Disclaimer: Still applies.
Author's Note: This may seemed rushed...but I can't drag the story out forever, I know you guys are expecting some Bellamione...so in order for that to happen I have to rush it slightly. Though Bellatrix still has issues...of course. So read and review.
Wide Awake: Chapter 7
The next week rolled around and Hermione was not looking forward to seeing Bellatrix again. Ginny had been supportive of her decision not to forgive Bellatrix right away, though Hermione could tell that it was a disappointment. The nightmares had not subsided, in fact they had intensified since their session last week, and she had barely got any sleep. Once dressed in a pair of slacks and blouse, she grabbed her coat and briefcase and set out for the Ministry of Magic.
"Hey Mione!" Harry said greeting her as they met at the lifts.
"Hey Harry. How are you? How is Ginny?" Hermione asked.
"Good and good. It was great to see you last week." He said beaming at her.
"Yeah it was good to see everyone." Hermione agreed.
The lift opened and they both got in, hitting their respective buttons.
"Ron says that he asked you for coffee." Harry said casually.
"Yes, he did. But I respectfully declined." Hermione replied.
"He was pretty broken up you know, after you ended it." Harry said.
"Look Harry, I understand that he is unhappy and that he is pissed that I ended it with him, but Harry…I'm gay." Hermione said.
Harry looked at her simply dumbfounded. Hermione sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose, the day had barely started and she already had a head ache.
"Well at least its out in the open." Harry said after a few minutes.
"I am not so sure that it's a good thing." Hermione said agitated.
"No Mione, I am glad that you told me. It takes a lot of courage to admit something like that." He said genuinely smiling at his best friend.
Hermione rolled her eyes and shook her head.
"Ron will be devastated." Harry said finally.
"Yes he will." Hermione agreed.
"But if he really loves you, he will accept you for it." Harry said.
"One can only hope." Hermione said shortly.
The lift came to a halt.
"Well this is my floor. See you later Mione." Harry said getting out of the lift.
Hermione nodded and the lift took off again. Once in her office, she greeted Luna with a smile and took the messages Luna had handed her.
"We really need a receptionist." Hermione said looking through the messages that Luna had just handed her.
"Yes we do, between my patients and yours; this is becoming a bit too much." Luna agreed.
"So you're seeing Bellatrix again today." Luna said.
"Yes, I am." Hermione replied.
"How have you been Hermione?" Luna asked.
"Okay…a bit distracted." Hermione admitted.
"I can see why…I heard Hermione…when she had you…" Luna said letting the last word trail.
"I know it could not have been easy to endure. Hearing someone being tortured." Hermione said.
"It wasn't." Luna agreed.
"Well if that's all, I need to get ready." Hermione said turning towards her office.
"Yeah that's it." Luna said.
Hermione went into her office, and closed the door behind her. She sat down at her desk and pulled out her note pad, she wasn't surprised to find that it was blank. She and Bellatrix hadn't really had a conversation pertaining to the matters at hand. Today was going to be different. Hermione had no idea where to start with Bellatrix. Just then there was a knock at her door, and Bellatrix walked in. Hermione smiled up at her, and a small smile crossed Bellatrix's face. She took off her heavy, black traveling cloak and placed it on the coat rack by the door. She took her seat in front of the desk just like last time.
"Afternoon Mrs. Lestrange." Hermione said coming to sit across from Bellatrix, notepad on her knees.
"Afternoon Ms. Granger." Bellatrix said crossing her legs and staring apprehensively at Hermione.
"I thought we could start with your sister today. Since that seemed to be an area of bother for you last time." Hermione said.
Bellatrix shrugged.
"If that is what you wish." Bellatrix said.
"Its not up to me. But it seemed to bother you so much. It is important." Hermione said softly.
Bellatrix surveyed her imperiously through those dark eyes. Hermione swallowed and she started to tremble.
"Very well, as you know my family is from a long line of noble pure blood families. And to marry someone who is less than that, well it is a crime." Bellatrix said.
"It made you angry that Andromeda did that?" Hermione asked.
Bellatrix winced at the sound of Andromeda's name. Hermione was shocked to say the least. She began making notes on her paper. Bellatrix looked a little warily at the paper, but Hermione smiled encouragingly at her.
