Alternative Route Taken

by Castlefan6

Authors Note: Another What If based on the episode, A Deadly Game, what happened if Rick didn't return to the precinct after leaving and this was really their last case. What would each other's lives have looked like? The story starts with Canon dialog, courtesy of Dust Jackets Dot Com, then goes quickly and completely AU. The journey continues with a new Kate and Rick, hope you enjoy!

I don't own Castle; I use the characters for amusement purposes only, except the ones I create.

Previously

"Rick, I'm sorry I pushed, but I wanted you to know you left a lot of friends at the 12th and as screwed up as Beckett is, she cares for you Rick, she really does. I'm glad you answered her letter, although I'm sure it wasn't what she wanted to hear.

"Oh, just for the record, she's been out twice, both times with a Doctor she met during a motorcycle run, and well, once she saw you and Gina at the club, let's just say the good doctor decided not to make any more house calls," Roy said searching his eyes for any emotion,

"Well Roy, I'm sorry for her bad luck, but she'll have another candidate lined up soon, she's never been short of men wanting to take her out, she just has to decide what she wants before she ruins someone else.

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Chapter 17

Beckett's Apartment

Saturday Book Launch of Raging Heat

Kate's POV

Kate had sworn to herself that she wasn't going to watch any TV that night, just in case they covered the book launch, if she didn't know what she missed, she wouldn't hurt so much. She went as far as hiding the TV remote in her bedroom while she sat in the living room, sipping on her wine and reading Ravishing Heat for the 5th time, searching for any nugget, any semblance of her and Rick.

Eventually, the wine or her desire to know what was going on in a certain writer's life overtook her willpower and she retrieved the remote. It took another 25 minutes of internal arguments of the pros and cons of knowing and or if they even covered the launch before she thought, screw It and powered the TV on to catch the late-night version of Entertainment Tonight.

She was already disappointed when she found absolutely zero references to her and Rick's actual encounters, she did find some exchanges of good-natured kidding between Rook and Nikki, but it felt like a slap across the face when she realized the passage was almost verbatim the exchange he and Roz had exchanged.

She recalled the conversation about the dolls he bought, and Roz telling him she would be his doll, anytime. She had surprises as well, as he opened each doll which contained another one smaller inserted inside. She had just rolled her eyes at him, almost like he were a child where Roz actively pursued what she wanted.

She did it by accident, she really hadn't wanted to, but she turned the volume up as she recognized the Captain and all the gang getting the red-carpet treatment. God, what the hell did Karpowski wear, my god Kate could see her nipples from across the room, talk about self-promotion. She felt herself getting a little angry and jealous, then checked herself you don't have the right Kate, stop. They were covering the entire process, the reporter using the beautiful ladies, including Roz and Ann as backdrops as he began his report,

"A little bit of a bombshell tonight at the launch of Richard Castle's next novel, the second in the Nikki Heat series, which in itself was a surprise. It has been documented that Mr. Castle is flying Mercy Flights out of southern Florida and other locations to areas who are in desperate need of aid. It was a surprise when Gina Castle Cowell announced this launch, and then tonight she and Mr. Castle's publicist Paula Haas went to great lengths to explain the absence of Detective Katherine Beckett. Let's listen to the official statement", he paused and the screen came on with Gina speaking.

Gina's beginning announcement, verified by Paula was aired in its entirety

"Thanks, Gina, we want to thank Detective Kate Beckett for her assistance in the Nikki Heat series and wish her continued luck and success. She has made it clear that she doesn't enjoy being in the spotlight, so to honor her wishes, there will be no further information shared about Detective Beckett, allowing her private life to remain private.

"We wish to remind all, that Rick Castle has drawn on his experiences from multiple members of NYPD's 12th precinct, who are in attendance tonight. You can recognize these guests with the American flag and number 12 on their name tags. Please thank a cop tonight before you leave, back to you Gina."

Kate's tears fell, he had actually replaced her as his muse, but she was Nikki, he was Rook, how was he going to pull that off. Her answer came a moment later when they showed the part where he asked Ann and Roz to stand, he thanked them both, in public. God, WHY, WHY Rick?

Then her words came rushing back to her, "You want him, you can have him" she had said it not once but several times, in front of many others, including both Roz and Ann. What the hell did she expect? That no one else would see the qualities of the man as she did, why did she try to hide or deny it?

The gift to Gina hit her especially hard, she closed her eyes and remembered the look in Gina's eyes as Rick held her tightly on the dance floor, her head on his shoulder, any fool could see she still loved him. Rick had always said he loved her, but not in a marrying kind of way, well, what other kinds of love was there, it sure looked like they both were in love.

