A/N: Apologies as always for updating at the speed of a slow-motion bar fight. You guys continue to be amazing for putting up with me! Your kind words encouraging me to take the time that I need mean the world!
Be advised that I am playing fast and loose with a few facts here. Bringing Sasuke home has disrupted the timeline somewhat, and so some events are out of place. SORRY ABOUT IT HAD TO BE DONE!
I don't own anything, and am making zero money from this work.
Chapter Eleven
Bystander
Kakashi
Greetings in the marketplace were always charming. They represented comfort. Familiarity. The very cozy realization that people knew and loved you enough to acknowledge your existence. Kakashi looked forward to the greetings, every time he hit the shopping stalls.
Especially when those greetings started with the words, "Heard that fucking traitor of yours made it home after all."
"Your produce is terribly cranky this morning," Kakashi informed the suddenly pale-faced shopkeeper with a happy-eye smile, and selected some oranges for his bag.
"Hey. Hey, you heard me, Hatake. I know you did."
"I hear lots of things!" Kakashi agreed cheerfully. "Lots and lots but actual listening requires so much effort." The man was thickly built. A lower-ranking ninja, bulky and red-faced from drink and his own self-importance. Kakashi turned his attention to the strawberries instead. "Ask the Hokage; I'm sure she'll provide some stunning not-listening references upon your request."
The man hawked deep within his chest, and spat at Kakashi's feet. "I don't want to talk to the Hokage. I want to talk to you, about your back-stabbing little student."
"Sasuke stabbed a front, actually," Kakashi reminded him merrily. "With his hand, stabbed a front, where the heart is. Not a back, although with your general appearance, I can see." Kakashi waved a hand. "You know, see why it might be hard for you to tell the difference."
"What do I care about him trying to gut that Jinchuriki brat? Might be the last good thing he did for this Village." The man gave his dick a good scratch, like maybe he was hoping to remind people of its existence, and Kakashi smiled even wider. Always a terrible idea, highlighting potential targets for your enemy. "No. What I want to know is why he thinks he can waltz back in here after all those years fucking about with that snake bastard."
"Oh, we don't waltz on Team Seven. Not since the incident. With the frog. And the Hokage's secretary. And several acres of scorched earth—listen, what's your clearance level, I can't actually talk about it unless you're Level 8 or higher."
"He's a murderer," the man said, voice flat and his squinty eyes dark and mean. "A murderer and a traitor, and if the Council has any sense, they'll pop those magic eyes of his right out of his skull and then put him down like a dog."
"Your opinions are very important to me," Kakashi told him solemnly. "So very important, I promise." He tipped his head towards the shopkeeper, whose knees were knocking hard enough to rattle the apple cart they were hidden behind. "Hold this for me, won't you?"
The man accepted Kakashi's shopping bag, and held it like he was seriously considering using the fabric as a handkerchief to stem his apparently imminent bout of terror-weeping.
"Thank you," Kakashi said, because politeness was also important. Kakashi knew that, after years and years of lectures and scoldings and actual 'WHAT THE FUCK STOP MAKING THE OTHER JOUNIN CRY, YOU ASSHOLE' presentations, delivered by Lady Tsunade herself.
Politeness was so important, Kakashi knew that now, which was why he said, "Excuse me," after shooting a Chidori straight in between the other ninja's legs.
"Sensei," Sakura said, several hours later, long-suffering as she landed on the perch beside him.
"Sakura," Kakashi said back, and patted the spot next to him invitingly.
"Sensei. You are not allowed to Chidori someone in the dick."
"My dear Sakura. Regulating the jutsus of her ninja is an admirable goal, but I think the Lady Hokage will find-"
"No. This isn't coming from Lady Tsunade. It's coming from me. No Chidori-in-the-dick, Sensei, alright?"
"I am your elder and your teacher and so I can Chidori all the dicks I want," Kakashi reminded her, and would never ever admit to the way he shrank a little from the murder-song shining so brilliant in those green eyes.