"I was furious. She betrayed everything that I stood for. What our family stood for. She betrayed our parents. Most of all…she betrayed me." Bellatrix said.
Hermione made a few more notes, but encouraged Bellatrix to continue.
"I wanted to kill her for what she did. But Cissy…she forgave her for what she did, though she would never admit it, she still loved our sister." Bellatrix continued.
"Is that why you joined the Death Eaters?" Hermione asked bluntly.
"Yes." Bellatrix replied simply.
Hermione made another note on her note pad. She looked up at Bellatrix whose eyes were fixed on the notepad.
"If it bothers you, I will stop." Hermione said.
"No, don't." Bellatrix said dismissively.
Hermione nodded and waited for Bellatrix to continue.
"I joined because I believed in the cause. Pure Bloods were royalty and they should be treated as such, those who were of Muggle decent and Half Blood decent were not worthy to lick the dirt from my boots." Bellatrix said passionately.
"It must have made you angry that so many Muggle born witches and wizards did not share that same philosophy. " Hermione said.
"It mattered not what they thought. What mattered was they were going to die if they did not bow down to the rightful leaders of the Magical community." Bellatrix said.
"So it didn't matter if they agreed or disagreed, they were marked for death simply because they didn't have pure blood?" Hermione asked.
"Yes." Bellatrix replied.
Hermione made some more notes on her pad, this time they were a little more lengthy than normal.
"And now? Do you feel that way still?" Hermione asked.
Bellatrix said nothing for a long time; she just continued to stare at Hermione with her dark onyx eyes. Hermione didn't back down this time, she stared back.
"My experience in the war taught me that even those of non Pure Blood decent can be just as powerful." Bellatrix admitted.
Hermione wrote this down with a smile on her face.
"You are an exceptionally gifted witch Ms. Granger." Bellatrix said after a few minutes of silence.
"Thank you, I guess." Hermione said unable to believe that she had just been given a compliment by this woman.
"Much like myself really. You know he was almost convinced to have you join our side during the war…but decided against it." Bellatrix said.
"I would have never joined you." Hermione hissed.
Bellatrix smiled, this time showing her dazzlingly straight, white teeth.
"No, I suppose you wouldn't have. You are much too noble for that." Bellatrix said picking a piece of lint off of her black, velvet skirt.
"Why did you help us during the war? You were so keen on killing us, killing everything that we stood for, what made you change?" Hermione asked.
Bellatrix considered Hermione's question for a moment, searching for the right words to say. She didn't want to admit everything so quickly, but Narcissa was right, she had to tell Hermione everything that she was feeling, everything that was on her mind, it was the only way to be free.
"He betrayed me." Bellatrix said.
"Voldemort?" Hermione asked.
"Do not speak his name!" Bellatrix shrieked getting to her feet and glaring at Hermione.
This time Hermione did not flinch, she just stared at the panting witch in front of her. The color was high in her cheeks and she was panting heavily. Hermione couldn't help but admire what she saw and her eyes started to dangerously drift to the exposed skin of Bellatrix's chest, across her neck to where the runic Azkaban tattoo was still inked into her skin. Bellatrix didn't seem to notice the blush that had crept over Hermione's cheeks, but sat down all the same and faced the younger witch.
"Sorry." Bellatrix muttered not meeting Hermione's gaze.
"It's quite alright. Shall we continue?" Hermione asked.
Bellatrix nodded in agreement and ran her nails through her unruly curls. Hermione remembered what her hair had smelled like on the occasion that she was pinned beneath the older witch. Sage and wood smoke.
"What did he do that was so bad to force you to betray him?" Hermione asked.
"He…we…made love…well I thought that is what it was…after I climaxed he…he said that he didn't love me…that he needed me to be ruthless a little longer and serve him that way…that he no longer needed the flesh to be satisfied." Bellatrix said before she could stop herself.
She clapped a hand over her mouth and she stared wide eyes at Hermione who had paused in her writing. Hermione couldn't believe that she had gotten to the root of the problem so quickly. This was a major break through. Bellatrix was surprised to find that a weight had been lifted off her shoulders.
"And he lied…about his blood status." Bellatrix said softly.
"You discovered that he was a Half Blood." Hermione said.
