Lainey puts off breaking up with Barry.
~.~
She walks down the hall to his classroom the next morning, nervously wringing her hands together. She's excited yet anxious to see him again. Excited because well, she's in love with him and hasn't seen him since yesterday afternoon. Anxious because she still hasn't talked to Barry about what happened between her and CB. She hopes CB won't be disappointed in her for not going through with it - at least, she hasn't gone through with it yet.
After marching band practice, she headed straight home with every intention of calling Barry. She ended up pacing back and forth in her apartment, staring at her phone with a sickening feeling in the pit of her stomach. Every time she picked up the phone, she would think of any excuse not to dial his number. Just the thought of telling Barry she was in love with someone else made her heart ache. She finally decided to go to bed, but found herself unable to sleep, her mind racing with the notion of losing her first love.
She knows in her heart she'll eventually have to break up with him if she wants to be with CB. But in doing so, she'll have to say goodbye to all those memories they've shared over the years. And it hurts. Deeply. It's almost as if she's losing a piece of herself in the process. In many ways, though, she is - a part of her past that's so difficult to let go.
She crosses the threshold to CB's classroom, but finds it remarkably empty.
That's weird, she wonders. He's usually here early.
She figures he must be running late and decides to head on over to her room to prepare for her first period class. She's not quite in the right headspace this morning, but figures some quiet time before class starts might be cathartic for a change.
She enters her classroom and stops dead in her tracks. On her desk, she spies a single red rose resting atop the yellow and silver Swony boombox she bought him after his apartment burned down last fall.
She smiles, biting her lip, and saunters closer to her desk. She picks up the rose and brings it to her nostrils, deeply inhaling its scent. She closes her eyes, and all her anxiousness readily slips away.
Glancing down, she notices a yellow Post-It note stuck to the top of the boombox. The words "PRESS PLAY" are printed across the note with a small heart drawn underneath them in the center. The grin widens across her face as she reaches down to press the button, wondering what other surprise he has in store for her.
The soft pop song begins, and she feels the presence of someone now standing in the doorway. She rolls her eyes, knowing immediately that it's him, and he's about to do something incredibly cheesy. She just hopes she doesn't die of embarrassment.
She reluctantly turns around to see him leaning with his hand against the doorframe wearing his usual oxford shirt with tie and khakis, but he has a rather seductive expression on his face.
"Good morning, Miss Lewis," he greets her, wiggling his eyebrows.
She can't help but giggle; he's trying to be serious, but she knows him all too well.
He steps into the room and closes the door behind him. He dramatically spins around and begins lip syncing the lyrics of the song, emphasizing each word by gesturing with his hands like a member of a boy band.
"I'll be your dream, I'll be your wish, I'll be your fantasy..."
He drops onto his knees in front of her and grabs both of her hands.
"I'll be your hope, I'll be your love, be everything that you need. I love you more with every breath, truly madly deeply do."
"CB…" She looks away shyly, feeling her cheeks flush with warmth. He's so adorable, and she knows she doesn't deserve him.
He stands up, but doesn't let go of her hands.
"Dance with me," he says sweetly, looking into her eyes.
She bites her lower lip hesitantly.
"Come on. Humor me. Please," he begs, pouting.
She sighs and relents to his request, trying to fight the smile from betraying her. He takes her right hand firmly into his left, placing his right hand against the small of her back, pulling her close. They begin to sway back and forth to the soft beat, staring into each other's eyes.
"You look beautiful today, Miss Lewis," he breaks the silence between them, slowly spinning her around.
"You don't look so bad yourself, Mr. Brown."
She grins and looks down at the knot of his tie decorated with music notes, but her smile gradually fades away. Her anxiety's creeping in again. She's thinking about how she hasn't broken things off yet with Barry and how she doesn't want to upset the man now holding her in his arms.
"Is something wrong?" He sees straight through her as usual, his eyes full of concern. "You're not having second thoughts about us, are you?"
"No!" She lets go of his hand and encircles her arms around his neck, rising up on her tiptoes. Her eyes are half-lidded as she brushes her lips back and forth over his. "No second thoughts."
She closes the gap between them and crushes her lips to his. He immediately clasps his arms around her waist, pulling her flush against him, his lips devouring hers with an endless fervor. She roughly traces his lower lip with her tongue, and he slants his mouth obligingly, his tongue darting out to meet hers in a frenzied dance.
She soon backs them up against her desk, opening her legs. He settles his waist in between them, and without warning, their bodies begin moving against each other. He moans against her lips as their arousals come in contact. She thinks she might lose her mind at the sweet friction they're making; her center's practically on fire in need of release.
She breaks free from their kiss to breathe, and his lips begin ravaging her neck. Her breath's ragged, and she's grinding harder against him. She's almost…
"Lainey, wait…" He stills her hips with his hands, placing his forehead to hers. He's panting. "We can't do this here. No matter how much I want it, and believe me, I want it badly."
"Yeah. Sorry." She winces at the loss, disappointed, but knows he's the voice of reason right now.
She dismounts the desk and runs her hands down her face, the backs of her hands gauging the warmth on her cheeks. She's such an idiot for letting herself get carried away with him when anyone could walk in on them. They both could lose their jobs.
"Hey, you sure you're okay?" He asks, cupping her face with his hands. "You seem distracted and you practically jumped my bones when I asked you what was wrong."
"Yeah, everything's great," she lies, her mind drifting to Barry once again. She removes his hands and walks behind her desk, pressing the stop button on the boombox. "Thank you for the rose and the dance, but I think I should focus on getting ready for my classes."
She picks up the binder holding the sheet music for her first class and clutches it to her chest. She's deflecting from the real issue again, and she hates herself for it.
"Okay, I'll… leave you to it then," he says disheartedly and reaches over to grab the boombox. "Just remember I'm right across the hall if you need anything."
"Thanks, CB." She gives him a forced smile, knowing he's worried about her and possibly thinking she's having doubts about their newfound relationship.
He half-smiles at her before heading out the door.
She tosses aside the binder, sinking back into her chair, and presses her forehead to the surface of her desk. She's furious with herself for lying to him, and her heart pangs with regret for dismissing him so abruptly. She's got to get her shit together soon and break up with Barry before she pushes CB further away. And she knows it's the hardest thing she'll ever have to do.
~.~
Sorry for the angst coming back, but I felt it would be hard for Lainey to let Barry go even if she was in love with CB. Hope you'll forgive me! Thank you for reading! ~ Dazzy xxoo