Felicity watched as her parents soon left to begin their work. "Ah... Good, they've left," she sighed. "Now to begin preparations."
"What are you doing?" Zofia asked her big sister as she walked by.
"Big kid stuff," Felicity said. "You wouldn't understand."
"How do you know?" Zofia replied. "Maybe we want to understand, but you just never give us a chance to!"
"You're preparing for a party, aren't you?" asked LJ flatly.
"Like I said, it's big kid stuff," Felicity said as she took out a videotape with a purple dinosaur on it. "Here, why don't you watch a movie in the other room and go to bed early?"
"...You're mocking me, aren't you?" LJ asked, fiercely squinting. "One, I am not just some little kid! Two, pretty sure Mom, Dad, and Uncle Thor wouldn't want you to throw a party while they're gone. In fact, I bet $20 somebody destroys something just because it's not their house, so they think they can do whatever they like!"
"LJ... Just let me have this, okay?" Felicity said.
LJ and Zofia both looked disappointed in their sister as she was acting a little selfish.
"Alright, now if I plan correctly, Audrey, Delia, and Deidre should stay long enough for a couple of movies," Felicity said to herself as she took out a couple of video cases. "I rented a romantic comedy and a horror flick. Perfect for a high school party, right?"
"Sure, if it's a small crowd," replied LJ. "This Audrey is probably gonna tell everyone and then they'll all show up. Cuz when the parents are not home, then that's when they bring everybody."
"I just know this is going to backfire," sighed Zofia. "Mother and Father will be livid with fury! They trusted you to make sure nothing went wrong!"
"My guests will be here and back before they even notice!" Felicity told them. "Now go to your room so I can have my party!"
"Flick-" LJ and Zofia tried.
"Don't 'Flick' me!" Felicity told them. "Get out of my way so I can have my party with my friends!"
LJ and Zofia cringed as they walked off away from their older sister.
"Fine..." LJ scoffed. "She doesn't want to listen to reason? She can learn the hard way."
"I've never seen her act this way before," Zofia sighed. "She must be having adolescence again."
Felicity soon brought out a lot of soda, ordered for several pizzas, and set the living room up for the party.
"I sure hope I don't get like that when I get there," sighed LJ. "Or you, either. It's like she's been replaced by some sort of evil clone!"
"We have to save our sister somehow," Zofia said to him. "I'm not sure how or when, but we should find some way to cure her. It looks like being a teenager has spread virally to her and the others like some sort of illogical pathological disease!"
"Then we need to use something that teenagers hate..." replied LJ. "But what?"
"Pimples?" Zofia tried out.
"Nah, that would take too long," LJ replied. "Anything else?"
"Hmm... Surprise tests?" Zofia tried again.
"...Nah, we'd never be able to pass ourselves off as teachers," replied LJ. "Let alone come up with convincing questions."
Zofia sighed a bit. "I dunno, Brother..." she said with defeat. "I guess I'm not smart enough to figure out how to scare off a teenager."
LJ sighed until something caught his eye. "...Or we could just read from Felicity's math textbook," he suggested.
"Pardon...?" Zofia asked. "What are you saying, we conduct a 'Mathosist'?" she then asked, trying to combine Math with The Exorcist.
"I guess so," LJ replied. "Not like we have many better ideas."
"It'll do," Zofia said. "We'll let Flick have her little party... But it'll all be over soon..."
The two laughed a bit like evil geniuses while Felicity waited for her guests to show up.
"Perfect," Felicity smiled at the spread. "Now I just gotta wait for 'em."
First came Mal, Evie, Jay, and Carlos.
"So you're really sure that you want to go through with this, huh?" asked Mal.
"Of course I'm sure," replied Felicity. "This will be my ticket to the big time!"
"Just don't forget who your real friends are." Carlos told.
"Yeah, sure, come on, guys," Felicity told them. "Make yourselves at home."
"Sweet place," Jay smirked as he saw a lot of valuables. "My house would look like a palace with all these nifty toys."
"Jayden, heel." Mal told him.
"Besides... My father has all of our belongings electrified if they leave the premises," explained Felicity. "Needless to say, we haven't had a single burglary here."
Jay looked like he was about to test that.
"No! No!" Mal scolded him as she shook her head. "I'd believe her."
"Well, okay..." Jay shrugged from that.
"Nice looking home," Evie smiled at Felicity. "My mom calls our place a mansion, but it's anything but."
"Yeah, it's real small..." Mal added from that. "Bigger than my place, but still small. At least my place has a balcony."
"Thank you." Felicity replied.
