Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, or any properties in this work that I did not make myself.
Harold of Konoha
Chapter twelve: The Konoha bake sale (AKA Warning: consuming Tsume's special brownies might make one into a Big Eater)
One afternoon in the village of Konohagakure, Harold Fisher, one of Konoha's oldest active jonin (oldest active ninja overall) was grabbing a late lunch at an Akimichi clan-owned diner with his friends, Inoichi Yamanaka and Tsume Inuzuka; Tsume's ninja dog Kuromaru was sitting on the floor next to where Tsume sat. Joining Harold and company was Inoichi's friend from the village of Sunagakure, Kankuro, who was visiting at the time.
"…So in the end, even though I'm glad that 'Crusaders of the lost Mark' redeemed Diamond Tiara," Kankuro said, "Until there's an episode that properly follows up on her reformation, I'm still keeping her on my list."
"…The hell were you talking about?!" Tsume exclaimed at the Kazekage's brother.
"So anywho," Harold interrupted, "Sophia wants me to do some grocery shopping when I'm done here."
"What does she want you to pick up, dude?" Inoichi asked.
"Flour, sugar, milk, eggs, vanilla extract," Harold said after taking a hand-written list out of his right back pocket and reading off the items from it.
"So she wants to do some baking," Tsume remarked, "She's more of the kind, nurturing grandma type anyway." Looking over to read the list Harold held, Tsume added when she saw the amounts requested, "Woah. That's a lot of baking."
"Well Konoha's annual big bake sale is tomorrow," Harold pointed out, "Sophia says she is determined not to let any of the people out sell her."
"Your wife does make one hell of a cheesecake," Inoichi said to his best friend, drawing a nod of agreement.
"Konoha's annual big bake sale?" Kankuro said in a questioning tone.
"Every year, the women of Konoha bake a bunch of bake goodies, sells them and uses the proceeds to help a good cause," Harold explained.
"Fun fact: The Akimichi clan buys no less than sixty-seven percent of all food sold at Konoha's annual big bake sale every year," Tsume stated, "And eats it all by day's end."
"…Fatasses," Kuromaru added under his breath.
"Refresh my memory on who the Akimichi clan are," Kankuro said.
"They are one of Konoha's most prominent ninja clans," Inoichi explained, "The Akimichi are good friends of the Nara and the Yamanaka."
"The Akimichi are Konoha's resident fat-asses, basically," Tsume pointed out.
"Fat-asses…" Kankuro replied at length, "…Like that Tenten woman?"
"No, no, but no one can really blame you for making that assumption," Harold remarked.
Right before Kankuro could further inquire about the Akimichi clan, a random male Konoha civilian (1) came running into the diner. "Shikamaru Nara's house caught fire!" the civilian yelled, "There's still someone trapped inside!" After the random male Konoha civilian ran back out of the diner, Inoichi got up and ran out of the diner (2). Harold and the others did not even have to be asked to follow.
When everyone arrived on scene, Harold and the others saw that Shikamaru's house was on fire; standing in the crowd outside that watched firefighters struggle to put out the blaze was Shikamaru Nara, his wife Ino and their son Shikaru; the Nara men were using Nara clan style shadow possession to restrain Ino, keeping her from running into the burning home. "Our daughter is still inside!" Ino screamed as she struggled against the shadow possession.
"You can't just go running into a burning house!" Shikamaru exclaimed.
"Yo, the hell's going on?" Inoichi asked as he and his friends approached the Nara family.
"The stove malfunctioned and started a fire while Ino was baking a cake for the big bake sale tomorrow," Shikamaru explained, "We all got out, but forgot that Inohime is still taking a nap inside."
"DON'T WORRY, INOHIME! GRANDPA'S COMING!" Inoichi yelled as he ran forward about ten feet before Kankuro and Kuromaru tackled him to the ground.
"Inoichi, dude, do you want to get yourself killed?!" Kankuro exclaimed.
"My granddaughter's in there!" the Yamanaka patriarch exclaimed, "I have to-"
Inoichi was cut off when an ear-piercing screech that sounded like that of a bird of prey came sounding in out of nowhere; suddenly, a large blur crashed into a second-floor window. A few seconds later, the blur came crashing back out, but slow enough for everyone to see what it really was. It was a semi-leonine creature that was roughly the size of a Clydesdale. Its front half was eagle-like, its feathers a dark gray with the occasional white spot here and there. Its beak was a dark gray coal color, its eyes a piercing golden yellow, its legs a somewhat lighter shade of gray, and its talons jet black. The back half of the creature was equine in nature, a very dark brown in coloration, with hooves the same color as the talons, and a light brown horse's tail.
