Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, or any properties in this work that I did not make myself.

Harold of Konoha

Chapter thirty-five: Are you for real? (AKA He was Brainwashed and Crazy this whole time?!)

Harold Fisher, an older Jonin-ranked ninja of the village of Konohagakure, along with his twelve-year-old grandnephew Haru Uchiha, who had recently been promoted to chunnin, had driven into the aforementioned village after they returned from a trip that Harold had to take outside of the village. (1) Haru had to come along because his parents were both busy with work, and all the other adults in Haru's family were otherwise unavailable.

Harold's car pulled up to the house where Harold and Sophia, Harold's beloved wife of many years, lived with one another. The two guys got out of Harold's car, with Haru stretching his arms up into the air after he closed the passenger side door. "Mmm! It is great to be back home here in Konoha," the Uchiha youth remarked. Looking over to his granduncle, Haru continued, "It was real nice of you to let your student borrow that awesome guitar of yours, Uncle Harold."

"Well she had to put on a show," Harold remarked as he gestured for Haru to follow him into the Fisher household. After the two of them reached the front door, the Fisher patriarch continued, "And what better way to put on a show than to-"

"Harold, dude!" the familiar voice of Inoichi Yamanaka called out, interrupting Harold and prompting both Harold and Haru to turn their attention to the living room. There, they both saw the aforementioned Inoichi, Harold's closest friend, sitting on the couch next to Tsume Inuzuka, another of Harold's closest friends. Sitting on the floor next to the end of the sofa where Tsume sat was Kuromaru, Tsume's Ninkin.

In a plush leather armchair on the sofa's right (if you sat on the sofa and faced forward) was Sophia, Harold's wife and the grandaunt of Haru. However, in the recliner on the sofa's left sat one of the absolute last people who Harold ever wanted to see again; Katasuke Tono, the ninja science guy who had caused no end of trouble for Harold and those the Fisher patriarch held dear to his heart.

Pointing dramatically at Katasuke, Harold exclaimed, "Haru, use Chidori!" (2)

"That would be a no, young man," Kuromaru said to the Uchiha youth, who was already about halfway through weaving the handsigns for the jitsu taught to him by his father. Looking over to Harold, Kuromaru said, "Look, Harold. I understand why you would order your grandnephew to attack Katasuke, given the guy's history. But he's actually here on orders from the Hokage."

Getting up from where he sat on the sofa with Tsume, Inoichi said, "Yeah, Harold. As strange as it is, this was an order given to me, Tsume and Kuromaru by my son. Naruto agreed to add you to the team since we knew you were coming back to Konoha sometime early in the morning."

Giving his closest friend a curious look, Harold asked while gesturing to Katasuke, "And what does this fat girl's fart of a bastard have to do with our mission?"

"Harold, dear," Sophia began in an understanding tone, "You might not believe this, but Katasuke wasn't a bad person. At least knowingly and or willingly."

"She's right, dude," Tsume said while jerking a thumb at Harold's wife, "The bros working in Inoichi's department just found out that Katasuke was actually brainwashed."

The look of confusion on Harold's face upon hearing Tsume's explanation could not be mistaken for anything else. "Brainwashed?" the Fisher patriarch repeated.

"Exactly," Kuromaru began to explain, "Apparently, sometime before Haru saw Natsu for the first time, Katasuke was kidnapped by Kumo ninja and placed under genjitsu in an effort to spy on the workings of Konoha before he was let go. After this brainwashing genjitsu had been discovered, it was broken, effectively restoring Katasuke to his true self."

Gesturing to Katasuke, Harold said to his friends, "And Lord Sixth wants us to do…what with this guy, exactly?"

"Reintegrate him into Konoha society would be my guess, Uncle Harold," Haru remarked, drawing confirming nods from Harold's friends and Sophia.

"It's not going to be a very easy road," Inoichi began with a mild hint of warning in his tone, "Given that a lot of people here in Konoha aren't exactly happy with the dude. In fact, I'm pretty sure that I'm not the only person currently in this room who is not fond of Katasuke due to all of the bullcrap he pulled while he was being a fartknocker." To further drive Inoichi's point home, everyone in the room aside from Katasuke raised a hand; Kuromaru waved his left front paw in the air in front of him a bit.

