Disclaimer: Still applies.
Author's Note: Thanks to all my awesome reviewers! I know this is moving slow for some, fast for others…but I am trying to make this in real times…sorry for all that guys. This chapter is slow, and it may be too quick for Bella to say all this…but I can't drag this story out forever, as much as I want to! As always, read and review.
Wide Awake: Chapter 17
Hermione awoke the next morning feeling better than she had in a long time. Being in Bellatrix's arms felt right, she was warm and soft, and the sound of her slow, deep breathing was comforting. Hermione noticed that Bellatrix had draped one of her arms across her stomach, it was her left arm. Hermione was curious. So she gently turned the older woman's arm.
It was clean.
The Dark Mark was gone.
She felt Bellatrix stir and she quickly moved her hand away from her arm. But she didn't wake up she just rolled over. Hermione smiled and quietly got out of bed. She padded down the stairs and into her kitchen, just then her phone rang.
"Hello?" Hermione answered.
"Hey Hermione." A voice said.
It was Ginny.
"Hey Gin, what's up?" Hermione asked busying herself with the tea kettle.
"I was just wondering if you would like to come over for dinner tonight." Ginny asked.
Hermione was silent for a long time, she wasn't sure if they knew that she was dating Bellatrix, she hadn't gotten around to telling them that it was official. Ginny seemed to sense this because she spoke, breaking the silence.
"You can bring Bellatrix, that is, if she wants to come." Ginny said quickly.
"But what about Harry? There is no way that I would bring her around him…I know how he feels about it." Hermione asked.
"I talked to him. And honestly, I think he is on the fence about it, but if she is making you happy, then that is all that matters to him, you know that." Ginny said.
"That still doesn't answer my question." Hermione said.
"Bring her." Ginny said firmly.
"Okay, okay fine. But if there is an issue, she and I will leave. There is no sense on making everyone uncomfortable because I decided to fall in love with an ex-Death Eater." Hermione said finally.
"So…you have finally admitted that you are in love?" Ginny asked with a smile in her voice.
Hermione fell silent. Bellatrix was standing in the door way, an odd expression on her face.
"Mione you still there?" Ginny asked on the other end.
"Yeah, look Ginny I got to go. I will see you guys tonight." Hermione said and she hung up the phone before Ginny could say anything.
Bellatrix eyed the phone curiously as Hermione sat it back down on the counter, then she looked up at Hermione.
"So…you are in love with me?" Bellatrix asked casually trying to gloss over the awkwardness her appearance had made.
"I…well yes…but I avoided saying it to you…well because I don't know how you feel about it." Hermione stammered.
Bellatrix said nothing, she just took a seat at the kitchen table, and Hermione poured them some tea and handed a cup to Bellatrix who took it. Hermione then sat down at the other end of the small table, looking apprehensive.
"I don't throw it around easily." Bellatrix said breaking the silence.
"I also don't say it to just anyone." She added taking a long sip of her tea.
It was very good.
"I don't fall in love easily." She continued, "Because I have been betrayed by everyone that I have ever loved. So you can understand why I am reluctant to give in so quickly." She finished taking another sip of her tea.
Hermione nodded, tears started to fill her eyes. The past few weeks had been the best of her life and she felt that she had just broken everything that had passed between them. But the look on Bellatrix's face told her otherwise, it was like she was finally seeing that she was worth something to someone she knew that she could trust.
"I understand why you want to say it. But I think that it is much too soon for it." Bellatrix said.
"I'm sorry you had to hear it like that." Hermione said softly.
"I hope to hear it again someday, but in a different way. Things are going slow, and I know that it is difficult for you to go at this pace." Bellatrix said.
"No, no! I like this pace. I think that it is good for us. I know this whole transition…this whole thing hasn't been easy for you…and I just couldn't help at wonder if the only reason that we are together is…well because I was there to help you through this…and once you are better…that you wont need me anymore." Hermione explained.
This time she couldn't control the tears that had been building up while Bellatrix was speaking and she burst. Bellatrix sat there, looking across the table at her sobbing lover. Hermione's concern was legitimate, and Bellatrix wasn't sure if she could honestly answer the question at this moment, but she had to. She had never felt this way about someone before. What they had shared last night…well that was something major for both of them. And it was arguably the best night of her life, and she wanted to have many, many more with the younger witch.
"Hermione look at me." Bellatrix said as she moved to kneel down next to the sobbing brunette.
Hermione lifted her head, rubbing the tears off of her face with the back of her hand. She locked eyes with Bellatrix.
"I didn't mean to upset you. And no, I am not with you because of all of this. I am with you because I trust you completely. I have let you in slowly, well because I am afraid, but I realize that I don't have to be afraid with you. I am sure that you have had your fair share of heart break, and that being with someone like me…well it can be difficult." Bellatrix said.
"Someone like you?" Hermione asked perplexed.
