For DannyMay Day 12- Gloves, 13- Regret, 14- Breathe, and 15-Fave AU
Note: Part 2 of 2, Read "Lost, Corruption, and Doctor" first. This takes place after my Dannyversary story, The Haunted. In this au, Phantom is Danny Fenton's ghost, a spectral double created by the portal accident. The two started as enemies before deciding to work together. This story focuses on Phantom's thoughts on their relationship.
Phantom grinned up at the sky, laying on the grass beside Danny Fenton. "See! I told you it was amazing."
The human blinked and then glanced over at the ghost. "Yeah. It really is. Thanks for taking me out here to see this."
The other being shrugged. "We both like watching the stars." It was true; Phantom loved stars, as he learned the first time Danny suggested stargazing on a slow night. And it made sense, considering what and who Phantom was. "I figured this was worth sharing."
Danny gave him a small smile. "Definitely. I can actually see the Milky Way."
The ghost opened his mouth to reply before a cool breath exited his mouth. He frowned. His ghost sense and so far from Amity Park? Phantom rose to his feet at the same time Danny's eyes widened.
"You're going to go see who it is?" The human asked. Phantom nodded. "Do you want me to go with you?"
"No. Hopefully it's nothing." Phantom said.
He spoke too soon. A metallic ghost with a flaming green mohawk burst through the trees. "I will have your pelts!"
Before either boy could react, Skulker shot at Danny. Phantom managed to pull the human to his feet and out of the way just in time.
"Skulker!" The ghost shouted with gritted teeth.
But the hunter ghost did not respond, instead aiming another shot which barely grazed Danny's hair. Anger spiked in Phantom; Skulker was specifically targeting his human, his much less resilient and prone to injuries (compared to a ghost) human.
The ghost pushed Danny away, towards the trees. "Danny! Run!"
"But…" The human started arguing, before Skulker took another shot specifically at the boy.
The hunter dipped towards the ground as Phantom returned with a blast of his own. "Go! I can handle him!"
With a brief look of uncertainty, Danny sprinted towards the trees. With the boy relatively safe, Phantom turned his attention to Skulker. He growled; the hunter was not going after Danny anymore. He body-slammed the other ghost and the fight began in earnest.
Dodge. Ectoblast. Dip underground, then up. Ice.
The battle was a blur of motion and color. A shot of something dark barely missed Phantom.
Ectoblast. Surge of ice. Bob and weave. Ice. Dodge. Another near miss.
A shot of ice to Skulker's back and Phantom reached the thermos hanging off his belt. In the brief distraction, Skulker turned and landed a burning shot on Phantom's abdomen. He yelped, pushed back but managed to keep the thermos in his hand. With a swift motion, he uncapped the device and sucked Skulker in.
Briefly he smiled in success (he caught the ghost and Danny was safe), before the pain on his stomach registered. He doubled over, a hand going to his stomach. He pulled the appendage away, his eyes widening. Ectoplasm, bright green and glowing stained his white glove.
Another wave of pain. Not good. He needed to find Danny. Struggling to stay in the air, Phantom flew in the direction the human had run. Luckily with Phantom's excellent hearing and eyesight (plus the full moon), Danny was easy to find; he wasn't that quiet running through the forest, the sound of his heavy breathing loud to the ghost's ears.
His flight giving out, Phantom plummeted to the ground in front of Danny.
After that, everything was muddled and confused for a while.
Limping through the forest. Danny supporting him. Pain.
He thought of something funny. Laughing. (But Danny was worried. Doesn't like Danny worried.)
Need to get back to the clearing. Tried to fly.
Blackness. Pain. Did he fall asleep?
Phantom's awake again, on the grass. Danny's trying not to cry. He's very worried, scared. Phantom's scared too.
Blackness on his stomach. In his guts. Wipe it away. Cut it out, Danny.
The knife….there. "I trust you." He does, he does. Even when Danny hated him, he trusted Danny.
