After the nurses had finished helping Steve get cleaned up they gave him a slight sedative so help him rest while they tended to his medical equipment; changing dressings and emptying bags. Steve was only half aware of their presence, and to be honest he didn't really care. His brain was still fighting to understand and take in his the doctor had just told him. The dull interruption of the sedative was welcome. He allowed himself to mentally slip off, as he had done on countless flights in cold hard cargo planes into the combat theatre. This was something which he would have to tackle head on tomorrow. For now he let his body succumb to sleep.

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Steve was awoken by the sound of a chair being dragged across the floor. "Thats odd" he thought to himself, "there must be someone in the kitchen". He opened his eyes expecting to find himself on the couch in the living room. However he was greeted by the flashing lights of the ICU complete with its sterile anti-septic smell. Why was he here? what was going on?"

"Good morning babe" a familiar voice pulled his thoughts back to the room. "Did anyone ever tell you that your nostrils flare in your sleep, because they do".

"Whaa?" his partners statement took him by surprise, "stop watching me sleep, its weird" he managed to half mumble out. He paused as he realised his neck was restricted. "Oh fuck!" he mumbled as the images of the previous day came back. The doctor pointing to the image of his back, the MRI, vomiting in front of his team. His eyes travelled back down to where he was able to glimpse the blue lining of the brace. "Yesterday happened didn't it?" His pulse was again picking up, he could hear it on the heart rate monitor.

"Yep, yes it did buddy", Steve noticed how the wrinkles around the sides of Danny's eyes seemed more prominent as he formed his usual post bad news squint and pulled his lips tights. "But we are going to get through this, I don't know what the end looks like, but we are going to be there together, you, me, Kono, Chin and Catherine". He patted Steve again on the arm.

Danny was kicking himself mental almost immediately after he said it. Why did that have to sound so rehearsed and soppy? But, at least it was true, and he really meant it.

"Okay" Steve mumbled as a reply staring up at the ceiling. He wanted to tell Danny that he was absolutely terrified. He wanted to tell him that it seemed like a terrible dream or a joke, that he didn't know what he was going to do, what he even could do. But right now he just couldn't. Steve could again feel the emotions which he was normally so talented at keeping in check raging lose around his body. He really was not himself and the last thing he felt like doing was losing it and letting it all pour out. He had to keep some image of Steve McGarrett, SEAL and Five-0 leader. Not this. He just kept staring upwards, trying to keep in check.

Before either of them could say any more the two nurses from yesterday nocked on the glass of Steve's ICU door, signalling their entrance into his room. They were followed by two large orderlies.

"Steve, your doctors are happy for us to move you down to Ward D this morning. It is our spinal care unit. We will be able to start initial tests and exercises so that we can monitor your mobility index and get you prepared for rehabilitation.

"Okay" he replied again, unwilling to move his focus from the ceiling.

"Danny" the ICU nurses had got to know the team pretty well, "how about you come back in about two hours we should have him settled in his new room by then". The nurse glanced down at the file she was holding, "he will be in ward D, room 109".

"Alright, catch you later babe", Danny tried to sound positive and calm. He gently patted Steve's forearm before extraction himself from the hospital arm chair he had been sitting in for the past four hours and walked out the door towards the cafeteria.

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Steve tried to mentally shut off as the nurses undid and rearranged the medical equipment and moved his bed down to the new ward. He watched the changes of roof type, the scratches on the ceiling of the elevator and the changes of light as he moved into a new area of the hospital. The walls were a buttery yellow. He could glimpse bright floral paintings framed up on the walls from his peripheral vision.

"Steve, I am Josie and this is Emma we are going to get you comfortable and set up in your new room". A pretty brunette looked over him, "we just need to get you cleaned up for the day and do a few exercises. Okay?". It was clear she was looking for him to give the go ahead. Steve just gave a grunt in reply. If he pretended that this wasn't happening then maybe it wasn't real and he could go back to his life.

"Okay so we are going to empty out your collection bags first, take out that ng tube and then we will need to do a quick skin check and change over your TEDs and dressings and then just do a couple of stretches", she was kind in her tone, but also very matter a fact. Steve could't be bothered to reply, it wasn't like he had any choice in the matter. He simply clenched his jaw tighter and continued to stare upwards pretending it was happening to someone else.

It was the first time he was awake while the nurses tended to all the equipment. But he just couldn't handle being present right now. Both nurses were fussing down at the end of the bed, Steve knew what they must be emptying but he could hardly allow himself to think about it.

After they were done they came they moved up to the top of the bed again. "Right Steve, the doctor wants us to remove your feeding tube so that you can start on a better dietary regime. Now this is going to be a little uncomfortable, so just bare with me for a minute. You might feel some discomfort don't panic if you start to gag". Steve could see a blue gloved hand extending toward his left cheek removing the tape. Her instructions were hardly helpful. There was a long god awful tug right down from his chest and throat which scraped and stung as it came up his smaller nasal canal. He began to gag and cough as he watched the cream coloured tube snake its way out of his nostril. It felt like it was 6 foot long. There was no way he could control the his coughing. "Oh fuck" he thought his was going to be a repeat of yesterday as his breathing began to constrict and the heaving began. He felt so impossibly weak that he couldn't even cough properly. He was essentially just dry heaving and spluttering all over himself. An oxygen mask provided some welcome fresh air and helped to calm his panic. Clenching his jaw tight he fought to keep some semblance of his usual steely composure. Not today, not today, not today he chanted to himself. No more displays like last night in front of the team. If he could keep it together today then maybe everything would be alright and his life would go back to normal.