"Though he is the heir of Salazar Slytherin, that didn't matter…, he was still not pure." Bellatrix said in a low voice.
"You discovered that you were no better than your Blood Traitor sister, Andromeda." Hermione said bluntly before she could stop herself.
Bellatrix continued as through she had not heard Hermione's comment.
"All I wanted was to be accepted. To be liked and respected. I thought that by joining this cause that I would finally get what I rightfully deserved. But I realized after a while that…towards the end, that this was all a joke. That I no longer wanted to run, I no longer wanted to fight. I no longer wanted to see my baby sister suffer anymore loss. Everything had been taken from her…everything for my cause and I didn't protect her…I couldn't protect her from him." Bellatrix said her voice suddenly cold and distant.
Her dark eyes were staring at a point that Hermione could not see. But she continued to make notes, completely enthralled by what Bellatrix was telling her, praying that this momentum would continue in future sessions.
"She suffered many horrific things…a couple at my own hands…but she still loved me, still accepted me. I wanted that from him and for a while I had it…but like I said…that all went away after he told me that." Bellatrix said.
"Narcissa forgave you Bellatrix. She realized that you didn't mean those things… that you were only doing what was expected of you." Hermione said.
Bellatrix sniffed, and Hermione was shocked to see that there were tears in those dark eyes. But they did not fall; Bellatrix seemed to be holding them back. Hermione glanced at her watch.
"We are out of time for today." Hermione said softly.
Hermione handed Bellatrix a tissue, and she took it with a small word of thanks. They sat in silence for a few more minutes.
"We have made a major break through today Mrs. Lestrange." Hermione said breaking the silence.
"Bellatrix." Bellatrix corrected.
Hermione looked at her perplexed.
"Call me Bellatrix." Bellatrix said in response to Hermione's questioning look.
"Hermione." Hermione said.
She earned a rare smile from the older witch. She stood and Bellatrix followed. They shook hands again.
"Same time next week?" Bellatrix asked.
"Yes, same time next week." Hermione replied.
They let go of one another.
"I will see you." Bellatrix said putting her cloak on over her shoulders and fastening the silver broach at the throat.
"See you." Hermione said.
Bellatrix walked towards the door and left the room. She walked to Tonks's office and signed the papers without a complaint and then left the Ministry of Magic.
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Bellatrix arrived back at Malfoy Manor and walked straight to Narcissa's study. Narcissa looked up curiously as Bellatrix walked into the room, disposing herself of her traveling cloak as she advanced on her sister.
"Where have you been?" Narcissa asked standing to greet her sister who placed a kiss on each of Narcissa's cheek before sitting her back down in her chair.
"I was with Counselor Granger." Bellatrix replied.
Narcissa smiled at her sister, she seemed to be in a better mood. She had never seen her sister in a better mood than she was now.
"Ah, how did it go?" Narcissa asked trying to contain her smile.
"I think it went rather well." Bellatrix replied.
"That is wonderful news Bella." Narcissa said this time beaming at her sister.
"It is…I listened to what you said. I told her." Bellatrix said positively quivering with excitement.
She was rather like a child who had just faced an obsticle and surmounted with success. Narcissa just continued to beam at her sister.
"This is cause for a celebration." Narcissa said cheerfully.
Bellatrix waved her wand and two glasses and a bottle of blood red wine appeared. Bellatrix poured each of them a glass and handed one to her sister.
"To a new life." Narcissa said raising her glass.
Bellatrix raised her glass and drained it, refilling their glasses.
"I am exhausted." Bellatrix said taking another drink.
"You look exhausted. Come, I shall get you some stew and you can go straight to bed." Narcissa said taking her sister's hand.
Bellatrix smiled.
The two women left the study. Once Narcissa had put Bellatrix to bed, she retired to her own bedroom and sat down by her window sill. Seeing Bellatrix happy was something that Narcissa thought she would never see anytime soon, but this court ordered therapy seemed to be working faster than she thought. She supposed that it had something to do with Hermione. The young woman must have some sort of gift that made Bellatrix feel at ease, because even she couldn't get Bellatrix to open up like she had been. She sighed, and changed into her night clothes, climbing into bed. Lucius wasn't due back until late, so she snuggled into his pillow and feel fast asleep.
TBC...