Steve's treatment team met on the Monday afternoon. There were five people gathered in the modern hospital conference room. Their dress ranged from hospital scrubs to hawaiian shirts. It had been three weeks since that morning on the North Shore where the fate of Five-0 had changed dramatically.
Dr Lucas, his trauma surgeon, lead the review board. "Thank you all for coming, today's review concerns Steve McGarrett, admitted with complete SCI at T12-L1 and possible TBI of frontal lobe. The intent is to see Mr McGarrett.."
"Lieutenant Commander" Dr Levi, the psychiatrist, interjected.
"Yes, sure, transferred to Tripler Medical Centre to commence his rehab. From my perspective, he is medically stable, the rods to secure his T12 and L1 dislocation have taken well and there is minimal risk of infection. Neurology? What is your opinion?" He directed the question to the other man in scrubs across the table from him.
"Since he has woken up I have been pleased with his progress. As we anticipated the frontal lobe damage from the linear skull fracture has been minimal and my assessment is that he should have no ongoing impairments from that injury. As for his SCI, he is still experiencing spinal shock, however functional testing and an MRI from this morning looks promising and I don't see any concerns with the patient being transferred to Tripler to commence rehab. The earlier that he starts, the better change we have in ensuring the best recovery and avoiding any loss of existing function above the injury site". Having finished the doctor sat back from the table and straightened his notes before looking back up at Dr Lucas. "I have to scrub-in in about 20mins, I better head off". With that he collected up his notes and headed out of the conference room.
"Okay, OT and Physio, what is your opinions? Any issues handing him over to Tripler?". At the right of Dr Lucas there was a fit athletic looking male and female pair, the woman was dressed in smart workout clothes and the man wore the usual "aloha casual" Hawaiian shirt and kakis.
"For physio" the women started "no issues. I haven't had a lot to do with the patient due to the very recent nature of his injury however the mild injury to his shoulder and elbow that he sustained from the impact of the car is healing very well. I don't see that causing any long-term issues or impacting his ability to conduct rehab." The physio blushed slightly which the other medical professionals in the room tried to ignore "he is in excellent physical shape, which will set him in good stead for his recovery".
The man in the Hawaiian shirt next to her began "same as physio for occupational therapy, most will start at Tripler, however he is displaying some digit dexterity and yes, his strength and fitness will greatly assist his functionality and ability to adapt. So, no issues from me. I will package up my notes and send over to Tripler. They are very military over there" he scoffed slightly "but that might suit someone from his background".
"It absolutely will" Dr Levi, the psych, interjected again "I have been meeting with Steve regularly since he was transferred to the ward. He has an excellent support network with his work colleges, particularly Detective Williams, who was there with him at the accident". He rubbed the bridge of his nose and squinted slightly "I am concerned about Danny Williams, he is burning himself out and isn't allowing himself to rest appropriately, but that is a separate issue. Steve is going through the usual grieving process – I would say he is about the denial and anger phase right now, although obviously it isn't a linear process. But, Tripler with is routine and more military atmosphere should really assist Lieutenant Commander McGarrett to begin to psychologically deal with his injury and move on to acceptance faster. I highly recommend his transfer. I will talk to the whole Five-0 task force team before he leaves; I think that they need to talk to HPD or at least an external professional for their own well-being".
Dr Lucas push his chair back from the table. "Great, well I am glad that we are all in agreement. I will arrange for the transfer on Wednesday morning that gives us 24hrs to sort out notes and prepare".
With that the remaining four people in the room headed out.
###
The operation on the dock was a complete bust. Not arrests, not illegal imports confiscated, nothing at all found just a big waste of everyone's time. On return to the Palace, the team were stripping off the body armor and returning their weapons to the armory feeling overall pretty dejected. This had been their first case without Steve and it was failing. They needed a leader and as much as Danny and Chin were trying to hold the team together it wasn't the same. As they walked into their office, Danny's desk phone rang. It was a number that he hadn't seen before but he answered it anyway.
"Hi Detective Williams, this is Dr Johno Levi" A warm friendly voice introduced himself. "I am the psychologist on Lieutenant Commander McGarrett's treatment team. We are looking to transfer him to Tripler Medical Facility on Wednesday but I would really like to meet with the Five-0 taskforce before then. I can come to you if that is easier?".
The call had slightly taken Danny by surprise "um sure", he cleared his throat "we can meet you tomorrow morning, we will come up to Queens, how is 9am?". That same anxious buzz that had inhabited his chest stated moving around again as he ran his hand over his hair a few times. The same anxious twitch returning.
"Sounds great, I will meet you in the lobby just outside of the ward. I look forward to talking with you". Dr Levi hung up the phone leaving Danny anxiously pacing next to his desk. Why does the shrink want to see us? Has something changed? Was Steve okay? I should go see Steve, he decided, his anxiety and concern building. He had previously planned to finish off the report for the raid, but Chin could handle that. He sent a message off to the team "Meeting at Queens with Steve's psych 0900 tomorrow morning, meet in the lobby next to the ward" and headed for the parking lot enroute to the hospital.
###
Danny quickly parked and bolted to Steve's room. "Danny, what is going on? Everything alright?" Danny's sudden appearance and mildly panicked state had taken Steve by surprise. He had been listening to an audio book and glanced his partners unscheduled arrival out of his peripheral vision. Pulling off his headphones he strained to look over at a panicked Danny.
Danny headed over to the bed and sat down so that Steve didn't have look sideways at him. He realized that he was panting slightly, his heartrate and probably his already too high blood pressure was raised slightly from the unexpected call. "Yer babe, I am fine" he feigned a relaxed smile, fooling no-one.
