Drinks after Work (Eraserjoke, Mt. Mic, MirkoWoods)
Rumi Usagiyama, also known as the Rabbit Hero Mirko, was waiting outside of the restaurant for her boyfriend Shinji to show up at the izakaya. At first, Shinji had been reluctant to come out for a night out with their friends. However, insistent prodding and cajoling by Rumi had eventually worn him down enough that he did agree to participate.
It wasn't like Rumi didn't understand his reticence; their friend Yu Takeyama was his co-worker at his hero agency, and they had gone to U.A. at the same time as her friend Emi. Plus, Emi's boyfriend Shouta and Shouta's best friend Hizashi had been upperclassmen when they were first years. Add to that that Hizashi had been dating Yu for a little over a year now and the whole thing was a recipe for disaster.
Looking up from her phone, Rumi saw her boyfriend swing down from the top of a nearby building and ditch his helmet.
"Hey babe, glad you got here safely. Are you ready?" Rumi asked.
"No." Shinji replied.
"Oh relax, it won't be that bad. It'll be fun!"
"No, it won't. You'll see." he sighed.
"So that's what you look like under that helmet!" Yu Takeyama laughed.
"Yup! Handsome devil, isn't he?" Mirko beamed.
"No wonder he gives you wood, Rumi! Bet you guys must really be giving the whole 'humping like rabbits' thing an earnest try!" Emi Fukukado, AKA Ms. Joke, jabbed.
Shinji Nishiya, the usually masked hero in question Kamui Woods, shot his friend and his coworker a dirty look each, then he slouched in his seat and pulled the baseball cap further down to cover his face. His girlfriend, uncharacteristically gently, wrapped her arm around his shoulder, patting his head comfortingly.
"There, there, Shinji, don't be embarrassed by their childish jokes," Rumi whispered comfortingly.
"I knew this was a mistake" Shinji sighed. "Work is already annoying enough having to see Takeyama in a professional context. I was wondering why Edgeshot and Ryukyu had said no when we invited them to come with us. Now I know why."
"Oh, don't be that way, Shinji! Just be cool and enjoy a night out with your friends, man! Yeah!" Hizashi Yamada roared.
"Besides, I think they wanted some alone time without us cracking jokes about how Edge would use his 'mighty ninjatou' to slay Ryukyu tonight." Emi pointed out. "And by 'slay her', I mean sex. With his penis."
"Only you would make that kind of joke, Emi" Hizashi laughed, shaking his head at his friend's ribald euphemism.
"And I would have too!" she replied.
Shinji looked sidelong at Present Mic and Ms. Joke. "I'm kind of surprised Shouta hasn't unfriended and dumped you two."
"Believe me, I've tried," Aizawa muttered, shrugging. "But as much as I've tried, I'm too used to them being in my life to get rid of them permanently. That being said, I try and get my fun out of the whole thing; Yamada is one of my favorite people to erase."
"In what way?" Kamui asked.
"Well, for example, when they first started dating Takeyama and Hizashi invited me and Emi out for karaoke. As you might expect, our Voice Hero here loves using his quirk to belt out on the big show tunes. So, whenever it was his turn to sing, I would randomly erase Hizashi's quirk mid-song; do you have any idea how hilarious it is for him to suddenly go from booming to dead silent at random?" The Erasure hero smirked.
"It's uncool is what it is!" Present Mic scowled. "Why can't you just appreciate my talent?"
"Because unfortunately your only real talent is being deeply irritating." Aizawa snarked back.
"Speaking of irritating, can we talk about how low-key vindictive Eraser is sometimes?" Mt. Lady asked. "Especially when Emi and he are in the middle of a fight. He goes with her to her open mic appearances and erases her quirk so that she can't force the crowd to laugh when she's bombing."
Rumi looked up, aghast. "I knew it! I was wondering why those lame jokes of yours had the crowd dying of laughter that time I came to watch!" the Rabbit Hero accused.
Ms. Joke turned red with embarrassment "Let's not talk about me, ok! I only do it when I'm really dying on stage and need the ego boost!" she cried.
