A/N: So, I really thought I had the timeline figured out. But then I read through this chapter, and found myself going 'Oh hey, look how much that DOESN'T FIT'. So just...pretend that this is one of the movies, okay? One of the ones that ejaculates all over canon? Itachi is dead, Sasuke is with Madara, and Naruto knows who his father is, but everything else is a little loopy. Just keep that in mind before you blast me with screams of, 'NOT CANON, NOT CANON, YOU SUCK FOREVER'.

Seriously, guys. I'm having so much fun with this. Thanks so much for continuing to read and making the crazy ride with me.

I do not own Naruto and am making no money off of this work.

Chapter Five

Trigger

"Ow. Hey, Sakura, ow!"

"Moron. Stop moving, you're already healed. Just let me fix the rest."

Sakura traced warm fingers across Naruto's ribs, easing the rest of the ache, and the feeling like maybe Naruto was going to spray his guts all over the walls of the cave, like Kakashi-sensei had done. Any other time, he'd totally be getting his leer on, what with Sakura's fingers all up and down his sides. But he felt….raw, maybe? Scraped up and beat down inside, where his hurts didn't heal as easily. His fox had fixed the physical wounds, the bleeding and the scrapes, but the nausea lingered like the total bitch that it was.

Sakura finished with his sides, and traced thoughtful fingers against Naruto's forehead. For maybe the first time ever, Naruto jerked away from her hands, back against the wall.

"Hey," Sakura said, startled. "Hey. I was just going to…don't you have a headache?"

He did, in fact. A total monster of an ache behind his eyes, like tiny fucking trolls tap-dancing against his skull.

"Just," he said. "Just, it's a little crowded in here right now. You know?"

Sakura's eyes gentled.

"The fox?" she asked.

Naruto shrugged. Because, yeah, the fox was back, swollen beneath his skin and taking up far too much fucking space, and whispering horrible dirty dark things through his skull. But that, that he was used to ignoring, to shoving it down until the fox's howls faded into background noise.

But his mother's voice.

What the shit, baby boy? Next time I need, like, a hug or a courtesy text before you skip out of my dimension. Grounded, so grounded, grounded forever and ever.

Yeah, he wasn't used to the memory of that, floating across his mind.

"Just leave it, Sakura. It'll go away eventually."

"It's been four days," Kakashi-sensei added, calm and cheerful and not at all sounding like a guy who'd just emptied his stomach lining across the rocks. "We've missed two check-ins."

"Which means Lady Tsunade will have sent a retrieval team," Sakura said, rocking back on her heels.

Naruto waved their concerns away with hands that went 'blah'.

"Yeah, great," he said. "Leave them a note, they can find it when they get here. We need to get our asses up and out and on the road already!"

"For what?" Kakashi asked, and his eye-smile was so fake it made Naruto want to punch it away.

"To go get Sasuke! We can't leave him alone with his boatloads of manpain, Sensei. It might ruin his perfect haircut, and then he won't be able to angst attractively anymore, and I'm pretty sure that'll like, trigger him into selling his body so he can feel loved, and Sensei, do you want to be responsible for that?"

"Naruto," Sakura said, and she sounded so, so tired.

"We have to go after him," he said. "We can't just…roll over and belly up now. He's so close; he hasn't been this close in a long time. He was here with us, Sakura, for days."

"Inside a genjutsu," Kakashi pointed out helpfully. "Where all the tragedies of his past had never happened."

"But did you see his face?" Naruto countered. "That wasn't normal Sasuke face. There was very little crazy-making, tragic-poetry spouting, 'Listen to the ballad of my angst, Naruto, it totally justifies the hand-wings and also my fist inside your chest' and that's pretty much his default expression these days, so anything else is a sign of improvement, true?"

Damn straight, baby boy. You slap on some make-up, put on those high heels, and fight for your man!

Naruto closed his eyes and took a second, because laughing in this situation would be so, so inappropriate. He knew that now. Granny Tsunade had dragged him into her office once and made the line very clear. With charts and visual aids and shit.

