Mary and Bess were sunbathing after their swim, both reading eBooks on their mobiles. Kate was still in the pool, happily flirting with her new admirer.
"Dan has just texted me," Mary said, "that the pub they are staying is supposed to do a superb Sunday roast dinner. We have a choice of turkey, pork, beef or lamb. Given that we only have ready meals with us, I am looking forward to proper food.
"Strangely, he never listed chicken, duck or goose. Perhaps they are served on alternate Sundays or something…"
"I believe that roast goose has long since fallen out of favour, Mary, and is rarely eaten these days."
"Oh, that makes sense! What about duck and chicken?"
"Duck is used in some Continental and Asian dishes, but rarely in a roast, apparently. Roast chicken is still popular, but chicken is a cheap meat and the best hostelries tend to offer turkey instead. We have roast chicken occasionally at Pembroke House, but that is because Aunt Jane found that marvellous recipe for it.
"Both Aunt Jane and Cousin Jane are settling well into domestic life as new mothers. Not that a true polymath like Jane de Lisle ever stops being a top scholar, any more than you or I could."
"How true, Bess.
"Kate! We need to shower and change before heading into town."
"I'm coming, Mary."
Mary parked the Land Rover in the car park in front of The White Hart. The three young ladies were in elegant knee-length dresses and had their handbags with them. They entered the pub, ordered a half of cider apiece and sat down at a table. At the neighbouring table, the Irregulars minus Baskerville were seated.
"How is your holiday going?" Liz asked, glancing around to check that the eyes of the bar were fixed on the international cricket match on the large flatscreen television.
"Very well, thank you," Bess replied. "We have swum and gone horse riding. There does seem to be a link between Creepy Vines and the mysterious apparition. Oh, and Kate has picked up a new male admirer…"
"Really?! Who is it?!" Kate seemed genuinely surprised.
"Our new friend Ali has been most taken by you," Mary informed her. "Your, err, bikini body has really caught his eye.
"Mr Caddick seems like a nice young man, Kate. He is handsome and charming, too. If you are looking for a boyfriend, you could do a lot worse."
"Well, I am not looking for anything serious, Mary. My last romance got me beheaded for non-existent adultery! Your own marriage was a disaster. Bess lucked out in catching the eye of the Doctor!
"If Ali wants to kiss me, I'll kiss him back! He is all the things that you say that he is. I'm not looking for a husband, however, but I will let him down gently if he proposes to me."
"From what I have seen, Kate, he wants a holiday romance, as I believe the term is. He will flirt with you and kiss you but does not want to carry you back home as his bride.
"There is a man or a woman out there for you, Kate. You will make that someone happy, as a comely lass with a kind nature and a charming personality. Until then, a little light romance from time to time is no sin."
"Thank you, Bessie. Until I find my soulmate, I shall not say no to a beau!"
"Meanwhile," Mary continued, "we shall be having an evening meal at the main house tomorrow. If we can get a chance to plant bugs and those vehicle tracer things, we will. Hopefully, we can get you your evidence."
"Try discretely asking questions about potential new acquisitions at the dinner table, or mentioning the nearby apparitions in casual conversation," Liz suggested. "Somebody might let something slip.
"In the meantime, why don't we order a bite to eat? That roast beef dinner that has just been served a couple of tables over looks cooked to perfection. I will order that with bread-and-butter pudding and custard to follow."
The Pembrokes chose the same as their new friend. Mary found the beef to be tender and pink, with the Yorkshire puddings perfectly risen. Throw in onion gravy, roast potatoes, roast parsnips, carrots and peas, and you had a meal fit for a queen. We rarely had such fine food at my royal court.
Kate's mobile beeped. She removed it from her handbag and checked the menu, before plugging her earphones into the socket. "Mr Pennington is talking to someone he addressed as 'Sir.' I assume that would be Mr Crawley.
"Apparently, they need to step up their timetable to persuade a reluctant neighbour, presumably Mr Dawson. There is some mention of specialist equipment. We must check the stables more thoroughly tomorrow morning."
