Chapter 2: Only Pain

..

Just wanted to be good

Just wanted to be gold

Just wanted to be god

Just wanted to be

Only pain, all in vain

..

The street lamps bathed the world in a dirty yellow light. The sun was completely down, and Danny knew it was about ten o'clock by how high the moon was in the sky. He stood on the sidewalk and stared up at Elmerton Apartments. Most of the windows in the apartments were dark, except for Valerie's.

He shouldn't be there. He knew that. He shouldn't be standing outside of Valerie's apartment building like a fucking creep, and he sure as hell shouldn't be thinking about going up there to talk to her. He'd been flying through the ghost zone for who knows how long, screaming and crying, and begging for his friends and family to answer back. He could hardly string a coherent thought together. How could he possibly explain to Valerie what he was in this state? How could he ever explain to her in a way that she wouldn't immediately try to kill him afterwards?

She hated him.

But he couldn't be alone. He couldn't...

He was rooted to the spot on the sidewalk.

Suddenly, she was standing there, silhouetted in the window. She was closing the curtains and hadn't seen him yet. Danny was frozen, his heart beating against his ribs.

She paused halfway through the action. Danny, sure that she had spotted him, bolted. He half expected her—wanted her to chase after him, but she never did.

...

Danny hiked up the bag on his shoulders and rang the doorbell. He waited a minute then rang it again. When still no one answered the door, Danny sat down on the porch, leaning his back against a stone column. He quietly sat there for several minutes, wondering if Vlad was even home, and if he wasn't, when would he return? Loneliness and grief started to creep up on him again (what if Vlad wouldn't even take him in?) when the door to the manner suddenly swung open.

Vlad stood in the doorway looking like he had quickly put himself together. His eyes were slightly red, and his hair was messily put back.

His eyes widened when they landed on Danny, who sat frozen on the ground. "Daniel," he said, "I didn't think you... Would you like to come in?"

After a small pause, Danny replied with a quiet "yeah" and stood up.

"Have you had anything to eat?" Vlad asked.

Danny shook his head wordlessly.

Vlad ushered him inside and led him to the kitchen. Vlad started to make something for him, but Danny quickly found some leftovers in the fridge and elected to heat it up in the microwave—much to Vlad's distaste.

He ate it slowly while Vlad sat across the table and watched with curiosity and concern. He wasn't really hungry. He had spent most of the last month and a half in his ghost from, and he didn't need to eat as Danny Phantom.

Vlad spoke suddenly making Danny jump. "You were gone for weeks, Daniel," he said, shattering the heavy silence that had settled over them. "Where were you?"

Danny didn't answer at first. He wanted to ignore Vlad and continue eating. He knew he wouldn't be able to finish his food if he told Vlad. He wasn't really hungry, but it was good food. However, it started to taste like sand in his mouth as he inevitably began thinking back on the desperate month in the ghost zone. Finally, he put his fork down with a clang against the ceramic plate.

"I was searching."

"For what?"

"For...them..." he said in little more than a whisper.

Tears sprang to his eyes as the wound suddenly tore wide opened again. "I searched and searched the ghost zone, but I never found any trace!" He looked up at Vlad with an agonized expression. "I expected at least Tucker, and Sam! Didn't they care enough to stay?! Did they care at all about me?!"

Tears of anger and regret raced down his face unchecked. He didn't care if Vlad saw him like this. He didn't care about anything at all.

He knew deep down that it was selfish to wish his friends and family had become ghosts, but they left him so suddenly and so alone. And the worst part was that it was his fault.

"I don't...understand..."

A sob bubbled out of his throat, followed by another, and his face crumpled. He hid behind his hands and cried.

He felt a hand on his shoulder. It was cold and heavy, a parody of comfort.

"It'll be alright, Danny," Vlad hushed.

...

At first Dan had rebelled against his prison. It wasn't like he was physically beating against the insides of the thermos, it was more like a war of wills. He thought he had it once during the beginning, but the thermos shoved him back down into subdued semiconscious. But he had bounded back and fought at it again. With each successive attempt, he could feel it's hold weakening, and he came back a little stronger each time.

But then suddenly...

There was light.

After floating in oblivion for so long, Dan saw light—blinding, searing light. His form solidified, bringing back touch, taste, and smell, as well as a sense of disorientation. His body had to remember where everything went and that, yes, this was how it was supposed to be, not some nebulous bundle of energy in a fucking thermos.

