A/N: Okay listen: I've lost all control over my life.

Right in the middle of working on Kakashi's upcoming chapter. Like a responsible person with a game plan for finishing this story in a timely manner (Ha. Hahahaha. Ha). AND THEN: A WILD NARUTO-INTERLUDE APPEARS.

I literally wrote this in forty-five minutes and then slapped it down here without looking at it again. Please keep that in mind as you read it. Have mercy. Possibly send help. It's whatever.

I do not own Naruto, and am making no money off of this story.

Interlude:

The Bounce Back

Naruto

They were totally vibing, was the thing.

Pein was, after all, a Tragedy Ninja. And communing with the Tragedy Ninja was Naruto's specialty, despite the fact that this was a bullshit talent that had caused Naruto so much pain and suffering of his own across the years, after being forced to listen to some truly terrifying levels of self-important bitchery (Neji alone. Jesus Christ. Neji.)

But really, nobody could cherry-pick their own talents, and so Naruto? Was stuck with his ruffled feathers, woe-is-me, 'here is my stupid outfit to express how much the world has failed me' shinobi. And it was okay, actually. Because these guys really did have some truly awful stories at the end of the day, stories that made Naruto's blood pound with injustice, stories about being broken by the ninja world over and over again that kept sparking Naruto's drive to fix this shit as soon as possible, because really, how did this keep happening?

And so Naruto and Pein (or Nagato, he supposed): totally vibing. Nagato was doing his thing, sharing his tale of despair, and it was genuinely shitty enough that Naruto was mostly managing to keep the memory of their mutual teacher at bay (Naruto's blood howled for justice for Jiraya-Sensei. Naruto's brain told it to shut the fuck up and listen, because he knew that's what Jiraya-Sensei would have really wanted.)

And so, Naruto was listening. Naruto was understanding, because that was the key to Naruto's talent, really. He didn't want to stop the ninja with the terrible stories. Didn't want to defeat them for the sake of victory, of winning, of good vs. evil, just like that, black and white. Naruto had learned the shades of gray in the world before he'd learned to how to throw his first shuriken, had picked up the language of reactions dependent on the identity of the one acting faster that he'd picked up the common tongue, and he knew: stopping these ninja like that, slapping them off like an alarm clock? Would have invalidated every ugly, awful thing that had pushed them down this road to begin with. Naruto didn't want to do that. The ugly, awful things were as much part of a person as the good and pure, and cutting them out would take away the strength that the ugly, awful things were often nice enough to leave behind.

No. Naruto wanted to take those ugly, awful things and honor them. Show these Tragedy Ninja how to channel their hurts for good, show them a better way, a way that gave them purpose and peace instead of an endless feedback loop of pain and suffering.

He was going to do it with Nagato. He was, because he couldn't settle for anything less. It was going to be amazing. Inspired. Worth an actual pat on the back from Kakashi-Sensei instead of the stupid horse-collars that was his preferred way to show affection.

But then, Madara Uchiha showed up to crash the party. Because apparently, no Uchiha could reach his full potential in life unless he was ruining Naruto's. Like, forget all that bullshit about Mangekyou Sharingan being the pinnacle of Uchiha Achievement. Somewhere, deep in the bowels of the burned and blackened remains of Sasuke's family compound, there probably existed a scroll that read 'True Secret to Uchiha Satisfaction: Fucking with Naruto Uzumaki'.

Naruto informed Madara of this. Very seriously, he said, "You Uchiha ninjas need to get off my dick a little, okay?"

Madara blinked. Nagato made an uncomfortable noise, caught somewhere between a wheeze of laughter and a death rattle. Naruto thought that somewhere, back on the battlefield of the Leaf Village, Sai was probably tingling with the innate knowledge that all of his favorite words were being said outside of his immediate presence.

"Charming," Madara eventually decided. "I'll make sure to tell your friends that those were your last words."

"Is that, like, supposed to make me sad or something?" Naruto wondered. "Because let me tell you a thing: they would not be surprised. Not a single one of them. Sakura probably has something similar already carved on a precautionary tombstone or something."

Nagato wheeze-rattled yet again. Naruto was starting to fear for the functionality of his lungs.

"I don't understand why my kin has failed to kill you all this time," Madara said, so pleasant and conversational. The fucker. "I really don't."

"Aw. Because Sasuke loves me, really." Naruto bared his teeth. "And I'm harder to put down than you might think, old man."

"Is that so?"

"Absolutely so."