"Expansive, isn't it, Dee Dee?" asked a voice.
"I've seen worse, Dee Dee." replied an identical voice.
"So... This is party central," said Audrey. "Not bad... I guess."
"Audrey, you made it, along with your friends." Felicity said.
"Yes, the Dennis twins," Audrey introduced. "Delia and Deidre."
"Oh... Um... Good to meet... You..." Felicity said as she was unsure which was which.
"Charmed..." began Delia.
"...I'm sure." concluded Deidre as she and her sister stepped inside.
"Um... Right..." Felicity said as the twins followed Audrey inside.
"Aw, great, it's the Queen of Mean and her Clones." Mal grumbled to Evie, Jay, and Carlos.
"Well... This should be fun," Jay sighed. "Like a root canal without anesthesia."
Carlos grimaced a bit from that.
"We need some make-up," Audrey told her friends. "Oh, Jane?~"
A plucky brown-haired girl rushed over with a make-up kit.
Carlos looked at her with a gasp like she was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen.
"Sorry, Audrey... Here you go, uh, Dee Dee..." The plain girl named Jane said softly as she came to help them with their make-up.
Carlos' face went bright-red with surprise, as he watched Jane at work; there was something... Majestic about her, that much he knew.
"Hey... Aren't you the headmistress's daughter?" Felicity asked Jane.
"Huh? Oh, uh, yes, I am..." Jane smiled bashfully. "I can't stay too long. My mother is crazy about curfews."
Audrey and the Dennis twins hid eye rolls from that.
"Okay, where's the party at?" asked Chad, a smug-looking upperclassman who'd just shown up with his buddies.
"Yeah, where's the party at?" A bandanna wearing blonde boy added beside Chad.
"Let's drop anchor right here, boys!" A black-haired boy who tried to sound like a pirate smirked. "YAR-HAR-HAR-HAR!"
"Charles C. Charleston III 'AKA' Chad is here... He's probably the most popular boy in school..." Felicity whispered to herself from the shock.
"Not to mention his cronies: Gil and Harry..." Evie rolled her eyes.
Soon, lots of people had begun pouring into the Schwartz house.
"Hey, Claudine. Good to see ya, Ginny. Great party, huh, Freddie?" Felicity greeted as she walked by various guests.
"Now?" LJ asked Zofia.
"Not just yet..." Zofia replied.
Meanwhile, up on a rooftop...
"Two helicopters stolen last night," Gordon told the three with him as he shared some photographs with them. "One a state-of-the-art attack chopper, the other an old army surplus job. Got to be Two-Face."
"His lackey didn't know much," replied Batman. "Just that whatever Dent's planning, it goes down tomorrow night."
"Sure. It's Tuesday and the second of the month." explained Gordon. "And that Two-Face said it would be twice as big as anyone can imagine. He's also re-wrapped his face in bandages. Not letting anyone see him."
"Why?" asked Gordon. "What did he do to himself? You don't suppose he...?
"Maybe. He's scratching both sides now." said Batman, holding up a scratched coin. "As if he's become consumed by his dark side."
Gordon took a look at the coin as it was flicked over to him.
"Guess that explains the small nostalgia." Catwoman II remarked as they heard from Two-Face again.
"I wouldn't rule out that he's hurting himself." Gordon told them.
"It must have been impossible to resist the compulsion." Batman replied.
"We still talking about Dent?" Gordon asked from that.
Batman gave him a stoic look in response.
"You know you can't just bring in Harvey and be done with it. It's bigger than that now," Gordon warned. "You've already ruffled-"
"The Mutants," Voltage spoke up. "They're next our my list, but first things first."
"A target that needs two helicopters, that's twice as big as anyone can..." Batman added.
They soon looked to each other before they saw where the signal was shining on which seemed to be their next answer.
"The Gotham Life Building..." Gordon said to the others.
"Talk about plain sight..." Bat-Mite muttered.
"Tell me about it." Voltage rolled his eyes slightly.
"Let's go." Batman told the three of them.
"Erm... Yes..." Catwoman II replied as more cats came by her feet. "Shoo! Shoo, cats, shoo!"
The cats quickly dispersed and left.
"Sorry about that, guys." Catwoman II said bashfully.
Batman shook his head slightly before they scoped towards the building beside them.
Meanwhile, back at home, the party was kicking into full swing, and there were hundreds of guests inside. Felicity smiled as she seemed to love the attention.
"Hey, drink this." Gil said as he gave a cup to Felicity.
"Oh, cool, I love tea," Felicity said as she took the cup to drink it before her eyes widened as something weird happened to her. "Oof... That's not tea..."