The creature held a frightened Inohime in its front legs, which apparently could be used as arms; the poor, frightened girl was dressed in her Frozen-themed sleepwear, and was holding her Pinkie Pie plushy. As the beast flew in place in front of the Nara family, Shikamaru said to the beast, "What the hell are you supposed to be?"
"Feather Edge!" Inoichi exclaimed, getting up from the ground and running over to the hippogriff.
Handing the young Nara girl over to her Yamanaka grandpa, Feather Edge the hippogriff (3) said, "Even with doing this favor, my debt to you has yet to be repaid in full." Flying up into the air, Feather Edge said, "I shall return in time to offer my services once again." After that, the hippogriff flew off.
"Yo Inoichi, wasn't that the creature you fought that one time so that we could get Toonbiicos?" Harold asked.
"Since when could it talk?" Kankuro added.
"What the frigg'en hell was that thing?!" Tsume exclaimed as she pointed in the direction which the hippogriff flew off in.
"That was a family friend of mine, Tsume," Inoichi replied, starring off in the same direction, a single tear trailing down his face. "That was a family friend."
Early the next morning, Harold and company (minus Kankuro, who had to return to Suna) was over at Tsume's place, hanging out in the dining room. "So the big bake sale this year has been dedicated to raising funds to help Shikamaru and his family get back on their feet since their house got burned down," Harold said.
"Yes, although the original plan was to raise money for an abandoned cat sanctuary," Inoichi pointed out.
"Raising money to help Shikamaru and his family is a FAR better goal!" Tsume proclaimed as she set a plate full of brownies on the dining table; it sat next to another plate of brownies that was already there.
"These brownies that I just sat down will be our own little bake goody today," Tsume said to the other humans, "They're my…special brownies."
"Oh ho! Looks like baked goods won't be the ONLY things getting baked today!" Harold exclaimed as he rubbed his hands together.
"Didn't Lady Fifth ban the growth, processing, buying and selling of pot during her tenure as Hokage?" Kuromaru asked, "You know, because of that second ice cream truck incident during Kiba's late teens?"
"That circus clown was responsible for everything and you know it!" Tsume exclaimed, pointing dramatically at her ninja dog.
"Hey, what's with the second plate of brownies?" Inoichi asked, pointing to the pre-existing plate.
"Oh, my daughter-in-law is going to sell that at her table at today's bake sale," Tsume explained, "They're just regular brownies."
"Because your daughter-in-law isn't fun," Harold remarked.
"I know, right?!" Tsume agreed.
Before any of the older ninjas could grab one of Tsume's 'special brownies', a female voice called out, "Hey mama Tsume, can I ask for a favor?" The seniors turned their attention to the source of the voice, who just entered the dining room; it was Sakaki Inuzuka, daughter-in-law of Tsume Inuzuka.
"What's up, Sakaki?" Tsume asked.
"Can you go and pick up the items on this list?" Sakaki asked as she handed a list to Tsume, "I would do it, but I have to get ready for the big bake sale."
Looking at the list, Tsume said, "…Ah, what the hell? Come on, boys. We got a job to do." After Tsume and the boys left, Sakaki turned her attention to the two plates of brownies on the dining room table.
"Did mama Tsume make a plate of brownies for the big bake sale?" Sakaki thought. Shrugging indifferently, Sakaki picked up both plates and took them with her.
...
A few minutes later, Harold and company returned, carrying a few bags of purchased items. "That girl had BETTER pay me back for this!" Tsume swore as she and the boys sat the bags down.
"Well look on the bright side," Harold pointed out, "We have a plate of special brownies to tide us over in the meanwhile!"
"Indeed," Inoichi agreed, "Our worries and angers will melt away in rich chocolaty oh sweet God the special brownies are missing!"
Alarmed, everyone looked to where the plate of special brownies once sat; both it and the plate of regular brownies were missing. "Hey, Tsume," Harold began, "Do…do you think your daughter-in-law may have taken both plates of brownies?"
"If she did," Tsume replied in a worried tone, "Then we're all in a heap of trouble."
"Let's track Sakaki down and get the special brownies back before it's too late!" Inoichi said, leading the others out the front door.
As they ran, Kuromaru remarked, "Tsume, you do realize that you should not have set a plate of your pot brownies next to a plate of regular brownies the day your daughter-in-law is set to sell some of her baked goods at a bake sale."
