"What the fuck is that?"

Reno scrutinised the thing in the box. It was squat, brown and smelt sickly sweet. He prodded it cautiously and his finger stuck to the greasy surface. He was pretty sure food wasn't supposed to wobble like that.

Elena narrowed her eyes. "It's banana bread."

Rude's expression mirrored his own scepticism. Behind the ever-present shades his eyebrows slanted into a frown. "Why?"

"What do you mean, why? I baked it."

"You baked it?"

"Yes," she replied haughtily.

"Elena…" He licked the sticky residue from the tip of his finger and shuddered. "Don't take this the wrong way but…"

"You can't cook," said Rude, opting for blunt truth over diplomacy.

The blonde sat up straighter, crossing her arms over her chest. "Excuse me?"

"Remember the Korean barbecue plate?"

"There was nothing wrong with it!"

Reno groaned. "How can things be burnt on the outside and raw on the inside?"

"Tseng liked it."

He exchanged a glance with Rude. The Director had to like it; he had a lot more riding on keeping her sweet than they did.

"I cooked sushi. You liked that."

"You cooked sushi?"

"Made sushi," she mumbled.

"Bought sushi," Reno corrected.

Her cheeks turned pink. "You're just jealous because you can't cook."

He ruffled his fingers through his red hair. "I can make ramen."

"All you have to do is boil water!"

"And?"

"I can cook," said Rude.

Reno grinned widely. "I have better things to do in my free time."

"Women like men who can cook," he pointed out.

"Women like me just fine."

"That's not what I've heard." Elena smiled brightly.

He flipped her the bird.

"I like cooking," said Rude. He removed his glasses and began polishing the lenses on his tie. "I'm not eating that though."

"Fine!"

"I'll give you ten gil if you do." Reno grinned.

"You try to do something nice for people…"

"Twenty."

"Fifteen?"

"You're on."

Elena snatched the container off the table, holding it to her chest. "If you guys don't want any I'll give it to Tseng."

"I thought you were already giving it to him," Reno deadpanned. Rude snorted loudly.

The sticky piece of cake hit him in the jaw. It landed wetly on the table in front of him.

He wiped the goo off his chin. "Really?"

Rude laughed. The next handful caught him straight in the face.

She brandished the container in one hand, another wet handful of batter clutched in her fingers.

"Now that's just childish," he yelped, ducking out of his chair. She hit him squarely on the back of the head.

"For fucks sake!"

Reno tried vainly to pull the sticky crumbs out of his hair. Rude joined him underneath the table. There was a greasy smudge on his sunglasses.

He stuck his head out and narrowly avoided another face-full of cake. "Cut it out."

"Make me!"

Rude tossed his glasses on the floor and pulled another, cleaner pair out of his pocket.

Reno shook his head. "I blame you for this."