Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing. It's just a harmless story.
Act I
Episode 3: Death at One's Door
The white Leo was a frame salvaged by Heero. It was kept hidden in an underground hangar not so far from the house. When Heero came across the mobile suit, it was abandoned and hopelessly crippled, missing a hand and its other arm, legs and body riddled by machinegun fire, but its cockpit hatch was left ajar and the chamber intact. Though it may have fallen in battle, it still somehow managed to carry its pilot to safety. It was a rare show of resilience and loyalty that struck a chord with the Perfect Soldier, and so he opted to give this pitiful Leo a second chance.
It was a quiet hobby that kept him busy at home, and it helped him make use of the skills he learned through his training in his youth. Heero meant to realize the full potential of this mobile suit. He labored on this ongoing project in the time between his contracts, investing most of his time and the small fortune he acquired from Quatre into this machine. Though Heero had no ill intentions, Quatre would certainly disapprove of him if he knew.
Heero's contradictions were never out of mind whenever he was working—perfecting a war machine after fighting so hard to end the wars. This was not an act of rejection upon the era of peace, Heero thought. Before, there was only fighting for him. Day after day. Past, present, and future. That was the life he led, and he thought without a doubt: that was all there would ever be. But the world changed so incredibly, and the wars that gave Heero Yuy purpose all ceased.
He needed time to settle into a different kind of existence, and for him it sometimes seemed to be an existence where death was no longer familiar and came to him all too slowly. Life was vague, and in truth he had not yet left the battlefield. His investments in this mobile suit were an urge much like his interest in warfare books, technology, games, and battle simulations. There was a need to continue to evolve—to become faster, more powerful, and exceed the competition. But there were no enemies left for Heero Yuy. He was still a soldier—one without a war or a cause, and consequently, a reason to exist.
Still, the Soldier lived on, even without purpose, and his war was one of his own creation—one within himself. Slowly, that battle crept outwards, from his heart, through his hands, and surrounded him again.
Its greatest presence was in the mobile weapon that consumed Heero's time and resources. The new frame of the Leo, which very well could have been considered a new mobile suit built from the ground up, was more or less complete, so all efforts went toward creating an operating system apt to handle the advanced mobile suit. Since most operating systems of the past were created out of necessity rather than opportunity, Heero wanted to program from scratch a combat computer that allowed the pilot and machine to operate as though they were extensions of each other-of one mind and one body. There are things a soldier cannot accomplish on his own. There is a level of elegance that machines could never achieve. What Heero wanted was to combine the strength of each and approach what one might call the perfect combination of man and machine.
It was a daunting goal to realize, even for a computer genius as capable as he. Instead, Heero opted to use an artificial intelligence to program the operating system while ZERO system was used to interface with the pilot and collect data. With ZERO system's mind-machine interface, he analyzed and created code directly with his thoughts. The method was incredibly faster and much more thorough than reading over code and typing by hand could ever be. Even though the finished product would not use ZERO system, a capable pilot using the new operating system would be able to push his mobile suit to a level of performance comparable to if he were using ZERO. The combat computer and the new frame working together was the key.
It was a grand scheme without precedent, and even Heero Yuy felt some enthusiasm for this astounding leap in mobile suit design. The first phase of his programming project would be to collect pilot synchronization and combat data, and to do that, he set up throughout the house several devices with which a ZERO system interface was possible. Interface units would be active at all hours to analyze the subject in as many aspects as possible. Complete synchronization could only be achieved with a total analysis of the subject.
There was even a level of convenience to this, because Heero also linked the house's security to the mind interface so that he could be alerted instantly of any situations. To record data on synchronization conditions, he ran simulations often, using a computer console he modified into an outright military grade simulator. Results have been pleasing by far.