Pain! Pain! Pain! Screaming. It hurts. It hurts It hurts. Ectoplasm. Black. Green. Black Green.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry." Danny's sorry. Danny doesn't want to hurt him anymore. But it hurts. Hurts. Hurts. Why?
Blackness.
He's barely asleep but it's PAIN. And Green and Danny's crying. Danny's screaming. "Keep it together!"
No no no! His jumbled mind screams. Stay together! Stay here! Can't go. Can't die again.
Cold and wet on his face. His neck. Tries to stay solid but falls apart. "I'm not losing you!"
Can't leave Danny. Doesn't want to leave Danny. But slipping. Pain! Pain!
Emotions- anger, sorrow, fear, despair. His? Not his? Danny's? He's hurting. Phantom needs to do something!
Desperate Love. Danny loves….Phantom. But Phantom is a copy, not real. Not a human but not a real ghost. No name. No past. No family. No friends. But….Danny? But…..Danny loves him?
Energy flowing in him and through him. His soul (is he real enough to have one?) pulling to Danny's. The melting stopping. His body healing. He can breath again (not needed but comforting). He needs to wake up, needs to tell Danny he's okay.
Neon green eyes flitted open and closed.
Though the ghost opened his eyes, it felt like an eternity before his blurry vision cleared and his scattered mind registered who was leaning over his prone form. Black hair, blue eyes. Danny.
The boy's face was blotchy and red, tears falling down his checks. His lips moved in some kind of desperate plea. But Phantom couldn't make out the words, his ears ringing. The ghost tried to furrow his brow but his face just twitched. Danny was saying one word over and over again? The sound was faraway like Phantom was underwater, the syllables blurring together.
Danny mouthed the word again. "F...om. Pha..om..Pha..om...Phan..om. Phantom." The word seemed to pop into clearity. "Phantom."
The ghost blinked, finally deliberately meeting Danny's eyes. The boy was saying his name? (But not really his name. 'Phantom' was something that ghost had picked out to call himself, when he'd first appeared, because he didn't remember his true name. When he'd meet Danny, he'd hoped the human could help him figure out this real name but….that didn't exactly happen).
Danny seemed to register Phantom's slight return to awareness, relief fluttering across his face. "Phantom! Can you hear me?"
The ghost tried to nod but his head felt heavy; It refused to move. Actually his whole, normally lite as air, body felt heavy and lethargic, sensation faraway but slowly returning. At least he wasn't still in pain.
"Phantom?" The human asked again.
The word brought his attention back to Danny who was looking at him expectantly. The ghost took another breath and exhaled, air passing over his vocal cores as he experimentally hummed. Slowly he worked his mouth, trying to speak. "Da.."
Before Phantom could manage to get Danny's name out, he started coughing, the air tickling his throat.
With eyes wide, Danny's hands wavered uncertainly over the ghost. "It's okay. Don't try to talk. It's okay."
The ghost squinted his eyes closed before opening them again. He swallowed, focusing on the feeling of air coming into and out of his lungs (if he had those). Again, slowly Phantom tried to nod, this time succeeding.
"You're okay. You're going to be okay." Phantom couldn't tell if the boy was trying to comfort him or himself as Danny kept rambling. "I promise. I….I...Phantom. I thought I was going to lose you. You were...you were..melting. And there was green everywhere. And...and it's my fault."
Phantom frowned, core pricking at the human's distress. "Danny. No" He tried again, words coming out as barely a whisper.
Danny didn't seem to hear him. "I...I cut...I cut.. Tooo… much. And….and too much ectoplasm, everywhere. You lost too much." The boy gripped his hair with ectoplasm-stained hands. "And…. the batteries didn't work. Or…."
The ghost whispered again. "Danny"
Danny's breathing increased. "I shouldn't have given you ectoplasm. The….my parent's stuff...it...it messed with you. You...you could have melted 'cause of me." A sob broke free from the human's throat.
"Danny..It's…" Phantom hissed, sucking in breath. "It's…" His voice failed him, too quiet compared to Danny's heartbroken cries.
