Disclaimer: I do not own PJO or HoO
As predicted, Percy was restless the moment he learned that he could walk again.
It was amusing on Annabeth's part to see her beloved whining on his hospital bed like a child, wanting to continue on with his duties as the leader yet not being given permission by, not only Will, but also Jason, Nico, and Thalia. While Jason, too, was bedridden, he did not seem to mind the only chance at rest he could get with the lives of less than thirty or so people in his hands.
Annabeth continued on as the temporary head, though she was more grateful to have shared the weight with the real leaders now that they have gained consciousness. While she remained as the physical manifestation of leadership, Percy was more than happy to lend his services, albeit restricted, when she requested. Nevertheless, it was still much too straining on her part as Head Engineer.
Briares was making excellent progress, even more so than they expected, yet not quite as they hoped. It was meant to be finished by the end of the year, prior to its destruction. However, following the incident concerning the Rogues, they were set back to at least a year and a half. Evelyn still hasn't provided them with a refill of inventory, which was problematic. She also had to account for the losses due to the dismantling of other useful machines crafted by the other engineers to gather materials for Briares. Annabeth knew how many of the genius inventions would have been useful against the impending war.
She had also been faced with the challenge regarding the limits of her sanity. There was only so much a woman, such as herself, could take without breaking completely. She thought the cracks in her mind since Percy's attack would be healed now that he was awake, alas, that was not the case. She was well-aware of the lapses in her consciousness, the moments where the vision darkens and she regains sight at a completely different location. Thalia worries but remains silent. Piper was never the silent type.
With her newfound insanity came momentary shifts of her mood, quick changes that gave her and everyone around her whiplash. After snapping at both Clarisse La Rue and Charles Beckendorf during their weekly conference, laughing hysterically at her desperate situation, and crying her eyes out for her losses in the span of an hour, Piper believed that it was about time that Percy was informed, much to Annabeth's displeasure. Her mate had enough to worry about.
"When was the last time you've met with Chiron?" He inquired softly, rubbing his thumb against her knuckles to soothe her.
She allowed herself to relax, though the hardened, displeased, the expression on her face remained. "The last time we've been there." She replied honestly. That must have been two months ago at that point, maybe more. She could not remember.
Percy frowned, stilling his caress for a moment before continuing. "You should have gone by yourself. It would have helped."
"You know that it wouldn't. I was too busy thinking about everything, Percy. I had the Demigods on my hands, and Briares, and… you, near-dead… the last thing I could think of was my own mental health."
He sighed, his worry evident through the cute way he scrunched his eyebrows together as he regarded her. "Please, Annabeth, if you're not going to do it for yourself, do it for me."
She nodded, though both of them knew that she was only conceding to appease him. She would not be meeting with the facility psychologist any time soon, not without him, at least. "When did Will say you can leave?"
He gestured vaguely to himself, careful not to disrupt the tubes connected to his arms. "A week, maybe two. I don't get it. I'm perfectly fine."
He wasn't. Percy had lost his glow since he was hospitalized. His once bronzed skin was pale and he had lost too much weight for Annabeth to be comfortable with. There were dark, heavy bags under his eyes for when he awoke from terrifying nightmares he believed she did not know of. He seemed so weak, so different from the man she had met all those months ago.
No. He was still Percy. He was still full of life and determination. His physical limitations were nothing to him. That is what she wished to believe and what she knows is true. The fire burning in his ocean green eyes was the very same she woke up to every morning and what everyone in their organization was reassured with.
Will approached them just before Annabeth could formulate a response. In the week or so Percy had been awake, Will and Calypso had taken turns redressing his wounds. She refused to remove her gaze from his face as the steady hand of the attending doctor unraveled the blood-stained pieces of cloth that were wrapped around his chest, slowly revealing the extent of his damage. Her gaze drifted downward once and her eyes watered at the sight that awaited her.
There were raw, pink scars marring his skin, stitched cleanly together by an even professional hand. The most violent of his newly-acquired gashes was a long, diagonal, jagged scar tracing from his left collarbone down to just below his ribs. On the center of his abdomen, in-between his lungs, was the bullet wound that had taken him down and nearly killed him. He would have died. Annabeth could not even formulate the thought but she knew that it was a miracle that her beloved was awake at that moment. He had lost so much blood.
Once his wounds were properly dressed, Will excused himself to what was essentially his office. Since the incident, he never strayed from the infirmary. He spent his every waking moment tending to the needs of the injured, losing sleep and soaking his hands in blood without once faltering. He was an amazing man.
