CHAPTER THREE - Plans

"What's next? Oh - I should go and look for an apartment." Dirk said with his usual energy, despite the night before and even though he was still on crutches.

"You don't have to do that, you're welcome to stay here." Todd said, hoping Dirk would just agree to the proposal and that would be that.

"I hardly think that's fair on you Todd. Especially while I'm still a target with Blackwing."

"Actually, that's kind of why I want you to stay." Todd admitted. "Last time you went out for a walk and then didn't come back... I don't like the idea of you staying on your own where I can't keep an eye on you and make sure you're still... here."

Dirk looked extremely touched by the words.

"Plus, this way you'll be here if I have a pararibulitis attack." Todd added, suspecting that this would have more weight with the detective.

"Thank you Todd. Although I do feel it only fair to warn you that I don't know how to do anything of any use whatsoever."

"I know Dirk, I've met you." Todd teased.

"No I mean, you really have no idea how phenomenally useless I am at everything except for finding people who want to shoot at me."

"Well... I can teach you."

"Really?" Dirk asked, brightening. "If I'm going to stay here I should at least make myself useful. What do you want me to do?" Dirk said expectantly, far more psyched for doing household chores than Todd had ever been in his life.

"Oh, uh, you could... do the laundry?" He said, trying to think of the most innocuous task that currently needed doing. It also didn't require all that much walking about.

"Right. I definitely know how to do that..." Dirk said, looking around doubtfully as though for inspiration.

"You must have done laundry before Dirk, what do you do when your clothes get dirty?"

"I get new ones." Dirk said and Todd stared at him in shock, but knowing how he treated cars and phones and apartments and just about everything else, he wasn't sure why it should surprise him. "Or new clothes sort of appear at convenient times." Dirk looked at him as if to say I did warn you...

"Ok, well, let me show you."

Todd explained the process and Dirk followed the instructions to the letter. It definitely took more time than it would have taken for Todd to just do it himself, but he didn't begrudge the time spent. When the washing machine started its 50 minute cycle, Dirk stood in front of it.

"Thank you Todd, I will keep an eye on it and make sure nothing weird happens."

"You really don't have to stand there and watch it. Anyway if you don't want anything weird to happen to it you should probably get as far away from it as possible." Todd said with a smile.

"Fair." Dirk conceded.

"Do you know how to cook anything?"

"Umm... does making a sandwich count?"

"No."

"Then no."

Todd bit back a sigh and reminded himself that Dirk had different abilities. After all, the way food materialised at the right time and place when they were on a case was a far more useful skill than his own ability to make macaroni cheese. He decided to start with pizza and work from there.

Dirk was excitedly explaining some of his ideas to Todd on the future of the Agency, when Farah buzzed up from the ground floor. Todd knew it was Farah because they'd been expecting her, but Dirk stopped abruptly and flinched.

"What's wrong?" Todd asked him, hoping it wasn't a hunch or a new case. They really needed time to recover from the last two.

"Nothing. Sorry." Dirk said looking a little embarrassed, and shook it off. "That must be Farah!" he said, obviously pleased at getting her involvement in planning the next steps for Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency.

"Hey guys. Oh, did you tidy up?" she said, looking around.

It turned out that Dirk was not entirely correct in his assessment of his own abilities. When it came to tidying up, he was somehow able to put everything in exactly the right place without being told what that place was. Because this was the only thing he was really good at, the apartment had never been tidier, but it wasn't all that difficult since Todd hadn't been left with much after the Rowdies had broken everything.

"Yes." Dirk said, very pleased that she had noticed.

Farah had brought along some potential candidates for their new agency office, kindly bankrolling the whole thing.

"Farah, get this, we're going to have a reception area."

Todd couldn't remember ever seeing Dirk so happy as they talked about their plans, and it noticeably rubbed off on Farah.

As he got up to make them a round of drinks, he couldn't help but wonder if this was a kind of reward from the universe to Dirk, for having to go back to Blackwing. An apology perhaps? He knew it didn't really make sense, but ever since he'd met Dirk he thought more and more about the interconnectedness of all things. Dirk was right when he said that the Universe didn't exactly care about him, but perhaps it knew there was only so much he could take before he reached a breaking point.

He shrugged off the thought and sat back down with them, feeling pretty content himself.