"He doesn't want us to follow him," Sakura said, and Naruto could see the reflection of that night, the night he'd left, filling up her eyes. "He never wants us to follow him."

Naruto furrowed his brow, honestly confused.

"And that's…stopped us before?"

Sakura laughed (it was kind of horrible, all soft and exhausted) and dropped her forehead against her hand.

"We have a mission," Kakashi pointed out. "Remember? That thing from the Hokage that we are now late for?"

"Recon in Earth Country," Sakura murmured against her palm.

"Sensei," Naruto said earnestly, blue eyes wide and innocent. "Sensei, lean close, and let me tell you how many fucks I give about a mission when Sasuke's idiot-ass is frolicking just outside the door somewhere."

"Frolicking," Kakashi-sensei repeated, voice flat like one of Naruto's frogs had squashed it.

"Frolicking," Naruto said, with relish. "You know he would. With the hair. And the slut shirts. With the neck cleavage."

"Wow," Kakashi said, and shut his eyes, probably in self-defense.

Look at you, annoying people into defensive comas. My pride is legendary.

"Naruto, going off mission is like going rogue," Sakura said. "It could be seen as treason, against the Leaf Village."

"Bah," Naruto said, and waved his hands again. "Granny Tsunade loves me."

"She threw her sake bottle at you, the last time we were in her office. You were annoying her, and she just. Threw the bottle. It dented the wall behind your head."

"It's a special, aggressive love," Naruto said proudly. "And she's not…yeah. She's not going to punish me for going after a teammate. Not her."

Silence.

And then Sakura lifted her head, and offered him a smile. A much nicer one this time.

"I should have guessed," she said. "Nothing stops you. Not for long."

This time, Naruto muscled up the leer.

"That's right, I can go forever and ever, Sakura."

She punched him in the head.

"And what about the mission, Sakura?" Kakashi asked, while Naruto lay on the cave floor and counted the stars suddenly sparkling above his skull. "Are you saying we should abandon it?"

"No, Kakashi-sensei. Naruto's right; leave a note for the retrieval team. They can pick up where we left off. We have to go after Sasuke."

Get up, Naruto. Because your boy has no business angsting his way through anywhere without his teammates.

"Too many people talking," Naruto decided, sitting up with his fingers tight against his head, because it really did feel over-crowded, too full and throbbing with it. "Too much talking, we need to stop dicking around, and get going after our bastard. Kakashi-sensei, Sakura and I will come back for you if you want to wait here. But we need to go."

Kakashi eye-smiled at him, and it looked a little more normal this time.

"Oh, I was always going to go," he said. "He's our bastard, like you said."

Naruto huffed out a helpless laugh. Because of course he would play the devil's advocate just for kicks.

"You're such a dick, Sensei," he said affectionately, and then dragged himself to his feet.

…

The thing was, Sakura said that he was fine. She smiled at him with her tired eyes, like he was a rock that she could always lean against, because he wouldn't budge an inch. And that was true, he'd always subscribed to the idea that something would fall the fuck down, if you threw yourself at it long enough.

But. That didn't mean that he didn't struggle. And listening to the sound of his mother's voice? Aching in whole new ways because he'd never had that before? A whole new level of suck that he was not yet accustomed to.

"You're distracted," Kakashi said, as Sakura traced letters into the cave wall for the retrieval team to find.

"Always," Naruto agreed. "By everything. Birds, bugs, big bowls of ramen…"

"I can still hear him, too. Hiro-sensei. He's laughing, and telling me to find the alcohol."

Naruto crumpled, shoulders curving inward.

"D'you think…they'll go away?"

"Do you want them to?" Kakashi asked.

"I…shit. Yeah, I don't know," Naruto said.

"They're not real, Naruto. You need to remember that."

"They were though," Naruto said, as softly as his voice ever got. "Once, they were real. Hiro-sensei, he was…your old teammate, right?"

"An almost exact copy, yes."

Naruto scrubbed at his eyes.

"That's all I've ever," he said. "I mean, that's the most I've ever had. Of my parents."