When Jen Aoki came to the house, however, Heero had to rethink his operation in consideration for her safety. After all, he knew first hand what ZERO system could do to a person's mind. However, the affects of the system on someone outside of battle were still unclear. Jen was made aware of the devices throughout the house, and the artificial intelligence was reprogrammed to never interface with anyone other than Heero. She gave her enigmatic host the space he seemed to require, and so the two kept their distance from one another. In this way the project progressed without any drawbacks, but as time wore on, Jen became more and more interested in his work. As the two became closer, Jen joined Heero's project as his apprentice. Assisting him in running combat simulations was one of her favorite pastimes.
The moral implications of involving her in his personal struggles with war and violence troubled Heero greatly. The rest of the world was pacifying and ridding itself of weapons, but the two of them were moving backwards. Jen, however, viewed it more like an engineering project and a chance to learn useful skills. It was very true: mobile suit engineers often had fulfilling and successful careers. Even with current policy halting the production of combat enabled mobile suits, nearly all the mechanics and developers were flexible enough to move onto other kinds of work. Industrial and labor type mobile suits were in full swing, especially with colonies now recovering from old damage and expanding. Such opportunities did not come to Jen in her old life. Heero knew her goals were innocent enough, and it was what she really wanted, so all he could do was guide her along the way and hope she would never make the same mistakes that he did.
Jen ran combat simulations with herself as the pilot so she could understand what she was working with, but the system was programmed to not record her combat data. Heero figured such numbers would be completely invalid coming from someone as green as she was in comparison to the sort of data already taken on himself, and so most of the help Jen provided was in overviewing the software and tweaking it where need be. Fascinated with their work, she would constantly be discussing what to try next, adding this or that to the program, or fine-tuning something to find the most efficiency. Whenever Heero worked directly with the Leo, Jen could often be found sitting on the cockpit platform with wires and screens pulled out, reading over system code. They were happy working together. Unfortunately, this all would not play out the way Heero had thought.
By now, enough data had been collected so that trial versions of the combat computer could be written and tested in simulations. Heero had compiled the data into a mock combat computer to see how well it performed when programmed with his own battle data. Though a disparity existed between the mock system and the actual perfect soldier, results were promising. And the rough program with Heero's data was more than a match for Jen. To test its worth, she set out to overcome it herself, but hours went by and Jen still lost, impressed by their work but still motivated to win. She had been fighting with it using the simulation setup in the living room, and Heero dropped in from time to time to check on her progress. It was no walk in the park either. She would hold her breath, gnash her teeth, perspire, and work the controls so forcefully they might even slip from her fingers. Jen was pushing herself very hard.
Heero stopped and peered in over her shoulder as a particularly intense clash unfolded. An entire minute and a half had passed, both she and the mock Heero Yuy had expended all munitions, but neither one had taken serious damage. It was a truly grueling battle, to go on more than a minute in a skirmish where either of them could slip only once and be down in flames the next moment. The two charged each other with their laser blades—slashing, evading a swipe, and counterattacking—and in a fight such as this, all three of these actions could occur in the span of a single second. Heero was impressed. It took a lot of work and experience to hit this kind of groove in combat. He was beginning to wonder how Jen would fare in an actual mobile suit, but he quickly shook his head and dismissed the terrible thought. She wasn't in this so she could be going off to fight.
The game suddenly changed when Jen ended the exchange of blade attacks and retreated to the other side of the battlefield, standing with her back to her opponent. Like the real Heero Yuy, her opponent charged after her relentlessly with no hesitation, but she still did not turn to face him. Tearing through the air at full speed, the mock opponent's deadly blade lashed out for her, but in the blink of an eye, Jen's combat frame shot out of the way abruptly and then back to the same position the next instant, dodging the attack in that moment and then setting herself up for a counter. Her blade lashed out and tore through her attacker's back in a violent searing flash. That certainly made Heero blink.
"Not bad," Heero approved, thoroughly surprised. Not bad at all. The match went on, and he thought nothing more of the last move. But soon enough, Jen landed another hit, then another and another; she was beginning to outdo the mock system. How could she have improved this much in a matter of only hours? The system suddenly screwing up wasn't likely, either. It simply wasn't natural. Heero looked over to Jen, seeing that she was in a cold sweat and completely absorbed into the screen. There was something familiar in her eyes and he knew instantly what it was.
