"Why don't you just go say sorry to Nessa?" Marnie repeated the same thing everyone else had been thinking.
Raihan sighed. "Look, it's not that simple, okay." Gloria didn't know how but the four of them had ended up going to grab a coffee. It was a nice day out in Motostoke – the sun was out, and it was just the right temperature, neither too warm nor too cold.
"It's just two words. I'm. Sorry. Can make it three, if you want." Marnie held up a hand, counting with her fingers. "I. Am. Sorry. There, we've given you two options."
That earned Marnie a glare. "I would probably go apologise to Nessa if I felt like I did anything wrong. Which, by the way, I don't. She should be the one saying sorry to me!"
"She didn't do anything wrong either," Gloria reasoned. "I mean, Kabu and Marnie didn't know about this until you told them, right? Are you sure she told the entire League?" Gloria herself hadn't heard anything about this from Nessa until Raihan brought it up.
Raihan stayed silent for a moment. Then he mumbled, "Well, Milo texted me about it…"
"That's just Milo. Milo is not the entire League," Marnie deadpanned.
"Why do I even bother talking to you guys?" Raihan muttered. Kabu was quietly listening to the whole exchange, and while he looked as stoic as ever, there was amusement in his eyes. Gloria wondered what he thought of the younger Gym Leaders and their personal problems. "Fine. I'm an idiot, okay?" He stirred his coffee. "I should go find Nessa."
"Actually, I hardly see you two talking to each other," Gloria commented. Come to think of it, Nessa and Raihan seemed to actively avoid each other during League meetings. She was surprised Nessa even invited Raihan to do a photoshoot with her.
Raihan seemed a bit fidgety. "Uh, there's some history, but it's nothing big. No beef or anything at least." He paused. "Wow, isn't this a great day to get some training done?"
If he wanted to change the subject, he could at least be a bit more subtle about it, but they let it go. "Yes, my Centiskorch has been itching for another battle. I think the Gym Challenge this season wasn't quite enough for him." Kabu took a sip of his tea. "I might have to bring him to the Wild Area to let him work off all that excess energy."
"Oh, yeah. My Goodra too. She's been a bit grumpy," Raihan glanced at Gloria at the mention of the dragon pokemon, and Gloria self-consciously averted her gaze, looking down at her phone. "Wonder when the next tournament will be?"
"That's up to Gloria, isn't it? She can call for one whenever she wants." Kabu looked at her, and she turned towards him, glad to have an excuse to not talk to Raihan.
"I'm thinking of calling one next month. Things have been really hectic lately." She eyed her milk tea, watching the condensation roll down the sides of the cup. Marnie had asked why she even bothered buying bubble tea when she didn't want the pearls. Gloria didn't like pearls. And yes, she knew her drink was essentially just tea with milk, but there was something different about ordering milk tea outside. It tasted better, somehow.
"I heard you're looking for a secretary, yes?" Kabu commented. "Leon used to have one when he first started with his champion duties. He decided to handle his affairs on his own a few years later, but a secretary would be a great help if you are new to the working world."
"Do you have a secretary?" Gloria asked. The thought of employing one still sounded surreal. In her mind, secretaries were for busy CEOs and corporate leaders, not for pokemon trainers like her. But then again, she wasn't the typical pokemon trainer.
Kabu nodded. "Most of the Gym Leaders do. It allows us to focus more on the actual battling and how we can further develop the trainers under our care. Though Melony prefers to do everything on her own, from what I know."
"I don't have one either," Marnie said, drinking her bubble tea as she spoke. Her pearls were almost gone. "Don't really need one. Piers has been helping me a lot, at least when he isn't organising concerts for his fans."
Gloria looked at Raihan. The Gym Leader noticed her stare and raised an eyebrow at her. "Why, are you wondering if I have one?" he asked. "What do you think?"
"I feel like you do. Or you wouldn't be able to get anything done," Gloria answered him honestly, and Raihan sighed, rolling his eyes. Marnie held back a snort.