Later that morning, Sakaki sat at a table she was manning at the big bake sale; her table, as it just so happened, was set up next to the table manned by Harold's wife Sophia. At least half of Sophia's baked good had already been purchased. "Those two Akimichi men sure were hungry," Sakaki said to the older Fisher woman.
"The ninja of the Akimichi clan does have that sort of a reputation, yes," Sophia agreed with a nod. As the two women talked, Hinata Uzumaki, along with her daughter Natsu, and Natsu's recently acquired pet (talking) cat Pantherlily, came up to Sakaki's table.
"I say, miss Natsu," Pantherlily said as he looked up at his owner, "The smells coming from all of these tables are simply divine!"
"Well it is a bake sale, Pantherlily," the Uzumaki/Hyuga girl replied with a slight giggle.
"Oh, Kiba told me that your daughter got a cat," Sakaki said to the Uzumaki matriarch, "But he didn't mention it was a talking cat."
"Maybe he thought that it was not all that big a deal," Hinata replied, "After all, Mayamaru is a talking cat."
"Good point," the Inuzuka/Nekozuka woman agreed with a nod.
"Anywho, my daughter and I were hoping to find someone selling cinnamon rolls, but we've yet to find someone," Hinata began.
"Oh, Mrs. Fisher had a plate of cinnamon rolls, but two Akimichi clan men bought it," Sakaki said, gesturing to Sophia's table next to her.
With a nod of confirmation, Sophia added, "Along with four dozen cookies, two pies, a cake, a dozen muffins, a dozen cupcakes, a plate of brownies-"
"They must have been hungry," Hinata remarked in an amazed tone, interrupting the Fisher matriarch in the process.
Pointing to two plates of brownies on Sakaki's table, Natsu said, "Hey mother, Mrs. Inuzuka has brownies as well."
"I was only supposed to have one plate," Sakaki explained as she got Hinata's attention, "But mama Tsume must have made an extra plate, since I counted two. Figuring that she must have wanted to help raise money to help Ino and her family, I decided to take both plates with me to the bake sale."
With a knowing look, Hinata said, "Kiba's mother must been happy to hear that the bake sale switched from raising funds for the abandoned cat sanctuary to raising funds to help out Ino and her family."
Sighing in a defeated tone, Sakaki remarked, "Knowing mama Tsume, that must be the case."
"So which plate of brownies did your mother-in-law make?" Hinata asked.
"Well I distinctly remembering using the blue-striped plate to hold the brownies that I made," Sakaki said as she gave it some thought. Looking closely at the two plates of brownies, Tsume said after a few seconds, "…Aha! Mama Tsume used the red-striped plate!"
"Well then, I guess that I'll take that one then," Hinata said as she got out some money.
"Oh, thank you," Sakaki replied as she sold Tsume's brownies to Hinata.
A few minutes later, Harold and company had arrived at the bake sale; the three humans were looking all around, hoping to find Tsume's daughter-in-law before it was too late. "If she sold those brownies already," Tsume said in a foreboding tone, "I swear that I'll-"
"Hey, mama Tsume! Over here!" Sakaki's voice called out, getting the group's attention. Spotting Sakaki's table (where Sakaki still sat; Sophia was no longer sitting at a table next to Sakaki, as she had to leave for some reason), Harold and company ran over.
"Sakaki, young lady, did you see where a plate of brownies Tsume made went to?" Harold asked, "Tsume made those for her, Inoichi and I to eat."
"Oh dear, you mean to tell me that those brownies WEREN'T meant for the bake sale?" Sakaki said in a worried tone, "I thought mama Tsume made them to be sold at the bake sale to help out Ino and her family."
"The boys and I have already taken care of OUR share of helping out my daughter and her family," Inoichi explained, "In fact, Michelle and I are letting them stay at our place until Lord Sixth can set them up in a new house. He treats his advisors, as well as their families, very well."
"So you meant to have those brownies for yourselves," Sakaki stated, making her statement sound somewhat like a question.
"Yes, those were meant for the boys and I," Tsume replied, "I got a box of deluxe dog biscuits for Kuromaru so he wouldn't feel left out."
"Oh dear, how am I going to explain this to Hinata?" Sakaki asked rhetorically, sounding mildly worried, "I mean, Hinata and her daughter got those brownies, and no doubt by now that-"
"Wait a minute there hold on," Harold interrupted. With Sakaki's full attention on him, the fisher patriarch said, "Did you just say that you sold those brownies to Lord Sixth's wife and daughter?"