After everyone lowered their hands (or paw), Inoichi continued, "My point exactly. But even so, Naruto wouldn't have given us the job of trying to help Katasuke clean his mess up if we didn't have the confidence of the Konoha higher-ups in regards to clearing this mission."

"Actually," Kuromaru said as he turned his head to face the Yamanaka patriarch, "Naruto gave us the mission because we were literally the only team willing to take it. We were the last team that was asked, but all other teams before us declined because none of them were willing to work with Katasuke."

"By the time this mission reached us," Tsume commented in a casual tone, "The mission's reward payout had been boosted up by fifty percent of what it started out as." (3)

Harold looked at his friends for a few seconds, then looked to Katasuke for a few seconds, and shifted back and forth between looking at the two sides, humming in a contemplative tone the whole time. After he had finished looking back and forth between his friends and Katasuke, the Fisher patriarch turned his attention to Haru. "Lil' dude," Harold began, "Can you let your folks know that my friends and I will be busy with a mission for a while?"

"Got it, Uncle Harold," Haru replied before he took his leave. After the Uchiha youth had left, Harold turned his attention back to Katasuke.

"Now let me make a few points first, you acidic plume of urine," Harold began as he pointed to the scientist ninja in a condemning manner, "Just because you had your brains scrambled by those assholes over in Kumogakure does NOT mean you'll be let off the hook for all of the crap you had pulled."

Holding up his hands in a gesture of admitting defeat, Katasuke replied, "I understand full well."

Lowing the hand that he had been using back to his side, Harold remarked while giving Katasuke a leering look of suspicion, "…Alright. That'll have to do." Looking to his friends with a more relaxed look, Harold asked, "So dudes, when we start?"

"Right now, actually," Tsume remarked as she, Kuromaru and Katasuke stood up, although Katasuke stood up about a few seconds after the Inuzuka matriarch and her Ninkin companion had stood up. Gesturing for everyone else to follow her, Tsume said, "Well come on, people! Vámonos!" (4)

And so, with Katasuke at their side, Harold and company proceeded to go about their mission. The first place that they stopped off at was the residence of Neji, Tenten and their daughter Tenji. When they party first arrived, only Tenten was home; although the weapons expert still had a little bit of a belly, she was nowhere near as fat as she used to be, a clear testament that the dance-based workout that Harold and his friends had started Tenten on was having results. In fact, from the looks of things, Tenten was actually really close to achieving a healthy weight for a woman of her age and height. (5)

"What the hell is this asshole doing here?!" Tenten exclaimed in a clearly unhappy tone as she pointed at Katasuke.

"Look Tenten, here's the TLDR," Kuromaru replied, "Katasuke's actually good, it's just that Kumogakure had scrambled his brains."

"Yeah, and the boys and I here were given the mission of reintegrating him into Konoha society, since the boys in Inoichi's department had undone the brain scrambling," Harold added.

Tenten, although still looking like she had very little trust in the scientist ninja, visibly relaxed a bit. Crossing her arms over her chest, Tenten said, "…Fine. But that still doesn't explain why you guys decided to bring him by here specifically."

"Well we figured that to help along the plan of trying to reintegrate Katasuke into Konoha society, we'd take him around and explain a few things to various people," Tsume explained, "Maybe have him give little gifts to particular people he had personally wronged if it comes down to it. The reason why the boys and I brought Katasuke here first is because we actually wanted to check up on you and make sure you're sticking to your exercising."

With a hint of self-amusement entering her expression, Tenten said, "Funny you should mention that. I'm actually really close to being roughly the same weight as Sakura and the others. I figure that sticking to the exercise regimen you all put me on for a couple more weeks ought to get me down to a perfect weight."

"Oh, you only have a little more weight left to lose?" Katasuke remarked, "Well if you want to hurry up the process, some of the boys in the scientific division have come up with some-"

"As tempting as that is," Tenten said as she held up a hand in a gesture to get Katasuke to stop, cutting him off midsentence, "I'm going to stick with dancing away what little excess weight I still have left."