God, what a beautiful gift, so original, a gold charm, duplicating the cover of each novel they worked on, how Castle. It was just like Rick to create the perfect gift for those he felt special in his life, just as he only dedicated books to those special someone's. With that thought, she took a sip of wine, and let the tears she had been holding in stream down her face.

She thought of Paul, she knew that he was only a stand-in, a replacement for who she really wanted, and it was good he called it off when he did. It saved her from stringing him along, eventually hurting him as he already had been. At least she dodged the bullet with his partner Josh, what an egotistical ass, she thought. Wait, was that how Rick viewed her, was she the female version of Josh to Rick? God no wonder he couldn't get away fast enough.

She dug out her first letter to him and read it again, Stupid, Stupid, Stupid she repeated over and over again. She decided to make a list of the behaviors she had displayed, leaving all blame out of the equation, and try to get back to Dr. Burke. He was emphatic when he told her to begin to own her own actions or find another therapist, quite a shock from this gentle human, so she must have really hit a nerve with him.

She had apologized to Rick, he finally had answered and she had to accept his forgiveness, even as insincere as she thought it to be, she could only control her actions. Perhaps in time, she would write another letter but for now, her job was to fix herself. She played back scenes with her co-workers and didn't like what she saw or heard, she had to change that, quickly. So, the list began,

Xx

Rick, Alexis, and Gina returned home and collapsed once they were inside the door, Alexis retreated to her room, while Gina and Rick passed out on the couch holding each other. Alexis covered them with a blanket and thought, what the hell is marrying love if this isn't, but didn't press it.

A few hours later, Gina awoke and gently prodded Rick awake, helping him to his bedroom, then into his pajamas. She knew his neck and back would kill him for a week if she let him sleep on the sofa. It wasn't the first time she had undressed and dressed him. She finally got him into bed and was surprised when he pulled her in on top of him. It didn't take more than one kiss for old habits to kick in, or at least start to until she stopped.

"Rick, remember you told me that we wouldn't make love because if I ever found someone I was interested in, I wouldn't pursue it if we were sleeping together." She said, nervously,

"Yeah, I remember Genes, I'm sorry, I guess I was just overcome with a ton of good memories, I was out of line, but you have to know to me you're still one of the sexiest women alive. I take it you've found someone that has awakened your interest in dating again," Rick said gently,

"Well, maybe, it's early but yeah there is some interest Rick, the first time in a very long time. When you told me, we shouldn't sleep together I thought it was a load of bull, but you were right, you knew me so well.

"I would feel like I cheated on you if I dated, and on him, if we slept together, oh you have to know how badly I want you right now, how badly I've wanted you since we parted, but you were right sweetheart. Thank You." She kissed him gently, placed two aspirins and a bottle of water on the nightstand, and quietly left the room.

Rick stared at the ceiling for a few moments, he was happy for Gina, sure he loved her, probably always would but she deserved someone who was in love with her. He had a few days then he had to report back, they had been warned that when they got back it was going to be tough assignments coming up. He turned over to his side, blew a kiss to Gina still in her wedding dress in the picture, closed his eyes, and fell back to sleep.

The next morning Rick awoke at 3:57 AM, head pounding and throat dry as a dessert, he turned, saw the aspirins and bottle of water, took a couple of tablets and downed the bottle. He was back asleep in a matter of minutes, God Bless Gina, she always did know what he needed.

Xx

He awoke several hours later to hear noise coming from the kitchen, he grabbed his robe and strode silently to the door, to see Gina and Alexis working in tandem preparing breakfast. Well, if anything came out of the marriage, it was the relationship between Alexis and the woman she called Mom, and who in every sense of the word was indeed just that. He walked out and said sleepily,

"Good morning Ladies, sleep well?"

"Not as good as you and Mom last night, you two were passed out on the couch so I covered you and went to bed," Alexis said

"Well, your Mom must have woke up and helped me to bed, I still don't remember changing clothes but anyway, she left me some aspirins and water that she knew I would need." He said, Gina, leaned in and kissed him sweetly,

"I'm glad you found them, you are a bear when you have a headache first thing in the morning, and we want to enjoy the time we have left with you." Her eyes hid a tear, as she knew her time would soon be coming to an end in the Castle loft. Alexis was graduating in a few months and headed off to college, and any excuse she had to be near the family would be gone.

"Mom, are you OK? I mean you seem sad, Daddy, what did you say, did you upset her?" Alexis saw the tear fall from her eye

"No, no Alexis, your Dad didn't do anything but sweetie you need to sit down, please. Your Dad and I have always talked, you know we love each other, but we haven't made love, well that may sound like too much information but honey, I just need to"

"What she's trying to say Alexis is she's met someone and may start dating again. That doesn't mean she doesn't love us, but she deserves someone who will be In Love with her, we tried baby we did but it has worked out so much better for us all with this arrangement."