We're here. Naruto, we love you.

Kakashi laughed. It wasn't a happy sound.

"You've always been terrible at genjutsu," he said, with great affection. "It's not an always kind of thing, but some ninja, skilled genjutsu casters, they can create a sort of after-image. An echo. It's meant to act as a distraction. To keep the victim occupied by what they were experiencing inside the illusion."

"Who…I mean, Sasuke's bastard brother is dead, right? Sasuke killed him. So who's strong enough to pull that kind of genjutsu on us?"

Kakashi furrowed his brow at him.

"Do you not remember who we were fighting?"

"Um. Sasuke-bastard?"

"Seriously."

"Sensei," Naruto said, and damn straight it was a whine. A manly whine. "My head is full. And it feels all fuzzy."

"He was there," Kakashi said. "You picked up on Sasuke's chakra signals on our way to Earth Country and took off like the great big moron you are sometimes."

"Boom," Sakura added from over by the wall. "You were gone. One track mind, Naruto, really."

"Whatever, you love me. Then what happened, Sensei?"

Kakashi sighed and leaned against the wall.

"We followed him to the cave. You drop-kicked your way inside, started screeching your usual beat about friendship and bonds and brotherhood…"

"I think you actually tried to flash-back him into submission," Sakura inputted. "It was inspiring."

"And Sasuke looked about ready to use your face for Chidori practice. But right when you boys started to rumble, Sasuke's new keeper showed up. Didn't seem to like the idea of us talking to his newest team member."

"He had the coat on," Naruto said slowly. "Sasuke. The one with the clouds. And so did…"

"Madara. Remember? His name is Madara Uchiha."

"Right. Okay. So, I'm starting to think that being a total dick-bag is like, an Uchiha family trait. Seriously."

"My question is," Sakura said, standing from her crouch and brushing off her palms. "Why would he leave Sasuke here? Inside the genjutsu, with us? Why didn't he break it and take him along?"

Kakashi shrugged.

"To remind him of what he had, maybe?" he said. "Fuel his anger? I mean, his murdered family and Itachi. Those have always been Sasuke's triggers."

"Yeah, I don't really care why he left Sasuke with us," Naruto blurted, bouncing impatiently on his toes. "He's old, right? So probably crazy, whatever. All that matters is that Sasuke is out there, right now, and he can't have gotten very far because he doesn't have a Sakura to heal him."

"He would have had a Sakura to heal him," Kakashi pointed out fairly. "If he would have parked his ass like the rest of us."

"Would is such a strong word," Sakura muttered to the wall. "He might have had a Sakura to heal him. He also might have had a Sakura to punch his face in. Fifty fifty."

Please. Please make babies with her.

Naruto pressed his hands over his eyes.

"Not real," Kakashi reminded him, not unkindly. "And you need to keep it together. Because if we're hearing things, then that means that Sasuke is too. And how do you think he's going to react to the voice of his dead mother inside his mind? Or that sweet little sister that he never got to meet?"

"Oh. Oh, shit. The crazy…it must be everywhere. Hey Sakura, how's that wall coming?"

"Done," Sakura said. "Kakashi-sensei, your turn."

As Kakashi began to weave the seals that would reveal their letter only to Leaf ninja who knew what they were looking for, Sakura came to stand by Naruto's side.

"Sasuke's hearing voices," Naruto announced.

"Oh, again?"

"Yeah, I know." Naruto paused for a moment. "Hey Sakura? Who are you hearing? What voice did you bring with you?"

"I didn't bring a voice with me, Naruto. My mind is quiet."

"What? Mah, Sakura, no fair! How come you don't have a voice?"

Sakura shrugged. Her green eyes were sharp like glass.

"I knew it wasn't real, almost from the beginning," she reminded him. "Made it hard to get attached. All of the people I cared about I carried through the genjutsu with me."

And Naruto closed his eyes, because suddenly Sakura's voice was crowding in alongside his mother's, hurting and somehow swollen.

That's okay. Really, it was, Sensei, because I'm always on the outside aren't I, just a little bit?