"Well…with my past…what I have done…you know all of that. My family, my upbringing. The fact that I am filthy rich, and I have no need for all that money. Oh Hermione there are many reasons why you shouldn't be with me. My temper gets the best of me sometimes, and I have hurt Cissy, who's to say that I won't hurt you?" Bellatrix asked.
This time it was Bellatrix's turn to start crying.
"Okay, one, I know about your family. Two, I don't care that you are filthy rich, I can and have made my own money, I can support myself. Three, your past isn't something that I am focusing on, because you are not the same person that you were back then. If you were then you wouldn't be here telling me all of this. Four, your temper is something I can deal with, you have obviously haven't seen me on my period. Five, I know that you wont hurt me because, well if you wanted to you would have done it already." Hermione explained.
"Not to mention…the age difference…you're so young Mione." Bellatrix said interrupting Hermione's speech.
"I don't care about that. I want to be with you. I chose you. That should be enough. I have lived my life, been through things that most people, even your age have never been through or faced. I know what my heart wants, and I want you." Hermione said.
Bellatrix considered Hermione's words. She had never heard such conviction behind words like that before in her life. And that was one of the things she loved about the younger witch. And it was true, she had faced more than most her age, seen and done more things than most. She was an intelligent, funny, skillful young witch and she could handle herself.
"So just as long as I don't catch you on a bad day, everything with your…um…period should be fine?" Bellatrix asked.
She couldn't help but suppress a grin at the look of indignation on Hermione's face.
"I don't think that it will be any of your concern. I can more than handle it." Hermione said trying to suppress a laugh.
"I haven't had one in so long, I don't even know what it's like…but I guess the mood swings I will have to watch out for. Young people can be so hormonal." Bellatrix said in mock exasperation.
"Well older people are much grumpier." Hermione retorted.
"Oh you haven't seen grumpy yet." Bellatrix said placing a kiss on Hermione's lips.
"Suppose that is something I have to look forward too." Hermione said breaking the kiss.
Bellatrix smiled, and she stood.
"You look rather good in my clothes." Hermione said admiring the way Bellatrix's curves filled out the pants and tank top.
"I guess I could get used to them. I suppose I am passed the days of long night gowns and robes." Bellatrix said looking down at her body.
"But you said you sleep naked." Hermione said.
"I do. But I didn't always…you know with younger siblings…we didn't always want to be caught in our birthday suits…oh and god forbid mum catching us naked…she was such a prude, everything had to be proper all the time." Bellatrix explained.
Hermione just listened. She hadn't gotten to the subject of Bellatrix's parents yet, it was fascinating imagining her lover as a child, as having a childhood. Before all the bad stuff, back when the world was simple. But she supposed that life was never simple for a Pure-Blood even if they were children.
"It couldn't have been easy." Hermione said.
"It was sometimes. But others not so much…so what is this I hear about going to dinner?" Bellatrix asked changing the subject.
Hermione knew that the conversation was over. She made a mental note to find out more about it at a later time, when Bellatrix was ready.
"Oh, Ginny invited us. She said Harry was fine with it." Hermione replied.
Bellatrix's face fell. She wasn't so sure if she wanted to go. They were Hermione's friends and she didn't want to be the reason why she never saw them.
"Bella…look don't worry, they know about us. I am guessing Tonks told them, or they figured it out for themselves. If Harry and Ginny didn't want you there, they would have told me to come without you. Or not at all." Hermione said.
Bellatrix didn't look convinced. Hermione sighed and got up from the table.
"What if I don't want to go?" Bellatrix asked.
"Then I won't go." Hermione replied simply.
Bellatrix shook her head.
"I don't want to be the reason that they never want to see you. I don't want to be the reason that you never get to go out with them, or see them." Bellatrix said.
"You won't, Harry and Ginny are two of my best friends. Ron and the others as well, and all they want is to see me happy…" Hermione said.
"Well the second that there is trouble, I am leaving with or without you." Bellatrix said.
"Deal." Hermione nodded in agreement.
They kissed again.
"I should get going." Bellatrix said breaking the kiss.
"Do you have to?" Hermione asked.
"I have some things to take care of before tonight." Bellatrix said dismissively.
Hermione didn't ask what those things were.
"Just a question…what do you do all day?" Hermione asked.
"Read mostly. Or write, I keep a diary. Sometimes I go for long walks on the estate. I have a garden. Just depends on my mood." Bellatrix replied.
"Maybe we could go for a walk sometime." Hermione suggested.
"Perhaps…I would like to show you the garden." Bellatrix said.
Hermione smiled. They walked upstairs and Bellatrix changed back into the clothes she had on the night before, putting on her heels and pea coat.
"Don't worry love; I will be back here before you know it." Bellatrix said kissing Hermione again.
"Can you be here around 6?" Hermione asked.
"You got it." Bellatrix replied.
They walked down the stairs, and Hermione opened the door. It had started to snow again.
"I will see you tonight." Bellatrix said.
"Bye." Hermione said.
Bellatrix walked down the few steps and on to the street. Hermione watched her walk all the way down to the end; turn down an alley, and out of sight.
TBC…