Sakura sighed, and took her seat next to Kakashi, legs swinging idly through the air. "How far today, do you think?"
"I really couldn't say. Depends on the strength of the new door."
There was something vaguely haunted about the way Sakura stared straight forward as she said, "I don't want to talk about the last door. The last door deserved so much better from this world."
"Yes, well. Sweet bean?"
Sakura took the offered treat, and then settled down to wait, because Sakura and Kakashi had a mission, and they were so amazing at it.
Space was the mission. Space, stepping back, stepping out, and letting Sasuke establish how he planned to navigate this brand new world he found himself in. Space was so important in moments like these, especially for private people like Sasuke, and so they honored that importance and provided space.
Which, in the language of Team Seven, meant that they limited their stalking to the tree branches around Sasuke's house and brought snacks to pass the time. Kakashi tucked into his own box of sweets after offering a cheerful finger wave to the ANBU team stationed in a different tree across the yard.
Still. This was space, and they were providing it. Politely. Patiently. And with an underlying layer of exasperation, because there was one team member missing from their tree branch.
"SASUKE. SASUKE, LET ME IN. I BROUGHT RAMEN AND ALSO MY SLEEPING BAG."
"And he's arrived," Sakura sighed, as Naruto canon-balled his way across the ankle-deep weeds choking Sasuke's yard.
"Two minutes," Kakashi decided from his spot.
"Thirty seconds," Sakura countered darkly, and did something extremely violent sounding to her box of sweets.
"I give him points for persistence," Kakashi said and popped his chin on the heel of his hand. "Sasuke's been home for three weeks, and he hasn't missed a single day of Mission 'Create a One-Man Rave on Sasuke's Doorstep'."
"He's got to groom him."
Kakashi froze in the act of slipping more sweets beneath his mask. "Pardon?"
"That's what Naruto told me yesterday," Sakura explained, and looked deeply horrified with herself for having this knowledge. "He has to get in there and groom Sasuke. Because Naruto needs to show off his successfully retrieved teammate to the entire village, all the way from Jiraya-Sensei to the tiniest civilian child, and Naruto said that he would prefer Sasuke look suitably bruised and beaten for it."
"Ah. So when Naruto says 'grooming' he really means 'kicking the shit out of'."
Sakura glowered like she was considering doing some shit-kicking of her very own. "Does he ever mean anything else?"
"Well. Good thing that he's starting with Jiraya, then. Pretty sure he'll think it's funny."
"Good thing that Jiraya-Sensei isn't here," Sakura countered. "Because you know that Iruka-Sensei is going to come right after Jiraya-Sensei, and if Sasuke's bruises haven't faded by then Naruto is going to get some bruises of his own."
Kakashi winced in agreement. There were names for the vein that appeared in Iruka's forehead, whispered fearfully amongst the jounin who had failed to turn in neatly completed mission reports.
Across the overgrown wreck of Sasuke's lawn, Naruto stood on Sasuke's cracked and neglected stoop and attempted to knock Sasuke's door down with both fists and the sheer power of his buddy-love. A ratty sleeping bag was tucked under his arm, that truly fucking terrible sleeping cap was perched atop his head, and Kakashi was just tickled pink, really, that this was one of the most powerful ninja of the generation.
"Should this be my job?" Kakashi wondered. "As the teacher? Be honest, Sakura, have I ever failed you in your expectations that I would use my affection to kick your door in?"
Gently, Sakura explained, "I do not have these expectations, Sensei, because I am a normal human being."
"Ah."
"SASUKE!" Naruto continued to yell from the doorstep. He got in two more solid thumps with his fist before a coil of wire snapped out of nowhere. It curled around Naruto's foot and pulled with a sharp tug. Naruto's ramen went in one direction. His sleeping bag went in the other. Still, the wire pulled. Kakashi watched as his beloved student went whipping past his and Sakura's location, up towards the highest branches of the tree and screaming the entire time.