Her gaze, once more, settled on her mate staring blankly into space. She had not asked him what he had seen during his mission, what had caused one of the most capable men in their organization to falter and lose against four insane rebels. Annabeth believed that Percy needed time away from what he believes was his failure, away from the trauma of having to even think of taking the life of another. She knew she would have to ask eventually. She knew she would have to understand what had happened.
"I know it hurts you to see me like this, Wise Girl. You don't have to pretend you're okay." He had forced a smile, hiding the obvious pain he was experiencing as he shifted slightly on the mattress. "What are you not telling me?"
She shook her head, erasing the thought from her mind because, at that point in their relationship, Percy could read her as easily as an open book. "It's nothing important." She lied, earning a disappointed look in response. She bit her lip, "I'll tell you once it matters."
Conceding, he nodded and rested his head once more on the headboard. "You're looking better." He noted, sparing her a side-glance as he tightened his grip slightly on her fingers.
Since the beginning of Percy's recovery, Annabeth's motivation to live had returned alongside the urgency of her responsibility. No longer had she skipped her meals and exercise. Her insomnia hasn't been fully cured yet, though she had been getting more hours of sleep despite being alone in her suite. She looked halfway decent and that was the best she could ask for.
"You still look like crap." She laughed weakly, accepting his playful pout as she ran a hand through his limp black hair. He was doing better, though. They both were.
It took Percy a whole week to convince Will to let him out of the suffocating infirmary. Her beloved had admitted that the constant smell of medicine and bleach masking blood was nauseating to him and 'impeded his recovery', as he mentioned. He was, of course, limited to trusting his wheelchair for maneuverability and was forced to return once every day for medication and check-ups but it was a much better option than being treated as an invalid.
The news of his release, of course, spread like wildfire throughout their organization. The corridors were lined with grateful members who greeted him with wide smiles as Annabeth wheeled him out. He responded with equal enthusiasm though even having too many people within close proximity seemed to bother him thus she subtly rushed them through the growing crowd and into the facility's pool.
Percy requested to be placed in the spot with the most sunlight, near the opposite end of the large room. The assaulting scent of chlorine caused her to make a face akin to disgust, earning a laugh from her mate. While Annabeth grew fonder of large bodies of water since the Pairing, that did not mean she will ever get used to the strong smell. Percy, however, basked in it.
"This is the closest I'll ever be to my mom and dad." He said as he stared at the untouched waters. "I've always sought comfort in swimming. Since I'm like this," He gestured vaguely to his wheelchair-ridden self, "Sitting here is good enough."
She placed both of her hands on his shoulders, "Then we'll stay here for as long as you need to." She told him, the sunlight from the large second-story windows warming her skin.
He hummed, closing his eyes and tilting his head towards the light. "Yeah, that would be nice."
They remained in silence for a while. Annabeth took a chair from the nearest table and positioned herself beside her beloved, keeping their hands laced together because, with her faltering mentality and his aching despair, physical contact was comforting to them.
"You'll be going through a few days of physical therapy to regain your strength. Will says that you'll be having sessions with Calypso instead." Annabeth informed him after a while, knowing she wouldn't be able to ignore the crushing weight of reality for too long.
He nodded numbly, "Okay." He fiddled with his bandages, staring off in the distance.
Percy was more prone to uncharacteristic bouts of silence since his awakening, as if his mind was elsewhere and his thoughts were too overwhelming. He had never been the type of person to settle into deep thought. She, at first, believed that it would be his impulsive personality that would be the death of him. However, seeing him in such a state worried her further. He used to tell her everything in his head. Why was he so quiet?
"Penny for your thoughts?" She chimed, earning his attention.
He smiled sadly, "Sorry. I was doing it again, wasn't I?" She nodded but said nothing else, expecting him to continue. Percy sighed. "That night, when Nico, Jason, and I went on the mission. I've been thinking about what would've happened if… if everything went wrong, if Jason and I weren't as lucky as we were."
Annabeth's eyes widened. Her curious, broken mind had been gnawing at her to discover the truth behind Percy's attack for such a long time now that she felt taken aback when he mentioned it. A part of her wanted to prompt him, to have him reveal the cause of his nightmares. The larger, saner part of her suggested otherwise. Percy would not want to relive his trauma, not so early into his recovery. She wanted to know, yes, but not at the expense of hurting the man she loved.
"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, Perce." She interrupted before he said anything more. It had taken her a while before she had fully spoken to him about her near-rape and he had been so gracious as to accept her completely despite what she was hiding. It was only right for her to do the same.
