Disclaimer: Still applies.
Author's note: Thanks for the reviews! Here it is…the next chapter!
Wide Awake: Chapter 19
Hermione and Bellatrix walked in the freshly fallen snow in the direction of Harry and Ginny's place. They talked about various things, and Hermione couldn't help at notice Bellatrix's panic rising as they got closer to the street to Harry's. Bellatrix looked around, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Everything was starting to look familiar to her.
"He lives here….at Number twelve Grimauld Place?" Bellatrix asked as they stopped in front of the steps.
"Yes. I thought you knew?" Hermione replied looking at Bellatrix perplexed.
Bellatrix said nothing; she just stood there, snow falling in her dark, raven curls. She seemed to be shivering and her eyes had turned cold.
"Bella if you'd rather not go, then we don't have to, I am sure they would understand." Hermione said placing a hand on Bellatrix's shoulder.
"No, we are already here, might as well make the most of it." Bellatrix snapped walking up the few steps to the front door.
Hermione followed still confused as to why Bellatrix was suddenly so angry. She knew that this house belonged to her cousin, but she wasn't sure what this house meant to her. Hermione raised her hand and lifted the snake shaped knocker. A few seconds later, the door opened, and Kreacher greeted them, but he stopped at the sight of Bellatrix.
"Madam Lestrange." He said bowing deeply.
Bellatrix looked a little discomforted by this gesture of welcome, but paid no mind to the elf as she strode past him into the sitting room.
"Hermione!" Ginny exclaimed embracing her best friend.
Hermione hugged her tight, then let go turning Ginny to face Bellatrix, without hesitation Ginny embraced Bellatrix. Bellatrix tensed but the red-head didn't let go. Bellatrix wrapped her arms around Ginny in return then pulled away.
"Bellatrix. Nice to see you." Ginny said smiling.
"Same to you." Bellatrix said inclining her head.
Hermione's shoulders felt lighter as the two women began to make small talk, just then a tall man with dark unruly hair walked into the room. Bellatrix's eyes met his and they stood momentarily suspended in time. Hermione and Ginny looked between them apprehensive, but were both shocked when Harry moved forward and extended his hand. Bellatrix took it and they shook hands.
"Bellatrix." He said.
"Mr. Potter." She replied.
"Please call me Harry." He said smiling at her.
The corners of Bellatrix's plump lips curved upwards in a small smile as they let go of each other's hands.
"Who else is here?" Hermione asked.
"Neville and Luna." Ginny replied.
"So Ron isn't here?" Hermione asked.
"No, he didn't feel up to it." Harry said looking at Bellatrix.
"I understand." Bellatrix said.
"Please come, dinner isn't quite ready yet, but you are welcome to have a look around the house or whatever." Harry said.
Bellatrix looked uncomfortable again as she stared around the house. It looked the same way it did thirty years ago. The portraits on the walls were all still there, but it looked brighter and more welcoming than it had, then Bellatrix moved away from the crowd and walked up the first flight of stairs right into the drawing room. She stopped and looked around the room; it still held the Black Family Tapestry. Bellatrix was surprised that Harry hadn't gotten rid of it, but then again she was certain that her Aunt Walburga had placed a permanent sticking charm on it, so no one could remove it. She had noticed the portrait of her on the way up, though it seemed like a silencing charm had been placed on it so it wouldn't shriek all the time. She stood there looking at her family, it was large, and she noticed that Andromeda's name had repaired itself on the tapestry next to hers and Narcissa's names.
"I didn't take it down, even though Sirius said he hated it, I couldn't take it down." Harry said walking into the room.
He handed Bellatrix a glass of wine, she took it with a word of thanks and sipped it. She remembered the taste.
"You got this from the cellar." She commented still looking at the tapestry.
"There is lots of wine down there. I don't drink much; I figured it would be a waste to let it go." Harry said.
Bellatrix nodded in agreement and continued to examine the room. She walked all around it, looking at the names of her ancestors. She felt a strange emptiness as she looked at them, an emptiness she couldn't explain, it had been so long since she had been here, and when she was here she hated it. Aunt Walburga was almost as bad as her own mother. Both of them obsessed with blood purity and wealth. Bellatrix remembered playing hide and seek with her sisters and cousins during family gatherings only to be scolded for playing such childish games. She laughed softly at the memories.