"Called it," Sakura said and stuffed another bite of sweet bean in her mouth. "Thirty seconds."
From the very top of the tree, Naruto bellowed, "Beetles up my nose—Sasuke, you asshole!"
"I'm just so proud," Kakashi explained as he accepted the thermos of tea that Sakura offered. "So proud of my adopted ninja-children."
"Sure, Sensei," Sakura said, and continued to watch the dark and empty windows of Sasuke's house.
He walked Sakura home that night. He tried to be a good Sensei, really, and also the deeply scandalized faces that Sakura's mother made at him from behind the lace curtains were hilarious.
Sakura hesitated at the door and said, "Don't stay too late tonight, Sensei, okay?"
"You don't know that I'm going back to Sasuke's house. I could be going other places. I could be doing other things. Social, grown-up things."
Sakura offered him a deeply pitying look before replying. "It's good to watch. They're our teammates, and they're stupid, so it's good to watch. But Sasuke isn't ready for you and me yet. Naruto has to crack open the armor of emotional constipation first."
"I suppose. Naruto always has to be first, doesn't he?"
"He doesn't have to be," Sakura disagreed. The shadows around her house were deep, but Kakashi could see the tiny smile on her face. "He shouldn't have to be, and I wish he wasn't most of the time. First is a dangerous place to be. But there's an order to the way we work."
"An order?"
"Naruto is always first," Sakura explained. The doorknob in her hand creaked alarmingly, and Kakashi briefly considered reminding her that mere metal was no match for Tsunade-trained ninja muscles. "That's where the minefield is, so Naruto is always first. Because Naruto is an idiot who enjoys finding the bombs with his feet instead of his brain and then bringing me internal organs to fix."
Kakashi wished he could combat the metaphor. But there had been a mission once with an actual minefield and Naruto dancing across the ground with an unnatural amount of glee. And so Kakashi really had nothing to say in his defense.
"Sasuke is the minefield?" he asked instead. "In this particular instance."
"Sasuke is the biggest minefield," Sakura agreed wearily. "His bombs are made of rage and not being hugged enough as a child."
Kakashi tucked his hands inside his pockets. "Sounds dangerous."
"First is a dangerous place to be," Sakura repeated. "That's why there's an order to us. Naruto knows it. Sasuke does too."
Sasuke didn't care. It was on the tip of Kakashi's tongue. But Sakura turned to look at him, and her eyes were still visible in the darkness. Something in the green of them made him bite the words back.
"Sasuke knows that Naruto will be the first one to enter the minefield. Always the first, and Sasuke needs that. He needs Naruto to be first, because he knows that Naruto is the only one who can trigger the biggest bombs without dying afterward." Sakura shrugged, and looked tired enough to tip her head against the door. "It's a stupid kind of trust. But they are stupid people, like I said."
"Very stupid," Kakashi agreed, and tried to keep the affection from his voice. Sakura had become very sensitive to his vocal tics after staring at his mask for so many years. Sakura also took extreme exception to anyone who encouraged Naruto and Sasuke's 'idiotic boys who believe that ruptured kidneys are better than friendship bracelets' behavior.
"So. Not too late tonight, Sensei. Promise?"
"I promise, Sakura," he said.
She smiled a little as she finally slipped inside. Eyes closed, head bowed; a defeated smile.
Kakashi couldn't be an entirely terrible Sensei. Not really. Not if he'd managed to teach Sakura not to trust his promises.
The years between Kakashi and Sakura were filled with lessons. Lessons with lots of words, lessons with sweat and blood, lessons with cracked leather gloves and shattered canvases of rock. But the most important lesson he'd ever imparted hadn't required words at all; Kakashi had taught it over and over again with actions alone.
Kakashi was good at a lot of things. Speed. Strength. Being an asshole for Obito's amusement in the afterlife. But Kakashi was terrible at keeping promises. One of the most important lessons, and only Sakura had learned it because in so many ways Kakashi had failed her the most.
