Will was the life and soul of the party. He always cheered people up. He made them laugh, feel good about themselves and always gave them a shoulder to cry on. but who was there for him? Nobody! Nobody made him feel good about himself and nobody ever gave him a shoulder to cry on. They all just assumed he was always happy.
Will was far from happy. He watched all his friends get on with their lives, whether it was marriage, babies, promotion or buying a house. Every time someone announced a new stage in their life, he felt a twang of jealousy. Why did he have to be the one by himself?
Then there was the issue with his family All his siblings were married, with kids or engaged. He was the only one without any of that. To top it all off, he was the only single one. Which infuriated him, because he was the oldest. Family events finished him off emotionally, they always ended with him hitting the bottle. Which only made his family judge him even more.
His sister's fiance, always made him feel small. Always taking his siblings out for drinks and completely leaving him out. He always had to be the better uncle to his nephew, showing him up at every single chance. Sure, he doesn't show him up on purpose but it still hurts.
Will felt like the family disappointment. He was pretty sure his parents thought the same. When it was announced that his last sibling was engaged, everyone looked at him like he was an idiot.
Will felt truly alone, the world around him seemed to be succeeding but he was ground to a halt. Unable to move, no matter how hard he tried.
The happy persona was a heavy thing to carry around. Everyday tired him out mentally. He used energy drinks to stay on top of things. He instantly became addicted to them because, with them, he felt human and without them, he couldn't function. Even with the almost overdose of caffeine everyday, he was still tired.
Hitting the clubs every night numbed his pain. Sleeping with random women made him feel wanted and getting drunk made him happy.
Smoking gave him something to do with his hands. Rolling a cigarette gave him an excuse not to look people in the eye and the smoking itself put unwanted people at
arm's length. The nicotine gave him the strength to carry on.
He'd spent so long running from his feelings. He thought travelling around the world would help, but it turned out to be a full circle back into emotional hell.
Will had always dreamed of going somewhere amazing and doing something worthwhile with his life. He felt stuck in a depressive rut, wanting things to change but never having the energy to get up and do it.
Will had never been a bitter person, but lately, he had been getting so angry over the littlest things. Just the other day, he screamed at, broke and threw a coathanger for not coming out of his wardrobe in one motion.
yet despite all that emotional pain and baggage, nobody noticed how unhappy he was...
I'm writing this based on my own feelings.
May turn it into a multichapter. Depending on how well it's received. Thanks for reading. It means more than you'll ever know.