"Something on your mind?" Harry asked tentatively.
He wasn't entirely comfortable with her being here, and that feeling was mirrored in Bellatrix, but he could see the change in Hermione and he knew that happiness was caused by Bellatrix. And the change in Bellatrix was obvious, though she still carried herself with dignity and pride; he no longer saw the arrogance or contempt that she once held. She looked younger and healthier than he had ever seen her and when she smiled, it was a real genuine smile, not a sneer or grin.
"I…I grew up in this house with Sirius." Bellatrix said.
Harry's throat tightened at the mention of his dead godfather's name, but he didn't comment, he just listened.
"He was an intelligent boy…I mean man. We used to duel all the time when my sisters and I would visit. He was always a tad bit slower than me, though we were always at a stale mate." Bellatrix said continuing to walk around the room.
Her heels clicked on the old mahogany floor as she continued to walk around the room. She stopped at her family again.
"My mother always had a competitive relationship with my Aunt Walburga." Bellatrix said pointing to her mother and father.
"Why were they so competitive?" Harry asked though he figured he could guess the answer.
"Because, Pure Bloods are competitive over everything, Money, power, how many of their children have been betrothed, all that nonsense. My mother, Druella, was always on about how beautiful we all were. Andromeda and I look alike, but Cissy, she got all the good looks; she is the epitome of beauty. We all knew that she would have no trouble finding a husband. I on the other hand didn't want to be married, but I had no choice. Andromeda was hopeless. We were all afraid that she and Sirius would have to marry one another, because neither of them had someone to marry." Bellatrix explained smiling at the memory.
"Sounds weird." Harry said.
"It wasn't unusual for that to happen. Though it was rare, as I am sure you know, there are very few Pure Blood families where they are all related in some way." Bellatrix said dismissively.
They stood in an awkward silence for a few minutes, and then Bellatrix turned to face Harry.
"I know that nothing I say or do can change the past Harry. But I want you to know that it did not feel good to kill Sirius. At the time…I was so full of adrenaline that I didn't even know what was happening. Though I know that is no excuse, but I want you to know that I am sorry." Bellatrix said breaking the silence.
Harry knew that the emotion in her voice was genuine, the tears in her eyes were not fake and the look on her face was truly anguished. Harry blinked furiously, hot tears stinging his eyes. He had never expected to hear those words from her, though it didn't bring Sirius back, at least he now knew how she felt about it. Harry didn't know what to say.
"I am also sorry for the loss of the Elf…Dobby was his name right?" Bellatrix asked.
Harry nodded, this time unable to control his tears. Bellatrix's tears began to fall as well and she moved to embrace Harry but he held up his hands. Bellatrix stopped and eyed him curiously.
"I want to say thank you." Harry managed to say through his tears.
"For what? I am no one to thank Harry." Bellatrix said.
"You didn't tell Voldemort that Narcissa had lied…you didn't tell him that you knew about his Horcruxes….you helped us…" Harry said.
"Everything I did was for completely selfish reasons." Bellatrix said shaking her head.
She wasn't comfortable with this conversation anymore. Sure she had done many terrible things in her life, some on impulse and some on command, but what she did in the war, was all her, no influence, just her. And she didn't feel entirely comfortable talking to him about it.
"Regardless if they were selfish or not, you helped save my life." Harry said.
"Cissy saved your life." Bellatrix argued.
"That is true, but you helped and I want to say thank you." Harry said this time moving forward to embrace Bellatrix.
Bellatrix tensed, but after a few seconds relaxed, she hadn't been hugged by a man in a very long time, and she found that it wasn't completely uncomfortable, but she didn't want a repeat so she broke away from Harry.
"Would you like to hear a funny story about Sirius?" Bellatrix asked.
"Sure, that sounds great." Harry replied smiling.
They left the drawing room as Bellatrix recalled a story from their time at Hogwarts.
"We were down at the lake, and we dared him to get into the lake naked. Of course he was in Gryffindor and he wasn't going to stand being called a coward so he and James got into the water naked and swam a few feet out, well Snape, Lucius and I grabbed their clothes and took them with us, they had to run across the entire court yard butt ass naked, of course he paid me back ten fold in the next Quiddich match, but it was still worth it to see the look on McGonagall's face when they ran across the entrance hall naked." Bellatrix said smiling at the memory.