The moment of panic and extreme disorientation passed and his vision straightened. He realized he was on his hands and knees, and that there was a slight pressure around his head. He raised a hand to feel a band of cool metal like a crown or a circlet. Well, that was weird, but it could await further investigation as soon as he got off the floor.

As soon as he tried to stand, an all too familiar female voice said, "Stay down."

Unprepared for the sudden compulsion, he instantly fell back on his knees. He tried again to stand, trying to force his muscles to work, but the more he fought against the unseen force keeping him down, the more a headache began to build, until sudden agony seized his core. It was absolute and pure in the most brutal sense. The accident in the portal was excruciating. It had felt like burning from the inside out, but at least he had a way to describe it. This didn't feel like anything but pain. It didn't burn or wrench his insides, it just fucking hurt.

Finally, the agony released him, and he felt breathless despite not needing air.

"Wow, so that's what it does," Valerie said, half amused and half in genuine surprise. "I think an eardrum burst with all your screaming, by the way."

Had he screamed? He couldn't even hear himself in that moment. Everything outside of the pain was impossible to sense.

He wanted to say something, a snarky reply, a curse at her, anything, but his vocal cords seized up, still traumatized from a moment ago.

"Valerie, I didn't give you this power to torture him," another all too familiar voice said.

Dan's jaw set and his lips pulled away in a snarl. Clockwork, of course, of course it would be him.

"I didn't do anything," she denied. "I think it's because he tried to get up."

"Why don't we let him up? We don't benefit from him being prostrate on the ground."

"I don't know. I'm pretty sure I benefit from it."

"Oh, I bet you do," Dan said, finally finding his voice. He raised his head and looked up at a scowling Valerie standing right in front of him.

She had her arms crossed over her chest and stood resolute in her usual red battle suit, but around her right ring finger was a thin silver band with a tiny red stone in the center.

"Does seeing me on my hands and knees do it for ya, Val?" he taunted with a malicious leer. Her scowl only deepened.

"Don't call me 'Val'," she spat. "And get the fuck up."

Without even a conscious thought, he was suddenly on his feet. He stared at her, annoyed and more than a little anxious. "How are you able to do that?" he demanded.

"The circlet and the ring are connected," Clockwork jumped in to explain. "The wearer of the ring can control any ghost wearing the circlet. It was made to control a spirit even stronger than you centuries ago. Think of it as the opposite of the Crown of Fire and Ring of Rage."

Dan glared at the time ghost, who was, by the way, now in his child form, only adding to the ridiculousness of the situation. "What's all this for?" he asked.

"I've called her here to discuss your...parole—for a lack of a better word. You're going to help rebuild the world you destroyed."

"Why don't you just destroy me? Wouldn't that be easer?" Dan growled. He didn't particularly like the idea of oblivion by Clokwork's hand, but it was either that, being stuck in the thermos for the rest of eternity, or being forced to spend time surrounded by people he had tried to kill, with Valerie keeping him on a short leash.

"That is not my way. And Valerie, though she disputed it at first, has come to respect my principles. We've come to agree that it would be better to use you rather than simply kill you."

"I just realized, there is one small snag in your plan," Valerie said. "Nobody is going to allow that maniac anywhere near the city even if I say it's safe."

"Most ghosts can take on a more human appearance, usually resembling what they looked like in life, including our ward," Clockwork said, nodding to Dan.

Dan flicked an uneasy glance at Clockwork.

"He already told me," Valerie said, quickly stepping in.

Dan's attention immediately shot to her. She wouldn't meet his eyes, but she wore a somewhat vulnerable expression.

A wry smile pulled at his mouth and he shook his head. He let out a bitter laugh as he said, "Of course. That's why you agreed to any of this, isn't it? It all makes sense now!" he declared theatrically. He let out a harsh string of chuckles. "I'm touched, actually—really and truly," he said as he put his hand over where his heart once beat.

"Shut up!" she spat. "I know you're not Danny. He's dead. I know you killed him."

He wanted to say she was wrong. He wanted to tell her that he still remembered everything from Danny's life, to tell her he still had all his hopes and dreams, remind her that he was her precious Danny's tainted soul manifest, but when he opened his mouth to make a retort, no sound came out—not even a rasp of air over his vocal chords.

Valerie's face lit up with a sly look. She tilted her head and sent him a mock expression of pity. "Aww, don't have a reply? Cat got your tongue?"

He sent her a mutinous look. Oh, he had a reply, and a few choice words he'd like to share, if only he could actually say them.