He shook his head, insistent. "For the sake of the Demigods, it's only best for the Lead Strategist to know what the rogues have been up to." He paused, averting his gaze. "And you deserve to know what happened to me, Annabeth. You've suffered far more than I have and I want you to know why."
She placed a kiss on his knuckles, unsure how to react. Is this truly for the best? Was he forced to reveal such a dark part of his past? She fought the conflict arising in her mind and settled on a response, "If you're sure. I don't want you to think that you're doing this because you owe me something."
"I'm not." He replied, closing his eyes. He took a breath and spoke, "When we were ambushed in the storeroom, the rogues who attacked us were… they were insane Annabeth. There was no talking to them. They were too far gone. Ethan… he was there. He took down Nico before we could even think about what was happening."
His hands were shaking as he looked at them. "They… they think I was the reason why their leader was gone. I didn't know what they were talking about. Jason and I fought them and we were doing really well until Ethan pulled out his gun. We told Nico to run while he could, to warn the others. Ethan grazed him while he was running but there was no stopping Nico. I was glad that he wasn't there to see us after.'
Percy's eyes were burning with hatred when she met his gaze. "They didn't even give us a chance. Ethan reloaded. One of his cronies lunged at us. We fought back but they were ruthless and unforgiving and out for blood. Jason was cornered. I tried to save him. Ethan shot at me but the bullet missed. It was obvious they didn't know how to use the gun." There was bitterness in Percy's tone as he spat out the traitor's name. "His third bullet hit home. Jason. I flew at him but he shot me too." He paused, "The next thing I knew, I was in the infirmary."
The way he regaled the incident was much too straightforward, as if he did not wish to dwell on the details any more than he should have. There was an unknown emotion in the depths of his ocean green irises, a fear that she could not quite place. She opened her mouth to speak, to assure him, but found no words. What can she say to this man that will help him? She felt just as lost as he did.
He broke the uncomfortable silence, his brave face melting and morphing. "I've never seen… I never thought that I would see people, meet people, like that. I've never been so terrified of a human, a living breathing person. Ethan… those Rogues, they're not human anymore, Annabeth. They're like those damn monsters outside the vault door, feeding off of the despair of the survivors. I'm not even sure if I'm still completely here."
Annabeth choked down a sob and pressed her forehead lightly against his, allowing her thumbs to gently brush away the tears he did not know he had shed. She knew that there was no coming back from this state. The fear and paranoia and trauma that was instilled in Percy Jackson from his encounter will remain with him despite how many sessions of therapy he has with Dr. Brunner. His wounds may heal but his mind never will, not completely.
She steadied his shaking shoulders, examining the faint white scars on his bicep overlapped by rawer, fresher marks. Her touch was gentle, coaxing him out of the dark pit he had dug for himself. This seemed familiar, the gesture, the soft words she spoke. She realized it was exactly what Thalia and Piper had been doing for her. She had never been more grateful for friends as innately good as them.
For a moment, Annabeth fought against a persuasive voice in the back of her head, a voice that only grew louder the longer she stayed inside the facility. The chlorine didn't bother her anymore, she realized. She welcomed anything that could pull her out of her thoughts long enough to help Percy as best as she could. Were they too far gone also? She did not think so, or so she hoped.
"What would have happened, if I had not survived?"
Annabeth bit her lip, not at all prepared to have such a heavy question thrown at her. "You did survive, Percy."
He shook his head viciously, "Annabeth, you know better than anyone how slim my chances were. I fought to stay alive but what if that wasn't enough?"
"I would have died with you." She stated simply, as best as she could while fighting the gnawing fear gripping at her throat. She had only been with him for so long and she could not imagine a life, or whatever pathetic excuse of life was left in the world, without him.
He gripped her hand steadily, "I will do whatever it takes to make sure you get out of this alive. You're going to rebuild the world, Annabeth. Make your monument that will last thousands of years."
"That means nothing without you." She croaked desperately, slashing away at the possibility of losing him. She could see it. She could see him sacrificing himself to save her. The future of the world, he believed, was on her hands. She denied it.
He is the hope of humanity and she will never believe otherwise.
It did not take long before he realized that there was no convincing her. Instead, he held her hands gently, allowing his gaze to travel to every corner of the room. He was reestablishing his senses, she realized. Soon, he will be able to stand on his own two feet without any guidance from her. Then, he will be able to train again, to perform all of his duties as Leader. Until then, she allowed him to anchor himself to her.