"Somehow I get the feeling that you're making me out to be a lot less competent than I actually am," he muttered, sounding almost offended, but there was a twinkle in his eyes and a small smile on his lips that implied otherwise. "I could go without a secretary if I really wanted to, but why make life difficult for myself?" He paused. "How's your search so far, though? Did any of the applicants catch your eye?"
"I haven't really taken a look. There were a lot of applicants, so I…kind of panicked. But I'll look through all the candidates when I head back to Wyndon." She took a sip of her drink, sighing contentedly as the smooth creamy taste of milk tea hit her tongue. "What are you supposed to look out for though, when it comes to hiring a secretary?" she wondered.
Kabu held up three fingers. "At the barest minimum, your secretary should be excellent at time management, people management and project management. If the person is incapable of doing any of the above, then they shouldn't be working that closely with you. Remember that secretaries help take the administrative burden off your shoulders." Kabu lowered his hand. "Actually, Chairman Rose's secretary was highly competent."
"Oleana?" Gloria thought about the blonde woman who was always by Chairman Rose's side, helping him to execute his plan. They had battled once at the Rose Tower, and she remembered Oleana's dedication to furthering Chairman Rose's goals and ensuring everything went smoothly. Was that the mark of a great secretary, to have unwavering faith in their boss?
Anyway, despite her abilities, Oleana was cold and standoffish. Gloria recalled that the older woman hadn't been particularly welcoming to either her or Hop when they were in Hulbury. Gloria wasn't sure if she could, or wanted, to work with someone so…distant.
"Yes, Oleana. I heard she's now doing community service on the Chairman's behalf in the Galar Mines. A good thing I suppose, since Rose still has two years of his sentence left to serve. Perhaps public opinion of him would improve by the time he's released." Kabu finished the rest of his tea, sliding the cup across the table. "It was nice seeing you all, but I'm afraid I have to get back to my Gym duties. I assume Gloria must be busy as well."
"Oh! I guess, but I'm not rushing anywhere." Gloria hesitated. "See you next time though, Kabu." The Gym Leader nodded and left the café, the bell over the door jingling as he stepped out, leaving the three of them to just stare at each other.
Marnie cleared her throat. "I should get going too. Promised Piers I'd help him set up for rehearsal." She looked at her watch. "Hope you manage to sort through all those job applications, Gloria. And Raihan, you really should go to Hulbury and apologise." Marnie added pointedly, and he just huffed, folding his arms across his chest. Marnie shook her head, but there was a small smile on her face, and she waved to Gloria as she walked out.
Now it was just her and Raihan, and Gloria swallowed, feeling extremely conscious of the fact that they were alone. She glanced at him – Raihan was scrolling through his phone and she thought about the photo he had tagged her in. She suddenly wondered if he was on Rotogram. "Do you need to go somewhere too?" she asked, just to break the silence.
"Not really. It's my day off today." Raihan's gaze was still on his phone.
"Weren't you off yesterday?" Gloria frowned. He had been in the Wild Area, after all. And generally, being in the Wild Area did not constitute part of a Gym Leader's regular duties.
"I have two off days a week." Raihan put his phone down, looking at her with a little smirk on his face. She felt her stomach flip and wondered why her body was reacting so weirdly. It was just Raihan smiling at her. Raihan, the tamer of dragons and Galar's unquestioned king of Rotogram. She really had to stop overreacting to everything he did. "I know the other Gym Leaders usually take weekends off, but sometimes I like to work weekends, so instead I just take two days off whenever I want within the week."
"I see." Maybe she could do that. It sounded a lot more flexible than her current schedule – she took short breaks whenever she got too overwhelmed, but other than that being the champion was a full-time job. While she didn't hate all of it, sometimes she wished she had more time for herself. "What do you normally do on your days off?" she asked.
Raihan shrugged. "Whatever I feel like doing. Meet old friends. Camp in the Wild Area. Stay home and play video games. Anything, really." He looked curiously at her. "What do you do on your off days, miss champ?"
