Howdy! I haven't written on here in what feels like ages. I got so much support on roasted and it made me so happy, but I found myself way too busy for writing. I started high school and got swept up in work, to the point where I kind of forgot about my stories. I decided to throw my hat into the ring again after listening to Hawkmoth's rap, which is a masterpiece and to be loved by all. I've decided to keep writing crack though, because I find it stupid and funny.
Hawkmoth's True Identity
It is an exceedingly normal day in Paris. Flowers are blooming, birds are chirping, and a giant evil plant monster is destroying the Eiffel Tower. Ah, the quiet sounds of morning. Often, on days like this, Gabriel Agreste enjoys sipping a nice cup of tea while puppeteering a large evil monster. Gabriel is feeling great today, really on a roll after being defeated by children in a longer battle than normal, so he decides to make it a two Akuma day, to really treat himself. He notices that there are exceptionally negative emotions coming from the local High School, Francoise Dupoint. Another fine victim. But how could Gabriel possibly relate to the kids? Why, the same way any other father would.
"What is popping, Homeslice?" Asks Hawkmoth in a very hip and chill tone of voice. "Yo, I need you to keep it fresh with me, Homie G. I see that you're having a not-so-groovy day, so why not get revenge on all those punks who wronged you and set the record straight?" The akuma victim, a teenaged boy in his freshman year, who was not born in the '80s, understands none of what Hawkmoth said. Interpreting the silence as a no, Hawkmoth continues barraging the child with 'sick nasty' vocabulary.
The fearful boy deploys an awkwardness-diffusing technique, doing the floss ironically. "I'm not vibing with you hawkmoth, I just wanted me and the boys to go on a raid mission for beans. I know that if I say yes to this dangerous deal, it will be an F in chat for my free will, so no thank you Hawk Brother, this is not very cash money of you." Gabriel has a partial aneurysm trying to comprehend the language of today's youths, and decides to Akumatise someone he can understand.
- some time later -
"Give it up Hawkmoth! You know you can't win, so why continue this pattern of failure?" Two strangely clad teenagers yell at a man possesed by a butterfly. Gabriel chooses this exact moment to flex his new vernacular. "What, am I not lit enough for the kids? That's an oof fam. Y'all should respect your elders." The teenagers reply with an 'Ok Boomer' so loud it rattles windowpanes withing a three mile radius and causes even Hawkmoth to regret his life decisions.
I'm still very rusty after not practicing my writing as much. I've had this idea stuck in my head for a while and I'm glad that I got it out. This might be my last work on here, it might not, but to be honest I enjoyed writing on here agin.