions. The fire giving Hiccup's eyes a hunting effect.

"Chief" said Hiccup; this made Stoick even more uneasy.

"Son" he responded taking a sit at the other side of the fire.

"How many?"

The question took Stoick by surprise.

"How many what?" he asked confused.

"How many Vikings did I kill till now?" clarified Hiccup looking him in the eyes.

"Hiccup, do not be ridiculous, there is no way that you had killed anyone" mocked Stoick.

"If I'm the reason of why they go to the search I'm sure than is my fault" the way Hiccup said that made Stoick felt shivers down his spine, his son wasn't supposed to know about that.

"How do you-"

"Just tell me how many" insisted Hiccup.

The silence between them was more than enough for Hiccup, he stud up and went to his room

"I hope that you come back" he said before closing his door and lock it down.

Author Notes: Hey there everyone! Hope you all like this little and angst thing that I did, I always get mad with Stoick when he says this to Hiccup, but recently I just thought about how the Vikings are scared to go, so people had died and with the face that Stoick makes you know that this is not the first time he said that.

Well, read you all later! And don't forget about the reviews!