"How did you find our reborn Tudors, Dan?" Liz asked that evening. "What is 'Good Queen Bess' like in person?"

"I talked with Mary and Bess Pembroke, Liz, not 'Bloody Mary' and 'Good Queen Bess.' They and their mothers have a certain something about them. You are the journalist amongst us, but I doubt even you could define it in words.

"Kate Pembroke, or Katherine Howard as was, is a buxom stunner and was in far skimpier attire than the others were. I could turn my eyes away from her, though, and from her former stepdaughters I could not.

"Now, Baskerville needs his evening walk. I'll see you tomorrow. Goodnight."

"What's wrong with Dan?" Mickey Denning, the remaining Irregular asked. Slightly younger than his comrades, he is short with large protuberant ears and close-cropped dark hair. For obvious reasons, he was nicknamed Mickey Mouse during his schooldays. "He seemed off just now…"

"That intensive driving course we undertook was useful, Bess," Mary commented, as she drove the white Land Rover Discovery through the suburbs of outer London. Rush hour was almost over, and the streets were largely quiet. "You should take the course, Kate. Our mothers and Ned all have." Ned was Edward Seymour, 1st Duke of Somerset and the Lord Protector of England during the minority of his nephew Edward VI, Mary and Elizabeth's half-brother. He was removed from office during a coup before being beheaded on spurious charges. Now alive again, the Crown had had the problem that his titles are still held by various branches of the Seymour family to this day and not available for recreation. Edward considered that a fair price for having thriving descendants! Luckily, a later Seymour title, Baron Seymour of Trowbridge, had become extinct. A few discrete letters of patent and Edward was an aristocrat once more.

"According to the satnav, this is the right place," Bess noted as they entered through the gates to Old Park House. "Well, there is no mistaking that vehicle!" The gaudily coloured camper van in front of them was indeed unmistakably the Mystery Machine.

Following their friends' vehicle to a small private car park, they got out of the Discovery. In addition to Mystery Inc, the Pembroke girls were not surprised to see Rex, Louise, Jean, Linda, Jon, Penny, George and the Three Investigators were all present. Rex and Louise's adoptive daughter Harriet and the Scamanders completed the group, with George's dog Timothy and Jigger's monkey Ranji to keep Scooby-Doo and Baskerville company. Dan led Jeff, Liz, Mickey and Baskerville out of their outbuilding headquarters and introduced his human friends to the Pembrokes.

"Welcome to our office," Dan said, as he led the party into the main room in the outbuilding. Jeff used a remote control to have a large monitor screen descend from what was once a hayloft above down one of the walls. Dan picked up a tablet from his desk and linked its screen to the monitor. Once that was done, he opened a video file of the mysterious dancing skeleton and the demonic laugh.

"We have no idea as to how this apparition was produced, assuming that it isn't genuine," Dan said afterwards. "What we do know is that the vineyard is under increased financial pressure to sell to an interested party with a dodgy past. Other than the fact that the owner is one Charles Crawley from Bognor Regis, we can tell you little more about them." Dan tapped his tablet and a photo appeared on the monitor. This showed a man of average height but comfortably below average weight. He had greying black hair, bloodshot eyes and what appeared to the Pembrokes to be a cruel expression. "I am showing you a photographic image of Mr Crawley."

"He looks like a villain, Dan. Clearly, he's our culprit…"

"As you well know, the Law doesn't convict on appearance alone, Mickey!

"Your Roy - I mean, Mary, Bess and Kate – we know that there is a holiday cottage temporarily going free at the nearest of Mr Crawley's vineyards to Gregory Dawson's. The vineyard in question is called the Creepy Vines…"

"Shouldn't that be Creeping Vines, mi amigo?" Linda Craig asked. Despite her Scottish surname, her olive skin, dark eyes and long raven-hair make her maternal Hispanic genes evident. "Creepy means something else entirely."

"Creepy would be the standard schoolboy nickname for anybody surnamed Crawley," Rex replied. "As in creepy-crawly…

"Crystallised Cheesecakes! Some London clergyman back during the Blitz didn't christen the young Master Johnson 'Jigger,' Linda. He has three Christian names with the initials J.I.G. We did that sort of thing all the time at Sheldrake Grammar School back in the 1950's. British schoolboys can't have changed that much over the last sixty-five years or so. Schoolgirls too, for that matter. Honestly, I ask you…?"

"Getting back to the briefing," Dan interrupted, "we are going to hire one of the cottages at the Creepy Vines Vineyards. Please could the three of you take your horses and stay there for a week? If so, you could do some snooping around for us."

"If we can help in any way," Mary said, "we will. What do you want us to do, Dan?"

"Basically, we want you to find out if there is anything to suggest that Mr Crawley or his acolytes are behind our skeletal friend. The holiday cottages come complete with unlimited free wi-fi and access to outdoor and indoor swimming pools, stables and extensive grounds for walking and riding. You can use these activities as an opportunity to look around.