The nurses began with the skin check. They delicately pulled down the blanket which was pulled up under the SEALs arm pits and then bit by bit examined his arms, sides and then legs. He was then log rolled over where his back, hips and thighs were equally closely examined.

The roll to the side brought on another wave of panic light-headedness and nausea, but this time thankfully he was able to take control and ride it out without vomiting or letting panic take charge. "Just get through today, just today" he kept chanting to himself.

"Nice tattoos", one of the nurses remarked, trying to establish small talk "how many do you have?". Steve just ignored her. If he didn't talk or engage with them then this wasn't happening. There weren't two women inspecting every area of his body, they weren't stretching out his arms and fingers which he was almost totally unable to move and they weren't rolling on compression stocking onto his legs which he could see but not feel. It was happening to someone else. He just kept repeating his new mantra of "not today" to himself as he stared blankly upwards. If he just didn't think about it. He told himself that what the doctor had said it wasn't true. They must have gotten it wrong.

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Catherine arrived while Steve was being attended to. She was still in her DPCUs straight off the USAF flight back to Hikham AFB. Danny was waiting outside the door while the nurses were with Steve, it was taking longer than he thought it should.

He embraced her in a hug as she collapsed into his arms. "I am so glad you are here Cath. He really needs you".

"Danny how is he? Is he awake? Does he know?". Danny could tell that she had been crying by the rubbed red marks around her eyes.

"He is awake Catherine, honestly I don't really know how he is doing. I mean, he only woke up yesterday. I don't think he fully understands what is happening. Although to be honest, I don't either". Danny replied. He held her at arms length.

"Catherine, look, we all just have to be there. No matter how he reacts to all of this, we just have to be around. Its not going to be easy and it is fine to be upset, its fine to be mad." His brow crumpled as kept talking. " What ever the near future looks like with Steve being here, then rehab then I don't even know what after that we have to be there and help him deal with it". His hands gestured wildly at his last statement.

"I know Danny. Unfortunately this is not the first time I have visited someone I care deeply about in circumstances such as this. Although, I suppose", Catherine looked around at the garish floral painting on the walls, "this is my first time in a civilian hospital doing it".

She held onto Danny's shoulders and looked him square in the eyes "I know I look upset but this is really out of shock and worry. Steve is alive, his brain is okay and he still has the use of his hands. This could have been a hell of a lot worse. This is going to be hard and tiring but we are all going to come out the other end alright. Okay?".

Danny nodded. Here he was trying to rev himself up for a pep talk and she was the one helping him through. These Navy girls were tough.

The two nurses opened the door to Steve's new room and looked at both Catherine and Danny. Their eyes scanning over her combat fatigues. Catherine could see their eyes growing wide as they put to and two together in their heads. The note about S-E-A-L on his chart finally making sense.

Catherine watched both women walking down the hall then took in one last breath for courage and walked into Steve's room.

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She had tried to prepare herself on the flight over for what she would see. After all she had seen worse during deployments. Especially her last tour. But it was different when it was someone you loved. Wounded soldiers have a faceless nature to them, just numbers and injury stats. But this was Steve, Steve McGarrett the strongest and bravest man she knew, and he was hurting. From his expression staring up wards she could tell it wasn't just his physical injuries.

There was dark bruising all down his rights side. On his face she could see through the bandages that it was especially dark near his temple. He looked drained and exausted dark slashes of purple fatigue under each eye. He looked like a much older man. She just wanted to take him in her arms and hold him and cry with him. But right now she knew she couldn't, not right now.

He must of sensed her movement as his eyes flicked in her direction, head constrained by the neck collar.

"Cath" he gasped. "You are here".

She move quickly over to his left bedside and grabbed his hand, her other hand delicately stroking his less bruised cheek. "I came as soon as I could. Oh I am just so relived that you are alive". Suddenly she could feel the tension in his neck and jaw. He looked at her with an expression she had never seen before. Was that fear in his eyes?

"Has Danny told you? About my spine?" it was almost as if he couldn't say it aloud.

Catherine nodded slowly. "Yes I know." She couldn't help herself. Her eyes travelled down his face to the back brace and then to where his legs lay under the blanket. His toes had begun to point down. Realising what she was doing she brought her gaze back to the man she cared about more than anything's face. His expression had turned from fear to sadness, the lines around his eyes soflty creased together, she could see his lips quivering slightly. He looked down, he couldn't look at her right now.

His voice was small when eventually he spoke. "I just don't know what I am going to do", his eyes had tears in them when they met her's again. "Oh Cath. This is bad, this is really bad"

Maybe it was the lingering frontal lobe damage, or perhaps he just didn't have the strength to hold in his emotions and longer. They broke free of the flood gates and deep sobs wracked his body. From then on his mantra and promise to himself was useless. All the thoughts and fears he had been ignoring were suddenly so present. This can't be forever, his life was not meant to be like this. He couldn't live like this. He just couldn't.

Catherine placed her head on his left, less bruised shoulder and arm over his head with her fingers very gently in his hair. Lifting her head, she placed her lips on his forehead in a soft loving kiss. Then with her thumb, wiped the tears off his cheek.

Still with her face next to his, Catherine quietly spoke to the wounded SEAL. "You are a strong, brave amazing man Steve. You will get through this. We are all here. You are not alone. None of us are going to give up on you, so you can't either". She kissed him again on the forehead, " this isn't going to be easy. But I guess you never did choose easy did you".