"It's time." LJ replied as he got the math book and was dressed in ceremonial robes.
Zofia did a bit of a religious gesture from that. Felicity stumbled a bit as she came to sit on the couch with Mal.
"Some party, Flick." Mal grumbled.
"Ah, you know it's good..." Felicity slurred in her speech.
"Kill the music!" LJ said as he put on a helmet with a voice modulator.
Zofia nodded and flipped a switch, killing the music.
"Heeey... What happened to the music?" Felicity asked.
"I think someone shut it off." Gil stated a bit dumbly.
"No kidding..." Deidre and Delia deadpanned in unison.
"REPENT, FIENDS, FOR SALVATION IS AT HAND!" LJ boomed in an impression of a televangelist preacher. He then opened the book. "The Pythagorean theorem, also known as Pythagoras' theorem, is a fundamental relation in Euclidean geometry among the three sides of a right triangle. It states that the area of the square whose side is the hypotenuse (the side opposite the right angle) is equal to the sum of the areas of the squares on the other two sides. This theorem can be written as an equation relating the lengths of the sides A, B, and C, often called the 'Pythagorean equation': where C represents the length of the hypotenuse and a and b the lengths of the triangle's other two sides. The theorem, whose history is the subject of much debate, is named for the ancient Greek thinker Pythagoras!'" he read out loud.
"What the heck is that?!" Audrey complained. "Felicity, is this a party or some boring lecture hall?!"
"My insides are on fire." Felicity mumbled groggily.
"Oh, crap, you're drunk, aren't you?" asked Carlos. "Chad, you dumbass! What the hell did you do to her?!"
"I didn't do anything, Skunk Head," Chad rolled his eyes. "Besides, it's just a little booze that Gil got from his dad."
"YOU GAVE HER BOOZE?!" Carlos shouted, louder than he'd ever been before; in a fit of anger, he lunged at Chad and began wringing his neck.
Chad yelled out from that. "Get off of me, you peasant!"
"Whoa! Carlos! Jeez..." Jay winced a bit.
"I've never seen him act like that before..." Evie said as she backed up a bit worriedly. "Should we be concerned?"
"No, why?" asked Jay. "Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy."
"You think you're better than us?! You think you can just boss us around?!" Carlos snapped as he shook Chad around like a rag doll. "Well, FORGET IT! This time, the dog bites back!"
And all the while, LJ continued reading from the math book and Zofia would blast some of the teenagers with a super soaker full of holy water... Which was actually tap water with some vinegar and olive oil mixed in. Some of the teenagers hissed from that.
"What the heck was that?!" Ginny complained. "This is gonna mess with my frizzy hair!"
"Your hair?!" Claudine glared at her. "My father's gonna throw a fit and make me pray for forgiveness over my best clothes being ruined like this!"
"Begone, evil spirits!" Zofia called out as she helped LJ.
"The Power of MATH compels you!" LJ boomed. "The Power of MATH compels you! Get thee behind me, demons!"
"Demons?!" Claudine glared. "My father says I'm a child of God!"
"Okay, don't have to bring religion into this," Mal grinned sheepishly. "Seriously, what the heck is going on here?"
"Yeah... What're you doing?!" Felicity called out to her siblings.
"Felicity, we have to stop this party before it gets too out of control." Zofia warned her older sister.
"It was fine until you ruined it!" Felicity glared, though her left eye seemed to bulge. "Get outta my party before I ground you all until the dinosaurs come back."
"Relax!" said Jace as he and Harry picked up LJ. "Arry an' I will 'andle the little pipsqueak!"
"Hey, lemme go, you mooks!" LJ grunted, trying to break free from their grasps.
"Quite a biter, ain't he, Jace?" Harry asked his cousin.
"Oh, for sure, but we got 'im." Jace chuckled.
"Let go of my brother!" Zofia glared as she kicked them both.
"Ow! Feisty!" The Badun cousins glared back at her.
"I'll go between the legs if you cross me enough!" Zofia threatened.
"Alright, fine," LJ said calmly as he got to his feet and brushed himself off. "We know when to go, but when this gets out of control? Just remember: we gave you a chance to reconsider before it was too late." And he furiously stomped up the stairs before slamming his door shut.
Zofia winced a bit from that before looking all around. "Felicity, this party is too crazy..." she said. "You should tell everybody to clean up or at least leave so we can clean up before the adults get home."
"Piss off, Shorty." Felicity slurred out.