"You...you almost melted. And I...I couldn't do anything. I….I just sat here and...and…"
With tremendous effort, the ghost moved his finger, inching them onto Danny's knee. The lite touch finally seemed to get the human's attention as his watery gaze met Phantom's again. The ghost swallowed. "It's...okay, Danny."
"No it's not!" The human's voice rose in a sobbing whine. "You could've died! You could've died. And I never said I'm sorry. Or you're my best friend. Or I love you."
Phantom gaped, minding stuttering to process the confessions. Instead of asking why Danny was sorry, expressing surprise about being the human's 'best friend,' or assuring the boy that he loved him too, his mind fixated. "But...I'm a ghost. I can't die."
Danny's watery eyes narrowed, lips turning down in an indignant frown. "That's not the point, Phantom! I could have lost you without actually telling you how much I care about you!"
The outburst silenced Phantom's reply, the raw sincerity startling him. Danny cared about him, loved him. He'd….he'd felt it earlier, when Danny did whatever he had to save him. But….Danny actually saying it? Not hiding his feelings and vulnerability? Phantom knew Danny could be emotional; most of their early confrontations had quickly become heated. But Danny had never cried in front of him, at least without running out of the room and hiding his face. But now…..
Phantom looked up, taking in the still sobbing Danny. He knelt beside the ghost, looking down with arms around himself, making him look small and vulnerable. Like someone who desperately wanted and needed to be comforted.
"Danny. It's...I" Though his voice was stronger, the ghost stopped, unsure of what to say.
Instead, he strugglingly push himself into a sitting position. Danny eyed him again and before the ghost could react, Danny surprised him again. The human flung his arms around the ghost's chest, hugging him while the boy continued to cry. "Phantom. I'm sorry..I'm…." Still uncertain (Danny'd never hugged him before….well expect for when he'd cling to Phantom like a terrified, baby monkey, the first few times the ghost flew with him), the ghost returned the hug as Danny continued apologizing. "I should've….You almost...I'm sorry you almost melted 'cause for me."
Something in the statement- the hurt, the shame, the guilt- provoked Phantom to tighten the hug, confidence growing. "You...you saved me."
"No. I…." Danny tried to argue.
"Danny." Phantom said his name softly, feeling his eyes start to water. "Whatever you did, you saved me. I felt it."
"But…"
"You healed me. You did. I'm only here because of you." A tear fell from Phantom's eyes at the words, words he'd said to Danny as a barb meant to injure him in the past but now taking on a different meaning. "I know….I felt how much you care about me. And….I love you too."
Phantom closed his eyes, letting the tears leak. He didn't understand how he'd felt those things but he had. And he didn't understand how Danny could love a ghost like him, especially him. But he felt it. Part of him argued it too good to be true but it felt real, nothing like a trick.
The two stayed like that, hugging and crying for a minute at least until both boy's tears slowed. Phantom pulled back. He wiped his eyes, fixing them on his lap while his mind whirled with questions. They knocked together in his head with memories of his short existence, all circling around Danny. Danny who he'd care about the moment he'd laid eyes on him. The ghost had felt familiarity, a connection, a kinship then. He'd been fascinated, hoping the human boy knew who he'd been before death and could help him remember.
And then he'd confronted Danny and got his answers, answers that stung like fire, stealing the non-existent breath from his probably non-existent lungs. The answers ultimately told him nothing. They made him feel like nothing, less than a person, just an echo. And when Danny'd become angry, seemingly hating him, Phantom had still never seen the human as an enemy. He'd been angry with Danny, over how the human treated him but he'd hated seeing Danny hurt himself ghost hunting and hoped to work together, to protect the town and each other.
He'd almost leapt in joy when Danny took up the offer to work together. And his core had prickled with happiness as Danny warmed to him and he learned more about the boy whose death he'd been created from (it was almost like if he could learn more about Danny, maybe he could learn about himself too). What's more, he came to care about Danny too, wanting him to be happy and safe. Or really he always had, being what he was.