A jolt of horror shot through him like electricity and Heero leapt across the way and smashed the ZERO interface device in the room. With the system out of commission, he took Jen by the shoulders, kneeling down next to her, and shook her out of her trance.
"Jen. Jen! Are you alright?" She blinked and took her spinning head into her hand.
"Yeah. I'm okay," she said at length. "I'm so sorry." What was she apologizing for? Not exactly catching on to what she meant, Heero looked back at the destroyed machine behind them.
"Damn it," he hissed, cursing himself for being so thoughtless. "I should have put all this to a halt the second you came here. Stupid..."
To his surprise, Jen protested, "No, don't do that. Your work is so important! This only happened because of me."
Heero let go of her shoulders and gave her a hard look, knowing what was coming could not be good. "You need to start explaining yourself."
She looked grim, and at first no words came when her lips parted. "I know I'm not supposed to be able to use ZERO system. I started noticing it a while back. I'm not sure why, but suddenly I was able to interface with the system, so I've been using it."
Jen didn't know what to think. Her mind was racing. Should she really have kept such a secret? It was exactly what Heero feared most could happen, and Jen let it go on for this long. She felt very small and fearful of what may happen. Heero was a man who once carried orders to kill if someone simply did as much as learn his name, and now she had gone and tampered with one of his secrets. She could only think of the soldiers that, too, had opposed him and were destroyed by him. Still, there was the lost of trust Jen feared even more.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Heero's gaze was locked dead onto hers, and it made her weak in the knees. There was a definite anger behind the granite look in his eyes, but it didn't feel harmful or threatening. Jen could not sense that it was directed at her.
She had to intentionally make herself inhale before she could manage another word. "You've told me many times how dangerous the ZERO system was, but really, I thought that if I used it I could get better, like you. I thought that if I learned how to use it well enough you'd be okay with it. I know I should have listened. I'm sorry," she pleaded remorsefully. "Please, I'll do anything to make things right." Jen was so apprehensive of Heero's coming response that she felt she could pass out.
Nothing was said. Heero took his gaze from her and his hands fell to his sides. Jen couldn't tell what he was thinking and was left in suspense. He would not even look up at her. Heero felt distant, and it terrified her more than anything else could have. She was expecting hell, but he didn't express one ounce of anger towards her. He stood up, leaving her there, and left upstairs for his laptop.
It was completely dark in the room. The dim light of the screen cast a ghastly glow over his surroundings. Heero had been looking over code for three days, a page or so scrolling by in a single second, and he had not even stopped for food or water. Jen had been sitting outside his door ever since, but she was too afraid to knock. She just couldn't bring herself to do it and maybe interrupt whatever he may be thinking. The dissonance was too great. Jen felt she had made a grave mistake, but there was not the slightest stir of protest from Heero. Surely she must have deserved at least something from him. He kept it all to himself this time. It was impossible to reach someone who could shut himself away so perfectly.
Jen certainly put herself in danger by using the system without Heero's knowledge, and she knew that must have caused him to worry considerably. But because Heero did not express any of it, she was sure it was wreaking havoc inside of him. His trust and confidence in her was shaken, and she didn't know what could be done to undo the harm. And what's worse, Jen couldn't imagine what it was like for Heero having someone deceive him. She was one of the few people in which he had ever come to have such confidence.
The system was locked on safety mode, which meant it could only activate upon some kind of breach in security. Heero didn't know if he would ever start up the program again. Artificial intelligence that overrides commands is no small problem. It didn't take long for him to find the hidden data the system had collected on Jen, and what he uncovered was quite unusual. In a remarkable turn of events, it seemed to be that the data collected on himself was determined too consistent by the artificial intelligence, so it decided to observe other subjects to attain more variables. That was the only reason. It was only because he was too perfect as a soldier that she became directly involved.
