Disclaimer: I own nothing!
Author's Note: It may seem like more than friendship between Hermione and Tonks…but that is all it is! Bellamione is coming guys don't worry! Please read and review.
Wide Awake: Chapter 9
Bellatrix walked into Hermione's office this time with more confidence than she had had on the other occasions. She had a feeling that this time was going to be different. She had found that her nightly secessions of screaming out the younger witch's name were not working much to alleviate some of the burning in her groin. Narcissa had made sure that Bellatrix was sated enough to at least get some sleep, but Bellatrix felt bad using her sister like that. They were adults now, and their own love making was coming to an end.
"Hello Bellatrix." Hermione said greeting the older witch with her customary smile.
But Bellatrix could tell that something was off with the younger witch today.
"Hello. You're looking fit." Bellatrix said sitting down opposite Hermione.
"I run a lot." Hermione said shortly.
"I can tell." Bellatrix replied.
"Shall we start?" Hermione asked getting her pen and pad of paper ready.
Bellatrix paid no mind to the pad anymore; she was immune to the scratching of Hermione's pen now.
"We left off last week talking about Narcissa. Would you like to start there?" Hermione asked looking down at her notes.
"We could." Bellatrix shrugged.
"Well, you said that she had suffered at your hands, what did you mean by that?" Hermione asked not sure if she wanted to know the answer.
The look on Narcissa's face as Hermione had asked her the question… was still bothering her.
Bellatrix looked lost in thought for a moment; she wasn't sure where she should begin on the subject of her baby sister.
"We were close growing up. We both grew up having the same values and qualities that make us Blacks superior to other Wizarding families. But we were completely different people. I am the oldest, and as the oldest I had to set an example to my younger siblings." Bellatrix said.
"Narcissa looked up to you?" Hermione asked.
"They both did. Andy and Cissy both." Bellatrix admitted.
"Andromeda and Narcissa both had the same values. What made you so different? Why did you decide to join Voldemort?" Hermione asked.
Bellatrix winced at the sound of both Andromeda and Voldemort's name, but she didn't change the subject.
"Andy…she didn't like what I was doing, said it was a lost cause and that we were no different from Muggles or Mudbloods. That if we only learned how to accept them that our world would be a better place. Equality is what she wanted." Bellatrix said sounding bitter for the first time.
Hermione made some notes on her note pad and then looked back up at Bellatrix.
"And Narcissa?" Hermione asked.
"She was on the fence. She was still so young. Well not really young, but what do you know about the world at 14? Nothing." Bellatrix replied.
"But you knew more than she did." Hermione said.
"Of course I did. I was of age and I knew what I wanted to do with my life. I didn't want to be a brainless house wife or baby factory like she did. I wanted to make something of myself. I wanted to show the world the power of the Blacks and make our wealth and power known once again." Bellatrix said the color high in her cheeks now as she talked about her early glory days.
"So you joined the Death Eaters." Hermione said.
"Yes, it wasn't easy, being the first woman to join. Men still thought themselves superior, but they were wrong. I was branded before most of the men that you have come to know as Death Eaters." Bellatrix said.
"It must have made your parents proud." Hermione said.
"They were happy, yes. My mother thought I was useless as it was, but after I was branded she thought differently." Bellatrix said smirking.
"And your sisters?" Hermione asked a little too eagerly.
"Andy hated the idea, swearing that she would never join and that I was a fool for doing so. Cissy was hysterical, telling me that I wasn't going to be a good wife and I was going to cause the family dishonor and I was going to burn if I had killed anyone before being branded." Bellatrix replied.
"Well…did you?" Hermione asked.
"Did I what?" Bellatrix asked.
"Kill any one?" Hermione replied.
"No, the only person I have ever killed was my cousin, Sirius Black." Bellatrix snapped.
Hermione made another note on her paper, and she did not look up for almost two minutes.
"So you and your sisters were on three different fronts with this issue." Hermione said trying to get the conversation flowing again.
"Yes. Like I said, Cissy was hysterical. Andy was in denial. I think Cissy was hurt the most because she didn't want to lose me." Bellatrix said.
"That is understandable. No one should have to lose some one they love." Hermione said.
"I think at the time that it was the sex that she was going to miss." Bellatrix had said before she could stop herself.
This time Hermione had no reaction, she didn't know how to react.
'There are many secrets with in the House of Black'
Narcissa's words echoed in her head.
"You two were close. Did Andromeda…was she close as well?" Hermione asked.
"For a while. But she started hanging out with different people and our lives were going in different directions, she grew to believe that what we did was wrong. Of course it was wrong, sick and wrong, but oh…so good. I suppose it was because we had no one else to turn to for love and affection that we just…molded to one another." Bellatrix explained.