….

They didn't stop to sleep that night. Because Sasuke sure as shit wasn't sleeping, was actually probably busy spreading his crazy already, and they had to catch up if they wanted to contain it. And it was good, because the bite of tree bark beneath Naruto's hands and feet made him feel like he was going somewhere, like he was working toward something.

But running didn't leave much room for talking, which meant there was nothing to distract Naruto from the chatter inside his skull.

Look at you, all athletic and shit. Remember that time in fifth grade when you tripped over your own shoelaces and face-planted right into your teacher's cleavage at your Elementary graduation? Just. Moments like those. The reason you were worth fifteen hours of labor.

Naruto squeezed his eyes shut. Because he did remember it. Remembered falling back out of his teacher's rather ample chest to the sound of his mother bruising her own kidneys with laughter, and snapping pictures like a madwoman through eyes that streamed with mirth, while his father face-palmed in the background. His mom had hung a copy on the fridge, in a hand-made frame that read 'Baby's First Fuck-Up' and had refused to let Naruto take it down

The memory felt…shimmery. Thin and shiny and slippery like that dress that Sakura had worn that one time. But it felt real, too, layered over his memories of ninja training and lonely apartments like frosting between cake pieces.

A distraction, Kakashi-Sensei had said. Something meant to throw him off his game. He should ignore it, shove it down deep like he did with the fox.

But if he focused, like really went squinty-eyed and shit, he could still smell his mother's perfume. Sharp and clean and sweet like oranges. And he could pretend it was the wind ripping tears into his eyes all he wanted, but he was betting there was a reason Kakashi-Sensei was politely ignoring him.

He didn't want to wish his mother's voice away. Holding on to fake memories probably wasn't the healthiest of life decisions, true, but it was also all he was ever going to get of her. He knew things about his father, now that the secret had been spilled. Could find his father in the pages of history books, or the back of the Hokage's quarters where Granny Tsunade totally pretended she couldn't see him hiding sometimes. There were pictures he could trace, actual pieces of clothing he could touch, in order to feel close.

He had nothing of his mother, except for stories passed down second-hand.

I loved you there. I'm sure I did. Baby boy, how could I not?

Naruto wasn't ashamed of his tears, had never been ashamed of crying. He wasn't Sasuke, who viewed every visible emotion as some sort of invitation toward a kidney punch. He damn well had a right to cry over his mother's memory. She'd been a wish in the back of his head, a constant ache from the moment his mandatory caretaker had abandoned him at his first solo apartment, him six years old and her running out the door like she couldn't get away from him fast enough.

There had been a thunderstorm that night. A big bitch of a storm, with screaming wind and thunder that shook the roof. And he'd cried then too, because no one had come to comfort him, to shush away his fears. He'd clung to a pillow instead, a pillow that smelled stale and unfamiliar, and pretended it was arms around him.

I'd have clawed her eyes out. For serious. I'd have introduced her face to my fist for even thinking about leaving you alone.

He had that now, sure. People who were protective of him. Sakura bitch-slapped anyone who spoke about him badly because only she had that right, and Iruka had once gone rage-monster on a group of his students who had recoiled from him when he'd shown up to visit. Kakashi-Sensei had once kicked a Jounin's ass for referring to Naruto as 'that monster', and for all that Jiraya gave him a hard time, he sure as shit didn't tolerate anyone bad-mouthing his student.

But for years. For years and years, people had pushed Naruto away. Had crossed away from the streets he'd been walking on, and refused to sell him things in the market place. Had paled with fear at his presence, and pulled their children away from him at the playground. Like a six-year-old who couldn't even brush his hair properly was capable of some serious shit.

He had overcome it. Had pushed and shoved until people fell away, one by one. Had rebuilt his own reputation out of sweat and what Kakashi called 'a truly charming way of fucking with everyone's expectations'. He could smile now, and mean it, not like the bitter, broke things he used to offer instead. And he would overcome this, too. Would find a way to continue forward, even with the knowledge of what he could have had beating away inside his skull.