"And Sirius fell for that?" Harry asked incredulously.
"Yes, he was a very proud person and he wasn't going to let someone like me call him a coward." Bellatrix replied laughing a little.
Harry couldn't hold back a laugh, and soon they were both laughing so hard they had to clutch their stomachs and lean on the wall for support. Just then the dinning room door opened and everyone was looking at them in shock. Hermione had never seen Harry laugh so hard and she had never seen Bellatrix this happy. She beamed at them and finally they stopped laughing long enough for Ginny to announce that dinner was ready. They went in and sat down in their seats.
"Well guys we wanted to share with you the gender of our baby." Ginny said to the table at large.
Everyone looked up at Harry and Ginny who were beaming.
"It's a boy." Harry said grinning from ear to ear.
Everyone clapped and gave their congratulations to the happy couple. After an hour the table had been cleared and everyone was gathered in the sitting room for coffee and tea. Bellatrix sat uncomfortably next to Hermione on the sofa while everyone else chose their seats around the large coffee table in the middle of the room. Hermione placed a hand on Bellatrix's knee and smiled at her, Bellatrix managed a small smile, but Hermione could tell that she was very tense being in here.
"So Bellatrix, how long have you and Hermione been dating?" Ginny asked kindly looking over at the couple.
"A couple of weeks I suppose." Bellatrix replied.
"I bet she is smashing in bed huh?" Ginny asked smiling.
Hermione blushed profusely and the group laughed, Bellatrix didn't look amused.
"We actually haven't gotten that far yet. We are taking things slow, trying to get a feel for the relationship." Bellatrix said matter-of-factly.
Ginny stopped laughing and looked slightly ashamed, Hermione knew that she mean well. The red head was always blunt and straight forward with her questions.
"Seems like the sensible thing to do." Luna said approvingly.
Everyone agreed.
"How is work Harry?" Hermione asked changing the subject.
"Great, we have rounded up the last of a group of so called 'Death Eaters' and they are in Azkaban awaiting trial." Harry said before he could stop himself.
Bellatrix stood up abruptly and left the room, they heard the front door open and then slam. Hermione got up and followed after her lover, the room looked after Hermione in shock and Ginny punched Harry on the arm.
"Bella! Bella wait!" Hermione said catching up with Bellatrix.
She was surprised to see that Bellatrix hadn't disaparated, but that she was just walking down the street. Bellatrix stopped and allowed Hermione to approach her. She couldn't hold back the tears in her eyes as she looked at the younger witch.
"Bella, I'm sorry, I didn't know he would answer it that way. I shouldn't have asked that question." Hermione said.
"No, no Mione, I need to stop being so sensitive about my past. Some of those people who dare to call themselves Death Eaters are nothing but cowards! They didn't put in years of service, or suffer the retribution of a screw up, or a cell in Azkaban, they have no idea what it is like to be involved in something like that!" Bellatrix shouted.
Hermione backed away, Bellatrix was shaking. She knew that she needed to leave before she lost control.
"I'm sorry Hermione. I have to go." Bellatrix said as she turned on the spot and vanished leaving a stunned and hurt Hermione in her wake.
Hermione stood rooted to the spot for a few minutes before walking back into Grimauld Place to grab her coat.
"Mione I am sorry, I didn't mean for this to happen. I was stupid." Harry said meeting Hermione in the foyer.
"No Harry, I am sorry, it was too soon for this. Bye guys, thanks for dinner." Hermione said wiping the tears from her eyes as she put on her coat.
Harry didn't know what to say, he knew that he screwed up and ruined everything. But he didn't stop her as she left he house, closing the door behind her. Hermione walked back to her flat in tears. She knew that she shouldn't have taken Bellatrix to the party so soon, and she knew that Harry's job was to catch people like Death Eaters, and she knew that Bellatrix was still trying to accept that, that phase of her life was over. She shook the thoughts from her head as she arrived at her flat, undressing on the way to her room. She climbed into her bed in her underwear and curled up.
She cried herself to sleep.
TBC….