"Yo, spy! Can you help me out a little bit?" Came a familiar voice through the door. Spy glanced up from his book and sighed. Not too long ago he had been in this same situation when all the mercenaries thought they had 72 hours to live and Scout came pounding on his door asking how to charm ladies.
"Is it about getting a date again?" He asked in his usual unamused tone.
"Maybe, maybe not. Just open the freakin' door!" The voice responded. Spy shut his book and opened the door, staring at the Scout with the most emotionless face a human could ever possess. "Hey! Hey! So listen here. I was wondering if you ever had a date. Like a really real girlfriend,"
"Your mother, perhaps?" Spy answered lifelessly.
"No, no, I mean besides that! Was there anyone you ever like...seriously went for?"
"Non. Spies don't have true love. We just manipulate emotions to get what we want. Now skip off and leave me alone," Spy slammed the door, but a persistent Scout sacrificed his ribs to keep it open.
"Wait, wait! You mean you seriously don't have the hots for anyone!?" He cried out.
Spy stared at him cold. "None. It's a waste of my time. Why does it matter to you anyways?"
"Because I was wanting some tips from someone who...ya know... actually had an experience,"
"Well the only thing you'll learn from me is how to woo a woman then backstab her when she's served her purpose,"
"Well ya know, I am kinda interested in backstabbing women if ya catch what I'm sayin~"
Spy rolled his eyes and slammed the door even harder. Scout didn't want to risk having his lungs crushed too, so he retreated. It was probably the wisest decision he made all day.
He paced down the hall by himself, mumbling on under his breath. "Stop talking to yourself before you turn into zhat filthy Aussie," Medic said as they passed each other in the hall. Scout's eyes lit up immeadiately.
"Yo, Medic! You're just the guy I wanted to see. C'mere for a sec,"
Medic crossed his arms. "Vhat iz it, Scout? I'm a very busy man,"
"Okay, so I have a little problem where I don't know if miss Pauling likes me or not. She acts all uninterested and crap but I think that deep down she really loves me. You have anything...like a love potion or something that can help me out? You are pretty mad when it comes to science, so if anyone can do it, you sure can! And if you do, I promise not to call for you unless my leg is falling off. Deal?"
Medic really thought about it. "Fine. But if you break your promise, I'll make sure Heavy breaks you,"
"You got a deal, medicine man!" They shook hands on it. For the next few weeks, Medic dedicated himself to fulfilling Scout's request. His mind was obsessed with the bliss of going through battle without being yelled at for scratches and bruises when others were losing their arms. The day he had always prayed for was just on the other side of this project.