LOVE IT!: Sorry, it was short, I was mainly getting a feel for the story and seeing if people liked it. Well, they do. so, longer chapters! Thanks for your review x
Miss Whitney Bea: Stay tuned x
Guest: Thank you so much for your review! It means a lot. Glad you enjoyed it x
(To get a feel for this bit, listen to 'Daddy' by Coldplay. You won't regret it!)
Will had a complicated relationship with his father. Growing up he never left his side and looked up to him. As he grew older, the father-son bond vanished. When Will was a teenager they fought non-stop until it became impossible for him to trust him. It had now been over a decade since he last hugged him!
His dad worked a lot during his childhood. He always came home stressed and then left again to run the local cub-scout group. He appeared to spend more time with other people's kids than with his own. Will didn't notice at the time, but as he grew older it hit him like a tonne of bricks. Why did his dad want them and not him?
Daddy, are you out there?
Daddy, won't you come and play?
Daddy, do you not care? Is there nothing that you want to say?
Little things his dad would say, still get to him as an adult. 'Oh, you'll never eat all that' 'You'll never finish that' 'Stop being selfish'! — He was always afraid that his father would yell at him. No, he wasn't abusive, but the things he did, hurt mentally and always would.
When it was just them in the house, his dad would be all quiet and engrossed in his laptop or the TV. As soon as his other children arrived with their partners, he brightened and laughed with them. Ironically, he didn't allow Will to put the TV on when they were over.
Back on the 'sister's fiance fiasco' His father appeared to get on better with him and act differently whenever he was around. Like he deserved more love and attention than Will did.
Will could never tell his mother about how he felt because his mother would always back up her husband and make it seem like everything was Will's fault.
He tried to tell a school counsellor once, but they rang his dad and told him everything (despite it being confidential!) His dad told them that nothing that Will said was true, basically branding him as a liar. Making him feel truly isolated, even in his own home.
Will began smoking at the age of 13, primarily to spite his parents (because they hated everything to do with smoking)
Soon he began to love how the nicotine made him feel, it gave him strength. Something that his parents could never ever give him. It became an expensive addiction, soon he'd be spending his pocket money every week on a new pouch of gold leaf tobacco. He hid it from them for so long, disposing of all evidence before he entered the house. Spraying himself with lynx to hide the smell and hiding the tobacco in a pocket he'd cut in his jacket.
It wasn't until he was 15 that they found out. By that time, all those cigarettes he was smoking were impacting his developing lungs and it showed. He caught a cold once and it took him 3 months to shake it off fully, something which should only take up to 2 weeks to shift.
Will was getting ready for school one morning when he noticed his tobacco tin was missing. He asked his dad where it was, hoping he thought it was 'Just a tin' as it was luckily empty — His dad went and got it, handing it to him without saying anything.
His dad asked 'Do you smoke?' bluntly after a few minutes of silence
Will couldn't lie to him, so admitted it straight away. His dad simply replied 'I'm very sad' before going silent and returning his focus on the TV. Ignoring whatever else Will had to say.
Will went to a school for emotionally challenged teenagers for a while. He met a member of staff who he connected with immediately, to the point of him becoming a second dad to him. With that staff member, he had someone to talk to, someone to vent to, someone to be there when his parents clearly weren't!
He gave Will a lighter before he (unwillingly) left for college. That lighter hasn't left his side since. (Despite it being out of gas). He looks at it when he's lonely or in deep emotional turmoil. Remembering what that staff member would advise him to do.
Will had never connected with anyone like that before and when it came time to leave. It devastated him, it took him years to recover. He still hasn't found anyone quite like that staff member to talk to, nobody will ever come close.
He stopped talking to people after that, he buried his feelings with cheap alcohol and women. He thought they didn't matter and that no one cared.
No matter how bad Will felt, he put a smile on his face and showed up to work like nothing was going on. Even though his head was a mess and full to the brim with emotional pain.
The only person who wasn't taken in by his happy go lucky act was Archie. She'd been through enough emotional pain herself to know when someone else was. She noticed how many energy drinks he had a day, his lack of food and the unhealthy amount of cigarettes he smoked.
At first, she thought it was just the fatigue of working almost 24hr shifts. Until she witnessed him break down, thinking no one was around. Archie initially blamed the 'breakdown' on the death of Mason, Yes, he found a junior doctor dead. but Archie wasn't buying it after seeing this reaction from him:
He'd thrown a mug at the wall, watching it shatter around him and the liquid left in the cup, run down the pristine white wall.
He broke down, sliding down the grey wall of lockers. Putting one hand over his mouth to silence himself, before descending into a crying fit. Picking at the pieces of the destroyed mug on the floor.
Will studied the shards of the ceramic cup.' Broken and unfixable ' he thought to himself. Tossing the tiny piece in his hand away from him...
After realising how Will had been her emotional support during most of her dreadful times, she ran in (almost slipping on pieces of the mug) and hugged him tightly. Which is something she didn't usually do.
Will sat in silence for a while, before whispering: 'Thank you...'
He'd needed that hug more than he had ever needed anything in his life. but he still couldn't bring himself to tell Archie or anyone else how bad things were for him.
It was the overwhelming childhood fear of his dad finding out what he'd said and calling him a liar again taking over his need to vent.
Will was back to square one, sure he had a friend. but mentally? He was still very much alone.
Longer chapter for y'all! Hope you enjoyed! Let me know if you want to see more and thank you for all the reviews x