"Thanks, Kate. We can use the structural analysis scanners in our mobiles to look for secret doors and the like at the stables and the main farmhouse.
"Dan, what do you think?"
"That sounds like a good idea. Let us know your findings.
"In the meantime, our dessert is being served."
The bread-and-butter pudding was as well-cooked as the main course. All three Pembrokes agreed to visit the establishment regularly, as much for the quality of the food as for the genial company of the Irregulars.
Once they had paid their bill and left a generous tip, the Pembroke Girls got up to leave. Once Dan had settled the Irregulars' tab, they followed their new friends to the carpark. "We need to do some shopping," Mary said, by their Land Rover.
"Keep in touch," Dan said. "Activate one of your emergency homing beacons in your watches and we will come running, I promise."
"I know you will," Mary assured him, with a smile that could have melted the coldest of hearts. Dan bent over to kiss the back of her hand again. Jeff and Liz were not surprised to see a shy smile on his lips for a couple of hours after the Pembrokes had driven off.
"This meeting of the General Council of the Secret Circle is now started," Dr Stephen Strange said, from his usual seat at the sizeable round table in the main conference centre at The Alchemists Arms. "We have received a request from Mystery Inc and the Paranormal Investigations Bureau to be on red alert should magical assistance be required.
"Given her personal interest in the matter, I am sure that our latest recruit will insist on being involved in any intervention…"
"Too bloody right I will!" Anne Pembroke is just as formidable in her second life as she was as Anne Boleyn in her first. "If my daughters, by blood or adoption, are risking their lives, then so shall I if need there be. You can all be assured of that."
"Thank you." Dr Strange thought for a moment. "Will, Surrey is close to the Windsor Great Park…"
"I am willing to summon the Wild Hunt, Stephen," Will Stanton affirmed. "Herne doesn't get to play as much these days, though. The results could be brutal…
"On that subject, Cole Hawlings approached me yesterday. He, Mary Poppins and Matilda McPhee do not think that they will be needed but will intervene if required. Susan has heard the same from an old friend of hers too." Since his wife's maiden name was Pevensie, this could only refer to one entity.
"As far as we can ascertain, this is likely to be more a matter for Mystery Inc than the Secret Circle. I will, however, continue to liaise with our various allies to confirm that any additional support will be on hand if required."
"Thank you, Will.
"What of our allies in the White Council? Harry?"
"They agree with Mr Hawlings' assessment, Stephen," Harry Dresden grunted. "There are no known mages living or working in the vicinity of the vineyards concerned. No magic not performed by Luna or Rolf Scamander has been detected in the area.
"As far as we can tell, this has punk in a fright mask written all over it. If you need an extra wand or gun, though, I shall be there, Harry."
"Thank you, other Harry!" Harry Potter replied. "The Auror Department back in London is keeping an eye on the situation. Luna and Rolf are on the ground with the Paranormal Investigations Bureau and I have my Aurors on full alert for any call to arms.
"Zelena, would you be willing to stay with Rex and Louise for a few days? Luna and Rolf can handle themselves in a magical firefight but are not battle mages by any stretch of the imagination."
"Of course, my flying monkey. Regina, could you and Robin take Robyn for a few days?"
"It would be our pleasure, Sis!"
"Rupert, John, Jason," Stephen continued, "are there any whispers from the demonic world of this mysterious dancing skeleton affair? I know that seems unlikely, but…"
"None whatever, squire," John Constantine agreed, with Rupert Giles and Jason Blood nodding their assent.
"Thank you, gentlemen. We remain on full alert until the situation is resolved, however. On that note, I propose that we draw this meeting to a close.
"Millicent, if you and the British Harry could continue to monitor the situation please? Thank you."