"They seemed quite eager to try them," Sakaki remarked with a nod of confirmation, "I just hope little Natsu remembers not to let her cat have any. But knowing her, I don't have to worry. She's shown to be a very responsible cat-owner." All three older ninjas and Kuromaru went wide-eyed with shock mixed with a hint of worry.
"…Did you see which direction they went?" Tsume asked.
"I believe they went that way," Sakaki replied as she pointed in some random direction (the direction was random to Harold and his group, at least).
"Come on, boys! We have to go before it's too late!" Harold proclaimed as he and the others took off running in the direction that Sakaki pointed out.
Somewhere in the area of the bake sale, Hinata and her daughter were sitting on a bench; sitting between them was the plate of brownies they bought, now devoid of brownies. Laying on the ground at Natsu's feet was Pantherlily. The two Uzumaki/Hyuga females had eaten all of the brownies; the cat licked off the plate, only getting a small amount of crumbs that, combined, should not pose any significant threat to his well-being. All three of them had lazy, eyes-half closed looks on their faces. "H-hey Natsu," Hinata said in a lazy tone, "D-did I ever tell you that your father has an AMAZING butt?"
"Pfft," Natsu snorted before fully giving into a case of the giggles.
"W-what's so funny, young lady?" Hinata asked, her tone not changing.
"Father has a butt," Natsu remarked in the same lazy tone as her mother before giggling again. Hinata snorted back a laugh before giving into it in full force.
"Yeah, that does sound pretty silly, now that you mention it," the Uzumaki matriarch remarked.
"H-hey mother," Natsu began, "I'm feeling peckish."
"You know what? So do I!" Hinata proclaimed as loudly as she could, which was barely louder than the tone she was using up until now.
"H-Haru said that he and his family would be here," Natsu said, "He said he wanted to get some stuff here with me."
"Maybe I can convince your father to get me some grindage as well," Hinata remarked in a slightly more relaxed tone, "I could really go for some cookies. Or a whole pizza."
"Don't forget the cheese-flavored puffs and citrus soda," Natsu pointed out.
"DOOD!" Hinata proclaimed as loud as she has managed so far, "That's brilliant! Let's get some grindage from our guys!"
"I-I-I shall go with miss…miss…miss eleven-year-old girl who owns me," Pantherlily said as he lazily got up (well cats always get up lazily, but Pantherlily did so more lazily than the average cat) to follow Natsu.
Later, somewhere in the area where the bake sale was taking place, Harold and company was walking around. "What if Hinata and her daughter recognize that the brownies they bought contain pot?" Kuromaru asked, "Not only will the lot of us get in trouble for possession, but Sakaki will also get in trouble for selling illegal contraband!"
"As much as I love the idea of my daughter-in-law in prison, she had no idea that she was selling goods," Tsume pointed out.
"Ignorance isn't an excuse," Kuromaru replied. Looking to Inoichi, Kuromaru said as he gave the Yamanaka patriarch a knowing look, "Isn't that right, Inoichi?"
"It was the accordion salesman and you know it!" Inoichi exclaimed. As the three older ninjas and one ninja dog walked, they bumped into the sixth (and current) Hokage, Naruto Uzumaki. With Naruto was Sasuke Uchiha and Shikamaru Nara.
"Hey Mr. Yamanaka, Ino wants to know more about the creature who rescued Inohime," Shikamaru said, "Especially since it claimed it rescued Inohime because it owed you a debt of some kind."
"Yeah, hippogriffs have a weird culture," Inoichi remarked as he scratched the back of his head, "Apparently, since I defeated him in battle but spared his life, Feather Edge says that he feels indebted to me."
"What the hell is a hippogriff?" Sasuke asked rhetorically. Before Inoichi could answer properly, Hinata came walking up to the group; the traditional Hyuga clan robes she normally wore were somewhat messed up, and her glasses were close to slipping off from one ear, which would leave them dangling from the other.
"N-Naruto! Dude!" Hinata said in her newfound lazy tone, throwing both arms around her husband's shoulder.
"Did Hinata just refer to Naruto as 'dude'?" Shikamaru whispered to Saasuke.
As the Uchiha man shrugged, Naruto said to Hinata, "Umm, dear, are you alright?"
"Oh, I'm fine," Hinata replied, "I can just REALLY use some grindage and…pfft!"
As the Uzumaki/Hyuga woman started to snicker, Naruto said, "What's so funny?"
