Chapter 26
Reno burst into Aura's workroom only to find she was not there. He swore viciously and headed for the infirmary, hoping to find her there. The doors flew open with a loud bang and a displeased Zena turned his way.
"Where's Aura?" he asked, ignoring her frown.
"I don't know. She's not in here."
Without waiting for further comment, Reno turned on his heel. She must have gone straight home. He strode as quickly as he could down the hallway until he was outside the lodge, and then he broke into a run. He didn't stop until he reached Aura's house.
Reno knocked twice, but he didn't really expect an answer. When he didn't get one, he opened the door, unsurprised that it was unlocked, and let himself in. He listened as he pulled the door closed behind himself, trying to figure out where he would find Aura. His heart sank when he heard the shower. He knew what she was doing.
"Aur…" he called her gently as he cautiously entered her bathroom, stepping over her dress crumpled on the floor. "Aura…" Again, he received no response and he crept closer to the shower. He could see through the glass that Aura was not standing under the water and, instinctively, he pulled the door open. "Aura…" Seeing her curled on the floor under the steaming water, Reno dropped to his knees, reaching a hand out to her. The moment he touched her shoulder, Aura looked up at him and he could see that she had been crying for some time.
"Reno…" he barely heard her sob over the water cascading down around her. Without hesitating to think about what he was doing, Reno leaned into the shower and turned the water off with one hand while wrapping his other arm around Aura and pulling her to himself. She clung to him as he lifted her into his lap on the bathroom floor, pressing her face into his shoulder as she cried.
"Aur…" he whispered, rubbing soothing circles into her back, "You're okay… You're okay now…" His fingers caught in her wet hair and he pushed it aside. It was then that he realised that she was naked. Reno's hands froze on Aura's wet skin and his breath stuck in his throat. What was he thinking? After what had just happened? Looking around, he spotted a green towel on a rack nearby and he tugged it off the rail before draping it around Aura's shoulders. "Aur, sweetheart…" he touched her cheek, "Let's get you dressed before you get sick." He got to his feet, lifting her with him and then setting her on her feet. "Come on…"
He took her into her bedroom and pulled one of her dresses from her wardrobe. "You put this on…" he told her gently, "I'll… I'll wait in the living room." He backed away from her, watching as she took the dress in one hand, her other clutching the towel to herself. Reno turned and went to sit on Aura's couch to wait for her to get dressed.
As he waited, Reno tried to work out what he was going to say to her. She was evidently upset, and he needed to know exactly what had happened to work out what to say to help her. What had Rufus done? Why was she upset? Had he forced her? Had he hurt her? Was she upset because Reno had been called in and now he knew? Did she simply regret what she had done? Taking a deep breath, Reno tried to calm down. It wouldn't be helpful to get angry or upset again until he knew what had happened.
He looked up when Aura shuffled into the room, her wet hair hanging in her face and small towel in her hand. Hurt washed through Reno before he had the chance to control it as the image of Aura tugging her dress into place while Rufus did his pants up flashed through his mind. She kept her eyes on the floor as she moved toward the couch and sat beside him, and he struggled to keep his hands to himself. He watched as she squeezed the ends of her hair in the towel, trying to dry it.
"Aur… Talk to me…" he murmured, turning slightly to face her better on the couch. Her eyes didn't leave the floor.
"What's there to talk about?"
Hurt stabbed at him again. "You… and Rufus."
Her hands stopped squeezing and Reno watched as she lowered the towel to sit in her lap. "It… It's nothing." She murmured.
"It's not nothing." He replied tightly, "I… I thought…" He swallowed. Had she done it because she knew he'd dropped the plate on Sector Seven? Was she done with him? "Aur…why?"
"Why do you care?" she muttered, "What difference does it make?"
"I… I've always protected you…"
"So, what?" she looked up, "You think you own me, yo?"
Reno just looked at her and she lowered her gaze once more. They both knew she was talking shit now. "Of course not. You can do whatever you want… I just… didn't think you wanted Rufus."
Aura bowed her head a little more, and Reno didn't realised she was crying again until a tear dripped from the end of her nose into her lap. "I don't…" she sobbed, "I didn't…"
"Then why did you?" Reno struggled to control his voice. She looked up at him, mortification written across her face.
"I…" she shook her head.
"You don't want him?"
"Why would I want him?" she cried.
"Because he's Rufus Shinra…" he said, and Aura shook her head again, "and I… dropped the plate on Sector Seven…"
"Reno, No…"
"Then, why?" he asked, desperation creeping into his tone. "Why?" Aura started to crumble again and he frowned, "Did he… force you?"
The look on her face set Reno's blood alight, but then she shook her head once. "No…" she breathed, her eyes sliding away. He knew there was more to it, and he reached out. His fingers closed around her wrist and he turned her to face himself. "He…" Reno held on to her wrist, not releasing her, needing to know what she was trying to say. "He… He knows what you did." She told him softly, "He knows that you didn't leave me… that you kept me… and he knows that you lied…" Her green eyes met his and she held his gaze. Reno had suspected as much after Rufus' comment back in his office, "He said that he was going to punish you." She continued, her eyes locked on his. "He said that if I didn't agree… if I didn't let him… he would kill you." She let out a shaky breath, "He would shoot you… right there in his office. I saw the gun…"
Reno's blood went from hot to cold. He didn't know what to think; what to process first. His greatest secret was out, what he had feared the most since beginning to work for ShinRa had happened. Rufus was prepared to kill him for it. But Aura… she had suffered for it. For him. He slid his hand from her wrist up her arm to her elbow, his eyes still on hers. "He… would have." He told her softly, "I've seen him do it." Aura's eyes were wide as they filled with tears again. "I'm sorry…" he breathed, "It's my fault…"
"It wasn't your fault." She replied, "It was a choice I made."