Kakashi couldn't be trusted to keep his promises. Sakura knew that, and really, Kakashi was proud of her for it.
Sasuke whispered to the sky, sometimes, late at night when he thought he was alone. Nothing substantial, more puffs of air across chapped lips than actual words. Kakashi didn't know what Sasuke was confessing to stars that he could no longer see, but he understood the urge to do so. Kakashi whispered to the stars sometimes, too. Easier to tally your sins when assured that you weren't going to run out of things to count.
Tonight, Sasuke brought his voice above a whisper, but only just.
"What are you doing here?"
Impressive, that Sasuke could sense his presence with both his vision and his chakra bound. It warmed Kakashi to the cockles of his heart, really, what a talented little murderous shit he'd raised.
"Your traps weren't set for me." And didn't that just prove Sakura's point. "Who might you be whispering to tonight?"
Sasuke didn't respond, but the angle of his chin reminded Kakashi that there hadn't been any sound coming out of his mouth. There might have been some you're a dumbass there too, but Kakashi wasn't sure. He was rusty in reading the insults that Sasuke wove into the bends and planes of his body.
"Naruto is sleeping on your lawn," Kakashi continued. "Sleeping on your lawn with empty cartons of food and a ratty sleeping bag. Like a ninja-hobo."
Sasuke didn't respond, or even turn his unseeing eyes away from the stars. Kakashi was glad. He'd only seen Sasuke's eyes once, right after the sealing. But the dull and deadened gray of them had had him gagging up bile for two entire nights after, covered in cold sweat on the bathroom floor and mumbling endless apologies to Obito's memory.
"I'm skipping the order of things, I guess," Kakashi explained cheerfully. "Sakura said we have one, and that Naruto is supposed to get to you first. But Team 7 also excels in its entirety at finding rules a fucking bother, and so Sakura would not be surprised by my presence here, I think."
Still, no response. Just the creaks of the house around them. In the three weeks since he'd been home, Sasuke hadn't done anything to clean the rot or clear the damage. Sasuke hadn't done anything at all, save for setting traps to keep Naruto outside. He seemed content to let the house fall around him, and Kakashi wondered if he was hoping to fall with it.
"You smell," Kakashi informed him. "What would your fan club think of you now, Sasuke, if they could see you crouching in your filthy house, dressed in clothes from days ago and smelling like them, too?"
"If I offend you so much, then you should leave."
"You've always offended me, in some way or another," Kakashi pointed out and then crouched down at his side. "Because you meant so much to me, I think. More than the others, for a long time."
Sasuke's head tipped in Kakashi's direction the tiniest bit. Understandably so; Kakashi and Sasuke didn't do the sharing thing. They'd always communicated best in the language of facial tics and tapping fingers, of silences that spoke volumes. Words were for Naruto, and Naruto was currently all the way outside and trying to knock Sasuke's house down with the power of his snores.
Kakashi had given Sasuke silence once, because he'd been trying to respect what he'd thought that Sasuke needed. But Sasuke had left despite Kakashi's willingness to give. He'd left, and now he was home again, and Kakashi wasn't a comfortable talker by any stretch of the imagination but he was completely committed to his chosen career of being a dick. If talking was what it took to put Sasuke's back up, then Kakashi would stuff his ears with words until the little shit was a twitching tower of teenage mortification.
Entertaining, to be sure. But always, fucking exhaustingly always, lurked the hope that Sasuke might actually hear him this time.
"I've always seen the most of myself in you," Kakashi continued. Sasuke did indeed twitch at that, halfway down his spine, and Kakashi smiled. "I know. Horrifying for the both of us. But it's true. I looked at you when you were twelve and thought—okay. He's unstable. Angry at the entirety of existence. Appears to think that limitations are a funny joke and walks through life seconds away from snapping and assaulting the nearest fluffy animal." Kakashi rocked back on his heels a bit. "I looked at you and I thought—Ah, yes. Who better to carry on the Hatake legacy?"