Alexis looked shocked, "Mom is that true? Are you going to start seeing someone else? I know Daddy loves you, and you sure as hell love him, so what am I missing?"

"Alexis, I love your Dad, I'll always love him, but as he said, he deserves someone who he falls in love with and so do I. Honey, you don't want to hear this, but you're off to college in a few months so please whoever your Dad chooses, just accept them as you did me, promise?"

"I still don't understand but Mom if this will make you happy, I mean it will won't it?"

"Of course, it will, I'll always be here for you, whenever you need me, it's just that you will be living your life, a wonderfully full life, full of adventures, happiness, and yes sadly your share of tears as well, each of us goes through life, and we all want the same thing someone who will make us complete.

"Let your Dad find that, even if someday it turns out to be someone, you're not fond of now, let him have the freedom to love who his heart leads him to."

"Mom, are you talking about Detective Beckett because if you are, I've already decided, whatever makes Dad happy, even if it's with her, I'll accept her, I was raised to forgive, and really she's only hurt me by hurting Dad, so if he can forgive her, so can I."

"Well, I don't think you need to worry about that, either of you two, but thank you, it's nice to know I have you both in my corner. I don't know if she'll ever be ready for a real relationship, and well, I'm not settling for anyone who won't give me their all, hey let's go to the zoo today"

Typical Rick, change the subject, but they did spend the day at the zoo, as a family taking pictures and Rick making faces at the monkeys. Gina loved times like this, she needed to talk to Alexis one on one, but it would wait.

Rick would be leaving early day after tomorrow, and he wasn't scheduled to be home until Alexis Graduation Ceremony, in two and a half months. Gina knew from how hard Rick was putting on the show, he was worried this time.

When they returned home, Alexis allowed them some private time and went to Paige's home to spend the night, promising to be home for breakfast. Gina watched as Rick walked through his office, almost drinking in each picture, each memento, almost as if he would never see it again.

"Rick, I have the wine poured, would you join me on the couch please, one last time, I promise no funny business" she smiled,

He looked up, gave her a sad smile, "Sure Genes, be right there" as he put the picture of him and Alexis as a little girl back in his top drawer.

He sat down, and Gina handed him his wine, "Rick, I didn't want to make this awkward for us, especially now, it seems you're worried, and that's worrying me. Anything I need to know, and please don't lie to me."

"Hey, Genes, you always could read me like a book, we got word the next few months were going to be tough, so I may not be able to call as often. I know Alexis knows something is up, well you do too, but you know I'd tell you if I could."

"God, no Rick, you didn't you didn't go back to them did you?" She began to cry,

"Hey, hey, you know I can't say anything, but I promise you, I'm coming home, I promise you, OK, no more tears, please? I can't stand to see you cry, God knows how many times I made those tears fall, I don't want you to worry."

"You are a jackass, I said I was going to start dating, not get married, hell, I love you, and last night I kicked myself I wanted you so badly I ache but I thought I would make it harder on you. It doesn't matter what the fucking piece of paper says, I love you Richard Castle, and if you are doing what I think you are doing then I'm going to make love to you.

"Shut up, yes I know what and how this is, please Rick don't make me beg you, I used to just have to flash you some boob or leg and you were all over me. Just like last night you wanted me, God Rick it felt so good to be wanted, to be loved by you. Let me decide if that's enough, please, now make love to me, I want to remember this day with you,"

Rick hadn't said too much, mainly because Gina was kissing him in between her outbursts, and he wanted her, God did he want her. Truthfully, he had for weeks, the night they came home from the club, he almost slipped, and he knew she would have gone along with it.

"Genes, please think is this what you want, I mean I want you I have for weeks, what about the guy,"

"You idiot, there was no guy, I didn't want you to feel guilty leaving me alone if something happened, now take me to bed and make love to me, now" she was showing a hell of a lot more than a flash of boob, and she was still built better than women ten years her junior, God she was hot.

He didn't have to be told twice, and the one thing that had always been in sync with their marriage was their lovemaking. She climaxed three times before he was anywhere near ready to enter,

"Rick, it's been a long-time sweetie, please be gentle, until I tell you differently,"

"I know sweetheart, I know just what and how you want," and he did, over and over. Three sessions later they lay in the covers both staring at the ceiling,

"Genes, are you sorry this happened?" he asked quietly,

"I have to be honest, yes, yes I am. I am so God Damn sorry I didn't fuck your brains out months ago. NO Rick, I'm not sorry, not at all. I hope you're not,"

Her answer came in a moment, but no words were spoken, just the universal language of love.

TBC