Gesturing to Tenten, Inoichi said to Katasuke, "She's got a point, dude. Besides, more often than not, trying to solve every problem with science usually creates more problems than there would have been if science was never gotten involved in the first place…"

(FLASHBACK)

Inoichi, along with Shikaku, Choza, Shikaru, Choba and Natsu were in a lab somewhere in Konoha. All of them were wearing white lab coats and safety goggles. The kids were running around in a panic screaming while the grandpas were facing an oven in the lab; the oven's door was open, and black smoke was billowing out and rising up while some doughy blob was oozing out and spilling onto the floor. The fire alarm and the sprinklers were also going off.

The grandpas were throwing kunai at the blob aside from Inoichi, who was using a double-barreled shotgun to blast the ooze. As the grandpas were attacking the oozing blob, Shikaku screamed at Inoichi, "You know, this never would have happened in the first place if you had bothered to READ LABELS BEFOREHAND!"

"Well how the hell was I supposed to know that what I added wasn't yeast?" Inoichi shouted back at his friend and in-law, "It looked like frigg'en yeast!" After a spurting sound came from the oozing blob, Inoichi and Shikaku both turned their attention back to the blob. "No, bad ooze monster!" Inoichi shouted as he pumped his shotgun before firing another round into the ooze, "You're supposed to be bread now!"

(FLASHBACK OVER)

After reminiscing about his failed instance with science, Inoichi let out a bit of a chuckle before he said in a nostalgic tone, "Yeah." Looking back to Katasuke, the Yamanaka patriarch added in his regular tone, "Long story short, Tenten will not be using science to lose the rest of her excess weight. Also, I don't think that I ought to be trusted with any sort of science anymore."

"Wow, Inoichi," Kuromaru remarked in a dry tone, "You actually said something smart for once." (6)

Clapping his hands together, Harold said, "Anywho, we ought to continue Katasuke's tour of goodwill around Konoha. We got a lot of people to check in with!"

The next stop that Harold and company took Katasuke to what the Hyuga clan estate, where the group met with Hiashi Hyuga and Natsu, the latter currently staying at the estate with her maternal grandfather. The Uzumaki/Hyuga girl was wearing a baggy red and black-stripped long-sleeved shirt under a baggy light pale orange t-shirt, a pair of baggy tan cargo shorts held up with a belt, and resting around her neck was her Konoha ninja headband. There was also some bandaging around both of Natsu's wrists. Judging by the tired look on Natsu's face, she was not feeling all that well.

"Boys, Tsume," the Hyuga clan leader began in a firm tone that was mildly strained. Pointing the end of his cane at Katasuke, Hiashi continued, "Care to explain why you thought that bringing this charlatan to my clan's estate building was a good idea, especially since my granddaughter is staying here after she had been released from Konoha General following treatment?" Giving Inoichi a mildly firmer look, Hiashi added, "You of all people ought to know better, Inoichi."

"Hiashi, dude, bro, I understand how you feel completely," Inoichi replied in an understanding tone, "Believe you me, I would never consider bringing Katasuke around these parts if it wasn't for the fact that he's actually innocent due to his brains having been scrambled by Kumogakure ninja trying to spy on the goings-on of Konoha. The scrambling was uncovered and undone by the boys in my department, and now the dudes and I are taking Katasuke around to help him get back in touch with Konoha at large."

The Hyuga clan leader gave Inoichi and his friends a stern look of consideration before switching over to glare at Katasuke, the Hyuga clan leader's expression never changing. After a few seconds of mulling things over in his mind, Hiashi said, "…Fine. But one wrong move out of Katasuke, and I WILL be running him off of Hyuga clan property."

Holding up a shopping bag that he was carrying, Katasuke said to Hiashi, "Lord Hiashi, I can understand that you and many others in Konoha are upset with what I had done while I was under the effects of brainwashing genjitsu from Kumo shinobi. But I do intend to right any and all wrongs, at least as much as I can."

Casually pointing at the shopping bag that Katasuke was holding up, Hiashi asked, "And you suppose that bribing me would help smooth my feathers?"

"Actually, this is a small gift that I had purchased for your and Inoichi's granddaughter here," Katasuke explained, "Inoichi had informed me that Natsu is still trying to get back on her feet after having gotten out of the hospital, and that she likes collecting plushies, so after I found this in a store on the way here, I thought she'd like it."

After he explained himself, Katasuke handed the shopping bag to Natsu, who took it in a tired (somewhat) manner. She reached into the bag, felt around for the plushy inside, grabbed it, and pulled it out, revealing it to be a roughly eight-inch-tall plushy of…

…Agumon.