"Your standards are a tragedy."
"Mah, mah," Kakashi said. "They might be. But you still met them, didn't you, student-mine?"
Sasuke fell silent again. Kakashi propped his own elbows on his knees and let the night wind brush the exposed skin of his face.
"I pretty much abandoned Naruto and Sakura for you," Kakashi said. It was easier to admit now that Sasuke couldn't see him, and Kakashi hated himself for that relief. He made sure to count a star for thinking it. "Sakura would never admit it out loud, and I don't think that Naruto even sees it like that. But you knew. Didn't you, Sasuke?"
Sasuke flicked a shoulder—a tiny shrug. Agreement in the most reluctant way possible, because talking to Sasuke was super fun like that.
"I get embarrassed now, looking back on my blatant favoritism. All red cheeks and cringing when I think about how I made you my number one priority. I did all of that, Sasuke. But you still left."
No flicks or twitches this time. Sasuke kept perfectly, deliberately still. Kakashi plowed on, regardless, because there was one question that had spent years curling beneath Kakashi's skin. Snaking through his bloodstream, quickening his pulse, hot and frantic like a poison. Now was as good a time as ever to try and draw it out.
"Was there anything I could have said, Sasuke? I know that looking at my Sensei track record has made two different Hokages weep, so it needs to be asked. Did you give me the words to keep you in the Village and I failed to hear them?"
For a moment, there was nothing except silence and the stars. Depending on Sasuke's answer (or non-answer) Kakashi would have entirely new reasons to start counting.
Finally, Sasuke turned to look at him. Kakashi forced down the fresh wave of acidly bile, which would apparently be his response every time he looked at Sasuke's sightless eyes.
"No," Sasuke murmured. "There was nothing you could have said. Not you."
Sasuke's voice was as expressionless as always, but there was just enough stress on the word 'you' for Kakashi to understand. He was never the one capable of making Sasuke waver. Only Naruto had come close, and really, Kakashi should have been used to that by now. It was natural for a Sensei to be surpassed by his student, and Naruto had been sprinting ahead of Kakashi from the beginning.
And maybe, in some bizarre fashion, this was supposed to be Sasuke providing comfort. Little shit was even more incapable of normal human expressions than Kakashi himself. Maybe this was Sasuke's way of saying stop feeling guilty you couldn't have stopped me anyway.
But somehow, it stung and it definitely shouldn't have. Kakashi had long since lost the right to demand any kind of attachment from his students. But a small part of him, buried extremely deep, still insisted that Sasuke was the only one who could carry on his teachings.
I know you, a tiny corner of Kakashi's brain howled. I see you, I know you, and you should see me too.
"Alright," he said instead, and marveled at the indifference in his own voice. "Well, that's good to know."
Kakashi climbed carefully to his feet, shaking out the stagnant blood in his legs. Sasuke went back to staring blindly at the sky.
"Naruto isn't going to leave," Kakashi pointed out.
"He might," Sasuke said. "Eventually."
Sweet, naive boy. He'd always underestimated his loudest teammate. Was he hoping Kakashi would take this conversation and decide to send Naruto away?
Pfffft. Kakashi was seriously considering wrapping Naruto up in ribbons and pretty paper and launching him through the front door, past all of Sasuke's traps.
Maybe I'm not done giving yet. I haven't been the best Sensei, and I haven't always been right about what you need. But if Naruto is it for now, then I can do you the favor of letting him get to you.
"You keep believing that!" Kakashi sang out. He thought about ruffling Sasuke's hair, just to see how well-honed his reflexes remained even through the chakra binding, but thought better of it. Sasuke didn't need chakra to be a fucking nuisance of a genius, and there would be other days for Kakashi to ruffle and run.
Instead, Kakashi left without another word. He stopped in the yard on his way out of the house and considered Naruto, sprawled out and drooling near the weed-infested flower beds.