"Oh god, can we stop talking and just order? I'm super hungry." Aizawa groaned.
"Same, to be honest." Mt. Lady added.
"I'm also in desperate need of a drink; I deserve it after the day I had with these goddamn kids," Aizawa grumbled.
"Same." Hizashi commiserated.
After delicious food and drink shared, Aizawa poured out the last of the sake from the bottle on the table and knocked it back almost entirely in one gulp.
"Jesus Christ, Eraser. Was today really that bad?" Kamui Woods asked.
"Yes." The two U.A. teachers said in unison.
"Oh? Who was it this time? Bakugo, Midoriya, or Mineta?" Joke asked.
"All three," Aizawa responded "Bakugo got into a hissy fit over something Midoriya said when the boys were getting changed out of their costumes following a training exercise with Class 1-B. He took his rage out on the wall and accidentally blasted a hole into the girl's locker room. As you can imagine, a sudden window into a room filled with female classmates in their underwear caused Mineta to misbehave in the worst way. It was even worse because the girls of Class 1-B did not know of Mineta's perverted nature and were not prepared for the frankly cringeworthy ogling."
"Ugh, I remember that little pervert from back when he interned with me." Mt. Lady said darkly. "I swear I basically had to force him to do chores every waking hour of the day just to stop him from trying to take photos of my ass with his cell phone."
"Wait, what?!" Mirko said disgustedly. "No wonder that little bastard asked for me for an internship this time around!"
"Yeah, I was worried that might happen." Present Mic sighed. "The little guy was muttering almost as bad as Midoriya during English on the day we announced internships."
"Yeah, we probably should have warned you about that, Rumi," Aizawa said apologetically. "I would advise you to decline Mineta's request unless you want smutty pictures of you on the internet."
"You mean more than there already are?" Mirko asked sardonically. "I've seen Shinji's browser history; there is a disturbing amount of content drawn of me."
"Oh ho? Why were you looking up naughty pictures of Rumi, Shinji?" Mt Lady and Ms. Joke teased.
His face turning bright red, the Arboreal hero hemmed and hawed until he finally said "I mean, Rumi and I have to spend a lot of time apart because of work and I have needs. It feels like I'm cheating if I use porn of other women when I'm doing that, y'know?".
The other five adults sat there in stunned silence until Present Mic broke the ice with uproarious laughter, Aizawa, Takeyama, and Emi quickly joining him.
"Oh my god, Shinji, you're such a fucking dweeb I can't even!" the Voice hero guffawed.
"Seriously, Shinji, I am embarrassed for you. What were you even thinking?" Aizawa asked, trying his hardest to stifle his smile.
"Probably something like 'Oh yeah, Rumi would never let me do her in the rabbit hole.'!" Emi shrieked.
"For all we know, he was looking up art of Rumi with a strap-on and fantasized she was doing him in his rabbit hole!" Mt. Lady howled.
Shinji smiled sinisterly and said "Oh, like I don't know about the weird things you are into, Takeyama. Don't forget that I am the admin for our office's internet. I know exactly the type of things you research and have probably convinced Hizashi to try."
Hearing this, the Mineyama hero and the Voice hero turned ashen.
Turning to Eraserhead, Shinji added, "And don't think I don't remember what I caught you and Kayama doing when she visited you during your 3rd year at UA, Aizawa-senpai."
This also caused Shouta pause, as Emi cried "Wait, she's the reason you know how to do that?! Shouta, how could you?"
As their friends were left dealing with the bombshells he had dropped, Shinji made a mental note to talk to Rumi about not sharing such personal details in the future.
Turning to Rumi, who was now grinning at her friends being put on the back foot by her significant other, Shinji got up and helped her to her feet.
As he helped her put her coat on, Mirko said, "Well, Shinji and I need to get going; I want some quality time with my man, and maybe Yu is right; maybe I will let him go down the rabbit hole."
"Ew! Definitely didn't need that image" Mt. Lady cried, shaking her head vigorously.
Shinji laughed, perhaps for the first time all night.
"See you at work, Yu. You were right, Rumi, this was fun."