She hesitated. In truth, she couldn't remember the last time she was able to take a proper day off. Even the few hours she spent with Marnie today, or heading out to the Wild Area yesterday – she could do all these only because Leon was willing to step in for her. If he wasn't there, she would just have to stay in Wyndon, planning events, drafting speeches, meeting important people. What few precious hours she could carve out from her busy timetable was spent on the bare necessities – eating, bathing, sleeping, playing with her pokemon so that they wouldn't get lonely. Leon had been an absolute rock throughout these tumultuous months, but she knew she couldn't rely on his help forever.
Even now she recalled she had a speech to finish drafting and rehearsing for this weekend. The League staff had provided her with an initial draft, but she took one look at the talking points and she knew that she had to change them. What they gave her didn't sound like her at all, and there was no way she would remember the speech if she left it as it was.
"I…I can't remember." And it horrified her to say this, but she really couldn't. It had only been a few months since she became the champion, but already it was taking over her life. "I think before I became a trainer, I used to…I used to read. Then when I set off on the Gym Challenge, I spent a lot of time with my pokemon, getting to know them. And I like that, don't get me wrong, but ever since then my life has revolved around pokemon and being the champion and I can't even begin to imagine what else I could be doing."
She had no idea why she was telling all this to Raihan, of all people. Would he even understand? He was the strongest Gym Leader in the League. One of his main goals was to beat Leon, his rival, the former champion. He was someone who lived and breathed being a pokemon trainer – he wouldn't see any problem with the kind of life she led now, and she felt slightly guilty that she was even thinking of other hobbies and interests. As the champion, she was supposed to devote her life to pokemon. Wasn't she?
But he was looking at her with something almost akin to sympathy in his eyes and she swallowed, suddenly unable to meet his gaze. She didn't know why, but she felt shame and she hated how it made her chest tighten, her fists clench, her eyes sting. "It's really tough in the beginning. I know. We all went through that." She heard his voice and hesitantly, she looked back up – there was a smile on his face, a look so understanding that she could hardly believe it came from Raihan. "When you're a part of the League, people look up to you. There are expectations you have to live up to. But after a while, those expectations swallow you whole and you lose yourself trying to prove that you're capable. People want things from you, and they don't think about the fact that at the end of the day, the League – we're all humans too, and we're fallible. We aren't perfect."
Her breath hitched. "But I don't want to let people down. My dream is to take the League to brand new heights. Make sure the trainers of Galar are recognised as the best all over the world." She couldn't bring herself to look at him. "And I won't be able to do that if I spend any time at all on myself. It's a sacrifice, but eventually, it'll pay off, right?"
She wasn't sure. She knew she ought to be, but her words came out sounding more like a question, almost a plea. She desperately wanted someone to tell her what to do.
Raihan sighed. "That's not your dream." His voice was strangely quiet, and she looked up at him, surprised – he sounded almost tired. "That's Leon's dream. His goal was to ensure Galar became a force to be reckoned with. And while that is a noble cause," his teal gaze met hers, "what's your dream, Gloria? What do you want to do as the champion?"
Gloria didn't have an answer to his question. Her dream? Her goal? She never thought too much about it. After a very brief orientation, she had been thrust into her champion duties, into a world that was entirely different from what she was familiar with. She clung on to Leon's words like a lifeline – "We need to empower Galar's trainers! We need to prove to the rest of the world that our trainers, our region, is the best!" – and never once had she questioned why she was doing this, or if this dream was one that she herself wanted.
It sounded perfect, didn't it? It was a good goal, something worthy of the champion. Was she even allowed to detract from it, to wish for something different? Leon believed in both trainers and pokemon working and improving together while having a champion time. Could she believe in something else? Leon had been the champion for so long, his mantra never-changing – it felt almost blasphemous to be thinking about possible alternatives.
