Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Author's Note: Sorry for the long wait. I am a tad bit rusty on this story. So this chapter may be slightly disappointing. Things are moving along though. Please read and review.
Wide Awake: Chapter 25
Hermione managed to pull herself together before walking downstairs to greet her guests. She knew that she was being an insensitive jerk to Bellatrix about wanting to take it to the next level, but she was unsure of how to approach Bellatrix about the subject, since Bellatrix always got very upset at the mention of it. Deciding that now was not the time to over analyze the situation, she shook the thoughts from her head and walked into the living room.
"I was beginning to think you had drowned." Bellatrix said walking over to Hermione and giving her a quick kiss on the lips.
"I just needed a minute, I am okay." Hermione replied giving Bellatrix a weak smile.
Bellatrix wasn't convinced, but decided that now was not the time to get into an argument with the younger witch.
"Ginny and Harry are here, Dora sent an owl along with Harry, something came up and she couldn't make it." Bellatrix said breaking the silence.
"I do need to talk to Ginny. I will call Dora later. Let's not keep them waiting." Hermione said distractedly walking into the living room.
"Mione!" Ginny exclaimed as Hermione walked into the room.
She got up from the couch and pulled Hermione into a strong hug. Hermione almost fell over backwards; she had forgotten how strong the younger witch was.
"I have missed you Mione." Ginny said as she let go of Hermione.
"I have missed you too Gin." Hermione replied.
"May I hug my best friend?" Harry asked approaching the two women.
Harry embraced Hermione gently.
"Nice to see you Harry." Hermione said.
"You look good." He said smirking.
"Thank you." Hermione replied blushing.
"So tell us, how are things with you and Bellatrix?" Ginny asked.
"Doesn't miss a beat does she?" Bellatrix asked walking back into the living room with a tray full of drinks.
Ginny smiled and took a drink off the tray.
"She is my best friend." Ginny replied giggling.
Hermione said nothing she just quietly sipped her drink. Bellatrix eyed the younger witch curiously for a few minutes, but was snapped out of her scrutiny by the sound of the doorbell ringing.
"I will get it Bella." Hermione said walking towards the door.
Hermione walked to the door, and opened it to see Neville and Luna, followed by Dean and Lavender. She smiled and stepped aside to allow them to enter, taking their coats as they walked into the living room to join the rest of the guests.
"Luna!" Ginny exclaimed hugging her friend.
Hermione saw Bellatrix tense as Luna walked into the room and went to stand next to her gripping her hand. Bellatrix looked at her puzzled, but said nothing, gripping her hand with the same amount of force. Hermione knew that Bellatrix felt slightly uneasy at the thought of her therapist being in the same room as she. Once everyone had arrived, Ron being the last of them, Bellatrix served dinner.
"Bella…you made lasagna!" Hermione said enthusiastically.
"Yes, well I haven't had this in years, and I figured that no one was on a diet, so why not." Bellatrix said waving her wand as the lasagna cut itself and served everyone an equal portion.
Everyone smiled and began to eat, each person slightly surprised that the older witch had even bothered to cook for them. Hermione sat next to Bellatrix, looking sideways at her lover as she ate. She really admired her lover for going through the trouble of cooking for so many people, but Hermione understood that Bellatrix needed to do this. After dinner every one went into the sitting room for drinks.
"Everyone, I wanted to invite you all over to apologize to everyone for my outburst a couple of weeks ago, that was unnecessary and I embarrassed Hermione. Please accept my apologies." Bellatrix said looking at the room.
Everyone looked at her perplexed for a moment, but everyone nodded. Then Harry got to his feet.
"Bellatrix, I should be apologizing as well, I shouldn't have said what I did about my work, I know that it is still a touchy subject for most." Harry said.
Hermione got to her feet and looked at her lover.
"I am sorry Bella, the whole thing…it was my fault, if I hadn't asked Harry about his work…then you wouldn't have been so upset, Bella I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Hermione said her voice on the edge of tears.
Bellatrix scooped the younger witch in her arms and kissed her head.
"Mione it's alright, I need to learn how to control my temper." Bellatrix whispered.
After a few minutes, they broke apart, and saw the whole room grinning at them. A light blush covered Bellatrix's cheeks as she and Hermione sat back down. Ginny smirked at Hermione who blushed an even deeper shade of red. The rest of the night went by smoothly, everyone caught up in light conversation and the names that Ginny and Harry had come up with for their baby on the way.
"It's getting late Hermione; we are going to get going." Ron said getting to his feet, Parvati following him.
Hermione walked with him to the door way.
"Thank you for making it Ron, it means a lot that my friends can support me." Hermione said softly.
Ron grinned at her, and Parvati pulled her into a hug.
"As many times as you have helped Harry and I through all kinds of sodding stuff, it would be really unfair of us not to support you Hermione." He said smiling.
He pulled her into an embrace and left the house. She turned to see Luna and Neville standing behind her, Neville looked slightly awkward but Luna was smiling at her.
"Thank you for having us." Luna said embracing Hermione.