"To help you, our friends at MI6's Q-Branch have put together these handbags for each of you." Dan handed medium-sized black handbags to each of the Pembroke Girls. "They look ordinary enough and an airport scanning machine would reveal nothing unusual. That doesn't mean that there aren't some useful tricks hidden inside. For example, you see the three decorative stubs on the front of each bag. Turn the central one clockwise, and an external secret compartment containing a combat baton and a flat throwing knife opens.

"If you could open the bags, please?" The Pembrokes did so. Inside, they found purses, mobiles with chargers and portable power banks, ballpoint pens, pocket diaries and some makeup accessories. "In an idea that Q-Branch got from Willie Garvin and Modesty Blaise, twist the base of any of the lipsticks clockwise, and you will have thirty seconds to either turn it back anticlockwise or throw the lipstick away before the tear gas grenade in the base detonates. Press the central decorative stubs of the powder compacts lids when opened and the mirror surrounds will glow bright red if the room is bugged and green if it isn't. Twist the top of the pens anticlockwise before clicking the cap and, instead of the nib, one of six doses apiece of a powerful anaesthetic spray will be launched up to six feet from the barrel. Again, twist the tops back clockwise and they work as normal.

"The mobile phones, however, are particularly sophisticated. As you can see, they are of the smart phone variety. If you could turn them on, please." Mary and her sisters did so. "Rex took a picture of the three of you during a visit to Pembroke House, which is the background to your menus. Now, if you touch your respective face in said photo, nothing will happen. If, however, I insert this gizmo in turn into the micro-USB port in your phones whilst you are touching the second finger of your right hand against your face in the picture, then the next time you tap it, something different will happen." They did so, and as Mary expected from seeing Rex use his mobile from the same source, new apps were displayed that wouldn't be obtained from Google/Android, Apple or Microsoft.

"These allow you to make encrypted secure calls and text messages, place and listen to bugs, take photos and videos in infrared, scan for hidden entrances and much more," Dan continued. "Before I forget, you can pair them with these Smart Watches." He handed them black women's smart watches and charging stands. "Once paired, tap the screen twice with the same finger as for the phone and you can activate an emergency homing device, a cutting laser, a diamond-encrusted circular saw and other useful features. It is based on a traditional watch model originally designed for Joe McClaine and issued to the likes of Henry Mills of Storybrooke over the years.

"We thought that these may come in useful on this and any other assignments that you assist us with. These days, the villains we face are rarely the art and jewel thieves of yore and sometimes require us to take better care of ourselves than in the past."

"Thank you, Dan," Bess said. "Sir Francis Walsingham would have had a field day with the phone and watch! Mind you, my reign's execution count would have been even higher than it was."

"Thomas Cromwell could have used it against your sister at her trial," Daphne Blake mused.

"Which historical fiction author were you reading?!" Kate muttered. "Thomas Cromwell was executed on mine and Henry's wedding day and thus was not involved in my downfall more than a year later. Not even that bloody Gregory woman made that mistake! Why do people insist on learning history from romantic novels anyway?

"That said, Cromwell was heavily involved in my adoptive mother Anne's demise. I wouldn't mention him around her, though. She still hates him almost as much as she does Henry…"

"Jeepers! I'm sorry…"

"Don't worry, Miss Blake, Daphne," Mary said kindly. "Kate merely has had enough of people seeing her as an idiotic wanton. She, err, was and is fond of male company, but never slept with anyone but my father during their marriage. Papa should have had enough sense than to marry a teenager when he was nearly fifty, obese and with an ulcerous leg in any event.

"Remember, whoever we were is not who we are now. I prefer Rome to Canterbury, but that zealous tyrant is dead and buried. Bess is happily married to the Doctor. Kate still flaunts her figure and will flirt with any man with a pulse but is less – naïve than she was. The Dowager Duchess of Norfolk was a lax guardian, after she was orphaned in infancy. My mothers didn't need to adopt her – like Bess and I, she was restored old enough to not require it – but they wanted her to know what loving parents are like." Anne Pembroke – Mum – is twice the woman Anne Boleyn was. I guess that being married to Mama makes her a better person, and marriage to Papa made her a worse one.

"That is a very Anne thing to do," Rex agreed. "From what I can see, your birth mother is the same, Mary. Katherine Howard was effectively sexually abused by at least two adult males, before she wed King Henry VIII. He then behaved with all his usual subtlety and restraint when he discovered that the pretty young thing that he had recklessly married wasn't a virgin on their wedding night and had taken up a close relationship with one of Henry's grooms. Both denied that they had been lovers and Jane Boleyn, her main Lady in Waiting, vowed that she had not acted as her go-between, in between fits of insanity. All three of them still got beheaded anyway.