He discovered this in the first few hours of his search and, upon finding Jen's combat data, moved to delete it. But something stopped him. He hadn't given it any thought before, but these readings weren't exactly normal, and a feeling inside of him wrested his hands incapable of scrapping his findings. It was not something he wanted to be true, but the facts were there, sitting right in front of him. She had the talent of an ace, but it was something unneeded in the era they had come to live in. There were no battles left, and this part of her should remain untouched. For the last few days Heero had been in isolation he was debating with himself if he should delete the data. He fought with himself again and again over how he could allow such an immense screw-up. It was a violation of the ideals he held most important. Whether he realized it or not, Jen Aoki had earned from him the legacy of a Gundam pilot.
Heero felt a sudden spat of guilt that cut him deep, and he was so ashamed that all he could do was laugh, his lips twisted with pain and absurdity. Here was Heero Yuy, a man trying to shed his life as a soldier, and yet, he was so obsessed that he had tainted an innocent girl with the flames of battle. He did not know if he could ever forgive himself for such heavy sins. His head hung low as his remorse became a terrifying sinking feeling and his chest tightened with an unfathomable restlessness. He just wanted to die.
A sudden sense of alarm floated into his mind. It was ZERO's security detail. Heero quickly forgot himself and switched over the function on his laptop to get a visual. No more time for such self-absorbed thoughts. He double checked to see where Jen was. She had gone to her room again. More importantly there was someone walking the trail towards the house. For a time, Heero watched the figure intently, considering what could be done to receive this sudden guest, and before long, with a wave of his hand, signaled for a security drone to move.
Duo strolled up to the door and rang the bell. He was quite disappointed and scratched his head in frustration. He had worked up a lot of energy coming here and all in vain. During the entire trek along the trail he was half-expecting some land mines to detonate or at least some gun turrets to appear and shoot him to pieces. Duo was beginning to think he had the wrong house. What was taking so long to answer the door, anyhow? Duo's foot tapped in nervousness. Was he finally going to find one of his old buddies again? Distracted by his thoughts, he never noticed what sounded like the chirrup of helicopter blades coming up behind him.
On the other side of the door, Heero waited patiently as he heard his guest scream in holy terror. He was caught completely off guard, the surprise of it scaring him fully out of his wits. The silhouette Duo cast on the window curtains showed him flailing about as he frantically tried to fight off the drone. It was another half a minute before Heero decided that was enough and the drone withdrew as the door was opened. Heero's gaze passed over Duo whose mane was completely frazzled in the struggle. He looked like he was about to cry.
Duo blubbered, "It was all in my hair…!"
There was a dull clunk as Heero set a mug of hot tea in front of his guest and went to sit across from him at the stone table.
"Thanks!" Duo chirped. He was in absolute glee. Heero is serving me tea in his garden. This is SO cool! Duo took his mug carefully and sipped at his beverage. It had an exotic taste and a pleasant burning heat as it washed over his tongue. He breathed in deep as he looked about himself curiously. It was one of the most impressive gardens he had ever visited. Spring was in season and everything was splashed with tones of light and color. The pond and plant life in the garden glowed radiantly, resonating with the blessing of nature's embrace. The land was astonishingly beautiful, and with the image of the garden reflecting off the surface of the water, its splendor was amplified a million times over.
The structure at the center of the pond caught Duo's eye. "What's that over there?"
"A shrine for a god of war and a goddess of mercy." Heero looked up to see a large smile on Duo's face.
"You've found religion, Heero?" He seemed genuinely delighted asking this, big-eyed and smiling wonderfully.
"Not exactly that. It's more of something to think about," Heero stated coolly.
Duo's smile was gone, but he rolled with what was just said, shrugging. "Ah, I get what you mean." He searched for something else to say, visibly knitting his brows as he concentrated, and his eyes lit up again once he collected his thoughts. "This place is really amazing. I'm surprised a guy like you is capable of cultivating a garden like this. It's almost poetic."
Heero waited wordlessly for Duo to explain what he meant. "Like those blue flowers over there, and how the water has a reflection of their color? It's almost unthinkable that you were the one that did that."