Putting her lips very close to Naruto's left ear, Hinata whispered, "You have a butt." With that, Hinata threw her head back and laughed like what she just said was the funniest thing in the world.
"Uhh…yeah, I do have a butt," Naruto replied in an unsure tone, sounding mildly worried about his wife's behavior.
"Wait!" Hinata exclaimed as loudly as she could manage (which wasn't all that much), "I just had a thought, Naruto! You have a *pfft* butt, right?" After Naruto nodded in the affirmative while still unsure how this was going to go, Hinata pointed to Sasuke and Shikamaru and asked, "Do they have butts too?"
"Uhh…yes, they do," Naruto replied, "I mean, they should have butts." Hinata kept her right hand on Naruto's shoulder in order to keep herself upright, because she started laughing hysterically, holding her left arm over her stomach.
"Hey Naruto, why is your wife acting like she's high?" Shikamaru asked Naruto, clearly looking alarmed.
"Uhh, about that," Inoichi said as he, Harold and Tsume started to look guilty, "The boys and I MAY have something to do with that." Turning to face the older ninja, Naruto had a look of total calmness. But Harold and his friends knew that there was a very strong storm brewing behind that calm.
"You have one minute to explain yourselves," the sixth lord Hokage replied.
Somewhere else in the area where the bake sale was taking place, Haru Uchiha was walking with Natsu; the Uchiha boy was surprised that the Uzumaki/Hyuga girl was so eager to try as many things as possible at the bake sale. Shikaru warned him about 'girls obsessing over keeping themselves thin', or words to that effect. But Natsu was obviously an exception, if her current attitude was an indication; her appetite made her seem more like an Akimichi than an Uzumaki or Hyuga. If that were the case, Haru thought, then Natsu was the skinniest Akimichi he ever saw. At this point, Haru was now starting to support/carry Natsu, who seemed very tired.
"H-hey Haru," Natsu said in a lazy tone, "My mother and I h-had a revelation earlier."
"What would that be?" Haru asked.
Putting her lips very close to Haru's ear, Natsu whispered, "My father has a butt."
As Natsu threw her head back and started to snicker, Haru replied in an unsure tone, "Umm, yes, that would be accurate to say, I suppose."
"Oh! I just had a thought!" Natsu exclaimed suddenly (but not all that loud). Pointing to Haru, Natsu asked, "Do YOU have a butt too?"
"Umm…yes?" Haru answered, growing more and more concerned with Natsu's behavior at the moment.
"H-hey Haru," Natsu said. Putting her lips close to Haru's ear again, Natsu whispered, "I wanna see it."
"WAIT, WHAT?!" Haru exclaimed, clearly alarmed. Suddenly, Haru and Natsu both heard repeated, rapid-fire meowing. Looking up, they saw Pantherlily was chasing his tail with such force that the circles he was running in gave him enough thrust and lift to enable him to fly.
"Haru, look!" Natsu exclaimed as she pointed to her cat, "Pantherlily is flying!" As she started to snicker again, the Uzumaki/Hyuga girl added, "And I don't even have HM02." With all of the weirdness that was going on, Haru had one thought; he had to let Lord Sixth and his father know what the hell is going on.
"…So let me see if I have this correct," Naruto said to the three older ninja in a clearly annoyed tone, "Mrs. Inuzuka made brownies with pot in them for the three of you to eat. But Sakaki took them with her to sell at the bake sale, mistakenly believing them to be a show of Mrs. Inuzuka trying to help out with the bake sale. Then Hinata and Natsu bought the pot brownies, and apparently ate them all." Giving the three older ninja a stern(er) look, Naruto said, "There IS a reason why Lady Tsunade made pot illegal in Konoha."
"Hey, Sakaki wasn't supposed to take the special brownies the boys and I were going to eat!" Tsume defended.
"So Naruto," Shikamaru began, "Your wife, and probably your daughter as well, are currently under the effects of illegal drugs thanks to my father-in-law, his friends, and technically Kiba's wife by virtue of the fact that she was the one who sold them the pot brownies in the first place."
"Sakaki WILL have to face some sort of punishment from the law for her role in this mess, even IF it was unintentional and she did so without knowing about it," Sasuke said, "But is it possible to show her some lenience? For Kiba's sake?"
"I started considering something along those lines for Sakaki the instant her role in this mess was brought up," Naruto replied, "And I can try to make an argument that this is technically her first ever run-in with the law." Pointing to Harold and the other older ninja, Naruto added, "But these three have so many offences, each of their respective rap sheets have more pages than the fifth Harry Potter book! I can't say they'll get off so easily."