Warmed to the bottoms of his toes by the sight, and all but bursting with affection, Kakashi crouched down and gave Naruto a loving whack to the ribs.
The kid came awake in a muzzy storm of flailing arms and squawking noises that all but startled the ANBU team from their hidden tree branches.
"Go home," Kakashi instructed. "Sasuke's all settled for the night. You can try again tomorrow."
"Fucking bwuh?" Naruto gurgled back sleepily.
Kakashi thought about grinding his little blonde head into the dirt; that was how much he adored him in this moment.
"Go home," Kakashi repeated, and added another nudge to the ribs for good measure. "You've done enough for today, Naruto."
You've done enough for always, really.
"Fuckity mwar," Naruto slurred in apparent agreement. He staggered to his feet and gathered up his things. Kakashi steadied him, and then steered him in the right direction.
As Naruto wandered home, Kakashi did the same. He tried not to think about how strong Naruto's shoulders had seemed beneath his hands. Strong because of all the weight sitting there that Kakashi couldn't take from him.
He'd finally gone to bed almost at peace with the state of things, which of course meant that Kakashi was roused at some stupidly early hour by a summons from the Hokage.
Get here now, it commanded, and so Kakashi showed up a downright respectful fifteen minutes late to honor the urgency of the order.
"Yo," he tried, only to freeze when he realized who else was standing in the office.
Tsunade and Shizune, that was to be expected. But a sleep-tousled Sakura. A blank-faced Sai. And a toad, old and wizened and immensely powerful, these surprises snapped Kakashi's spine out of its lazy slouch.
"What's going on?" he asked, and in a soft grey haze of shock, he heard Tsunade give her answer.
It went like this.
She said, "I need you to get Naruto."
She said, "I won't go into the details until he gets here. But Jiraya is dead. He was attacked in the Rain Village."
She said, "Kakashi. Please. I need you to get Naruto."
Dead. Attacked. The words echoed like gongs inside Kakashi's head, crammed up against maps of the roads to Rain Country and calculations of Jiraya's departure time versus the time it would have taken to plan an attack deadly enough to fell a legendary Sannin.
And over the sounds of Sakura's startled gasp and the barest shift of Sai's feet, Kakashi's genius brain pulled and then snapped forward, like a rubber band stretched too far.
"Understood," he heard himself say from far away. "I'll get him now."
It was another promise broken. Kakashi didn't head for Naruto's apartment after leaving the Hokage's office. Instead, he turned towards a different dwelling, tucked further away inside the Village.
Kakashi didn't bother avoiding Sasuke's traps this time. He blasted through the front door, swatting down the ninja wire and exploding tags with impatient hands.
Still seated by the open sliding door, Sasuke didn't react beyond tipping his head once again.
"Kakashi," Sasuke said. But Kakashi didn't respond. He wasn't interested in words at the moment; instead, he yanked up his forehead protector and let his Sharingan focus on the room.
He watched carefully as Sasuke said, "What do you want this time?" And he felt the bottom fall out of his stomach when he realized that he could read his lips perfectly, even though Sasuke barely moved them when he spoke.
Normal ninja eyes wouldn't have seen it. Kakashi himself hadn't considered them words last night, upon finding Sasuke staring at the sky last night.
But it was clear. To a Sharingan, it was perfectly clear.
A second haze filled up Kakashi's head, but this one wasn't soft and grey. It was red, bright and murderous.
When he finally spoke, it went like this.
He said, "Lord Jiraya is dead."
He said, "His journey to the Rain Village was top secret. Only the ninja assigned to protect Naruto from the Akatsuki knew about it; Tsunade, Yamato, and myself. There was no way that anyone could have been waiting with an attack already prepared."
He said, "You never did answer me, Sasuke. Just who were you whispering to last night?"
A/N: At the end of the day, the only thing Team 7 is REALLY good at is making terrible decisions. Next Chapter: Sakura's POV-Not enough Band-Aids in the world to fix this shit. Happy Reading!