When the adults all saw the plushy that Katasuke had gotten for the Uzumaki/Hyuga girl, all of them went wide-eyed with shock. Natsu, who had a tired, somber expression all of so far, also went wide-eyed out of surprise. Closing his eyes, Inoichi said as he pinched the bridge of his nose, "You got her an Agumon plushy?" The Yamanaka patriarch then let out an exasperated sigh, denoting some degree of frustration.

"What," the scientist ninja replied in a mildly worried tone, "Does she not like it?"

…

In an alleyway somewhere nearby, Haru was playing street hockey with Bankai, Shikaru, Choba, Shibi, Tenji, Tenlee and Gai Lee. Hogato, with Bankai's Ninkin Rojomaru sitting next to him, were keeping an eye on things along the side of one of the fences. As Haru scored a goal against Choba, everyone heard what sounded like a panicked man screaming in fear as he was running away from something.

Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked in the appropriate direction; as such, they saw Katasuke running in their direction, screaming as if his life would be in danger if he didn't run. A second or so later, Haru and everyone else saw why the scientist ninja was running; the entirety of the Hyuga clan (7) was chasing after Katasuke, screaming angrily as they tried to chase him down. Leading the lot was Hiashi himself, who had familiar Hyuga faces such as both his daughters, his nephew Neji, Natsu the Hyuga maid and clan idiot Ko right behind him.

"To the sides of the alleyway, everyone!" Haru screamed, cuing all of his friends to get to the sides of the alleyway, flattening themselves against the fences that made up the alleyway's walls as they allowed Katasuke, followed very shortly by all of the Hyuga clan, to run past unblocked. After the scientist ninja and his Hyuga pursuers had passed them, Haru and company all went back to their original positions in their alleyway street hockey game.

"…What the hell was that?" Bankai asked rhetorically, his tone one of subdued shock. All he got in response was a similarly confused shrug from Haru.

After they had somehow managed to diffuse the situation Katasuke got himself into, Harold and company retrieved the scientist ninja and continued with their mission of reintegrating him into Konoha society. "Okay, we're going to have to leave the Hyuga clan alone for a while," Inoichi remarked in a mildly cautious tone as he and the others walked and talked, "But other than that I think that we're making great progress."

"Oh hells yeah, dude," Harold replied, "In fact, I think we just have to make one or two more good stops before we report our current progress to your son." Turning his attention to Katasuke, the Fisher patriarch said, "Katasuke, I hope you've packed your bags, because the next stop that the boys here and I are taking you on is to go meet with the Uchiha clan!"

"Wait a minute," the scientist ninja began in a mildly confused tone, "I thought that the Uchiha clan was mostly wiped out, and that only Sasuke and his son are left."

"You're forgetting my niece Sakura, who is Uchiha by marriage," Harold began, "And I'm also throwing in my younger sister Mebuki, her husband Kizashi, my wife Sophia and myself since we're all related to the Uchiha." (8)

Nodding in agreement, Inoichi said, "Yeah, dude. You have just been invited to dinner at the Uchiha residence! Don't you feel flattered?"

The seniors proceeded to escort Katasuke to the next stop on their tour, with Kuromaru muttering under his breath, "Thank goodness there were never any actual Uchihas who acted like Harold."

…

To say that Katasuke felt nervous was a bit of an understatement. After all, he was currently seated at the dinner table of the Uchiha clan…and their various relatives. Since none of them were in the Uchiha clan or otherwise related to them, Inoichi, Tsume and Kuromaru went to a nearby bar to knock back a few while they waited for Harold to get back with the scientist ninja. "Well, Katasuke," Sasuke began in a mildly stern tone after swallowing a forkful of food, "It was thoughtful of you to bring something for everyone here to have for dessert."

"Umm, well, it wouldn't do if I came to dinner at someone else's house empty-handed," the scientist ninja replied in a mildly nervous tone.

"Anywho, everyone," Harold said to everyone at the table as a whole in an effort to lower the tension in the air and break the ice, "Anything interesting happen today?"