"Alright then." Madara gave Naruto this awful little smile, so warm and amused, almost fond, like he was humoring a favored nephew. It made Naruto want to puke while also clawing Madara's face off. "Come and show me, then, just how difficult you are to put down."

He crooked two fingers in invitation.

Naruto breathed before he moved. Because Kakashi-Sensei had taught him better than attacking blind and angry. Jiraya-Sensei had taught him better.

He breathed. And then he blurred into action.

##

Naruto didn't believe in impossible. He didn't buy into the idea that there were fights he couldn't win, enemies he couldn't stand against.

But that just meant that he was willing to push back against steep odds, not that he was incapable of seeing them when they were there.

Because, in this particular fight? Naruto needed to defeat Madara. Defeat him completely, down into the ground, 100% done and dusted.

Madara didn't need all that. Didn't want all that, even, because it might have damaged Naruto's fox.

All he needed was a momentary weak spot. A tiny, infinitesimal crack in Naruto's defenses, a single second of inattention for Madara to slip through and shine those stupid Sharingan eyes.

Naruto tried to comfort himself with that as he snarled and bucked and struggled against the physical force of an illusion, so strong that it was knocking Naruto backward, shoving him back inside his own head and then changing the landscape of it around him.

Naruto tried to comfort himself with that. That he'd put up a good fight. That Madara was bleeding, at least, and breathing heavily, that stupid Uchiha serenity shattered even the barest bit. That it wasn't over—Naruto could find a way to shake this, Naruto would find a way to shake this, because there was no other choice.

But that comfort was colder than the mists swirling in around him, forcing him back, further still, back and back until he was lost, unmoored, unsure of where he was, who he was, what exactly he was supposed to be doing, time and self slipping through his fingers like silver smoke—

##

There was a hand on Naruto's cheek, gentle, and a decidedly ungentle voice announcing, "I swear to God, kid, I will punch you right out of this nightmare. And then your principal will see your black eye and make me go to Parenting Classes again, and I will burn this entire world down around me. You know that I will, Naruto, so don't make me do the thing."

Naruto blinked open eyes that felt like they weighed two million pounds and jerked a little at the face hovering over his own.

"Mom?"

"Bitchcakes," Kushina said in a trembling voice, because she was terrible even when she was scared. "Okay. There you are. Hi."

"Hi," Naruto croaked. His throat was raw. Every inch of his skin was coated with sweat. His heart was racing with wasted adrenaline, demanding that he get up, that he do something, something important. But he couldn't remember what, and it made him itch. "Mom, what-?"

"A nightmare." His mom's face was waxy white. "A bad one, baby. You were screaming. I blocked your dad from coming in, because he was having so many feelings and they were giving me goddamn hives."

"I AM PERFECTLY FINE AND 100% IN CONTROL OF MY EMOTIONS," Minato bellowed from the hallway, in an obviously tear-clogged voice.

Kushina ignored him, like a champion, and said, "But it's over now. Everything is okay."

"But I'm supposed to…something…Mom…"

"No." She leaned close. Pressed her forehead against his. "Everything is okay. Okay?"

"Okay," Naruto whispered, because it was his mom, and he wanted to believe her. Always. But the itch wouldn't go away.

Kushina stroked his face for another minute, slow and soft, wiping away the sweat and tears and other sticky, uncomfortable things that came with nightmares. And then, she rose to her feet.

"Tell your friends to hug you tomorrow," she said.

"Sasuke won't," Naruto said back immediately, and then stopped. Because Sasuke…why did it feel like Sasuke's name was a question? Like Naruto was scared to say it, like he wasn't sure if it belonged here, if his Mom would recognize it?

But Kushina said, with grim certainty, "Sasuke will. Sasuke will give all the hugs I command, if he knows that I am the one to command him. Just tell him I said so, baby boy, and you'll get that hug."

And Naruto relaxed. Relaxed completely, because of course his Mom knew his friends, of course she did. Worrying that she didn't, that was a leftover of the stupid nightmare. Must have been.

"Stop emotionally traumatizing my friends into doing your bidding, Mom," he said.

Kushina paused at the doorway to flash him her toothiest smile. "But where else am I supposed to get my minions when I make the inevitable jump to super villainy?"

Naruto snorted. Outside his bedroom door, his dad snorted, too. Kushina grinned wider, victorious, and said, "Night kiddo. Sleep a little tighter this time, okay?"

"Okay, Mom." Naruto snuggled down into his blankets. The itch beneath his skin was gone. "Night."

A/N: I don't even know, guys. Next up: Kakashi's POV-For fucking real, this time. Happy Reading!