In Summer 2016, the Potters and Weasleys had discovered that Millicent Bulstrode, Pansy Parkinson and Tracey Davis had been subjected to a vicious campaign of bullying and (in the latter two cases) rape at the hands of some of their Slytherin male counterparts. Harry had arranged for them and Daphne Greengrass (as Tracey's then-girlfriend, now her wife) to undergo training and therapy on Themyscira. The combative Millicent was chosen by the Six Goddesses of Themyscira to become the empowered Amazon champion Wonder Witch. It amused the woman that, having been called ugly and fat all her life, she was now the Wizard World's most desirable pin-up! After she and Pansy had been disowned by their families, Harry had blood-adopted Millicent as his sister a couple of days before she married Pansy, with whom she had fallen in love during their time on Themyscira. Millie and Pansy Potter lived with their three-year-old son Sirius Harry Potter (Pansy conceived by IVF, using sperm donated by Harry) in a self-contained flat installed in the attic at 12 Grimmauld Place. Millie's civilian occupation was as the Archivist at the Auror Department, whilst Pansy was Ginny's PA. Later, the Six Goddesses had chosen Pansy, Ginny and nine other witches to become the Furies, a team of other enhanced sorceresses. They were Harry Potter's ultimate strike force.
"We will, Stephen," Millie promised. "Other than Parvati and Susan both being pregnant, we have a full complement of Furies ready for action.
"Anne, we can and will kick some serious arse should your daughters need us too!"
"Thank you, all of you. Now Catalina and I can sleep easier at night."
"Let us hope," Harry Potter noted, "that no big guns are required…"
The following morning, Luna, Rolf, Zelena and their muggle friends were at Dawson's Vineyard in time for the spectral apparition. The cloaked drone was airborne and the adventurers on site and the Pembrokes were watching the live feed. Dan lowered the drone remotely and activated its X-ray camera and the radial thermal imaging scanner. Both revealed what appeared to be a holographic projector and a long-range amplifier inside the farm truck.
"That is the equipment needed to produce the visual and sound effects," Velma breathed. "We have them, guys!" As if to prove her point, the dancing skeleton appeared on cue, two apertures opening in the near side of the truck immediately before. Once the skeleton had disappeared, the apertures closed and the van left. The drone traced it as it took another entrance to the grounds of Creepy Vines and parked next to an old-looking barn with signs of recent restoration work.
"We will investigate that tomorrow morning before the vineyard tour," Mary announced. "There must be sufficient evidence there to secure a conviction."
"If any more evidence would be required," Dan agreed. "Keep in touch. Enjoy your dinner at the Big House…"
"Take good care of yourselves," Rex added. "Those farmhands around the barn seem to be carrying handguns, which are supposed to be illegal."
"Thank you, Rex," Bess chimed in. "That barn is remote enough for shots not to be heard. We shall be careful, I assure you."
Kate, knowing that she had caught Ali's eye, was in a skimpier bikini for her late morning swim. Mary and Bess, less daring as usual, were still sticking to one-pieces.
"Ali, would you do me the honour of applying some more of that ointment to my back please?"
"Ointment? Do you mean suntan lotion? Ointment sounds more medical." Her prospective beau did, however, rub some lotion into her back.
"Thank you, Ali," Kate said, after he had finished. She rolled over onto her back and pulled him in to claim his lips with hers. "Very nice!" she said after the quick kiss had ended.
Bess and Mary rolled their eyes. Smoothly done, sister dear!
"I'm not really looking for a relationship just know," Ali noted. "My previous relationship ended badly, so I'm not ready for anything serious. A holiday romance would be one thing, but…"
"My last relationship ended badly too." Your husband having you beheaded is the very definition of a relationship ending badly! "I'm not looking for a suitor, Ali, but just a few kisses. Once we both return to our homes, I expect nothing will follow between us.
"So, Ali, my lips are at your disposal…"
"The Doctor told me that Kate seems to be addicted to being in love," Bess remarked to Mary. "She has a point."
"That does seem to be the case.
"Did the Doctor say anything such about me? Am I addicted to anything…?"
"No, Mary. You desire a man who will love you truly and start a family with you. Philip of Spain was a wretch who tried to court me when you were not yet cold and in the ground. Papa cruelly separated you from your mother in her last few years of her previous life. Goodness knows how many broken engagements you had!
"You need a man you can rely on. Take Dan Robinson…"
"What about Dan?"