Casually raising a hand about halfway up, Sakura said, "I had to do some minor surgery on someone from the Inuzuka clan after they dragged someone visiting from the Land of Soda into an impromptu street fight." With a casual shrug, Sakura continued, "It was nothing major, as they were in and out in less than an hour. As for the person visiting from the Land of Soda, I was told that Ino was assigned to look after them."

"Wait a minute," Katasuke began, sounding mildly confused, "Why would a shinobi of Konoha drag someone visiting from a minor nation the Land of Fire is allied with into a fight?"

Turning to face the scientist ninja, Sakura explained, "The visiting person is a member of the Nekozuka clan. The Inuzuka and Nekozuka clans generally do not like each other all that much, seldom ever getting along on anything for any length of time." (9)

"Well one thing is for certain," Mebuki remarked, a hint of confidence in her tone, "There's no way that it could have been that Kiba fellow that you and your husband are friends with, Sakura. After all, isn't he married to a woman from the Nekozuka clan?"

With a bit of a 'how do I put this' look on her face, Sakura replied, "Ehh…yes mom, but Kiba actually is the person from the Inuzuka clan that I did minor surgery on. I was just trying to keep from using names to protect peoples' privacy."

Kizashi, with a surprised look on his face, remarked, "Well, that certainly doesn't sound right. I mean, what would Kiba's wife say if she heard he started a fight with someone from her clan?"

"Sakaki is actually the reason why Kiba got into a fight with that Nekozuka ninja visiting from the Land of Soda," Sakura replied as she began to explain, "Apparently, that Nekozuka kunoichi knew Sakaki from childhood, and she cracked a joke about Sakaki being quote 'freakishly tall for a girl' unquote, and it made Sakaki uncomfortable. Kiba got pissed, so he went and punched the visiting Nekozuka kunoichi in the face." With a shrug that was more or less indifferent, the Uchiha matriarch added, "Things just tumbled out of control from there."

"Wait a minute," Haru began, "Bankai's dad punched a lady in the face?"

"Unfortunately, yes," Sakura replied, "This Nekozuka kunoichi, who Sakaki told me in named Tomo, always had a habit of taunting her clan fellows, usually getting away with it because she was favored by a lesser member of the Nekozuka clan's higher ups." After eating a forkful of her dinner, Sakura continued, "But when this Tomo lady tried to pull a stunt like that here in Konoha on your friend's mom, your friend's dad wasn't going to stand for it. Thankfully, everything was able to be settled without getting the authorities involved."

"That would be like if Naruto's sister-in-law Hanabi taunted cadet branch Hyugas and got away with it because she was favored by one of the main branch's elders," Sasuke remarked. (10)

Gently shaking her head, Sakura said, "Actually, that analogy would work better if you took out Hanabi and put Ko in instead. This Tomo lady has very little clout in the Nekozuka."

"What kind of minor surgery did you do on Kiba, might I ask?" Katasuke asked.

With a mildly annoyed-sounding sigh, the Uchiha matriarch replied, "I had to forcefully yank a shinobi sandal that was stuck firmly up into Kiba's, umm…anus hole. Then I had to use Mystical Palm on Kiba's anus since I saw some…umm…look, I'd rather not talk about what I had to do for Kiba while Haru is within earshot." After shuddering a bit, Sakura finished by saying, "From what Ino told me about the work she helped to do to heal Tomo, Tomo came out of her scuffle with Kiba a little bit worse than he did." (11)

Sophia, with a bit of a worried look on her face, remarked, "Sakura, dear, there seems to be an awful lot of cases at Konoha General from what you've been telling us as of late where surgery had to be done to take something out of someone's rear end."

Sighing in a resigned tone, Sakura remarked, "It's actually the most common kind of surgery that's been performed at Konoha General so far this year."

"Forgive me if saying this is rude or out of place," Katasuke began as he spoke to Sakura, "But this sounds like something that might have to be studied. It would make of an interesting case study, given the content and how often it tends to come up."

"Unfortunately, I have to agree," Sakura replied, "I say unfortunately because it involves things that have been removed from peoples' anuses."

"Heh," Haru chuckled to himself after eating some of his dinner, "Butt study."

After the Uchiha-Haruno-Fisher family dinner, Harold took Katasuke with him over to the bar where Inoichi, Tsume and Kuromaru was waiting. The two men walked up to the bar, with Harold getting the attention of his friends as he and Katasuke approached. "The dinner with my family was a success," the Fisher patriarch announced.