Zofia's eyes grew wide before she glared from that. "So it's gonna be like that, huh? Well, good luck cleaning up this mess with your so-called friends who haven't already left yet!" she then retorted as she decided to go to her room as well. "I can't believe I used to look up to you!"
"Yeee-haaaaw!" yelled Deidre as she began throwing plates like frisbee disks.
One-by-one, they crashed into the wall, shattering.
"Uh-oh, should we clean that up?" asked Harry.
Delia scoffed. "Why? Not our house," she replied. "And not our problem."
"Okay, cut it out." Mal glared.
"Why?" Audrey smirked. "It's not our house. It's not like you're above property damage anyway, Mal~"
"You don't know anything about me." Mal growled from that.
"Here I come!" Gil shouted as he took up one of the family portraits and began sliding down the banister, using it as a surfboard. Before he hit bottom, he leapt off; the portrait wasn't so lucky, and it smashed into the wall, cracking in half.
The teenagers cheered as they kept on partying and causing lots and lots of damage to the house and its possessions.
"Felicity, they're ruining your house!" Jay cried out. "...It seems like something I would do, but this is not cool!"
"But we're all friends here..." Felicity said, still a bit groggy. "They'll help out. You'll see."
"Felicity, they're using you," Jay sighed as he took the big brother role around her. "I'm just trying to look out for you."
"...Get a haircut, you look like a girl." Felicity said to him, a bit grumbly.
Jay gasped. "...Low blow, Felicity..." he said, hurt. "Low blow."
The party went on for a few more hours after that.
"I don't know about you guys, but I'm out of here." Jay told Mal, Evie, and Carlos.
"You can't leave back home, because I'm going too." Evie said.
"Same here," Mal added. "Felicity's parents are gonna have a whole slaughterhouse of cows over this mess."
"But... I thought we promised to be there for Felicity, no matter what?" asked Carlos.
"That was before she decided to ditch us for The Snob Squad." Mal replied.
Carlos looked to them before looking over at Felicity.
"Face it, dude," Jay told Carlos. "Felicity changed. We better get out of here."
Carlos looked a little upset to leave Felicity, but the four all decided to go as Felicity seemed to be doing Jell-O shots right now, but naturally, like most things, it wouldn't last for very long, since Cherry, Lionel, and Thor were pulling into the driveway.
"Good thing we left when we did," said Evie. "Looks like her parents are home."
"I feel bad that we left her," Carlos said. "We're her friends."
"Yeah, well, I'm not so sure if we are anymore." Mal said as she almost sounded like she had hurt feelings.
The door burst open, and Lionel, Thor, and Cherry stood in the doorway. The party ground to a halt at that.
"AAAAAAAAAALRIGHT!" Lionel shouted, his eyes alight with flame. "EVERYONE WHO DOESN'T LIVE HERE, GET THE HELL OUT BEFORE I CALL YOUR PARENTS!"
The kids all looked a bit terrified as they decided to go. Felicity tried to blend in with the crowd.
"And where do you think you are going?" Thor asked as he grabbed a hold of Felicity's collar to pull her back. "I think we have to have a talk, young lady."
"I thought you guys would be back later..." Felicity said, a bit groggily.
"Phew!" Thor gasped as he waved the air in front of his face. "Why do you smell like a liquor bar?"
"Because she was drinking," replied Lionel as he checked the security camera records. "Not to mention THIS..." He played the footage of Felicity lashing out at her younger siblings for both of them to see.
Thor looked a bit firm towards Felicity.
"We are very disappointed." Cherry told their daughter.
"But I was just having some fun!" Felicity told them. "You were all young once!"
"Oh, so you consider destroying property fun?" replied Lionel. "You consider yelling at your siblings and insulting your friends fun?"
"I'm fine... I just... I just..." Felicity glared before she cupped her mouth.
"You just... Just... Just... Spit it out!" Cherry glared back firmly.
Felicity soon threw up on her mother before she fell flat on the floor.
"Classy..." Cherry muttered. "Boys, help me clean up and get her to bed, if you please."
Lionel sighed and snapped his fingers, cleaning Cherry up, and another snap to get Felicity to her bedroom. "...You two go to our room..." he told them. "I'll meet you up there shortly."
"You sure you wanna handle this?" Cherry asked as she rubbed her eyes a bit.
"Yeah... I'm not afraid to get firm, though my body is as soft as a marshmallow." Thor added.
"Look, you two get some shut-eye," said Lionel. "Once Felicity is back to herself, I'll personally settle it in the morning. Fortunately, it's a weekend."
Cherry and Thor looked at one another, and headed up the stairs.