"Nothing, sister." You have not realised it yet, but I recognise the symptoms of True Love in both you and him. Let us pray that you shall be the Lady Mary Pembroke-Robinson very soon. If I am an aunt in a couple of years or less, so much the better.
Kate was too busy kissing Ali to listen to her sisters. A little courtly love is just what I needed. Sorry, 'holiday romance…'
Late that afternoon, Mary drove the Land Rover up to the main farmhouse. After an estate worker had directed them to a parking spot, they disembarked. All three young ladies were in elegant ball gowns. Mary and Kate's were just lowcut enough in the neckline to tease their cleavage and Bess' had slashes in each side to regularly display her shapely long legs.
Ali greeted Kate with a quick kiss, as he and his friends joined them. "You are looking gorgeous, Kate. Whoever treated you badly was an idiot as well as a bastard.
Kate sighed. Rex's descriptions of Henry as an 'addle-pated clodpoll' and an 'odious oik' sum him up well. I would use Ali's terminology, but not with my sisters. For all his faults and cruel actions towards them, they have never stopped loving their father and probably never will.
A man, liveried as a butler, opened the door. "I am Pemberton. Welcome to Crawley House."
Entering Crawley House, the Pembrokes found themselves in an airy entrance hall and followed the butler up a grand staircase to a large and elegantly furnished and decorated dining room. At the head of the table, Charles Crawley sat. "Welcome," he said in a nasally tenor that made Mary's skin crawl, "all of you. I am Mr Charles Crawley, the owner of this establishment. We strive to make your stays safe and enjoyable."
The Pembrokes enjoyed a starter of salmon pate on toast, followed by a main course of roast lamb with roast potatoes, roast parsnips, peas and carrots. Both dishes were exquisitely cooked. If nothing else, Mr Crawley hired a cook that would have enriched the kitchens at Hampton Court in my time as queen, Bess thought. My reign was a literal Golden Age. Well, so is that of this new Gloriana.
"Thank you, Mr Crawley," said Kate, discretely opening her handbag and attaching a bug to the underside of the table. "This meal was superb."
"Thank you, Ms Pembroke. I endeavour to give my guests a reason for repeat custom. That adds to the profits from the vineyard.
"Wines from Southern England are doing well, but extra income is always welcome. After all, a sudden change of fortune is always possible.
"You have probably heard of the strange events at a neighbouring vineyard. A ghost frightens the workers away. The poor owner is threatened with bankruptcy."
"We did hear of that," said Donna Cork. "Do you have any worries about the skeleton moving here in due course?"
"I don't believe in ghosts, Ms Cork, so no. Sadly, seasonal workers from various parts of the world can be a superstitious lot. That is why I employ a largely local workforce."
"Do you have any plans on buying out your neighbours?" Kate asked. "With local workers, there would presumably be less risk…"
Mary nearly facepalmed herself. Liz said ask subtle questions, Kate dear! That was about as subtle as an arrow to the face!
"I have no interest in acquiring the property right now, Ms Pembroke. In any event, I would rarely discuss potential business deals with new acquaintances over the dinner table.
"For dessert, we have tarte au citron and double cream."
Mary did manage to use her mobile to scan for hidden rooms in the immediate vicinity when visiting the lavatory, but they did not have a chance to visit the private apartments, the attic or the cellars. I must speak to Dan about ways to sneak into the building unobserved.
On the way back to the car, after Kate had shared a long goodnight kiss with Ali, Bess pretended to slip in order to place homing devices on a Jaguar XJS and a Land Rover registered to Crawley and to Creepy Vines respectively. As with the bugs, these were virtually untraceable electronically and hard to spot with the naked eye. Once Mary was driving them back to their cottage, Kate reported that her mobile was receiving the signals from bug and homing devices.
"Crawley is mentioning something about stepping up operations, sisters," Kate said, listening via her headphones to the bug in the dining room. "We have something to report back to our new friends."
In which case, Mary thought, our visit to that barn tomorrow morning should provide all the evidence we need to bring Crawley and his base conspirators to justice…