"Think about it." Raihan looked back at his phone. "And think about what you like to do. What's your identity, Gloria? Other than Gloria the new champion, Gloria the pokemon trainer? I know, a bit strange coming from me." He smiled. "But even I have a life. And it'd really be a damn shame if you burn yourself out before I can come to claim your title."
She rolled her eyes, his comment undoing all the tension that had been building up in her shoulders. "So, at the end of the day you just want to beat the champion," she teased, secretly feeling relieved. This banter was something she was more familiar with. His earlier words, his questions that had provoked deep-seated anxiety within her – she didn't want to think about that. "And here I was, thinking you were concerned for my well-being."
"Who said that I wasn't?" He looked her straight in the eye, and she froze, unable to turn away. His eyes were such an intense colour. "You might be someone I want to defeat in battle Gloria, but you're also a friend. And I can't in good conscience just watch you trudge through your day with no idea why you're doing what you're doing."
There was a moment of silence, and she fidgeted in her seat, wondering how she ought to respond to that. Laugh it off? Thank him? Promise to do better? It was like seeing a side to him that she'd never seen before, and she didn't know how to react. And he said she was a friend. Was she? They never really talked before this, just the usual obligatory small chat during League meetings. "Uh. Thanks?" she finally managed, mentally kicking herself for sounding like an idiot. He just grinned, flashing his canine, and her stomach dipped.
"I guess I shouldn't hold you back from work. You're probably busy. And I should go and see Nessa," he mumbled, and Gloria wondered about the flicker of worry she saw on his face, an emotion that passed so quickly that she would have missed it if she hadn't been looking at him. He glanced up and caught her staring. "What?"
"Nothing. Just curious about what's up between you and Nessa." She said this lightly, not wanting to sound like she was digging for information – he already mentioned that there was nothing to be concerned about, and it wasn't like Gloria was interested in gossip. As long as whatever was going on between Raihan and Nessa didn't affect the workings of the League, she was comfortable with not knowing. Well, mostly comfortable anyway.
Raihan slipped his phone into the pocket of his hoodie. "Ah. You really want to know?" He seemed to be considering, and Gloria blinked, surprised – she had expected him to shrug her question off immediately. "Maybe I'll give you a hint next time. Or maybe I won't. Who knows, right?" he laughed, getting up from his chair, and Gloria followed, frowning at him. His smile softened. "Nessa and I have known each other for a long time. Longer than I've known Leon, even. And once upon a time, I did something that even I'll admit was pretty stupid. Ever since then it just – it always feels like we're walking on eggshells around each other, and I don't really know how to deal with it." He shrugged. "But it's no biggie."
"Apologising didn't work?" she asked, falling into step beside him. She was intrigued now. Nessa was strong-headed and proud, but not arrogant, and she was always gracious and kind, especially to her trainers. She couldn't imagine Nessa not forgiving Raihan when he was willing to say sorry to her. Raihan looked a little uncomfortable.
"You know how sometimes you accept an apology because everyone expects you to, but deep down you feel like it's not enough?" he asked. Gloria nodded. "Well, it's something like that, I guess. And…" he sighed. "I really was stupid. I just don't like to think too much about that, so. Nessa wouldn't even have invited me to do the shoot with her if there was someone else available. But I can't help wanting to get on her nerves, she's so uptight."
"Right." She didn't particularly get why Raihan would want to purposely provoke someone, but she wouldn't comment on it. "Are you heading to Hulbury now?"
He nodded. "Yeah, I should suck it up and talk to her. Though I really don't like seeing her." He frowned. "She just reminds me of all the things I did wrong when I was a kid."
Gloria knew better than to ask. They parted ways in front of the pokemon centre and as she boarded her Flying Taxi back to Wyndon, she found herself turning Raihan's words over in her mind. What did she want to do as Galar's Champion? What goal did she have for the future? What identity did she want to claim besides that of a pokemon trainer?
She wasn't sure. But maybe it was about time she sat down to have a think about it.