"Oh come ON, Lord Sixth!" Inoichi complained, "Everyone knows the only reason why Lady Fifth banned pot was because the news storm it created distracted people from the fact that she embezzled villages funds to pay off/fuel her gambling addiction!"
"Which…is part of the reason why I'm trying to cut through layers of red tape to legalize pot here in Konoha," Naruto replied at length.
"Look Lord Sixth, as his granduncle, Haru needs me to not go to did you just say you are trying to legalize pot?" Harold asked.
"I've been working on it since a month and a half ago," Naruto replied to the surprised looking older ninja, "It's legal in Suna, whose medics have discovered that it has a surprisingly high number of uses in the field of medicine."
"Sakura says that she's wanting to study these uses, and she can't properly do so if the material in question is illegal in Konoha," Sasuke added.
"The three of you WILL have to serve some kind of punishment in the mean while," Naruto said to the three older ninja, "But once I can finally get pot legalized here in Konoha, people serving pot-related time in prison will have their sentences reviewed and revised. Some may even be let out of prison altogether."
"Woohoo! Pot's going to get did you just say the three of us have to go to prison?" Harold exclaimed, diverging from his trail of thought midsentence. At that moment, Haru came walking up to the group, carrying Natsu over his back.
"Natsu ate more baked goods today than I can expect most Akimichi clan members to eat," Haru stated, "Also, she asked me to show her my butt."
"Wait, what?!" Naruto exclaimed, clearly caught off guard.
"You better not have done so, young man!" Sasuke said in a stern tone.
"I didn't show Natsu my butt, I swear!" Haru defended, "As a matter of fact, I'm still shocked that she'd ask such a thing of me! Also, Natsu's cat can fly now."
"My daughter's cat…" Naruto said at length, as if he had trouble believing what he was just told, "…Can fly."
"Someone used HM02 on Pantherlily!" Natsu complained in a tired, lazy tone, "I don't even have the badge that will let him use Fly outside of battle!" After that little bit, Natsu promptly fell asleep, snoring uncharacteristically loud for a girl such as her.
Naruto looked at Harold, Inoichi and Tsume. "…Yeah, the three of you are going to prison," Naruto said.
Harold, Inoichi and Tsume were sitting at a table in the dining area of Konoha's local prison, eating lunch. All three of them were wearing orange prison jump suits. "Well look on the bright side, boys," Harold said, "Lord Sixth says that we'll be released early as soon as he gets pot legalized here in Konoha."
"A damn good thing Kiba's taking care of Kuromaru for me," Tsume added, pointing her fork to Harold before using it to shovel a fork full of food into her mouth. Tsume and the boys were surprised when Sakaki sat down next to Tsume (Harold and Inoichi sat opposite of Tsume at their table).
"Well this is just great," Sakaki said in a cheesed-off tone, "Now my son has a convicted felon for a mother. Lovely. Just lovely."
"Hey, Bankai's granny is a convicted felon," Tsume offered. After being shot a piercing glare by her daughter-in-law, Tsume said, "Right. Sorry."
"Hey, Kiba's also looking after your cat for you, right?" Inoichi asked.
"Yeah, Kiba and Bankai are pulling double duty, looking after both Kuromaru AND Mayamaru while mama Tsume and I are both stuck in here," Sakaki replied.
"Hey, did you know that pot was legalized in Suna sometime during the first Kazekage's tenure?" Harold asked Sakaki.
"Really? It's been legal in Suna for that long?" Sakaki answered in a tone showing surprise, mixed with a mild amount of interest.
"The boys and I would often have holidays in Suna," Inoichi explained as he began to tell his story, "These holidays are basically just excuses for the boys and I to smoke some of that sweet, sweet cuss with Kankuro."
"As the older brother of the current Kazekage, Kankuro is able to get ahold of the dankest of weed," Harold added, "Smoking pot is the only way that most folks would be able to understand that pink horse that Inoichi's granddaughter likes so much."
"…That makes WAY too much sense," Sakaki replied in a monotone.
END, CHAPTER TWELVE
Author's notes:
(1) This particular male Konoha citizen is voiced by my older sister. She aspires to do voice work.
(2) Which was surprising, given that he was boxed in by Kankuro.
(3) Feather Edge the hippogriff has the same voice as that gargoyle from Futurama.
Well anywho, here's chapter twelve for you. I was a little hesitant to put the idea for this chapter to words, but I decided to go for it anyway. The humor potential for such a plot is too good to pass up.