"For me."
"That doesn't make it your fault."
"I delivered you to him." Reno pulled her closer, "All I ever wanted was to keep you safe… to keep you from having to do what I had to do. I wanted you to have that choice."
"I did…"
"No…" He lifted a hand to her cheek, "I wanted you to get to choose who you were to be with…" She stared at him. "Every time…" he paused, "Especially the first…" She dropped her gaze, but Reno kept watching her face. "Did he hurt you…?" Aura's eyes closed but she shook her head, one of her hands going to her hip. He touched her hand. "What's that…?"
"Probably just a bruise." She murmured, looking back up at him, "Reno, I'm sorry…"
"For what, Aur…?"
"Your face…" she murmured, "When you walked into his office…"
Reno took one of her hands, lacing his fingers through hers. "My concern was for you." He told her gently.
"You… thought that I had screwed Rufus because you told me about Sector Seven?"
"I didn't know what had happened…" he replied, "You looked upset… and I … had no idea."
"You looked betrayed."
"Aur…"
"I would never betray you."
The moment the words were out of her mouth, Reno realised that he had always known that. He wasn't at all surprised by the sacrifice she had made for him. Lifting her hand to his lips, he pressed a soft kiss to her skin. "I know, Aura."
"I…" Aura let out a sigh, tightening her grip on Reno's hand and he tilted his head, waiting for her to sort out what she wanted to say. "I don't know how to feel…" she told him. "I don't regret what I did… because it kept you alive…" she looked imploringly at him, as tears welled in her eyes once more, "I would make that choice again. I told you that I would do anything for you…" He just nodded and she continued, "But… it hurts…" she drew a shuddering breath as those tears trailed her cheeks and Reno lifted a hand to brush them away. "I… I… wish that it had been you." She dropped her gaze to her lap and Reno realised that he had been holding his breath. "I wanted you to be the one… to…"
He took both of her hands in his. "I'm sorry, Aur…"
"You kissed me last night…" She was looking at him intently and Reno could barely swallow. "What did that mean?"
"I…" he blinked, "That meant… that… I…" he tried not to panic. She had just admitted that she had wanted him to have been her first. She had wanted him to be the one to take her virginity. He thought about the way she had responded to his kiss last night, and he looked at her watching him, waiting for his answer. "I would give anything for today not to have happened." He told her, lifting a hand to her cheek once more, "I… would have been honoured to be the one you chose… I… I'm jealous… of Rufus…" Reno couldn't believe the words were coming out of his mouth, but they were true. He looked down at the hand that still held one of hers. "I wish it had been me…" he kept staring at their hands. "Not crude and on a desk, but properly and right…" He paused and dared to meet her gaze once more. "I wish that I had been able to make it everything it should have been…"
"Reno…" he could barely hear her soft voice over his own heart thundering in his ears. She moved closer to him on the couch and he brushed some of her still damp hair back over her shoulder. "How would it have been…?"
Reno's breath caught in his throat and he met her eyes, surprised by the question. "I… I don't know, Aur…" he murmured, feeling heat flush his cheeks as various scenarios flashed through his mind. "I… I suppose… in your bed… after an evening spent together… probably after dinner…" He didn't know what to say, knowing his response had been lame, but she smiled at him.
"That sounds perfect." Her gaze fell, and the expression that crossed her features told him exactly where her thoughts had returned to.
"Aura?" he asked softly, lifting both hands to gently turn her face up to him. "Did he kiss you?" She frowned for a moment, clearly thinking about his question before she responded.
"No…"
"Good." He smiled at her before carefully bringing his lips down to meet hers. This was something he could give her, an experience that would never be tainted by comparison or haunting memories of Rufus. Something just for them. The response he received from Aura was just as willing as it had been last night, but far more ardent. He couldn't supress a shiver when she lifted her own gentle hands to his face, pulling him closer as one slid around into his hair.
When they broke apart Aura met his gaze almost shyly. He smiled at her, trying to keep his hands to himself. "I was hoping that you would do that again after last night." She told him, sending actual tingles of pleasure through him. He smiled more widely.
"I'm happy to do that as many times as you like, yo." He watched her carefully, not wanting to press his luck or cross some line. He was acutely aware of what had happened earlier and he didn't want to touch her in some way that she wasn't ready for or that would remind her of what she had endured with Rufus. He ached to pull her into his lap and kiss her until they were both dizzy with breathlessness, but he wouldn't. The expression crossing her face told him that she was likely having a similar train of thought.
"Can you… can you just… hold me… for a bit…?" She leaned into his side and Reno wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her a little closer.
"For as long as you want, Aur." He murmured, resting his cheek against her hair. "I'm not going anywhere until you tell me to."
He sat with his arm around her, still and silent, as he felt her start to shake and he realised that she had begun to cry again.