"Kate, that odious oik Henry should never have married you. Let your mothers and sisters help you to recover from the emotional scars of your previous life."

"I will, Rex. Yes, I still like to flirt and love the skimpy new fashions of the present age. My figure has always been my greatest asset!

"Next to Mary and Bessie, however, I am not as bright and as talented as they are. They can read, speak and write in languages ancient and modern. Bessie ruled England for forty-four of the most glorious years in its entire history! My looks are all I have, and both Mary and Bessie are gorgeous…"

"Kate," Mary said, taking her sister by the hand, "you used your own money to pay for supplies that my poor former governess the Countess of Salisbury needed in the Tower of London and begged for Papa to spare her, Sir Thomas Wyatt the Elder and others. He did spare Wyatt. Lady Salisbury got a few months extra before that botched beheading! You even wrote young Culpepper a letter in your own hand, as overly romantic as it was.

"Don't put yourself down! With a more rigorous education, you could have been a fine scholar in your own right. As it is, you dance divinely and are far cleverer than I fear you appreciate yourself."

Kate embraced her sister and pecked her cheek. "Thank you, Mary. You are so kind! I couldn't have better sisters than you and Bessie."

"In any event," Bess interjected, "we must retire back to Pembroke House to pack. Dan, when are we due to begin our stay at Creepy Vines?"

"Your week stay should start from this coming Saturday."

"Capital! We have three days to pack and practice with our new possessions.

"Mary, Kate, we must get pack to Pembroke House for luncheon.

"Please come for dinner tonight, all of you. Our Mamas love meeting animals, so feel free to bring them with you."

"Gryffindor won the Quidditch Cup this year. Rose Weasley scored more times in a season than any Chaser in Hogwarts history. Scorpius practically proposed to her on the spot when that statistic was announced."

"Yes!" Anne Pembroke (Gryffindor 1512-1519) was ecstatic. "Lions Rule! I was a fair Chaser myself in my day, but never dreamed of claiming that record. Rose clearly takes after her Auntie Ginny!

"Ron must be over the moon. Pass on my congratulations to the Weasleys please, Luna."

"I will do, Anne.

"Your Marchioness seems besotted with Ranji. Henry VIII had a Royal Menagerie at the Tower, so she must have seen one before…"

"Catalina used to have a pet monkey herself, so will be spoiling Ranji as thoroughly as I do Timmy, Scooby and Baskerville.

"By the way, Jigger, thanks again for those two dogs and a cat that you were looking for a new home for. They are going to be much loved here."

Madge the Persian cat was in her basket and Mark the greyhound and Francis the Alsatian seemed to be guarding their new mistresses.

"No problem, Anne. I knew that the pair of you could do with more animals than your horses around the place."

"We agree," Jane de Lisle agreed. "No Tudor Court is complete without them.

"If you would all excuse me, little Robert needs feeding." She picked up her son and took him into the nursery for feeding and changing, Guildford following them. George and Jane Rochford took Miriam to their bedroom for the same purposes.

"So, here's a toast," Louise called. "To the Pembroke Girls, that their first adventure may be a roaring success!"

"The Pembroke Girls!"

Gregory Dawson sighed. After yet another daily happening, his labourers were on the verge of quitting in mass. My business can't survive this much longer. Dawson's Vineyard will be another Crawley one before the summer is out, unless something happens soon.

"It will seem strange not having the girls around," Anne noted to Catalina as they snuggled together in bed the night before their daughters were due to leave for Creepy Vines.

"Si, mi amor. A week, however, will go before we both know it."

"I know. It's just that, after not getting to speak to Elizabeth for over 480 years, I don't want her to be away that long. You and Mary didn't get to meet for even longer…"

"Rex has asked us, Ned and George to join the party ready to ride to the rescue should one or more of the girls answer the call to arms, Anne darling. In any case, not even death is the end, although a painful death is not what I want for them. Poor Kate has already had one of those. She doesn't need another…"

"I agree. That said, better the quick touch of sharp-honed steel than cancer, like Mary, or old age, like Bess. You died of illness. It was far more prolonged than the stroke of a sword that parted my head from my shoulders. Switch sword for axe, and the same was true of Kate. The headsman despatched first her and then my sister-in-law with a single blow apiece. Would that the Countess of Salisbury or the Duke of Monmouth have been that lucky!

"You are right, though, 'Lina mi amor. Anyone who attempts to harm our daughters will have us to answer to! You come from a long line of warriors…"

"I was a warrior myself. Remember Flodden Field!"

"My grandfather and uncle remembered Flodden very differently!"

"Admittedly, Norfolk and Surrey led the actual fighting. I sent the dead Scottish king's bloodstained coat to Henry fighting in France, though.

"Now, Anne, I know just how to keep our minds and bodies occupied for a little while…" Catalina leant over and kissed Anne passionately. "An hour or so of lovemaking will do the trick nicely, mi amor…"