All those thoughts, that progressing relationship led here, to Danny saving him and calling him his best friend. And Phantom didn't even know where to start solving that puzzle.
Finally, Phantom looked up, meeting the human's gaze, who had been kindly studying him. The ghost swallowed, feeling uncertainty returning. "You said….I was your best friend earlier?"
Obviously noticing Phantom's nervousness, Danny smiled gently. "Yeah. I spend more time with you than Sam and Tucker. And...you're just….you're cool and funny and always have my back. You're fun to hang out with and we...we have a lot in common." At the last statement, Phantom's expression fell; that was part of the issue.
Danny's eyes widened, noticing the reaction. "Do you not….think of me as a friend too? I mean...it's okay if you don't but I thought….."
"No." Phantom cut him off, Danny's slightly dejected tone stinging. "I do want to be your friend. It's just…." He ran a hand through his hair. "I don't….I don't understand why you'd want to be friends with a ghost like me."
Danny's frown just deepened. "I don't think all ghosts are evil like my parents do anymore. And you…."
Phantom shook his head cutting him off. "I know that. I do. It's just…..I don't know how you can be friends with a ghost like ME." He emphasized the word, glancing at Danny who returned sad confusion, showing he didn't understand. Phantom would have to...how could he explain?
Uncrossing his legs and bringing them towards his chest, Phantom forced out the dread-filled words. Deep, dark, secret feelings that he tried to ignore most of the time, that he didn't really want to believe welled to the surface. "It's just….I'm YOUR ghost. Your echo. I'm not….real like you are. I….I'm lucky you can stand me at all. I don't understand why you'd want to be friends with a copy like me."
Danny's jaw dropped, his face paling with a complicated mix of emotions. "Phantom, that's…"
Instantly, Phantom felt guilt balling in his gut. "I...I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. Just forget it." The regret lashed out. He shouldn't have brought that up and just accepted what Danny thought. Not made the boy question, not reminded Danny of the accident and his death that made Phantom and bond the two together.
The ghost looked down, feeling ashamed. But he startled slightly when Danny put his hand on the ghost's arm. "You….really think that?"
Phantom nodded, core clenching at how dejected Danny sounded. "I...I shouldn't have bothered you with that. It's…."
"No." The arm on his squeezed. "No. I...I needed to know that's how I made you feel."
Phantom raised a brow. "Danny. No. That's not true."
"It is." The ghost could see the shame rising on Danny's face. "You….I'm the one that told you, you're my ghost. And….I told you, you were nothing. I treated you like you were less than a person, like you were worthless, a nobody. And after we made up, I...I never talked about it. I never brought it up. I should have."
The ghost swallowed. "I could have brought it up too."
"No." Danny shook his head, regret audible in his voice. "I'm the one who put those ideas in your head. I'm the one who's responsible. And I was wrong, Phantom." He squeezed the ghost's arm. "I was wrong. You are not worthless. You are not nothing. And you are not and have never been just a copy of me."
"But…." Phantom frowned. "I'm your ghost."
The human took a breath, fixing loving eyes on the ghost. He moved his hand from Phantom's arm and then moved, putting two hands on Phantom's shoulders. "Yes. You are my ghost. But that does not make you worthless or not real." The hands on Phantom's shoulders squeezed. "You are real, just as real as I am. I care about you and you are my friend, no matter what else you are."
The soft declaration brought a tear to Phantom's eye. Danny really did care about him, even knowing what he was. "Thank you, Danny. And….I'm your friend too. I'm really happy I have you." It was true; he was so grateful to have Danny here, not just now but during his whole existence.
But despite Phantom feeling comforted, he was still confused. "But...if I'm not a copy, then what does being your ghost mean?"
Moving his hands away, Danny blinked at him and then frowned. His brow furrowed in thought for several moments. Finally he spoke. "Skulker calls us...dimensional twins. And I think that's...a good word for what we are."