"You mean the irises? Jen planted those. I've never had as good of an eye as her."
Duo had to stop to register what Heero said. His comment had been so nonchalant that Duo felt he completely missed something. He opened his mouth to ask for an explanation, but something in the corner of his eye caught his attention first. They both turned as Jen emerged from the sliding door of the house. She was cradling a cardboard box in her arms, and was surprised to see that she and Heero had a guest. She had been too preoccupied earlier to notice the door bell. Jen approached them and set down the item so she could greet the guest properly.
"You must be Duo," she said with a pleasant and casual smile, shaking his hand firmly.
"Oh, you've heard about me?" Duo inquired, remembering his buddy's antisocial mannerisms.
"Of course! You just have to know how to ask him the right questions." Heero looked away as the other two glanced at him. "I'm glad you came here. I really like your braid! It's very cool."
"I know! Braids are the coolest. You should try it some time. It's nice to meet you, Jen. I really like your…er…your box?" Duo fumbled. He let out a flustered sigh and tried his best to recover. "What's in there, anyway?"
Jen laughed a bit. "Oh, this? Well…" She turned over to Heero, taking on a serious expression. Duo sensed how Jen's mood changed drastically. She seemed touched with a deep sadness. Did something happen between them just before? "Heero, I finished the cockpit simulation program. The boards are in here. If you install them you can run tests directly in the Leo. I'll leave this here for you."
Heero knew exactly what she meant. It was something she could not bear to speak directly, and so she said it in this figurative act. This was the software for second phase of his project, when enough of the combat computer was finished to test it in a mobile suit. Once a simulation could be run in the cockpit, Heero wouldn't need to do synchronization testing with the household array anymore, and he could complete the project with no more need to involve her. With this gesture, Jen was telling Heero that she would leave him if he wanted.
But what Heero felt was that he had no say over what anyone did. What right does a fool have to decide? He may have fought and won peace for the world, but that peace belonged to the people, and they could do whatever they wished with it. Jen was free to do whatever made her happy, even if that was choosing to stay with a person like himself who could not exist naturally in a time without war. It was never his choice to begin with. How unworthy he was. He looked upon her with a strange mix of affection and pity. Why did she end up choosing a wretch like him? Jen waited anxiously for what he'd say, unable to look up to meet his gaze.
"Jen, why don't you take this and install it yourself? I would be a mess without you here to lend a hand. Duo and I will catch up and see if we can help once we're done here."
She blinked, taken aback by what he said. It had been said so curtly, so coolly, but she understood what he meant. He recognized her skills and wanted her to stay with him and continue using those skills to their benefit their work. He very well wanted her to simply stay with him. What it meant about her using the system she didn't know, but it didn't matter at that moment. Being with Heero was enough. Suddenly all was right again. At length, Jen nodded, smiling tearfully. Duo was shocked to see her crying, having no idea as to what had just transpired, but he was glad that at least to see her smile return.
"I'll go on ahead then. See you in a bit, Duo." She blinked her tears away and bowed curtly before the two of them, giving Heero a light peck before she disappeared with the box of circuit boards. Heero wished she wouldn't have done that in front of the guest.
Duo and Heero remained standing, still no words transpiring between them, their eyes still fixed where they lost sight of Jen.
A grin came over Duo again. "Well, well! My Heero's all grown up." Heero gave him a questionable look, fearing what would come next. Duo went on, "Man, you've got a beautiful girl living with you and you've even got her making mobile suits and programming systems for you. You must be some kind of genius! How did you do that?"
Heero was reluctant to respond to a potentially disastrous question but answered flatly. "I blew up her house—I mean—I blew up her garage. The rest caught fire." Duo was taken aback, no words coming to him, and he stood mouth agape for an awkward moment. Heero could only return his blank stare.
"My god, that's brilliant! Why didn't I ever think of that? That has got to be the fastest and least expensive way to get a girl to move in with you." Duo scratched his head. "It really is the quiet guy that ends up doing things in the flashiest way." And with that, he could not keep himself from succumbing to fits of laughter.
