*Trigger warning for suicide, no specifics but it is implied*
It's nice to see that even with all the crap I've been going through its still snowing. Even if I get left behind, life, the world goes on. Maybe that's why I'm finally going to end it. I just don't want to do it anymore.
What?
Life. Living. Waking up every day just to curl up in my bed at the end of it all.
Why?
I thought I could take it, if I just kept going. I wish I was strong enough to but there's nothing left for me.
What do you mean?
Every time I try to stand back up and just go through my day, they just don't leave me alone. It'll never stop.
Okay. So how?
Something quick. A bullet to the heart, I guess. That sort of irony, maybe it'll get a laugh.
Why that?
Like I said, quick, gives them something to talk about. 'She just couldn't even die without being a little attention hog.' They're going to say it anyways, why not give them something to talk about.
So that's your reason.
What?
The girls at school.
No that's not really my reason. They make it hard but it's not them berating me that hurts to most.
Well… what is?
My parents are gone, my sister too. I'm alone and for some reason they still feel the need to hunt me… but they're right. I couldn't save them, I'm nothing.
This doesn't have to be it. You can move on from this.
No. I can't. I have no one. I have nothing. Even the last feeling I had left, my pain, is dulling. Cuts no longer hurt. Nightmares can't scare me. I have-I am… nothing.
There is still happiness out there.
How can I be happy if I can't feel anything. I'm useless, no, I'm worse than useless. It's better this way.
If you're really going to do this-
I am.
Would you take a second chance, if you knew, defiantly, that you could help others?
Yes, but that doesn't change my choice.
Of course not.
Just, one thing. Can you, whoever you are, can you help others before they get to my point. Can you help them?
Unfortunately not, but maybe you can.
Like I could ever. Thanks for talking to me though. I think I can leave having had a decent conversation.
Hey, are you still there?
I guess not.
I don't know why my hands are shaking, this is what I want. Yes, this is what I-
(A/N I'm reworking my previous stories, going to try to update here consistently and again, I do not condone suicide. If you are hurting please reach out to someone and find a safe space. Love you all -JJ)