Phantom nodded, thoughtfully. He bit his lip. "He does call us that. But…..I thought that was just because we look the same."
"Yeah. Part of it is how similar we look but...I think it's deeper too. We're….made from the same stuff."
The ghost tilted his head. "What exactly does that mean?"
Danny frowned slightly. He sighed, clearly thinking deeply before his eyes brightened in realization. "Okay. So you know human identical twins?" Phantom nodded. "They have the same DNA, the same blueprints. They look the same, might have similar personalities, sometimes think the same. But the two aren't the same person. There's always differences, sometimes random or from just….living different lives, making different choices."
Phantom nodding, thinking. "I kinda get what you're getting at but….. we're not human twins though. I'm not human at all, I don't have DNA so…...how are we made from the same blueprint?"
The human's brow furrowed. "I….don't really know. It's just….we both knew you're not just a random ghost that looks like me. There's too many similarities like….we both love the stars and have scarily similar senses of humor."
"I do love my puns." Phantom smirked ever so slightly, then his face turned more serious. "Yeah. And I've always felt...connected to you, even before we actually meet properly."
"Really?" Danny's eyes lit up curiously.
"Yeah." Phantom nodded. "Back then, I thought I was just interested in why we look the same but...I think now it was deeper. A real bond." He frowned slightly. "I'd say at the soul-level but I don't know that ghosts have those."
Danny frowned too. "Mom and Dad don't think so. But then again, my parents think that ghosts don't experience real emotions. Can't really change or think like humans. They think you're just imprints of human emotion, definitely not people." He then deliberately met Phantom's eyes, expression determined. "But we both know none of that is true. You are a person; there's no reason to think you don't have a soul."
Phantom nodded, agreeing. Danny reinforcing his personhood felt good, really good. But it still left him with so many questions. He came from Danny's death, obviously. But where did his fully-formed consciousness come from really? The soul Danny was convinced he had?
The ghost paled, an idea entering his mind. Maybe their souls…..he and Danny….He swallowed, trying to wrap his head around the insane, but very tempting thought.
Eyes widening, Danny seemed to notice his sudden stiffness. "What is it?"
Phantom blinked, working his mouth. After a moment, he found his voice. "Do you think…." His voice cracked with nervousness. "Human twins….they...they start as one embryo that splits into two." He took a breath, bracing himself. "Do you think….we did that?"
Danny paled, blinking rapidly. "What?"
Phantom closed his eyes, litely clenching his fists. Part of him hated himself for even thinking it, let alone asking. But if he didn't voice it, the idea would always be clawing in his mind, breathing down his neck and tainting the way he saw Danny. "Do you think the portal….the Danny who went inside, the accident...split him and...err...made us?" All color leached out of the human's face, his eyes widened into unblinking saucers. Phantom's stomach flopped at the reaction and he coughed, trying to mitigate the reaction. "Or….errr...you're more the original Danny and I kinda…..splintered from you. Like a little bit. Like I don't have any of your memories or want to replace you or anything but….maybe my soul used to be a part of yours. But now's kinda grown into someone new."
The words stopped boring out of the ghost's mouth as he blinked at the pale human. Phantom paled himself; Danny looked deathly still, like he'd even forgot how to breathe. "Danny?" The ghost whispered.
No response. Phantom silently cursed himself. Stupid, idiot. Complete and total dumbass. He'd broken his human. Why'd he say anything?!
Knees in front of his chest, Phantom looked down, fixing his eyes on his gloves. He wrinkled his nose; they were dripping green with his own ectoplasm. Why hadn't he noticed that yet? He glanced up at the still catatonic human.
"Danny?" He quietly repeated, slowly pulling the stained gloves off.
The ghost briefly studied his pale, greenish hands. The same size and shape as Danny's. He turned his palm over, taking in the scar on his right hand. A raised dark green star-burst. The ghost hadn't seen it many times, since he wore gloves (gloves like the ones Danny wore during the accident) most of the time. But he knew what it was, a mirrored version of Danny's lichtenberg scar from the accident.