"That is understandable, you were lost, confused, and needed something to take away the emptiness." Hermione said.
"Sleeping with your sister is hardly acceptable Hermione." Bellatrix snapped.
"No it isn't, but under the circumstances it was." Hermione reasoned.
Though the thought initially repulsed her, it was an intriguing idea. Did that make her sick too?
"When I was married, it hit Cissy the hardest, because by that time Andy had started to drift away. It wasn't until a year after I was married that she ran away with that Mudblood, Tonks. Cissy was angry that she was alone to face our mother. She was punished for not stopping Andromeda. We were punished a lot for the actions of each other. For not being perfect or for not acting proper, Narcissa was the epitome of perfection. I on the other hand was the epitome of failure, and Andromeda was just pathetic." Bellatrix said.
Hermione made another note, now she was starting to understand why Bellatrix and Narcissa were so close, though Bellatrix was dominating and Narcissa submissive. She supposed it was because of their mother that they had turned into such broken people.
"My mother had almost killed her in anger. My father drank himself into a rage almost every night, forcing my mother to take everything out on Cissy. She was no longer the beloved baby anymore; she was a young woman who had failed her family. Well naturally she ran to me with anything and everything. She started to notice the change in me after I was married. Times had changed. I had changed. The mission, the cause had changed. I no longer needed her anymore. I no longer needed the sex to keep me sane. I had my brainless husband for the sex and my master for the companionship that I needed. "Bellatrix paused and she was deep in thought for a moment.
"She suffered because you took her innocence from her?" Hermione asked.
"Yes…I felt as if I shouldn't have…done that to her…with her, that I made her as fucked up as I was." Bellatrix said snapping back to their conversation.
"Was there another time?" Hermione asked.
"I…it was after He was killed…I was in a panic and I was trying to find out something, anything about how or what killed him. But I didn't know anything. Finally we had received information from one of our own that the Longbottoms knew something. So Rodolphus and I went to pay them a visit." Bellatrix said.
Chills crept up Hermione's spine at the way Bellatrix had said it. The way her voice was menacing and threatening. She could just imagine how Bellatrix must have been feeling when she confronted Frank and Alice Longbottom.
"I visited Cissy at her Manor. She had only been married to Lucius for a couple of years and had Draco. I was scared. She wasn't helping me…told me that I was a fool and a selfish bitch for coming there when I knew that Aurors would soon be on their way to get me. That I put her son in danger and if they came for me that she would give me to them. I was so angry that I…tortured her…I tortured her until every muscle in her body ached…I tortured her until almost all of her ribs had cracked…I tortured her until I could no longer feel anything…I tortured her until she was silent, until I no longer heard pleas and cries of mercy." Bellatrix said.
And Hermione wasn't surprised to hear the tears and regret in Bellatrix's voice. But the sheer power of the words hit her like a stampeding Hippogriff. Bellatrix had tortured her own sister.
"And I left her there. I just left her on the floor of Draco's nursery. I never saw her again." Bellatrix said softly.
Hermione made a few more notes on her note pad and glanced at her watch. She knew that they were out of time, but she had no other appointments that day, so decided to keep the conversation going.
"I had to live with that image in my head for 14 years. They don't allow visitors to Azkaban. I never saw her, or heard from her. Not until I was broken out. She was the first person I went to…she took it easy on me though I did not deserve it. She dressed my wounds from where the shackles had been cutting into my skin for so long. Fed me up until I was strong enough to use magic again…she kept my wand all this time…I had left it there after I had almost killed her." Bellatrix continued.
"You faced the Aurors without a wand?" Hermione asked incredulously.
"No of course not, I took Rodolphus's wand. Once I knew for sure that they were coming for us, I being the better duelist took his and fought. The stupid sod, he never unlocked its full potential." Bellatrix said bitterly.
"I heard it was quite a fight." Hermione said.
"Oh it was! Oh yes it was! But of course in the end…we were cornered and I knew it was over. I went quietly after that." Bellatrix said passionately.
"Giving up, that doesn't sound like you." Hermione said.
Bellatrix laughed.
"Oh come on, even I know that 15 against 1 is a little bit too much to be going on with." Bellatrix said still laughing a little.
"The other sods that were brought in with me were useless. So I had to carry their weight. But of course, in the end, we lost." Bellatrix continued.
"I never imagined…" Hermione said softly.
"It was quite a fiasco. The whole thing. Cissy, the Aurors…Azkaban." Bellatrix said.
"Narcissa said that there were many secrets with in the House of Black, but I never imagined that it would be anything like that." Hermione said before she could stop herself.