"I got a call from the hospital, they are moving you to Tripler on Wednesday. That is great. You can be with all the other military knuckle heads and leave these nice people be". He gestured out the door to the nurses station.
"Yer, Dr Lucas just came and told me. But that is not why you are here... What's wrong?" he knew his partner too well to take that as a reason.
"Well" again, Danny cleared his throat and ran his hand over his hair. "I got a call from the psych, he wants to see the team. I don't know why, but it made me concerned and I wanted to come see you" he smiled weakly "saying that out loud I realise that that does sound a little neurotic, but oh well, I am here now" Danny shrugged.
"Danno I don't know what to tell you" Steve was taken back by his partners slightly erratic behavior and was starting to realise how much strain Danny had been under since the accident, how much strain him being like "this" was causing him. Also, why was Johno the psych meeting with his team?
"So, you are okay Babe? Nothing new?" Danny asked, still looking anxious.
"Well Danno, if you don't count the fact I can't use my legs and my hands are still weird, nothing new" Steve had meant to seem nonchalant, but it came out bitter. "But, hey, at least I can do this now" As he curled his outside fingers in to give Danny a rather pathetic looking raised middle finger.
Danny laughed in response to the gesture. Probably the first laugh he had in three weeks. It was then that the anxious ball of tension that had been sitting around his sternum started to loosen slightly. He sank deeper into the chair.
"You doing okay bud?" Steve asked. Looking over and taking note of how tired his partner looked, dark purple rings seemed to have permanently settled under his eyes and his frown lines looked even deeper than normal. When did he sleep last? Steve wondered.
"I am okay" Danny lied. Like hell he was going to complain about being tired, feeling anxious and not being able to sleep while Steve was lying in that hospital bed. It was the same feelings that he had all those years ago as a junior cop when his partner had been shot. It was awful and he just couldn't shake it.
"Well you look like hell" Steve replied.
"You should see yourself babe. Seriously, you could do with a shave". He retorted. "But really, I haven't slept much. I feel better when I am either with the team or here" he could feel the emotion and pent up stress building again. "I go home and I don't want to be there. I get choked up when people ask how you are going, especially Grace. Even though she is probably way tougher than I am, and I feel so guilty". It was all coming out now – he didn't want to do this but there was no turning back "I keep thinking about that morning, I should have heard that car, I mean they were going fast enough right! I could have stopped you from crossing that street". Danny was starting to hyperventilate. "Now I just don't know what to do. I don't know how to help you and the team looks to me, when it should be you. I am not you and it all just feels so wrong". That ball of energy and emotion in his chest had broken free and was travelling up his throat threatening to come out in gasps and sobs just like the first night when Steve was in the ICU. "Fuck, I am sorry" he stood up and quickly wiped the tears away with the back of his hand. "I am so sorry. I don't know why this is happening" tears kept streaming as Danny tried to calm his breathing.
"Danny!" Steve tried to get his partners attention and pull him out of what was most likely a panic attack. "Danny, look at me." Danny sat down, cheeks pink and eyes still wet with tears. "You don't have to be sorry. None of this is your fault. I am struggling here too. I don't know what's next or what the future looks like. But I need you bud. I really need you." Steve's eyes were tearing up too. "I am scared, and I need backup on this one".
Both men looked at each other, they loved each other like brothers and had been through some tough times. But this was nothing like before. Tears rolled down both their faces as Danny gripped Steve's shoulder. He was in it for the long hall, whatever that future looked like, he was going to be there for Steve.
###
After a bit of a cry last night Danny slept for the first time in three weeks. Sure it was only for three hours but that was more than he had gotten in a long time. He joined the team waiting for Dr Levi in the lobby. They had gone into see Steve earlier but had to leave as the nurses were doing their morning checks. Chin had dropped off the customary donuts and creme puffs for the nurses and said his goodbyes and they were now just standing around holding coffees waiting.
"Are you going to sort out Steve's things for Tripler or do you want me to?" Kono, clearly sick of the long silence, asked Danny. She hated being around the hospital.
"It's fine, I got it. Steve gave me some pretty strict instructions - including a "load list" he had me write down" he pulled out his notebook and gestured at the list. "I will go over to his place this afternoon and sort it out then meet him over at Tripler around lunch".
As they were talking Dr Levi walked over. He was a tall, dark haired man with long graceful limbs and a calm, friendly face. "Good morning, I am Dr Levi, Lieutenant Commander McGarrett's psychologist. Thank you all for meeting with me. Please come this way" he gestured down the hall.
Not the family room! Danny thought seeing flash back to the meeting with his surgeon when he didn't know if his best friend was going to live of die. His heartrate began to speed up.
Thankfully Dr Levi directed them into what was most likely his office filled with two couches and a large desk. The three Five-0 members sat down as directed.
"What I wanted to talk to you about was how you were coping. I know I am not your psych, but I can see that you are a close knit team and the accident will be affecting you whether you are aware of it yet of not. If you are not coping then it is really hard for you to support Steve. So, if you are not sleeping, feeling angry or anxious or even just feeling listless you really should talk to someone. It doesn't have to be me or even the HPD psych but it is important". As he was talking all three were ticking off the symptoms that Dr Levi just described in their heads as things they had felt over the past three weeks.
"Now for Steve" Dr Levi continued "after an injury such as the one he has just sustained it is normal to grieve. It sounds strange but its a way of coming to terms with a dramatic change". He looked at the team sitting on the couches "he will seem different, maybe angry or at times even depressed but with your support he should come to accept his injury and adjust". They all nodded, there was no doubt in any of their minds that they were sticking with him through this. This was their Ohana and they were going to be ready for the long road ahead.