The ghost waved his unscarred hand in front of the human's face. "Danny? Can you hear me?"
Though Danny did exhale a breath, he didn't even blink in response. Phantom's shoulders fell, feeling sharp deja fu from earlier, when he was the unresponsive one. Carefully, he shuffled so he and Danny were sitting hip to hip. The ghost moved his left hand until he found Danny's clenched right fist in his lab.
"I'm sorry. I freaked you out." Phantom maneuvered his hand, attempting to hold Danny's hand in his. "I was...that was dumb."
Danny blinked, his hand unclenching and allowing Phantom to take it. The ghost sighed in relief, feeling Danny relax slightly beside him, though the human remained staring in front of him. They remained in silence for a few moments, Danny's blank stare morphing into pained, confused sadness. At the same time, dozens of emotions clashed in Phantom's head.
Finally the ghost spoke. "It's just…..I've spent a lot of time not knowing who or what I am. Or what I want really. I mean I know I want to keep Amity Park safe. I want you to be happy and safe. No one matters more to me than you. But am I….doing this right? Being your ghost? Am I supposed to be a copy, some dead version of you, an extension? Do I want to? Could I even be anything else if I tried too? I just...I don't know."
The hand holding his squeezed. "You're not me." Danny's head turned towards him, his expression soft and watery. "I know I've said that to you as an insult before but….it's not. I just….I see so much of a younger me in you. But….you're better than I am."
Phantom shook his head. "No, I'm not."
"Yes you are. You...you gave me so many second chances, even though I treated you so badly." He smiled slightly. "You amaze me really. Your honesty, your kindness, your determination. You say and do things I never would, I could never imagine myself doing. Everything you've told me tonight, in your position, I don't know if I could have poured my heart out like that to anyone."
The ghost turned his head slightly blinking. "You don't know that though."
Danny shrugged. "I don't. I just….I know you and I know me. And we're not the same person, maybe at one point, we were." He swallowed, that last part obviously difficult. "But… we've both changed so much since the accident and even since we met. Neither of us is the Danny who walked into the portal and never will be. And we're still learning and growing and changing." His mouth turned up in a kind smile. "I don't know how all this works, but I know you can be whoever you want to be, Phantom."
The ghost squeezed his counterpart's hand, taking everything in. He glanced at the human's face, so like his but different. Then he looked at their clasped hands, turning his scared palm upward. Noticing his gaze, Danny did the same. Both boys studied the hands- mirrored scar Danny's on his left and Phantom on his right. Pale, pinkish skin and a faded scar on the human's. Pale greenish skin and a dark green, fresh scar on the ghost's. The hands were the same, but different. Phantom hummed in thought; maybe he and Danny were the same but different too. And that was okay. He wasn't Danny and didn't have to be.
Finally Phantom turned his head so he met Danny's blue eyes. "You're...you have a point, about everything. I don't know either, about any of this. But knowing you believe in me….." He felt his eyes prickle with tears. "It means the world to me." Letting go of Danny's hand, the ghost moved his arm around Danny's back in a side hug. "And I think….I'd like to be your friend and twin."
Danny moved his arm around Phantom. "I want to be your friend and twin too. And everything else, we can figure out together."
Phantom smiled, leaning his head against Danny's shoulder. Yes. He wasn't Danny and didn't have to be. But he could stay by Danny's side and let their similarities, their bond make them stronger. "Yeah. Together."
Scrapped:
He'd stumbled out of the portal, where he'd been 'born', with no memories, just vague familiarity of the house, the town he appeared in. He knew the words for things and would sometimes vaguely recognize humans passing on the street.
And that was another thing, he knew he was a ghost. He knew the powers he had and that he was here for….some reason, though he couldn't remember what. But the ghost could not remember his own name. He chose the name Phantom, from what some of the first humans who saw him called him. But he knew there was more.