"(m/n), the band's getting together for a jam session. You in?"
"Of course!" I replied eagerly to the familiar voice of Sam on the other end of the phone call.
"See you soon."
"Yep!" I hung up and started out the door. Any time I could spend with Sam at this point was exciting, even if there were other people around.
"Hey, (m/n), glad you could make it." Sam greeted me at the door.
"Me, too." We walked back toward his room. I said hello to Jodi and Vincent, the former of whom was leaving and the latter of whom was going to his room.
"Hey, guys, you both know (m/n), right?"
"I don't think so. Hey, I'm Abigail." I had already guessed this was the Abigail Sam and I had talked about earlier.
"(m/n) is here to play keyboard with you, Sebastian."
"Sweet, let me show you the ropes." Sebastian had quite the setup. He delegated me his second keyboard, showing me how to change instruments and whatnot.
"1, 2, 3, 4" Sam counted off and laid down an epic guitar solo. I had a thing for guitar solos.
Abigail rolled her eyes and laid down a rock beat and soon Sebastian joined in. Although it wasn't the most impressive, it was nice to see Sebastian was better than I had expected. If this is what Sam considered not very good, I was worried what he would think of me. Oh, well, I'd never find out just sitting here.
"I guess...I should," I thought to myself. I felt a bit out of my league. I started mimicking Sebastian as best I could. Fortunately, we were really only laying down a progression for Sam to jam over. That was fine with me, I wasn't completely comfortable around these guys yet.
Sebastian looked over at me, smiled, and started to add in some more complicated stuff. Maybe foolishly, I took this as encouragement. I added in a couple riffs of my own, which managed to garner the attention of even Sam, who slowed his pace at first, but thankfully readily joined back in with his initial vivacity.
Eventually Sam lost himself a guitar solo a little too much, and got off beat and out of key. Abigail, not willing to keep up, quit her drumming. Sebastian followed suit and I realized it was just me and Sam at that point. Even if it was fun, our music sounded awful, so I stopped, too.
"Yo, Sam. I think it's worn out." Sebastian snapped Sam out of it.
"Oh, sorry, haha. Guess I just got lost in the music."
"Right." Abigail said smugly. I could tell Sam did this often. Tense but not awkward silence followed.
"I think we all were." I said and Sebastian chuckled a bit. In all seriousness, that was about half an hour of, if I say so myself, pretty great music. I could tell that I was gonna fit in with these guys, at least musically.
The band continued on for at least two hours, I had honestly lost track of the time, I was too involved. Playing music with these guys, with Sam, just felt right.
The music wound down for what felt like the twentieth time, and everyone looked ready to quit.
"Well, gang, that was pretty great. Have fun, (m/n)?"
"I guess," I said sarcastically, and fortunately Sam recognized this and laughed.
"Let's wrap it up, then." Abigail chimed in and started hitting the ride cymbal slowly and evenly. Sam smirked, furrowed his eyebrows and started playing to match, a noticeable deviation from his usual fiery style. Wait, I know this song. Oh my God, I know this song. At my realization I audibly caught my breath, earning a grin from Sam. It was Say It Ain't So, by Weezer. I loved this song. I could tell they loved it too, as the three of them quickly became engrossed in the music. Of course, I had to play along.
I knew all the lyrics by heart, and was singing along under my breath. When we got to the bridge, I was suddenly joined.
"Dear Daddy,
I write you
In spite of years of silence"
Sam began to sing.
"You've cleaned up
Found Jesus
Things are good or so I hear"
I noticed Sam's eyes start to glisten.
"This bottle
Of Stephen's
Awakens ancient feelings"
I understood too well.
"Like father
Step-father
The son is drowning in the flood!"
Oh, Sam!
"Yeah, yeah yeah, yeah yeah!"Sam backed up like he had been singing into a microphone, locked eyes with me for a split second, and instantly shot his eyes to the ground. Abigail continued to play, but she didn't dare to look away from her instrument.
"He doesn't...he's never sang before..." Sebastian said toward me but more to himself. I hadn't realized it, but I was tearing up. Partly due to the music, and partly at seeing Sam get so emotional. Finally, the song came to its close, and after the last note sounded the four of us just sat in silence.