She took another step closer just into his circle of reach. Bad move, he thought and reached out to grab her, or hit her, or anything—any kind of retaliation to prove that he wasn't totally powerless. But as he raised his arms to attack her, his muscles suddenly froze. Valerie's smirk only widened. He pushed on the force, but as a sharp thunderclap of pain shot through his temples he wisely chose to stop.

"You can't do anything against the wearer of the ring, isn't that what you told me, Clockwork?" Valerie said snidely.

"Yes, I believe it is."

For the first time in a very long time, panic clutched Dan's core. He tried to speak again. A word, just one word to prove he still had some power. He pushed past the pain encircling his head, ignoring its warning, until just as before the all consuming, indescribable pain gripped him.

When it finally released him he was still standing somehow, though his legs felt too weak to support him. Maybe her command from before still applied. Could he not even scream at the pain? He couldn't know.

He glanced at Valerie. She wouldn't look at him, her eyebrows pinched. Well, apparently she wasn't enjoying this as much as she pretended to.

"Alright, I think that's enough," Clockwork said. "Please give Daniel his tongue back."

"Fine," she said almost as some sort of halfhearted protest. "You can talk again."

"Bitch," he said the second he felt the compulsion was gone. He still sounded slightly breathless.

She raised an eyebrow. "Look who's talking. The only bitch I see is you."

A reluctant smirk lifted the corners of his lips. "I've missed this. Our little insult matches are always too much fun," he said dryly.

She snorted and gave him an unimpressed look. "Sure. Can you just do your shape shifting thing already?"

Dan didn't feel compelled to do it, so it must have registered as a request rather than a demand. Interesting. He'd file that away for later use.

"Be careful how you word a request or a demand, Valerie," Clockwork said as if reading Dan's mind. "Don't mix up one for the other."

"Thanks, Clockwork," Valerie said brightly. She sent Dan a smug look.

Dan shot the time ghost a glare, but transformed without further prompting.

It wasn't like when he was still a halfa, twin rings sweeping over his body. For some reason that didn't translate over. Instead, a bright light encompassed his form completely. A moment later the light died, and he stood, blue skin now peachy with artificial life and white hair, black. His clothes were transformed into an ordinary looking pair of blue-jeans and a white t-shirt.

He held up his hands level with his shoulders in a halfhearted pose. "Ta-da," he said flatly.

Valerie's eyes widened a fraction and she looked over Dan with apparent interest.

"Why, Valerie, are you enjoying the view?" he said, giving her bedroom eyes.

"Fuck you," she snapped. A blush faintly peaked through her dark skin.

"Right here, right now?"

"Children, please," Clockwork interceded. He morphed into his elderly from, as if they had aged him years in a couple seconds.

Valerie raised a hand to her brow, massaging the spot furiously. "I just thought you might look like you're younger self—before everything happened, and you were still human."

His face split in a too wide grin. "Oh, I can do that too."

Light engulfed him, and suddenly he was his younger self. "Hey, Valerie, hows it going?" he said, perfectly imitating his squeaky adolescent voice.

Valerie looked like she had been shot. Her eyes were wide in absolute horror. Dan would have enjoyed seeing her so stricken if it wasn't for the fact that he would likely face repercussions for pushing her that far.

No, fuck it. He still enjoyed it. Consequences be damned.

Suddenly rage replaced shock. "Change back," she spat.

There was no room for negotiation, and he instantly changed back into his adult human form against his will.

Clockwork sighed loudly. "Ancients give me strength. I'm going to have to end this orientation here. Now please leave my lair," he said as a portal appeared.

"Where will we end up? Back at the hospital?" Valerie asked.

The ghost nodded. "Yes."

"Alright." She glanced at Dan with a smirk. "Lets go."

His legs started to move with their own volition. Dan tried to fight it, but quickly gave up when he felt the warning spike of pain in his head.

He shot Clockwork a venomous look over his shoulder. "So you're really letting this happen? You're going to pimp me out to my worst enemy?" he said, still forced to move forward.

"Stop," Valerie suddenly said.

She did an about-face on the ball of her heel and took a step towards Dan. "I'm not like you. I don't take some kind of sick satisfaction out of making people suffer. You're just gonna be there to pay off your debt. Got it?"

Without waiting for an answer, she turned around again, and marched forward towards the portal. She didn't prompt Dan to follow her, but he did so anyway with only a small moment of hesitation.