"Did you guys have fun?" Inoichi asked as he gestured for Harold and Katasuke to sit down at the bar with him and Tsume. Harold and Katasuke joined the rest of the party at the bar so that Harold sat next to Inoichi and Katasuke sat next to Harold.

With a shrug, Harold replied, "Oh yeah, dinner with my family was great, although the main topic of the night ended up becoming how Konoha General has seen a vastly increased number of incidents in recent times where things had to be taken out of-"

"You know, I'm surprised that your folks were actually willing to discuss such a topic during dinner," Katasuke remarked, the somewhat hasty hint in his tone being a signal that he wasn't all that comfortable in Harold continuing with his current trail of thought.

"Ehh, it was just talk about Sakura's work at Konoha General, as well as points related to said talk," the Fisher patriarch remarked. Gently shaking his head, Harold continued, "But that's all beside the point. Tomorrow, the boys here and I have to take you to go meet with Lord Sixth, as we have to give him our first progress report."

"Make sure you behave yourself for Inoichi's son, dude," Tsume said to the scientist ninja before she downed the rest of the beer in her mug. The Inuzuka matriarch then ordered a refill, and after that the seniors and Katasuke spent an hour or two at the bar, just talking and having a good time. Katasuke, for his part, found himself feeling more and more at ease, giving him hope that his efforts to try and make amends for what he did while under Kumo influence would pay off.

The following morning, Harold and his friends took Katasuke with them to go visit the Hokage office building, where they went up to Naruto's office to give him their first progress report. Looking over the file that he held, Naruto then looked up from the file and over to where Katasuke stood. Harold and his group stood in front of Naruto's desk, while Sasuke, Shikamaru and Shino all stood off to the right hand (if you're seated at Naruto's desk and looking forward) side of the office.

Giving Katasuke a wry look, Naruto remarked dryly, "…It says here that you looked mildly uncomfortable while having dinner with Sasuke's family."

"Well I was nervous due to being seated at the same table as the Uchiha clan, who have something of a reputation of being formidable," Katasuke remarked, "Then I was a bit unnerved when the conversation during dinner suddenly became about things having to be removed from peoples' butts."

"In his defense," Sasuke said as he looked over to Naruto, "It's rather understandable that Katasuke would be creeped out about Sakura going on about all the times that she had to do surgery to take things out of peoples' butts."

Nodding a bit to his advisor, Naruto said, "Ehh, I'll give you that." To Harold and his group, Naruto remarked, "Anyway, overall you guys have done a great job at helping Katasuke get reintegrated into Konoha society thus far. You guys will be relieved for now, but you'll be called upon when you have to do another round of taking Katasuke around Konoha."

"Well alright," Harold said as he pumped a fist into the air, "We did it!"

"Lo hicimos, we did it!" (12) Tsume cheered as she and Inoichi also pumped fists into the air.

END, CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

Author's notes;

1. For more on this, see chapters 19, 20 and 21 of 'Ten reasons'.

2. What level is Haru at? Or did he learn it through breeding?

3. This was kind of necessary to entice Konoha shinobi to take the mission.

4. …Tsume is an explorer? Huh, I legit did not know that.

5. Give it one or two chapters, folks.

6. Given Inoichi's past, can anyone blame Kuromaru?

7. Aside from Hogato, Natsu, Tenji, and non-Hyugas related by marriage.

8. Technically, Harold's not wrong.

9. The two clans tend to call truces for events such as pet adoption fairs.

10. He can remember Hanabi's name just fine, but always blanks on Hinata's name.

11. Tomo had TWO shinobi sandals in the same place where Kiba only had one.

12. I guess that she really IS an explorer.

Hoo boy, it is great to be back at writing chapters for this story! Anyway, this chapter is similar to the series proper in the sense that Katasuke was doing bad things but was later revealed to have acted in such a manner due to being under genjitsu. I decided to give it a personalized spin by adapting things to the setting of the Harold Fisher story. Anywho, the next time that Harold and friends will have an adventure, they'll be investigating an old cold case that has had Konoha stumped for quite some time.

…Given that Harold and friends are going to be utilizing the Well of Time in their efforts to try and solve the chapter's problem, things can only go oh so well.