Greater than the sum of its parts

Summary: Dirk is suffering PTSD from his time in Blackwing, the recent visit recalling the unresolved trauma from his childhood. His friends are there to support him. Protective!Todd, Protective!Farah, friendship hurt/comfort. CinnamonRoll!Dirk. Follows on from S2.

Note: I've sort of ignored Mona because, much as I like her as a character, I feel she's a bit of a deus ex machina.

CHAPTER ONE - The Noise of the Universe

Chapter Summary: How can Dirk relax knowing that Blackwing are still out there?

"I'm so glad that case is over." Todd said, tiredly. After getting no response he prompted "Dirk?"

"Hmm?" Dirk said distractedly

"Come on man, you must be tired, and your leg is still healing. Why don't you take the bed tonight and I'll sleep on the sofa."

"No, Todd. Thank you but the sofa is perfectly comfortable."

Something in the way he said it made Todd not want to argue back so he just nodded.

"Are you ok?"

Dirk looked lost and scared and alone for half a second but then gave him the ghost of a smile. "Probably not. I expect I need a good night's sleep."

"Ok. See you tomorrow." Todd retreated to the bedroom and closed the door.

He stood there for a moment. He was so, so tired, but there was a nagging voice that told him that even by Dirk's standards there had been something 'off' about the last conversation. Not exactly lying, but some...strategic non-truthing going on perhaps.

He opened the door just in time to see Dirk close the front door behind him.

He ran across the room and opened the door "Wait, Dirk, where are you going?"

"Nowhere." Dirk said, standing against the wall of the corridor. "I just wanted to stand out here for a bit."

"Don't lie to me Dirk." Todd said, stress and exhaustion had worn his patience thin. "You were leaving weren't you?"

Dirk stared at him for a moment and then said "That's not very good detecting, Todd. If I were leaving, I wouldn't have left behind my possessions."

"You don't have any possessions, you're like... the least materialistic person I know."

"Actually, Todd, I have a t-shirt and a cone. And I would not have left them behind if I were planning to leave."

Todd paused. He believed Dirk, and felt a strange desire to buy him a proper gift that wasn't an old band t-shirt or a random cone, but it still didn't answer the question of what he was really up to. Dirk continued

"Besides, I wouldn't have just left without saying goodbye. You might have thought I'd been abducted again."

That is exactly what Todd would have thought, and why he was so on edge right now, he realised. A couple of months ago he'd turned his back for 5 minutes and his best friend had disappeared. Having only just got him back, he wasn't about to let him disappear again.

"Then what are you doing out here?"

"I just wanted to sit out here for a bit." Dirk said with unconvincing nonchalance.

"Tell me." Todd said sternly.

Dirk sighed. "Just in case... you know. Blackwing show up."

Todd glanced to the door at the end of the corridor and then back at Dirk.

"So what, if they show up you're just going to... let them take you? After Farah and I spent 2 months on the run trying to get you out of there?"

"I wouldn't let them take me Todd, I wouldn't have any choice. Any more than last time. Do you think I want to go back there?"

"I don't know - you're literally standing outside waiting for them."

Todd felt it had been the wrong thing to say at the expression of shock on his friend's face.

"Well I don't." he said shakily, "I ... I hate that place, it scares me more than you can possibly imagine. But I won't let them kill you, or take you along as leverage just to get at me. So I'll just wait out here and hope they don't come but if they do, they'll only get me."

Todd felt all the self-righteous indignation drain out of him. He was being selfish again: thinking of his own need to protect Dirk and ignoring the fact that his friend was utterly terrified that Blackwing would come for him, unable to sleep for thinking about it. The only thing he was more afraid of was Todd getting hurt because of him, so as usual he was trying to be brave when all he really wanted was to huddle under a duvet in a corner somewhere and hide.

"Do you really think they're coming for you?" Todd asked, wondering if they would ever be free or would have to go on the run for the rest of their lives.

"I wish I knew. I have no idea what they're up to, what they're planning, but I do know that this Ken person is far more dangerous than Riggins ever was."

Todd thought for a moment.

"You stayed out of there for 16 years and the only reason they caught you again was really because the Universe needed you to solve a case there. Maybe the Universe won't let them take you back. It needs you out here to fix things doesn't it?"

"I wish I could believe that Todd, but the Universe left me in there for 10 years in the first place. I don't think it cares about me very much."

"It doesn't have to care about you as such, just need you elsewhere. Remember that day at the cafe when they took you? You got a hunch right? You left the cafe."

"I felt a strong desire to walk down that alleyway."

"On your own."

Dirk nodded.

"The Universe left me and Farah so that we could escape, because it needed us to help you later on. It's like it planned the whole thing."

"Maybe. I still don't know how the Universe could really stop them though, if they wanted to capture me."

"We'll talk to Farah tomorrow and find out what her back up plans are if anything goes wrong. I know she's thought about it already. But right now you need to sleep. If you wait out here, I'll just have to wait out here with you, so you might as well come back inside."

Todd didn't know what the Universe had planned for them, but he did know he would do anything to prevent Blackwing abducting his best friend again.

They went back inside.

"The only thing that made me happy while I was in Blackwing was knowing that you and Farah weren't stuck in there too. That you were out there living your normal lives."

"We were not sitting around having coffee you know, we were on the run for months looking for you."

"Yes, so that I could help you find Amanda, I know that now, but at the time I thought you were safe."

Todd was taken aback. "You really think we were only looking for you so we could find Amanda?"

Dirk shook his head in confusion. "Why else?"

"Are you serious right now? Dirk, we were looking for YOU. If Mona hadn't broken you out of there we would have. I mean sure I was worried about my sister as well, but we wouldn't have just left you there and gone on with our normal lives like nothing had happened. Is that really what you thought we'd do?"

Dirk shifted uncomfortably. "Yes?" he answered, aware it was the wrong answer but the truthful one.

Todd once more paused to consider things from Dirk's point of view instead of his own. He sat on a stool at the kitchen counter, and Dirk sat opposite him.

"You know when I said you deserved to be alone? That isn't true you know"

"We both said things we didn't mean back then-"

"Yeah I know but, but what you said to me was...well, it was harsh, but it was true. What I said to you... it wasn't, it isn't. You deserve better than to be left alone all your life thinking that no one cares enough to look for you."

"Thank you Todd. That means a lot to me."

Todd felt a sudden resolve form, taking the place of the sadness and anger he felt.

"We're going to do it you know."

"Do what?"

"We're going to set up Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency right here in Seattle. We'll have our own office, and-

"And a sign?"

"A really big sign over the reception area-"

"We'll have a reception area." Dirk echoed, eyes lighting up with excitement at the thought.

"And we're going to live our lives how we want to. They don't get to win this. They've taken enough of your life and now, now it's our turn."

Dirk looked at him with that look of admiration that made Todd feel like he was someone unusually awesome. He had to remind himself that the bar had just been set extremely low in Dirk's life to date, or it would go to his head.

"You're absolutely right. It's bad enough being pushed around by the universe, I'm not going to let them push me around as well."

Todd got up wearily. "Promise you'll go to sleep?"

"I'll certainly try." Dirk said as he got up with the help of the crutches. Todd gave him a gentle hug, feeling Dirk tense instinctively before hugging him back a second later. He wondered how long it would be before Dirk felt comfortable with people touching him.

Todd went back to his bedroom but left the door conspicuously open this time, so he could keep an eye on Dirk.

Despite his words and his tiredness, it took him a long time to get to sleep, as he tried to make sense of the craziness that was now his life.