"Sorry, (m/n), that's just, uh, how we, er, how I...um...end. With that, song, I mean."
I wasn't exactly sure how to respond so I opted not to. That song was one of my favorites, but mentioning that now seemed inappropriate.
More silence passed until finally Abigail said, "That was really fun guys. (m/n), it was so great to have you here. I think I'm going to enjoy playing music with you."
"I bet you will." Sam said angrily, unexpectedly.
"Sam! What's your problem?" Abigail snapped back.
"Oh, I'm sorry! Here I was just pouring my heart out and not one of you wants to comfort or talk to me!"
"We don't owe you any help! Just cause you've got daddy issues doesn't mean we need to."
"Are you kidding me? I can't believe my ears! How can you call yourselves my friends and not care about me?"
"Because, Sam, you're not the only one with problems!"
"And if you were open enough to share your problems, I'd help you out, Abigail. But the least you can do right now is not argue with me and make me feel like I'm being ridiculous right after I was emotionally open to you guys!"
"Sam, buddy, can we please talk about this later?" said Sebastian, sincerity in his eyes.
"I know this isn't a good time. But even so, I don't need any more criticism." Sam was obviously embarrassed. Partly from arguing in front of me, and partly at the his feelings of rejection.
"Sam, you're the one who got mad at me!" Abigail said, more out of confusion than anger. At this, Sam seemed to calm himself down. However, he was still visibly shaken.
"You know, what Abigail, I think I have one more song. Just a little thing I've been working on just for you." And Sam started to play Creep by Radiohead.
And Sam started to sing.
"You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
And I wish I was special
You're so fuckin' special"
Sarcastically.
"But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here"
Abigail's eyes glistened.
"I don't care if it hurts
I want to have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul"
I understood too well.
"I want you to notice
When I'm not around
You're so fuckin' special
I wish I was special."
Sam's angered voice cut into Abigail. He was hardly even singing at this point but his fingers continued to shred.
"I'm sorry, Sam! I know I hurt you! I didn't...I couldn't...I thought...it would be better..." Abigail was crying. Abigail got up and ran out of Sam's room, out of the house, crying. Sebastian quickly got up and followed her.
"She's running out again,
She's running out
She's run
Run
Run
Run."
Sam spoke the last lyrics to himself quickly. Lost in thought. He looked despondent. Or relieved.
"(m/n), I'm, I'm sorry you had to see that. If you haven't figured it out yet, Abigail's my ex-girlfriend. She broke up with me about a month ago and although she might have thought we were on good terms, I'm not ready to forgive her just yet." Sam Sat down. I sat beside him.
I stayed silent.
"That song...that song meant a lot to us, while we were together."
"I, I..." I still wasn't sure what to say.
"It's okay. I know that was a lot to take in. I really didn't handle the situation well at all. I just, I'm so fed up with her. She's been so aggressive. She's blamed me for everything. She manipulated, used me. And she, she..." I could tell it pained Sam to talk about this.
Words finally found me. "You can, uh, talk to me about anything. About Abigail. About, um, your dad. Whatever. Just know, that, uh, I'm here for you." I was so nervous. I was overjoyed that Sam had opened up to me, but simultaneously distressed because I really could understand what Sam was going through. It was upsetting to see him like this, so genuinely lost. I hesitantly put my arm around Sam's shoulder.
"Thanks, (m/n). That really," he took a deep breath, "means a lot." He turned toward me, not smiling, not frowning, meaning in his eyes. His golden hair was soft. He closed his eyes and finally looked at ease. He smiled a bit. We sat there peacefully until I noticed a very slight, persistent noise.
"Do you hear, like, crying?" I said.
Sam opened one eye, then suddenly jolted up. "Oh, damn, that's Vincent. I gotta go talk to him. He didn't need to hear all that. You should probably go."
"Oh, uh, okay."
"Sorry. My mom might be home soon anyway. I'll see you around." Sam walked me to the door.
"Bye, Sam." And he closed the door.
Well, that was abrupt. I needed some time to process all that. At least we would have a lot to talk about now.
(A/N) – I hope people know those songs well enough, and I hope it wasn't too cheesy.