"Thank you for coming, I know that it meant a lot to Bella." Hermione said embracing Neville.
They both nodded and left. Harry and Ginny were last to leave, Ginny pulled Hermione aside while Bellatrix and Harry seemed to be in a discussion over something, and wouldn't notice. They walked out onto the back patio, Ginny closed the door behind them.
"Alright Mione, what is going on?" Ginny asked not missing a beat.
"I-I um…well…" Hermione stammered.
Ginny moved to stand in front of the older witch, looking at her concerned.
"I-it's just…just that…I feel like I am forcing all he physical contact with Bella…she is afraid to let me touch her. I don't know why…I feel like I am being a complete ass because of it. Bella doesn't s-say much about i-it but I-I feel that way." Hermione said her voice racked with sobs.
Ginny pulled Hermione into a tight embrace.
"She will come around Mione; you just have to give her some time, keep yourself in check, and not beat yourself up over it. I am sure that Bellatrix is having the same kind of internal battle because she knows that she isn't giving you what you want. Talk to her when the time is right, and see what you can do to fix things, or just to set some boundaries. "Ginny said.
Hermione laughed softly and pulled away.
"Ironic that I am the therapist and you're the one giving me the advice that I would give others." Hermione said wiping her tears away.
"Well, sometimes we have to have an outside perspective to help us look at something a little more clearly, even if we know how to handle the situation with others, we don't always know how to handle our own. I learned that while playing for the Holy Head Harpies." Ginny said laughing.
Hermione smiled.
"Thank you Gin, I don't know how I would have made it through all of this without you." Hermione said.
"You know you would do the same for me, just be patient Mione, talk to her, get everything out and go from there. It can't hurt to know." Ginny said hugging her friend once more.
"We should get back inside." Hermione said opening the door.
"There you are! I thought you had left without me." Harry said helping Ginny into her coat.
"I just needed to talk to Mione, everything is fine dear." Ginny said kissing his cheek.
"Thank you for coming, it really meant a lot to have everyone here." Bellatrix said moving to stand next to Hermione, taking her hand in hers.
"We enjoyed ourselves, thank you for having us. Give some thought about what I said Bellatrix, and owl me." Harry said opening the door.
"Will do Harry, thank you again." Bellatrix said as Harry and Ginny walked out the door, closing it behind them.
Hermione let go of Bellatrix's hand and walked into the kitchen to begin cleaning up the dinner plates. Bellatrix sighed, she knew that Hermione was still upset about earlier and went to stand behind Hermione, wrapping her arms around her torso, burying her face in Hermione's hair. Hermione relaxed slightly and turned off the tap.
"Bella, I'm sorry." Hermione said finally.
"Sorry for what my love?" Bellatrix asked hugging her tighter.
"For earlier…I just feel…I force too much, and I know that it is going to take some time for you to let me in….I guess I am just too young to understand that need for space that you have." Hermione said, her eyes close and breathing shallow.
Bellatrix turned Hermione around, placing her hands on Hermione's shoulders.
"You may instigate things more than I do, but Mione, I don't make it easy for you to keep all of that in check. I mislead you and I pull away because…well because I am scared. It will just take a little time for me to really allow you to fully commit to me in that way." Bellatrix said.
Hermione was shocked, she hadn't expected Bellatrix to be so forthcoming with all of this, then again she did treat her at one point and wasn't surprised that Bellatrix had really started to work on opening up.
"I am not going anywhere." Hermione said closing her eyes.
"I know you aren't." Bellatrix breathed her lips close to Hermione's.
Hermione's body began to tremble, she was fighting the urge to kiss the older witch, but Bellatrix made the choice for her. She moved forward and placed a soft kiss on her lips, pulling her close.
"Hermione, please don't beat yourself up over it, none of this is your fault, but we should start to slow down a little until I can figure something out, something that will work for both of us." Bellatrix said breaking the kiss.
Hermione nodded she felt slightly better, but not enough to where she was confident in her ability to keep her desire for Bellatrix in check.
"You look exhausted my love." Bellatrix said rubbing Hermione's cheek.
"I am." Hermione replied closing her eyes.
Bellatrix waved her wand and the dished began to wash and stack themselves.
"Let's go to bed shall we?" Bellatrix said taking Hermione's hand.
The two women walked upstairs and changed into pajama pants and tank tops. Bellatrix lay down on the bed, gesturing for Hermione to follow. Hermione lay down next to Bellatrix curling into her, Bellatrix wrapping her arm tight around the younger witch as she pulled the blankets over them. Hermione cried silently into Bellatrix's neck as they lay there in the dark. Bellatrix ran her fingers through the younger witch's hair.
"Mione, shhh it's alright, get some sleep and we will figure this out in the morning." Bellatrix said pulling Hermione's tighter.
Hermione seemed to relax, but she continued to cry until she fell asleep. Bellatrix lay there in the dark listening to Hermione's breathing. She knew some changes had to made, not just for Hermione, but for herself as well.
"Nox." She murmmered.
The lights in the room went out, and she pulled Hermione closer, falling asleep shortly after.