Heero could have fallen over from embarrassment, but merely waited for his guest to recover from his loss of self-control.
Duo managed to compose himself but was still somewhat tickled. He sat down again at the stone table, Heero following suit. "But seriously, I've been meaning to ask about that mobile suit you're rebuilding—"
"—it's Leo-G, or Grand Leo," Heero asserted.
"Right," Duo affirmed in all seriousness. "I know it's not my place to be asking, but I wanted to know why you're keeping a mobile suit and have all this work going on here. I thought we were all supposed to be done with this kind of stuff?" The conversation suddenly took a grave turn.
"I can't be sure," Heero started. "You work with scrapped mobile weapons, Duo. You don't keep so far from it yourself. Everything has changed so quickly, but a lot of us are stuck in the past. For me, this mobile suit is a reminder for how things used to be. It's not so easy to let go so suddenly."
Seeing the parallels in his own situation, Duo felt he could sympathize, but there was one thing he could not let go. "That may be it, but you…your Leo-G is not simply a reminder, is it?" Duo's eyes narrowed at him. "You're working to make it stronger, like if there was still fighting going on. What's keeping you from putting down your weapons?"
Duo's words struck him well, and Heero recoiled. "I'm not doing this to hurt anyone. This Leo won't ever see combat. It's not equipped with weapons I can use to wage war. No one will be harmed." Duo took a moment to hear this correctly, but Heero knew his words were fruitless. Any vessel capable of wearing weapons could be turned into an implement of massacre at the drop of a dime. It mattered not that his Leo was not dressed for battle, because therein still laid the potential to destroy. Only with an unrelenting faith in mankind could such a machine remain unstained by blood.
He got a hard look from Duo that did not pass for a long time until he let up and his usual demeanor slowly returned. "All right then, Heero. I trust you. Although, I don't know what Miss Peacecraft—or is it Darlian now—would have to say if she knew about you, even with the soft spot she seems to have for us Gundam pilots. She is having enough trouble these days handling her terraformation project."
Heero remained in a thoughtful silence, waiting for his guest to bring up what he had been expecting to hear the entire time. Duo's mouth was set in a hard line. "Her work isn't running as smoothly as it should be. There have been…complications and accidents having to deal with Mars." And then Duo added grimly, "we may not be able to continue keeping gardens and drinking tea." Heero nodded in solemn agreement.
"Maybe you were right to be doing what you are…," Duo lamented.
A thought from deep inside boiled over and screamed in Heero's mind, No, it's unforgivable.
Moments passed in silence as the two sat together, and slowly they lost their grip on their present. They were swept away into darkness, and the feeling was claustrophobic and dizzying. Their minds once again teetered on the brink of destruction with the thought of having to return to battle. There were flames and screams and brightly glowing eyes that promised death. …I've been fighting longer than anyone else... Perhaps a dismal future better suits the God of Death...
The heat of the vision was stifling them when suddenly, a cool and sweet-scented breeze washed over them, and they were reminded of where they actually were. They both looked up to see the world that surrounded them—the scent of fresh water and blossoms carried on the wind, brilliantly colored plants growing strongly every which way, as far as the eye could see. It very well could have been the last moment of peace they would ever have, and they sat in stillness to do their best to take in what precious tranquility they were fortunate enough to experience. What precious tranquility was left….
"Anyway," Duo broke the silence, many moments later, in a reluctant, jovial tone, "you're way too depressing to talk to! We should go check to see how Jen is doing now, yeah?" Heero slowly agreed, showing him the way to go, and they got up to leave. The two made small talk as they traversed slowly through the garden to their destination, feeling the wind sweep over them and the springy grass giving way underneath their feet.
"So what was the explosive you used?"
"Propane."
"Ah…," Duo sighed thoughtfully.
By Seraphic
I know what you're thinking, but please do not try it for yourself. Explosions are dangerous. It won't happen the way you expect it anyway.