Bellatrix got to her feet and advanced on Hermione who got to her feet as well and had started to move away from Bellatrix.
"You talked to Cissy?!" Bellatrix asked frantic with rage.
"She…she came by last week…" Hermione said shaking.
Her whole body was frozen in terror. Her mind flashed back to Malfoy Manor, except she knew that Harry, Ron and Dobby wouldn't be there to save her again. Bellatrix had backed her against the wall, her lips close to hers. Hermione had an overwhelming desire to kiss those lips, to distract the older witch, but she knew that it wouldn't be such a good idea on her part. Bellatrix could react badly and kill her where she stood.
"What did she say? What did you say?!" Bellatrix asked.
"I…she was just worried about you…" Hermione replied.
She hoped beyond hope that answer would suffice.
"Liar! What did she tell you?!" Bellatrix shrieked.
She was trying hard not to wrap her hands around the younger witch's throat. The anger that was rushing though her was becoming too much that she just turned and left the office, leaving a terrified Hermione in her wake.
Hermione sank to the floor, shaking with sobs. And that was how Tonks had found her a few minutes later.
"Hermione! What happened?!" Tonks asked rushing to the shaking woman's side.
Hermione couldn't speak; Tonks put an arm around her and could feel her body shaking from more than just sobs.
"Did she…did she hurt you?! I will kill her if she has laid a hand on you!" Tonks said looking at Hermione from arms length.
Hermione shook her head and opened her eyes.
"She didn't…don't worry." Hermione choked out.
Relief broke across the older woman's face. Hermione wasn't physically hurt.
"Come on; let's get you out of here." Tonks said getting Hermione to her feet.
Hermione packed all her materials into her bag and the two women left the office. Once back at Hermione's flat, Tonks had made some tea and got Hermione changed and into bed.
"She was…she was scared…just like when she tortured me…Dora I was so scared. I thought she was going to hurt me…her hands…were shaking." Hermione said as Tonks sat on the edge of her bed.
Tonks closed her eyes, she was exhausted, but she didn't want to leave Hermione alone until she knew that she would be alright.
"I was curious to know what happened. I knew that you had gone over time, so I was just going to wait until Bellatrix came to my office to sign the paperwork, when she didn't show I got worried." Tonks said looking at Hermione.
"I…she was on a roll…I figured that she wouldn't notice anyways…but I went and said too much. I promised Mrs. Malfoy that I wouldn't say anything." Hermione said breaking down into sobs once more.
"You didn't do anything. Bellatrix would have found out eventually. And she didn't hurt you, any other time she might have." Tonks reasoned.
Hermione said nothing for a few minutes. She finished her tea.
"I need to get going. I have to go pick up Teddy from my mum's." Tonks said getting to her feet.
"Please stay?" Hermione asked.
The plea in her voice broke Tonks's heart; she had never seen a more defeated person in her life.
"Let me send a message to her. I will be right back." Tonks said leaving the room.
After a few minutes she was back.
"You can borrow some of my clothes if you'd like. I think we are about the same size." Hermione said looking at Tonks.
Tonks nodded and pulled a tank top and shorts from Hermione's dresser. She went into the bathroom to change and came out a few minutes later, her hair down, and purple again. She sat in a chair next to Hermione's bed.
"What are you doing?" Hermione asked.
"Watching you." Tonks replied simply.
"Get up here, do you think I asked you to stay so that you could sit in a chair an watch me sleep?" Hermione asked.
"No, I suppose not…but you don't think it would be weird?" Tonks asked.
"We are both women, and just because I am gay doesn't mean that I will attack you." Hermione replied a little defensively.
"It's not that Mione." Tonks said shaking her head.
"Then what is it?" Hermione asked.
Now it was her turn to be the concerned friend.
"I just…I haven't slept well since…Remus died. And I don't know what it would be like to sleep in the same bed with someone." Tonks said finally.
"I wont touch you or anything. I just don't want to be alone." Hermione said.
After a few minutes of internal struggle Tonks finally climbed into bed next to Hermione and to her surprise and Hermione's she pulled the younger witch into her arms. Hermione draped her arm over Tonks's firm abdomen and laid her head on her chest. She listened to the racing heart beat.
"Don't be nervous." Hermione said quietly.
She felt Tonks laugh. She looked up at the older woman and smiled, Tonks placed a kiss on her forehead.
"Go to sleep Mione. I will be here when you wake up" Tonks said smiling.
Hermione sighed and listened again as Tonks's heart beat slowed and her breathing became even and deep. Hermione found that she didn't mind being in Tonks's arms like this, but knew at the same time that it was only a friendly gesture. She fell asleep a few minutes later, listening to the slow, quiet beating of Tonks's heart.
TBC…