But knowing that? Didn't stop what he now recognized as anger snapping away inside his blood.

And the fox was purring beneath his skin, running his anger between its paws like a swatch of silk. And he could feel it, his nails sharpening into claws, his vision going bright and clear, which meant that his eyes were changing-

There's a tree branch in his face.

Naruto squawked and fell, with absolutely zero grace, out of the tree he'd just landed on.

"What the hell?" he snapped, because Kakashi-Sensei was already on the ground, leaning against the tree and looking way, way to innocent.

"Knock it off," Kakashi said pleasantly, with a happy-eyed smile that promised murder. "I could feel you angsting from four trees away. Sasuke-levels of angst."

Naruto gaped at him.

"I…fuck you!" he said. "I wasn't…I just…"

"Naruto," Sakura said, as she landed lightly beside him. "Naruto, we could see you changing. The fox taking control."

Naruto shook his head.

"It wasn't like that," he said. "He wasn't…coming out. I was just…"

"Throwing yourself a pity party?" Kakashi suggested, examining his fingernails like they were far more fascinating than his furious student.

"I'm angry," Naruto snapped. "It's allowed."

"Not for you. Not like that."

Naruto snarled. Sakura quickly stepped forward, shielding Kakashi from sight.

"You have to understand," she said. "We're not telling you that you can't be upset, Naruto. We're not. But you…you just need more control, that's all."

"So, what? I'm supposed to be okay with knowing now what a normal childhood would have felt like? What it would have meant to have two parents who loved me, instead of an entire village running away from my fucking face?"

"No. No, of course not. But Naruto, you've always been able to get above it before. Always been able to love the village, in spite of everything."

"I know that, Sakura. Doesn't mean that I'm a superhuman with zero bad feelings. I have to…I have to go through the bad to find the good."

"Okay," Sakura said, and she knelt down beside him. "Okay, that's good. That's actually more impressive, you have no idea. But Naruto…you can't. Let it control you. Not right now, not with the fox so close."

"I'm angry, Sakura," he said, softly this time, like it was a secret. "Because she's there."

"It's a distraction," Sakura said. "An echo, we already told you. It will fade."

"I know. That's why. Because it's the most I've ever had, and soon I won't have it anymore."

"So, so terrible at genjutsu," Kakashi said over Sakura's shoulder, but it was gentle now. "You had to know, Naruto. That someone would figure it out eventually. Family is a weakness for you. You think they didn't plan this, your frustration?"

"I know they did," Naruto said helplessly. "I know, but I still can't…"

"So don't be angry," Sakura said. "Be grateful that you had her at all. Go through the bad, like you said. Go through the anger, and find grateful instead. You had her voice, Naruto. If this hadn't happened, you might never have had even that. So find grateful."

She's right, baby boy. I'm here. I love you. That's what you always wanted, right? So, you heard it. Hold on to that echo. But put me away now.

"I…" and there were the tears again. Thank shit that this was his team, and they'd seen his tears before. "Okay, Sakura. Okay."

"Come on," Kakashi said, and he was closer now, dropping a warm hand on Naruto's shoulder. "We've got someone else to find."

You're not alone without me here, sweetheart. Not like before. So put me away.

Naruto laughed a little, scrubbed at his nose with his sleeve. He let Sakura tug him to his feet, and only wobbled a little bit.

"Yeah," he said. "Yeah, alright. Emo Bastard Retrieval, Part Two."

"This is not Part Two," Sakura said mournfully. "This is Part…I don't know, Forty-Seven or something. Because this is like one of those really horrible epics that is never going to end."

"Aw, there's that adorable optimism," Kakashi said, and then launched himself back into the higher branches.

Naruto followed.

And this time, he kept one echo for himself. Just one, tucked warm against his heart.

The rest, he pushed away. Gently, but still he pushed until his head was as quiet as the trees around them.

...

A/N: Because Naruto has issues like whoa, no matter how much they try to paint him as the Ninja Jesus. Next Chapter: Sasuke's POV, making with the Emo'Splosions. Kaboom.